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@i-got-the-feels
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Happy Anniversary
i was fully aware of how well hudson understood shane to the core simply based on his acting choices and never once have i doubted that he is the perfect casting choice but literally every time he gets the chance to talk more about shane's thoughts and feelings or the specific choices he made when playing out a scene i want to cry because NO ONE GETS IT LIKE HE DOES
can i say something mean. #myshane would HATE gay people coming to centaurs games just to support him and ilya. genuinely fucking SEETHING. he's smiling and waving at them but in his head he's just like they don't CARE about hockey they don't CARE they're only here because i'm fucking GAY they're not REAL fans do they even KNOW how good i am god this is SO embarrassing
I love Time travel fix-it fic but what if instead of Hollanov, Yuna goes back in time to fix their relationship. Just think about it. Yuna finding Ilya on draft day and saying he is really good and his mom would be proud of him. Forcing Shane and Ilya to spend time together. Giving Ilya her number so he should contact her about the brand deal.
She would do a lot and make their image so different from the beginning so they wouldn’t suffer like the first time. No one can stop Mama Hollander if she needs to protect her sons.
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I need everyone to STICK WITH ME ON THIS ONE
In an alternate universe:
Ilya Rozanov: Marley I have something really important to tell you. I have hidden a secret about myself for a long time. You are one of my closest friends, and I hope that knowing this doesn’t change anything…I’m bisexual
Cliff Marlow: (visibly confused) yeah…I know that???
Ilya: what? How did you know???
Marlow: Dude you don’t exactly hide it
Ilya: What are you talking about????
Marlow: yeah dude you speak Russian all the time. You have an accent. It’s not that crazy
Ilya:…
Marlow:…
Ilya:…
Marlow:…
Ilya: THAT IS BILINGUAL YOU IDIOT-
top 10 days of ilya’s life were definitely getting to see shane’s childhood bedroom and touching everything, he probably asked a hundred questions without breathing once - “nice room…” “what’s this” “what’s that” “yearbooks!?!” “so cute and boring” “YOU BLEACHED YOUR HAIR?” “awww you look so cute here” “most likely to play for the NHL wow” “who are these girls signing with hearts?! are you cheating on me?” “what’s that” “so many trophys mr superstar” “wearing a jersey for halloween is so boring” “can i have this picture” “you still have all your jerseys?” “who are those children” “PROM PICTURES” “aw all your ottawa friends” “what’re those?” “why are you wearing goalie gear” “you look so cute” “you read books that aren’t about hockey?” “where is the poster of me?” “you had to play with number 42?” “what is timbits hockey” “of course you were 10 year old captain” “what’s that” “hockey bedsheets im not surprised” “is that a puck shaped pillow” “wow hollander you are obsessed with hockey”
.seventy :) that one dj khaled tweet lol. also i do think that hollanov soft launch would begin with ilya soft launching being woke eventually launching being Bisexual And Better Than You Because of It
Through a wild, unavoidable and Bizarre set of circumstances, Ilya Rozanov is outed as a Bisexual man. Before he has an entire line of hopeful suitors throwing themselves at the Canadian tire center, he announces that he is spoken for. Actually, very very spoken for (as seen by him showing up to practice Mauled.)
The Internet then looks for who could possibly have the Great Ilya Rozanov locked down? Which is great news for Ilya Rozanov, who comes to work looking Mauled™ everytime someone makes a wrong guess. It is not great news for Anybody Else.
Svetlana Vetrova! Someone cries before she posts herself kissing Rose Landry with a middle finger towards the camera.
Cliff Marlow! Comes the next call as the man denies vehemently. Ultimately leading to a Twitter post citing 'please stop saying Roz and I are a thing his actual boyfriend will kill me'
Victor StSimon! Some try again only to be met with a similar answer.
Troy Barret! Some try enthusiastically, only to get lambasted publicly by The Ottawa Centaurs official acount.
Carter Vaughn! Was the next try only to get the reply of, 'do y'all want me to get turned into paste on the ice? Hell no'
Scott hunter? Some say without much conviction. They get flamed by both Scott and Kip Hunter-Grady for their effort
Hayden pike? Comes an even weaker call. They get blasted by Rozanov himself. 'you cannot be my fan anymore if you think my beautiful солнышко is fucking Pike.' This person was until recently a Shayden shipper, but no one makes any connections there.
Meanwhile Shane Hollander, whenever he's spotted in the background of other's social media during this debacle is seen to be Seething™
a selection of photos taken by other people from their first year of marriage:
towards the end of their wedding reception, sun setting, looking rumpled and tired, Ilya kissing Shane's palm while Shane is very seriously talking to Scott Hunter
the two of them with a fan, taken at the dog park, Ilya holding Anya and Shane with one arm around his husband's shoulder and the other trying to prevent Anya from licking the fan's face
Shane Hollander sitting on the Centaurs bench with blood on his face, mouth wide open, Ilya Rozanov gripping his chin and glaring at the gap where Shane's bottom canine used to be
Ilya Rozanov with his fist in the air after a goal, a smear of red in the corner of his mouth
sitting next to each other at team tape review, heads bent together, Ilya's hand on Shane's thigh, Shane's hands sketching out a play in the air
Ilya Rozanov leaning against his car in the airport arrivals line, a coffee in one hand and a forest-green smoothie in the other
Shane Hollander giving his husband the middle finger after losing the shot accuracy competition at ASG by half a second
piggyback racing across the yard with a Pike twin each clinging to their necks
Ilya Rozanov, outraged, with a face full of snow, as his husband doubles over with laughter
wearing identical blank expressions the seventeenth time a journalist asks about their "off-ice chemistry"
Shane Hollander throwing his head back and cackling in a booth at a random dive bar in a random city, Ilya Rozanov grinning into his drink
asleep on the team bus after game 5 of the conference finals, Ilya curled into Shane's shoulder
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After witnessing yet another angry and offensive answer Hayden had for one of Ilya's playful chirps, Arthur Pike will totally, and in the most genuinely innocent and hurt way possible, ask loudly "dad, why are you always so mean to uncle Ilya?" and a deafening silence will fall on the crowd gathered at the Hollander-Rozanov house for whatever celebration
.eighty-threeeee how are you guys today
I think both Shane and Ilya would be the type of parents that want to talk to their child and explain things, just so they understand how Shane and Ilya see the situation.
So their child does something stupid and possibly life threatening and tries to hide it: Shane would be overwhelmed by how close they were to experience an absolute tragedy and would ground their immediately without any explanation because everything would be too much at that point, while Ilya would try to talk to them and find out why they did something so stupid then he would need timeout for himself because there was no reason, just plain stupid. They both believe that they should never shrink from serious conversations, it's just that Shane needs a minute to collect himself before going back to their room and having a real talk with them and Ilya needs pauses throughout the talk for his sanity.
Hollanov Jr. just chilling in their room, waiting for Ilya to exit so Shane can have a serious conversation with them that will be interrupted by Ilya's attempts to make sense out of the situation before leaving the room again to go for his 5th walk of the hour with Anya.
Svetlana Vetrova: I don’t care what men think of me, unless they’re thinking “Daaaaamn!” or they’re afraid of my power.
Rose Landry: Well mark me down as scared and horny, I guess.
Ilya Rozanov: I love you, Sweetheart. I just want you to loosen up.
Shane Hollander: You don’t think I’m a loser?
Ilya Rozanov: Of course not!
Shane Hollander: You think I’m cool?
Ilya Rozanov: Of course not.
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#MYdavidhollander is a recreational stoner. he's got a bad knee from playing college hockey and it helps him relax after a long day at the treasury board. yuna knows and lightly disapproves, shane never really investigated what his dad was doing in the garage while he 'reorganized the toolbox'
once ilya comes into their lives and moves to ottawa, he ends up running into david at the dispo (cue spiderman meme moment) and suddenly david has a buddy to help him reorganize the entire garage, not just the toolbox
More menace Shane for you in these trying times
Upon meeting the centaurs, he very much reverting to Hockey Golden Boy tm. So everyone assumes the media persona is his actual attitude. Imagine their surprise when after a little while (and them being extremely welcoming) that they realize that OMG he’s funny and can be an emotional terrorist when he wants to be.
A scenario
Bood: yeah man I don’t know how Hollzy does it. He’s so calm and under pressure. He doesn’t even chirp back at anyone!
Ilya: (starts cracking up)
Bood: what? It’s true I’ve never heard him say anything mean about anyone.
Ilya: Then you do not listen very well my friend. Watch this
Shane: (sitting down after a line change, focused on the game)
Ilya: Hollander, what did you say to the defenseman earlier during the power play? Right before the puck drop?
Shane: (not at all focused on why Ilyas asking, too locked into the game) which one?
Ilya: (Glancing at Bood before looking back at Shane) The one who was talking about Harris.
Shane:(still not paying attention) I told him that at least Harris is paid appropriately for the work he does, instead of being overpaid to be a third rate defensemen for a fourth rate team who’s wife probably owns a vibrator collection for how often she needs them.
Ilya: (dying laughing and turning to Bood) See? He’s an asshole just like the rest of us
Bood: (Stunned silence before joining Ilya in laughing)
