Moderate Sarcasm

Get on Twitter: all of publishing rn is on Twitter right now. That’s where you need to be.

Participate in Pitch Parties. These are events on Twitter where you put out a short pitch (usually between 5-10 throughout the day) and agents like pitches they’re interested in. DO NOT LIKE OTHER WRITER’S PITCHES. Retweet to show support unless the rules specify otherwise. But never ever do the thing exclusive to agents (usually likes).

Get into some writing discords. Not only are these great places to find fellow writers and to network but they’re a great way to build a whisper network

Build a whisper network. Publishing is a shady game. There are lots of “publishing houses” you shouldn’t sign with if your life depended on it. One example of these are vanity press scams. If you don’t have a whisper network yet, follow the Twitter account @/YaWhispers - these are a great source of info on shady agents and publishers.

Before you sign with anyone CHECK CHECK CHECK their reputation. Talk to their other clients, see what their sales are like, check where they’ve worked before, ask around other authors, search their name on Twitter and see if they’ve been in any scandals. New agents can be great - they often have more time for you because they have fewer clients, so this isn’t to say never sign with a new agent, but just be cautious.

MSWLs (Manuscript Wishlists) are your best friend. Search using sites like manuscriptwishlist.com and mswishlist.com to find agents who are actively seeking out works like yours. Then, once you’ve found them, vet those agents like it’s your job.

Look agents up on querytracker. Querytracker is your new best friend, so say hi and get well-acquainted. This is where you’ll be able to read feedback, see what their generic response forms look like, check their response times, etc etc etc. Enjoy! You’ll be spending a LOT of time researching on here.

Follow authors who write in your genre, find out who their agents are, and follow those agents. From there, you’ll find agents THEY retweet and interact with and build your network.

Speaking of, interact! Lots of authors are super sweet and love chatting to up-and-coming authors (shout out to Ryan La Sala, Rebecca Mix, and all those lovelies) and will be super generous with their time as long as you’re also being supportive of them.

If you want, try entering contests on Twitter! Though I didn’t get anywhere in PitchWars, one of my good friends is in the finals right now! But from PW I got a whole new group of writing buds and met loads of great people. This isn’t your only way into publishing, it’s just one.

Your query letter, your pitch, and your first 3 chapters are arguably the most important things you’ll ever write. Write them. Rewrite them. Send them to your author friends. Rewrite them again. These are the things that will make an agent go ‘ooh, interesting’ and request more pages, or send you straight to the slush pile. 

If you decide to use comps, make them strong. Comps (or comparisons) are titles that are like yours, and will paint a picture for an agent of the vibe of your book. For example, Carry On by Rainbow Rowell might be comped as ‘HARRY POTTER’s Drarry meets 10 THINGS I HATE ABOUT YOU’. Magic? Check. Enemies to lovers? Check. Yay. 

When picking comps, you want something that’s not too mainstream and not to obscure, and you want to say your books are like that. Don’t say you’re the next JK Rowling, or your book is the next Harry Potter, because that sounds gross af.

Okay I have so so so many more tips so if you have specific questions, queries, etc. then drop me a DM and I can answer specific questions or make lists that are around particular topics (e.g. query letters, elevator pitches, choosing comps, any jargon that you don’t know, etc.)

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAn0QpwDUCtIa_EkTetZoaA

Therapist: Listen, you do exist, and if you didn’t, someone would have to create you because the world would be a much sadder place.

Therapist: No.

Me: Wow.

Therapist: You’re just a fucked up bitch.

Me: I do agree with the fucked up bitch part.

Therapist: Considering what you told me and how much you wanna beat him to death, he’s not. You pretty much hate him despite knowing him for years.

Me:

Me: Why did I need to come here to realize that.

Therapist: Because that’s my job to help you to understand some stuff. Also because you’re way too kind and you would let someone punch you in the guts and still consider them as your friend while they stab you.

Therapist: Oh that’s nice!!... Oh my name is on it!!

Me: Yeah!!

Me: What-

Therapist: *turns his screen and show me THIS* 

Me: 

Me: Yeah, I went.

Therapist: Was it something you enjoyed?

Me: Mh. Yeah. Sorta.

Therapist: Did you see some bears?

Me:

Me: Jerome wh-

Me: No, I want it!!

Therapist: Finally, you’re not forcing yourself for the others! And you’re doing something you want! I’m proud of you!

Me: You’re more of a dad than my own father.

Therapist: I am not.

Me: Ooh.

Therapist: Or am I?

The secretary came to tell me that Jerome actually forgot to write me down on the appointment list.

Therapist: Oh, really, I never noticed. You know, you should turn that anger into indifference. It would help you.

Me: Like what? ‘Hey Joël wassup, I’ve been very suicidal lately last night I wanted to die. Hope you have rad vacations and the weed is good save some good kush for me, kissy kissy.’ ?

Therapist: Exactly.

Therapist: Can I touch you to prove you that you do?

Me: Dinner first.

Therapist:

Me: I’m broke.

Therapist: Oh yeah.

Therapist: You still need vacations tho.

Therapist, by text: Oh sorry. I didn’t see you.

Therapist, by text: Wait. Were you at the tattoo shop?

Therapist: So your friend lives in the same street than I?

Me: Yes. Town’s short I guess.

Therapist: Were you really going to your friend...?

Me: Yes?? Why else would I be here?

Therapist: Your appointment was this morning at 11:30am, Damien.

Me:

Me: I’m gonna get a rat and call him Jerome just to piss you off.

Therapist:

Me:

Therapist: Do you smoke?

The Quiluetes are actual people being demonized as mongrels and dogs

If Jacob wants to use words like parasite, leech, blooducker etc let him do so because that’s what vampires do and vampires never had a race connection

I’m a sixth form student doing my English coursework, which involves some analysis and implementation of different author’s techniques. Is there a particular technique you’d say that you use a lot to build tension, especially in stories like Coraline? I’ve found a few on my last reread but I’d love to know if there’s some less obvious things I missed. Don’t worry if not, I hope you have a great day :)

“May your death be sweet. Run over by a truck full of sugar”

when i was in 8th grade, on my class trip to washington dc, we visited the holocaust museum. it’s a wonderful, extensive, informative place, and it’s a beautiful tribute to the victims. as a jewish kid, i knew what the holocaust was. i’d faced antisemetism every day of my life, and will continue to do so. i knew what had happened to my ancestors not too long ago.

but when i stood in that museum. in the recreation of the cattle trains used to move us to the camps. in the recreation of an auschwitz cabin, staring at the map of the camp. when i saw the pile of shoes and jewelry taken from the victims. when i learned how their hair, so very much like mine, was cut for having texture. and how their teeth were pulled for the gold fillings. i had a panic attack.

it was embarrassing, but i was a shitty little 8th grader, and i tried to hide it. but I couldn’t breathe. it was like there was a band around my chest the entire time i was in the museum. i was surrounded by ghosts, by the whispers of emaciated men and trapped women and crying children.

what is generational trauma?

it’s the psychological idea that trauma can be passed down through multiple different ways. trauma can change you significantly, even rewrite neural pathways and physically change how you think. that, paired with the cycle of subconsciously sharing our trauma with our children, as well as mixing with the trauma we learn as we grow, leads to some really rough patches in our relationships with our identites.

this is a really great 4 minute video from the healing foundation about the trauma carried by aboriginal people in Australia. tw for some really heavy topics, but all presented in a relaxed and serious environment.

what do we do?

well, honestly, i don’t know. it’s not like we’re gonna stop sharing our stories with our descendants, nor our histories. we can’t get rid of things related to our identities that give us our own trauma, the bigotry we face unfortunately isn’t going anywhere.

but being aware of your generational trauma is a good step. it’s not just being “sad” or “sensitive” to history. it’s our history still affecting us today. when your indigenous friends are made upset by discussions of colonization, when your black friends feel the weight of a millenia of racism placed on their shoulders, when your gay friends ask you to please stop using that word, when your trans friends see another historical figure deadnamed and misgendered, when your jewish friends can’t talk about the Shoah without their voices breaking.

so why the fuck are you lecturing us?

our murdered ancestors live on in us, in our eyes, our hearts. we are reminded of them constantly, made painfully aware of who we are and how many people hate us.

we were not supposed to survive, and if most of the world had their way, we wouldn’t have. (no, the allies were not heroes of wwii, you turned us away at your borders and continue to let us die from nazis today. if america had had the option, they wouldn’t have given a shit about jewish victims, but that’s a whole other essay i could write)

it’s time to start acknowledging the past, acknowledging your generational trauma and the trauma of those around you. i’m not making up an excuse to “have issues”. at the time i’m writing this, october 2020, i’m 17. i have felt this weight my entire life, and i will continue to shoulder it, as will everyone else.