Nausicaa

I was eating at my gf house, me, her and her mum. She was talking about unexpressed potential: she was asking her mum if she would make a good athlete, even tho she doesn’t really do sport. And her mum told her that whatever she wanted to do she will be very good at it and she will find her path in life she’s sure of it. I was there at the table, broken. I could not finish my food, find air in my lungs, am I so starved of love from my mother that this very simple statement can hit me like a bullet? I feel it, heavy in my chest and I can’t stop thinking about it. Definitely a core memory for my mommy issues. Sometimes I just want my mum to love me and not ask for something in return. Sometimes when everything goes south I just want my mum to hug me, caress my face and tell me everything will be ok. But sadly I know that I don’t have this privilege and I don’t think I really had it. It rips my heart out