ps i am random

Y'all ever just suddenly have the overwhelming urge to swim??? Like not actively but you just wanna,,, be in the water and have some Peace

That’s how it gets you

This is so fucking ominous am I gonna die???

do people actually preheat their ovens

this is the worst post i have ever fucking seen

Oh my god ME

*sucks guys dick* *dies of nut allergy*

did you know that proteins in brazil nuts can be transmitted sexually so if someone had an allergy and the guy had eaten brazil nuts then they could literally suck dick and die of a nut allergy

now I do

#the answer to a question i never asked

I… ok.

Gotta make em laugh so they forget you ugly

You can tell a lot about a woman’s mood just by her hands. For an example, if she is holding a gun she’s probably angry. 

me trying to do stealth in a video game: fuCK fhi s SHITTING FICK!!!!! HOw did he see me?????? I FUCKING hate this game I HATE STEALTH!!!!!!!! I HAYE MY LIFE me after completing it: Haha there I go again, pro gamer! As long as you’re a smart kid like me, you can do anything! I love stealth, it really makes you think :-)! Didn’t even need a walk through! What an intellectually stimulating video game.

“there’s a lot to unpack here” is the academic equivalent of “yikes”

time for a little anarchy

Don’t fucking play it.

when my dad moved away from home he needed a place to live, so he went to look at this one potential apartment. the only questions the landlady asked him were where he was born and when. when my dad told him, the landlady pulled out this huuuge astrology chart book. she looked at it for a long time in silence and finally said, “acceptable”