and thats why funnybunny is canon

The Addisons told us Spamton was a loser who struggled to make sales and connect with the Lightners - that is before he became a big shot, thanks to his mysterious benefactor doing it all for him. He’s also literally personified spam email. That's a lot to think about!!

I wonder, did he have to work on his “big shot” persona in private, learning to act the part of a big successful businessman who definitely knows what he’s doing? Has he told so many lies about himself that he’s struggling to remember all of them? Did it reach a point where he began to forget who he was before it all started?

At rich swanky Cyber City parties, did he secretly feel out of place, like an imposter? Did he have to learn to suppress all his weird physical quirks that come from being what he is, spam email? Did Spamton ever lie awake at night and worry if his benefactor ever suddenly up and left, he’d be lost and incompetent again? That he’d lose everything he had gained? (Yes.)

Now throw Tenna into the mix, a man who was genuinely adored and had already made it big on his own. We know Spamton never shared his secret with Tenna. Tenna genuinely admired Spamton, and I imagine this must have weighed heavy on Spamton at times.

Did Tenna's presence alone ever make Spamton feel insecure about himself? Did Spamton ever feel guilty about how he’s lying to Tenna about his success? Tenna was (likely) the one person Spamton was truly close with when at his peak. Did Spamton worry if Tenna found out the truth of his success, he'd think of him as a fraud and be disgusted and leave him, and he’d be alone? The Addisons don’t want Spamton anymore, the Cyber City upper crust are only act like they do, and the Lightners never did.

It’s also a good thing Tenna never learned what an email is. I wonder how he’d feel if he knew exactly what Spamton was: seedy spam mail meant to trick the Lightners Tenna adores so much? Would he think differently of him?

Did the stress of everything ever get to Spamton and lead to a full blown drunken crashout in his room?

(This is also very much my own special interests peeking through but the fact that he’s a walking piece of 90s internet is SO fucking cool to me and I love whenever I see it utilized.

Think about him conjuring gifs and pop up ads. Think about him accidentally spreading viruses and computer worms. Think about him glitching out when he’s panicking or he gets frozen when walking (or in his case, loading) into a new place and Tenna has to physically pick him up and carry him. That kind of stuff!!!)

Now, that’s not to say BS Spammy can’t have that suave, confident, cigar-smoking businessman side to him that I see so often depicted - buuuuuut I love to think that’s him putting on a facade, trying really hard to present himself as the person he wants to be seen as. It’s even possible that some of the power he received went to his head, heck the Mysterious Phone Benefactor was essentially making him feel like a Wall Street god, I could see some of that confident cockiness almost becoming genuine at some points, if the fear of what he actually is wasn’t in the back of his head at all times.

Like, cmon, his name is BS Spamton. He’s a bullshitter. He bullshits everyone around him. He’s all fake!