Erikson Sterling

But he wasn't surprised. Fury wasn't exactly a role model himself when it came to proper rest, he'd been hanging around base all night researching after all, only briefly napping while waiting for Sterling to show up. "But I get the feeling it's the best you'll give yourself."

He sighed. "Try to get a proper rest in there somewhere." No 'please', making it more an order than a suggestion. "I'll be heading that way myself once we're done here." He knew he needed it, but it was hard to put down a lead once you caught one.

Sterling's ears flushed slightly pink at being called out like that. He hadn't even considered how that sounded when it came out of his mouth. Of course discussing protocol over lunch wasn't a break. Wow, was he that hard wired for work he couldn't even eat lunch without bringing up work?

Man, he must have been insufferable.

He opened his mouth to speak, closed it, smiled with a guilty expression and sighed.

"You got me there, sir. I promise, scouts honor, I will squeeze an actual honest-to-God break somewhere in that chaos. You don't need to worry about me. I've got a handle on it." He hesitated a moment before admitting, "I'm doing a lot better recently."

There had been a rough few months after The Void incident. He was sure it was just white noise amongst the sea of agents suffering from their own demons due to the attack. He knew people had noticed, but no one had confronted him on it. When it finally came to a head he had to return to therapy and deal with some issues he'd never addressed before, not even to himself. It was... cathartic but exhausting. Heart breaking.

Pathetic in the grand scheme of everything Sterling had faced in recent years. So silly to think that after facing down terrorists, killer androids, murderous gods, and magic wielding enemies, the thing that had broken him worse than all of them had been a memory of his mother.

"But I really should get started on this list."

"I'd almost rather hit pavement then fall in a dumpster." Sterling signed, then went back and resigned 'almost' bigger, with wider eyes, and moving his head forward to really emphasize it. He just knew the next time they were on a roof and needed to jump off, because it was bound to happen with those two, Barton would be signing 'I told you so' for the rest of their natural lives when the dumpster option saved their lives.

She had let him finish with what information he had before making more comments.

Sterling looked surprised by the invite. Delightfully so.

"Oh, actually, that would be great. Thank you. Any opportunity to learn how to not get sucked into another dimension is welcomed." At this point, it seemed a weekly occurrence for at least one person in SHIELD a month. "I do enjoy a good work safety briefing."

"If I had a nickel for every time an operations agent told me that, while they could kill a man without breaking a sweat, paperwork was what they absolutely drew the line at, I'd be richer than a Stark." He smiled fondly, remembering the countless agents he was referencing. Once of which was right outside his office. Agent Collins was fairly new to his team but she was trained in Operations. The fact that she ended up with him was a complicated story.

"Honestly, it's flattering. It shows we all need each other. Every department has something another lacks and it's our teamwork that keeps this place running." The man was like a walking infomercial for SHIELD. Teamwork this, protocol that. He couldn't go a day without giving someone an inspirational speech.

"If you ever need help with the paperwork just call. I can do it in my sleep by now. I'm one of the few who can get Agent Barton to even touch it. I'm well versed in field reports."

Sterling had only met Valentina once but she was absolutely a force to be reckoned with from what he'd heard. Surprisingly though, he didn't even know the half of it. Still, he didn't make a habit of openly discussing too much when he felt prying eyes about.

"Every day of my life." Sterling replied to her question with such dry immediacy, not even looking sideways at her as he spoke, it was as if he had been waiting for a setup for this exact joke and had it loaded. The overly exaggerated smile though had him glancing her direction and looking away to laugh. It was like switching to a customer service voice. In that moment she reminded him of Joon.

Though Ava was much grumpier.

"I'm alive. That's a pretty big deal for me." He said, still smiling from laughing at her theatrics. "And, honestly, happy to see you're alive as well." There was a pause and a slight shift in his expression, the smile softer and now accompanied by slightly sadder eyes. "You gave me a fright when you vanished like that. But I... I understand. Better than I think you know. I'm just happy you landed on, what I hope is your feet." Sterling tilted his head curiously. "Have you?"

Marco was quiet, studying Sterling as he spoke. The way the agent his friend spoke about it -honestly and not pretending to know exactly how he was feeling- it helped. He'd never been a fan of sugar-coating things (not that his way of simply not talking about them was much better).

Tear SHIELD apart? Well maybe this one won't need to go.

"Shut up," he quietly hissed, in hopes that actually verbalising it would help quieten the voice.

He started pacing, careful to stay on the far side of the room from Sterling and the door to make sure no one got jumpy and thought he was moving to try and attack or escape. The movement helped, redirecting frustration into walking, rather than damaging any more furniture.

Your so-called 'friends' locked you up when HYDRA rose. They don't trust you.

Those 'friends' did not include Sterling.

'Do you trust me?'

Marco froze, looking back at Sterling. He'd never once treated Marco like anything other than a valued co-worker and a friend. Even when he had every right to be suspicious back when they'd both been on Bancroft's case. It was only really due to Marco's own closed-off work personality that they weren't closer.

His shoulders dropped as he let go of what little of his 'closed off and in control' work personality he had still been holding onto. What was left was an exhausted, greying man. Exhausted and scared.

A crack etched itself down Sterling's heart as he heard Marco hiss the words to his inner voice. It had been a couple of years since he himself had to do the same to Merc. Quiet the voices as best he could by pressing his hand against his temple, try to ignore them but end up verbally insisting they stop to try and clear his mind.

It rarely worked. Often Merc got louder for the audacity of it.

To counter his more restless energy, Sterling sat in one of the chairs he had fixed earlier. He wanted to show Marco he trusted him by remaining relaxed and calm. He turned to watch the man as he paced, he wasn't foolish enough to look away, but he knew his friend had this even if he doubted himself.

I trust you.

"We're going to get through this. You're not alone in this. You never have to be again."

"She's only one of the best figure skaters alive. She did a backflip in the 1998 Olympics in Nagano. She landed cleanly on one blade during her free skate. It's awesomeness I've been trying my whole life to aspire to."

"That... sounds terrifying. The fact that she landed it, much less attempted it... Incredible." He seemed genuinely blown away by that description of her stunt. He couldn't even imagine trying that on skates, much less with literal blades attached to his feet. He could barely imagine that with shoes.

"Compete? Oh, no. Of course not. I just worked at a rink and skated a lot. My sister competes. I don't play roller derby. I just... enforce rules. I'm good at that."

As she announced that they were almost to their destination, Sterling's shoulders dropped ever so slightly. He had been enjoying this conversation. So much so he had almost forgotten he was there to work. She was a sweet girl. His sister would probably love her.

Perhaps he could arrange some sort of meeting. She needed more friends.

"Ah yes. Thank you. It was very kind of you to give me a personal escort. I'm quite flattered."

"Trouble?" Lilia repeated, giving a snort of a laugh at the question before pausing, momentarily debating what to share, and how to do it. "Well, I'm still alive which is more than I expected a week ago, so.." She gave a shrug. "We'll say I'm doing good."

"Alive does often land on the side of good." He grinned at his friend. "You seem well. I'm glad to see it. For the future, if you're ever in any danger or need assistance you can always call upon me. Not that... there's anything you couldn't handle that I could. Sometimes though, it's better to not do so alone."

Melody visibly relaxed at his assurance and nodded, but the warning still stood. SHIELD was a government agency, after all, and no government agency was harmless. Nor could any of them ever be fully trusted. Any and all of them could and would turn against the citizens they were sworn to protect under the right circumstances.

She nodded and slid the pack of clove cigarettes back into her jacket. “She won’t assume you’ve had one because of the smell from mine?” Sterling wasn’t a bad guy, as far as government agents went, and she didn’t want to get him in trouble with his wife.

“I’ll never offer again,” she promised with a faint smile.

Rats.

Well, he'd seen weirder. This shouldn't surprise him at this point. He nodded, an intrigued expression on his face. "Thanks for the heads up. I'll make sure anyone who approaches will be informed of that. I don't want anyone pissing her off by messing with them if they're startled by them." He could absolutely see Agent Collins attempting to punt one across the room.

"She knows when I'm telling the truth about it. If I say I didn't have one, she believes me. If I lie, well, that's another story." He chuckled softly. Sterling had several coworkers who smoked. Pen and Mason were the ones he visited most frequently during their little breaks on the roof. "Smoke without guilt. You need not worry about me and my marriage."

Sterling looked down, chuckling softly to himself as he slicked his hair back by racking a hand through it, before her question met his ears. "Nothing to worry about. For any of you. We were just trying to find witnesses to gather more intel. No one in your building is in any danger, I assure you. However, I cannot give you more information than that, unfortunately." He offered an apologetic smile, knowing most people don't like hearing that they have to be left in the dark on things.

Coming to a halt there is another prolonged moment, of calculation and assessment, a deep inhale causing broad chest to expand. One could not learn without trying, and one could not become better without challenges.

' You can rest assured no killing will transpire on this day, Sterling.'

For now there are no elements responding, no blinding light rising to the surface of bronzed skin or cerulean eyes in forked and erratic flickers. Fingers curl into flesh-made mallets, swaying ever so slightly before the god's stance shifts into familiar pose, the predecessor of a far more violent motion.

No killing.

That was good.

Still, he could tell this was going to hurt. Then again, Sterling learned much more from failure than success. He was... quite familiar with the learning process of failure. The fact that Sterling hadn't been killed yet was, honestly, a miracle, and at this point it felt as though he was constantly trying to correct that issue by volunteering for stupid shit like this.

He was far too squishy and mortal to fight a god. Yet he'd done it. Several times. Why on earth was he still alive? How?

As Thor stepped forward, Sterling tried not to flinch. He did anyway, moving his body just an inch in reverse to brace for impact. His stance deepened and he held the shield up to protect his face and body. Yet, his eyes dark brown remained open, soaking in the intel this would provide. Would his shield crack under the pressure? Would he fly backwards off his feet? Would he hold his own against the hit? He had to test his limits just as Thor was testing his.

Felicia tried to keep a straight face. In the end, she let out the breath she was holding. “It’s not like it’s that big a deal. The museum isn’t even missing those pieces. And I haven’t technically been caught.”

Technically she was also supposed to be on her best behavior if she was going to be helping SHIELD. But sometimes a girl just had to break through security to get a valuable prize.

Haven't technically been caught?

"What do you think this is?" Sterling asked, tilting his head and raising an eyebrow like a stern father. "We're spies, Hardy. We find shit out. I'm not going to make a big deal of it. I'm not going to report it. Just put it back."

It was easier to deal with Felicia to offer her an out first. She would protest but most of the time she relented. He hoped this was one of those times. He'd never personally been on the other end of a refusal with her. They had a good standing and he didn't want to shake that too much. Impulses be damned, that certainly wasn't her best behavior.

It wasn't uncommon for Phee to be this prickly with him, but it wasn't exactly normal either. Especially in recent months. They'd developed a groove, a rapport, and he had thought these more evasive tones were behind them. Well, at least until she hit her teen years.

"I suppose basic necessities like water are the least I could provide you as your caregiver." Sterling joked dryly, rubbing his eyes and yawning. "Don't let me interrupt you then." He leaned over the papers he'd just gathered and placed on the coffee table, but he began shuffling them awkwardly, clearly just trying to look busy. He was thankful for Phee's sudden appearance. If she hadn't been there he might have been locked in that nightmare long after he'd been awakened. Now he was forced to focus on someone else and push his own dark thoughts aside.

It was one of the many unhealthy ways he coped with them.

"Are you ok?" He asked again, not looking up. His voice was softer this time.

The weight of his words seem to settle just so for Sterling and just as suddenly he hopes he isn't darkening the man's day. Watching the little things is more than enough warning to inform him he's ruining it far too early. A dark chuckle bubbles up past his slowly swelling anxiety.

He can hear the man's voice through the hammering of his heart, the concern means a lot and is equally embarrassing to behold like this. Logan focuses on the solid, steadfast hands on his shoulders, his hands flattening on the countertop hidden from view of patrons. Deep breaths, deep, listening to those words. Ground. Come to ground.

"I feel...the countertop. I smell coffee and pastries." He murmurs, the smartwatch on his wrist cataloguing this near panic attack with a soft glow. "I'm safe." A whisper as eyes open and he gazes at Sterling with a volatile mixture of confusion and awe.

How could he not know?

This was more than a normal interaction for Sterling. It was a workplace hazard, inevitability, he had been on the other end of many times. Like Logan, he'd found himself embarrassed at the thought that someone else was seeing him so vulnerable. Sterling was a hypocrite about it more often than not. He would comfort his fellow agents, ease them through the panic and telling them that it was normal and ok to feel their feelings while kicking his own self for feeling weak under the care of another.

For Sterling, this wasn't new. It wasn't a burden. It wasn't a gloom in his morning. It was a friend needing comfort he was more than willing to give.

"Of course." Sterling whispered softly, not taking his hand off Logan until he was sure he was stable on his feet. "I've got time. Please. Please sit. I'm here."

There was no such thing as normal for Sterling. Everyone around him was equally broken. They were all just trying to live their lives while the world crumbled around them and their own hearts turned to sand. Sterling lamented the discovery that yet another person in his life carried such fear and trauma inside him but he didn't shy away from it. He navigated that turbulent sea the same way he always did.

This was normal for him, but goddamnit, it shouldn't be.

"My apartment is beautiful," he signed. "Practically spotless."

"Your apartment is great. I meant the literal dumpsters you're falling into constantly." He signed, doing a long falling motion with his hand into his other hand which clearly represented one of the many New York dumpsters Clint had come crawling out of over the years.

It may have been better than hitting pavement, but Sterling wasn't sure which he would rather for himself.

She had looked through the file as he spoke. "If separating them was an option it risks potential new partners for them getting bad luck thats equally as bad. Having potentially four agents be at risk because of the luck of two other agents would cause bigger problems."

"You're not wrong. That town has had the Unnaturals department on speed dial for years."

Sterling couldn't tell if Hill was joking dryly back at him or if she had taken his suggestion to separate them seriously. He was never able to tell if Hill was joking or not, even after years in her service, and at this point he was too afraid to ask.

"Agent Morgan has a theory on how we could extract them safely but I'm not well versed enough in that area to weigh in. I'm sure she'll go over it with you at the meeting. To be honest, I'm glad no one was possessed yet. Again."

Aimee made a face at his words, disappointed in the way it seemed to imply their reunion would be short lived. She did not shy away from the head kiss, however. She actually shot a look to Sterling, beaming at clearly being the favorite.

Sterling lifted the drinks into the air to allow Lukas access to his middle for the hug, chuckling in amusement at the two of them and their playfulness.

"Are you leaving? Can we buy you a drink or something?" Sterling offered, ignoring the thanks as they were completely unnecessary to him.

"Yeah, when are you going back to boring school?" Abby added, jokingly using 'boring' instead of 'boarding' to lighten the mood from the sappy direction it was taking. The girl couldn't stand serious moments.