Stormy eyes narrowed ever so slightly in thought, brows pulling together as she mulled over his words. Did she have a mental block preventing her from breathing fire in her current form? If she was somehow able to remove the block, would she stop smoking like a chimney? That would be nice and she hums in thought.
Too bad she hasn’t got a clue how she might go about removing the mental block. Plus, it’s just a theory with no real way to prove it, right?
“Well… if that’s the case, I haven’t got a clue how to test your theory or solve it,” she shrugs slim shoulders.
His questions coupled with his final statement are surprising and not in the same breath. She knows she has no business being a hero; it was a foolish daydream that was fleeting at best.
“Because that’s what society expects,” she admits with a face that clearly says she isn’t so sure she agrees with that sentiment. “Or it feels like that’s what is expected,” she continues, avoiding his gaze as her hands slide into her pockets. She’s a grown woman, but for a moment feels like a teenager again; uneasy and unsure about everything.
“I’ve tired existing and I was miserable… I was existing before Ororo and… I thought I was like her and the others at the school, but I’ve spent my entire life trying to live as a human because it’s safer that way. The amount of people like us… them,” she corrects, but then doubts herself. Is she really all that different from a mutant? She’s just something else, but Earth is still her home and where she was born.
“People with extraordinary abilities go missing all the time. Some say they are snatched up and used in government experiments for new weapons. Some say they are made into the weapons… I’m sure there’s some truth to all of it. Who the hell wouldn’t want a fucking dragon at their disposal for wars,” she is babbling now, having not really answered his questions.
She pauses, catching herself before she can continue and spiral down a rabbit hole that has caused many sleepless nights.
“I don’t know how to exist as myself… I know how to pretend I’m not me. I fit in with the scene crowd pretty easily,” because her natural blue hair was easy to hide if she dressed the part to make it appear dyed. “I’ve smiled and laughed more in the time I’ve known you than I have my entire life,” which is a sad admission. “Existing just feels… unnatural so… maybe I should do something else?” And now she finally looks at him again, as unsure as ever.
