literally malcolm

“Oh my God, re-lax! Each bed is a queen, and there’s a pullout couch in the living room. So, I think…” Jackie trailed off, inching towards Kelso until she was latched around his arm. “Michael and I take one room, Donna and Eric take a room, and…” Jackie looked at you, Hyde, and Fez, who were all staring at her expectantly. “You guys can figure the rest out. Come on!”

With that, Jackie pulled Kelso towards a hallway, beckoning Donna to do the same with Eric. When it was just you and the two boys left, you turned to them.

“I call dibs on the room.” You said quickly, turning to where the rest of your friends had gone. “You guys can decide who gets the couch.” Then you sped off to find your room.

Luckily, Jackie seemed to have been waiting for you, keeping her head poked out into the hall. When she saw you, she grinned and pointed to the door across hers.

When you walked in, you mentally patted yourself on the back for racing to the room. Although it was more rustic than the Burkharts’ usual extravagance, it was still way nicer than what you and your friends were used to. 

The bed was buried under fluffy blankets and mountains of pillows, with matching nightstands and lamps on either side. On the left was a dresser and vanity, both with more drawers than you knew what to do with. On the right was a desk and some doors that led to a small balcony.

You were unpacking when the door creaked open. Hyde came through, closing the door behind him and dropping his bag on the floor.

“That was quick.” You commented after looking at the alarm clock on the nightstand. “Did you and Fez actually talk, or did you just punch him in the arm until he said you could have the room?”

“The way I got the room doesn’t matter. What matters is that I got the room.”

You continued to unpack. Meanwhile, Hyde flopped onto what was clearly now his side of the bed, flicking his lighter on and off in boredom.

“You better not smoke in here.” You muttered, although you didn’t really sound like you’d stop him if he did. “Jackie’ll kill you.”

Hyde snorted at the thought. “Oh, yeah. She’ll get Kelso to pick her up so she can reach my neck.”

“Ha ha.” You said sarcastically, walking to the balcony doors that were framed by curtains. “We’ll make this the smoke spot.” You opened the doors, and the view made Hyde agree instantly. Your room had a perfect overview of the lake, which seemed to stretch on forever. The balcony wasn’t very large, just enough for a few people to stand together.

Hyde sat up and peered at you mischievously over his sunglasses. “What do you say we make it official?” A flame emerged from his lighter, and you knew what he was insinuating. Before you could answer, the door burst open.

“Ah! Kelso, what the hell?!”

“What?” The man in question looked surprised, like he hadn’t just barged into your room unannounced. You and Hyde rolled your eyes. “Jackie told me to tell you guys that we’re gonna go in the lake. Last one there’s a rotten egg!” Kelso ran out of the room, knocking his shoulder into the doorframe. “Ow!”

You shook your head and laughed before going into the dresser drawer you had just filled to grab your swimsuit.

“I guess I’ll see you down there.”

You turned around to respond to Hyde, but lost words at the sight in front of you. Rarely did you ever see Hyde with his shirt off, especially with him acting so casually about it. Your eyes widened when you saw his hands reach to mess with the zipper on his jeans. It was then that he decided you had been quiet for too long and looked up. Seeing you were staring back at him, he grinned smugly.

“Waiting for me to take my pants off, L/n?” Your mouth opened without an answer, and Hyde clicked his tongue in faux disappointment. “I’m not a piece of meat.”

“Hyde.”

“You should at least buy me dinner first.” He was now by the door, a pair of swim trunks and a little brown paper bag in hand. “I’ll see you down there.”

***

An hour later, you were sunbathing on the dock with the girls. From a couple yards away, you had been watching the boys play around in the lake. You all couldn’t help but giggle when watching Kelso and Hyde swing Fez back and forth to throw him farther into the water, or seeing the boys sneak up on and attempt to dunk each other. But eventually, you, Jackie, and Donna lay back to soak up the sun.

The sound of wet feet stepping on the dock caught your attention, and you turned your head toward the speed walker.

“Hey,” Eric sounded out of breath, waving his hand limply to you and Jackie in greeting while making his way to Donna. In his usual dramatic fashion, Eric all but collapsed next to her, giving her a kiss before he lay down to rest.

The footsteps didn’t end with Eric. They eventually slowed to a stop, and you could smell something burning. “Hey, Y/n.” You opened your eyes, squinting as they adjusted to the bright sun. Hyde held a smoking joint towards you, waving it around as if to entice you. “Want some?”

Grinning in delight, you reached out and carefully took the lit object from him. “Why, thank you.” You said before taking a slow inhale. Eric’s hand quickly appeared in front of you, ready to take the joint as soon as you were done. You laughed at his eagerness, taking another hit before passing it off. Jackie, who was between the two of you, grimaced.

“Ugh, that smells so gross.” She scrunched her nose. “You are not smoking that on my dock.”

“Yes, Your Majesty.” Hyde plucked the joint out of Eric’s hand and jerked his head towards the manmade path to the lake. “Y/n, wanna come?”

You practically floated out of your chair and close to Hyde’s side. The weed was already hitting you, relaxing you to where you started leaning against your friend for support as you walked down to the water. Luckily, Hyde didn’t seem to mind, which was surprising considering he wasn’t one to be touchy.

Once you reached the water, Hyde surprised you further by grabbing your hand. He started guiding you along the water, getting farther from your friends in the lake and the view of your friends on the dock.

Eventually, you stopped at a large rock just a few feet away in the water. You yelped as you stepped in, not expecting the water’s sudden chill. You and Hyde sat shoulder to shoulder, looking at the expansive lake.

“Damn.” Hearing the man sigh, you looked over to see what was the matter. He now held a filter tip with a slightly burned end. “All gone.” Then he flicked it into the water before pulling a fresh joint from behind his ear, as if it were a pencil. How you failed to notice it until now, you’re not sure. Maybe his curly locks had been concealing it. 

“Here.”

Blinking back to reality, you realized Hyde was holding the joint to your mouth, waiting for you to accept it. You did so, feeling your cheeks heat up. But instead of grabbing it like you normally would, you simply leaned forward to wrap your lips around the filter.

Hyde smirked, like that was his expected result. He pulled a lighter out from the other side of his head (what else could be hiding up there?) and flicked it on.

The earth stilled as the flame moved closer, with you and Hyde refusing to look away from each other. Carefully lighting the end, Hyde watched you slowly inhale. Your eyelids fluttered shut as the taste hit you, much more intense since the bud was actively burning. It wasn’t long before you were coughing and sputtering., handing the lit object to your friend.

Hyde handled his hit better, still coughing a small bit but doing a good job at pushing it down. Sensing you’d be good for a while, he hit the joint again.

Your eyes were glued to his lips, no matter how much you were yelling at yourself to look away. The filter had the faintest mark of your pink glittery lip gloss, which you then found on Hyde’s mouth when he took the joint away.

“You want it?”

Hyde’s voice brought you to reality, where he was trying to hand you the joint because he thought you were drooling over it. God, you had to get a hold of yourself.

You grabbed the object, reveling in the few seconds where your fingers were touching. “Thanks.”

***

Hours later, the group was dry and warm in the living room. The boys had gone to the nearest town, about twenty minutes away, to pick up pizza and drinks for dinner, because there was no way any of you were cooking tonight, even if it was just hot dogs over a fire. While awaiting their arrival, you and the girls flipped through the channels on TV to find something to watch.

In front of the Burkharts’ TV was a low and round coffee table, which was currently covered in semi-empty pizza boxes. Surrounded by the table were three loveseats. On the one in front of the backyard patio, Kelso was demolishing his fifth slice while Jackie fussed over his hair. Eric and Donna, on the center couch, leaned against each other as they ate. And you were able to get the one across from Jackie all to yourself, taking advantage of the space by laying across it, resting your head on the single armrest that allowed you to enjoy the hijinks of the Mystery Gang.

But you didn’t get to enjoy the solitude for long.

“Can I sit?”

You didn’t have to look to see it was Hyde asking, standing behind the back of the seat while pointing to the foot-end of it with his chilled can of beer. You gave a hum of approval, and Hyde was quick to sit down. Instead of giving you the opportunity to make room for him, he lifted your feet with his free hand and placed them back down in his lap after he was settled. You reached down to the floor for your soda, using the drink to distract yourself from how your heart started to race.

It was sometime past midnight when everyone started heading to bed; your mind was too occupied to really know. Hyde had been absentmindedly holding you for hours. When his drink was gone, he started using your legs as a place to rest his arms. Whenever a theme song or commercial jingle played, he tapped along to the tune on your shins. Maybe you were just imagining it, but every time you moved to grab something from the floor or table, he’d grip your leg just enough for you to notice. As if he were making sure you wouldn’t roll off the couch.

You felt a squeeze again, this one more deliberate. You looked over to see Hyde already looking at you.

He jerked his head towards the hall. “Wanna go to the room?”

You would’ve been embarrassed by how quick you were to stand if you weren’t so giddy. You were about to share a bed with your friend who was inexplicably becoming more attractive to you by the minute.

You both said goodnight to Fez, who had made himself quite comfortable under a bundle of blankets with an insane stash of candy. Hyde let you lead the way down to your shared room. It puts you a bit on edge, and you hoped hours of lying on the couch didn’t make the back of your hair too much of a mess.

The door closed behind Hyde, making you freeze. What now?

“So…” Hyde started after a beat of silence, “Are you tired?”

“Not really.” You answered, looking at him just to see he was already watching you. “You?”

He shook his head, and a mischievous smile soon emerged. Hyde flicked his head towards the balcony doors behind you. He dug around in his pocket for a moment before bringing out his lighter and flicking it on. “Wanna make it official now?”

You couldn’t help but blush. Luckily, it wasn’t noticeable in the dark. You waited, as if someone was going to barge in and interrupt like earlier today.

But it was just you and Hyde, who was waiting for an answer.

“Sure.”

It was a warm summer night, which you appreciated since you were wearing shorts and a loose shirt. The moonlight barely illuminated the view of the lake, but it was still beautiful.

“Ladies first.” Hyde said, handing you the joint he had just finished rolling. Letting out a satisfied hum, you plucked it out of his fingers and popped the filtered end into your mouth. Like at the lake, Hyde lit the joint for you, but you were better at not coughing this time.

“Nice job.” He commented as he took the smoking object, taking a long drag.

Having Hyde’s eyes glued on you made you more lightheaded than the weed, so you let him hog it. A part of you liked watching him, doing what he did best. What differed from all the other times, though, was that his sunglasses were gone and he was in his pajamas, gray sweatpants and a white tank top. Somehow it was even hotter than seeing him drenched in just shorts. Maybe because now he seemed so relaxed.

“You want it?” You saw his lips move to say, and it was then you realized you had been staring at his mouth and were practically drooling over him. He was presumably talking about the joint, but you knew you wanted him more.

Then you looked into his eyes. Behind those heavy lids and glassy blue orbs, he was staring back down at you with hunger and want. Like he could read your dirty thoughts and was thinking the same things.

You nodded slowly, not knowing what you were about to get.

Hyde brought the joint back to his own mouth to smoke. What a tease, you thought.

Or maybe not, because soon after, he grabbed your chin with his free hand to guide your lips to his. His fingertips pushed against your cheeks to keep your mouth open, and you started tasting the smoke that he had inhaled. You breathed in and exhaled through your nose, ignoring the way it burned your nostrils by focusing on how soft Hyde’s lips were against yours.

Hyde’s hand moved into your hair, pushing you further into the kiss. He set the joint down on the railing so he could grab your waist. It soon became a frenzy of lips, tongues, and wandering hands. It took everything in you to keep yourself up, but once Hyde touched your pebbled nipples and you could feel his hard-on through his sweats, you were quick to pull him towards the bed.

The morning after would be filled with looks and jabs from your friends, who could probably hear your activities. But for now, it was just you and Hyde under the sheets. Not quite how you imagined sharing the bed with him this weekend, but you hoped it was how you’d spend every weekend in the future.

***

“Hey, so I actually can’t study after school because I have something to do. But don’t worry, I’m just gonna do the assignment by myself.”

Still refusing to look at you, Blake turned around and all but sprinted away. You watched him leave in confusion, trying to come up with an explanation for whatever his problem was. “Okay…?” When he was out of sight, you turned back to your lunch.

You did your best to shake off the interaction and continue eating, but you were once again interrupted.

“Hey, Y/n!” Reese’s demeanor seemed to be the complete opposite of Blake’s. His pearly whites nearly blinded you with how wide his smile was. He settled into the seat next to yours.

“Hey, Reese.” You replied, visibly suspicious of his behavior. “You’re awfully cheery.”

Reese shrugged innocently. “Just a nice day, that’s all. You should be enjoying it.”

You let out a light laugh. “Yeah, well, I was, until Blake came up to me and started acting… weird.”

Suddenly, Reese seemed very interested in the conversation, turning his whole body to face you.

“Weird how?”

“I dunno, it was like he did a whole one-eighty on me. We were getting lunch and talking about homework, and he seemed happy when I offered to help him. But just now, he came over looking like he saw a ghost and called off the study session.”

“Huh.” Reese didn’t look too surprised hearing about the switch up. If anything, you could’ve sworn he smirked. “Yeah, weird.”

“What’s that look?” You asked urgently, pointing at the face in question. He tried to turn away, but you were too quick, yanking Reese towards you by the collar of his shirt. “Reese, what did you do?”

“Nothing!” He said it too defensively for you to believe him.

You narrowed your eyes. “You taught me how to throw a punch, Reese. Don’t make me do it.”

Reese’s eyes widened at the thought, raising his hands in surrender. “Geez! Fine.” He wriggled out of your grip, putting some distance between you in case you were serious about your threats. “I may have… suggested that Blake find someone else to study with.”

You stared at him for a moment. “Suggested? Or threatened?”

He scoffed in offense. “Since when do I threaten people?”

“Why would you do that?” You asked, beyond confused. “What could you possibly have to gain from that?”

Reese was silent, looking away in shame. He never thought that you would be upset about his driving guys away. After all, what did they have that he didn’t?

But seeing the disappointment on your face made him start to feel remorseful.

“Well?” You looked at him expectantly. “I want an answer, Reese.”

It took him a while to give one. “I guess…” He sighed, unable to find a good excuse for his actions. Now he had to resort to the truth. “I didn’t want to see other guys around you because… I like you.”

You couldn’t help but laugh. Only Reese would have that line of thinking. “So, instead of just telling me you liked me, you decided it was easier to just beat every guy who has some kind of interest in me?” Reese hummed lowly in thought, before giving you an approving nod. “Reese, you’re ridiculous! You know you could’ve just asked me out, right?”

“I could’ve?”

***

Malcolm in the Middle Taglist: @rattilol @satans-bitch

You were likely sat next to him bc the teacher thought you’d help him behave

He was distracting others and falling behind the class

You were known to be nice and had decent grades

So obviously, your teacher thought it was a good match

They were right, but not in the way they were probably expecting

As soon as Reese had sensed your presence inching closer to him, he looked to see who was trying to sit at the desk next to his and immediately became enamoured. 

“Hi.” You greeted sweetly as you put your backpack on the desk and settled in your seat.

Reese, staring at you dazed, answered in a tone that somehow sounded both questioning and delighted. “Uh… Hey?” 

You giggled, and the sound was so contagious that Reese laughed lightly along despite not knowing what was funny. You stuck your hand out, and Reese instinctively grasped it to shake, holding your hand a lot more gently than he usually would for a handshake.

“I’m Y/n.” You finally say. “The teacher sat me here, hope that’s okay.”

With a dumb, goofy grin, Reese slowly let go of your hand to rest his chin in his own. He watched you unpack your bag, completely neglecting the fact that he should also pull out his homework for the teacher to collect. But then again, it wouldn’t make much of a difference considering he didn’t do the homework in the first place.

“Yeah, yeah, totally.”

It was safe to say that Reese was obsessed with you

A cute girl who was nice to him and didn’t think he was a creep??

Call Lois, he’s hearing wedding bells

You quickly start hanging out outside of class, much to his surprise

You were so different, it made no sense to him why you wanted to be around him

It didn’t seem to make sense to anyone

Dewey and Malcolm had been watching you for an hour now, not that you or Reese seemed to notice. Too busy watching the movie you rented, you didn’t feel their stares of confusion and wonder.

“This is the third time she’s been over this week.” Dewey noted, watching the two of you laugh at something on screen. When Reese let out some giggles that most people would consider strange or creepy in a way, you just giggled along. “Do you think he’s paying her or something?”

“No.” Malcolm shook his head definitively. “I see them together at school all the time. Reese is whipped for her, but I have no idea what she sees in him.”

“They’re almost…” Dewey trailed off, grimacing at what he was about to say about his brother and his new friend. “Cute…?” Malcolm scrunched his nose but didn’t respond.

It wasn’t long before Reese decided he was basically in love with you

To be fair, it never took long for a Wilkerson boy

But the realization terrified him

Reese considered it a miracle that you wanted to be his friend, he didn’t want to scare you off with the romantic insanity his hormones would likely cause

But it’s not like he could stay away from you

He just had to keep himself in check

“What are you staring at?” There wasn’t any uneasiness in your tone, which is usually what Reese hears when a pretty girl says that to him. If anything, you seemed delighted with his eyes on you.

“Nothing.” He answered, not bothering to look away from you.

You were in the Wilkersons’ backyard studying. Yes, you somehow got Reese Wilkerson, notorious for failing and skipping school and avoiding responsibility any way you could, to crack open a book and study with you. That didn’t mean he was doing a good job at it though. Every time he tried to read, his eyes trailed away to you.

Reese was known to not be very attentive. But when it came to you, he noticed every little thing. You always mouthed what you were writing in your notebook or worksheets. When reading, you’d fiddle with your pen unless you came across something interesting. Every time you paused to think, you subconsciously nibbled on your bottom lip.

God, your lips. You were wearing a lip gloss that made your lips pink, plump, and sparkle. Now occupied with other thoughts, Reese’s eyes started drifting down. He knew he shouldn’t be looking at a friend this way, especially one who was so sweet and good to him. But looking the way you do and acting the way you did seemed to glue his eyes to you.

You startled Reese out of his thoughts by dropping your pen. “Okay, really. What is it?” You luckily didn’t sound irritated, more curious.

“Nothing!” Reese tried to double down, but one raised eyebrow and a teasing smile from you broke him easily. “You just… look really pretty today.” He quickly became shy from his confession, forcing himself to look down at his book. “That’s all.”

“Awe.” Nudging his leg with your foot got Reese to look up at you. “You’re sweet, Reese.”

It was only a matter of time before Reese decided he wanted to tell you about his feelings

He was terrified that you wouldn’t want to be his friend anymore, but then he figured you wouldn’t just drop him

Wanting to be somewhere familiar and private, Reese invited you over and took you to the living room

His parents were at work, Malcolm and Dewey were doing something he couldn’t care less about, and Jamie was at the babysitter’s

Reese was deliberately stalling. He put on a movie, figuring he’d gain the courage to speak somewhere in the middle of it. Instead, you were now watching a second movie, and he hadn’t said a word of what he wanted to say. He mentally kicked himself for being such a coward.

Reese was so focused on his confession, or lack thereof, that he didn’t notice the movie was paused. Feeling a hand on his knee, Reese looked up to see you looking back at him with a serious expression.

“Reese, I can’t do this anymore.” Before the panic that sentence induced fully set in, you scooted closer to Reese. “I have to tell you something.”

Reese’s mouth dropped open, but no words came out. With fearful curiosity, he slowly nodded and eventually forced out an “okay.”

“I really like you.” You said bluntly, so casually as if Reese wasn’t sweating bullets from the thought of saying what you just said. “I totally got it if you want to just stay friends, but I just needed you to know.” The stunned stare and silence from Reese were not comforting signs, so you reached for the remote to break the silence. “So… yeah.”

It wasn’t until you were settled on the couch again that Reese finally reacted. Overcome with excitement, he tackled you down onto the sofa in a hug. When he pulled away so you were face to face, he was grinning down at you. You couldn’t help but giggle in relief that your feelings were reciprocated.

“Awesome.” was all Reese said before he leaned down to kiss you, which you eagerly accepted.

***

Malcolm in the Middle Taglist: @rattilol @satans-bitch

“It won’t be that bad, Reese.” You tried to reassure him, reaching a hand out to grab his shirt and tug him to lay down with you. “We can call and try to have weekend visits. The time will fly by before you know it.”

Sighing, Reese laid on his back next to you. “I guess.” He looked at you, taking his shirt out of your grip so he could hold your hand. “But I’m gonna miss you.”

You cooed at your boyfriend, making him feel embarrassed. “Aw, I’m gonna miss you too. But let’s not think about that.” You scooted around until you were laying on the bed properly, Reese following suit. “This is my last night in town, we should enjoy it.”

Deciding not to protest, Reese opened his arms for you to lay on his chest, which you did with a smile. Once you settled, Reese put his arms around you to keep you close.

It was easy to fall into a state of relaxation and almost dead asleep. Reese was so warm and gentle, stroking your hair as he stared at the ceiling.

You were just on the cusp of sleep when Reese spoke suddenly. “What if, when you get to college, you have such a good time and realize that-” He abruptly cut himself off, clearing his throat to try to distract you from the way his voice began to wobble.

When his silence became too long for your liking, you picked your head up and stared at him, concern and confusion clear on your face.

“Realize what, Reese?”

A beat of silence.

“What if you realize you can do so much better than me?” You were stunned into silence, which unfortunately allowed Reese to continue. “Like… You’re gonna go and meet cool people and do cool things and I’m just gonna be stuck here. Then you’ll realize how boring and uncool I am and break up with me.”

“Reese, don’t say that.”

“I’m just saying.” He sighed. “You deserve someone with more to offer.”

Without breaking eye contact, you shifted yourself to straddle Reese’s hips, steadying yourself by planting your hands on his chest. Despite his low mood, his hands found your hips like a magnet, his grip light enough to allow you control but firm enough to keep you from going too far.

He started to squirm under your intense gaze, with nowhere to hide. Carefully, you lowered yourself until your chests were pressed together and the tips of your noses were almost touching.

“That’s not gonna happen.”

“Y/n,-”

“Reese.” The intensity in your tone silenced him. “That won’t happen. I love you too much for it to happen. If you think I’m shallow enough to leave you for being uncool, don’t you think I would’ve been long gone by now?”

Not wanting to give Reese a chance to argue, you pressed your lips to his. He froze, but the shock quickly wore off. Reese’s hands released your hips to wrap around your torso, trying to keep you as close to him as possible. Meanwhile, you petted and pulled at his hair with one hand while the other kept you from completely falling onto Reese.

Reese’s roaming hands sent electricity shooting down your spine, and you involuntarily rutted against him. Reese moaned into you mouth, jerking his hips up in response. You shivered at the sudden need flooding through you.

It wasn’t long before both of your pants were gone, Reese’s boxers were around his ankles, and the seat of your soaked panties were yanked to the side. You smiled down fondly on your boyfriend, who was whimpering in frustration as you teasingly grinded on his cock.

“I want you to say it, Reese.” You said sweetly but firmly. “Say it. I’m all yours, I only take your cock.”

Reese groaned, thrusting up roughly as your words spurred him on. “You’re all mine. You only take my cock.” He reached a hand out to cup the back of your neck, forcing your head down until your lips met.

When he released you for a quick breath, you grinned down at him.

“No one can replace your cock.” You said lowly, leaning down until your lips ghosted over Reese’s. “Say it.”

You could feel him get harder against you. “No one can replace my cock.”

Deciding to finally give him some mercy, you lifted your hips and reached down to grip his throbbing cock. When you guided his tip to your entrance, Reese jerked his hips up in desperation. Getting the message, you lined him up and slowly sank down, moaning at the intrusion.

“God, I’m gonna miss this.” Reese groaned as he grabbed your hips and pulled you down, trying to bury himself as deep inside of you as possible. You squirmed, unable to escape the intense arousal no matter which way you moved. “You feel so good, baby.”

You didn’t know how much time had passed before you and Reese finally decided to rest. But seeing the sky start to lighten the tiniest bit made you glad your friend was driving. Whether t was recklessness or an act of love, you slept on top of Reese to keep him inside of you, and consequentially keeping his seep inside you.

When the two of you eventually had to get up, you took your time getting ready. Reese made breakfast for the two of you and packed a lunch in case you got hungry on your drive. You made small talk on the couch until your friend came, and Reese hugged you extra tight after putting the last of your stuff in the trunk.

After what felt like forever, you wriggled out of his arms, and it was then that you realized your boyfriend could barely hold back his tears. You frowned with guilt, and Reese sniffled before smiling down at you, trying to lighten the mood.

“Don’t forget about me, okay?” He joked, and you rolled your eyes.

“That’d be impossible.”

***

Malcolm in the Middle Taglist: @rattilol @satans-bitch

In all honesty, you didn’t mind having Greg and Rowley around. But you wouldn’t tell Rodrick; the last thing you wanted was for him to get pouty.

You managed to reach your and Rodrick’s go-to gas station with relative ease. Rodrick and Greg occasionally bickered, while you and Rowley tried to rein in your respective Heffley boy.

“Okay, okay, okay!” You pushed your boyfriend, who was getting into a silly slap fight with his brother, who had made the mistake of playing with one of Rodrick’s spare drums that was rolling around in the back. “Both of you behave, or you won’t get any candy.” It was an empty threat, but the boys took it as seriously as the plague.

Greg and Rowley bounded towards the gas station before you even set a foot on the ground. You snorted at their enthusiasm, watching them race inside as you waited for your boyfriend to lock up the van.

“What’s so funny?” Rodrick asked as he pocketed his key and grabbed your hand, gently tugging you to the shop.

“Your brother.”

The boys were easy to spot in the candy aisle thanks to Rowley’s bright ginger hair. They seemed to be in a serious debate about what to get, but you didn’t catch much of it as Rodrick was quickly leading you to the slushie machine.

“What flavor do you want?” Your boyfriend asked, finally releasing your hand to grab two large cups as he waited for your answer. After doing a quick scan of the options, you settled for cherry. After filling and lidding your cup, Rodrick handed you your drink to pour himself some blue raspberry.

On the way to the cashier, you stepped away to grab a chocolate bar. After paying for your things, Rodrick was quick to get out. “We’ll be outside, dweebs!” He shouted to the boys as he practically dragged you out of the store.

You couldn’t help but glance back inside before looking at Rodrick in slight bewilderment. “They have money, right?”

“I dunno.”

“Rodrick.”

“Ugh, who cares?” It was only then that you had realized where Rodrick was guiding you, around to the side of the gas station. “Greg takes forever picking stuff out, but who knows how long we have?”

You quickly changed your tune, now more than happy to have abandoned the boys, when Rodrick pushed you against the brick wall and leaned down to kiss you. His free hand held your face, keeping you close to him so he could slip his tongue in your mouth. You indulged him for a few seconds before pulling your head back.

“Needy much?” You teased, taking a long sip of your slushie.

“Uh, yeah. Duh.” After some shared laughs, you focused on your drinks and catching up. Although you definitely weren’t opposed to pausing every so often to kiss Rodrick. But it quickly spiraled into heavy making out, setting your drinks on a nearby box to run your hands all over each other. It had been quite a while since you and Rodrick had enough alone time to maul each other, so you took advantage of every moment.

“Yuck!”

You whipped around towards the source of the noise to see Greg and Rowley, who were wearing disgusted and bashful expressions respectively. Your cheeks were red hot as you pushed Rodrick off of you, who seemed more annoyed to be interrupted than anything else.

“Rodrick, why was your tongue in her mouth?” 

“Go to the van!” Rodrick shouted, taking a few quick steps forward to scare off the boys. The middle schoolers were gone in a second, trying not to drop their things as they ran. “Idiots.” Rodrick came back to you, grabbing your face to pull you in for a deep kiss for a few seconds before you got ready to leave.

Greg and Rowley were obediently waiting by the van and jumped in as soon as it was unlocked. As you all settled, you decided to go back to the Heffley house.

“Hey, Y/n?” You looked back at Rowley, who was looking back at you with curiosity. 

“Yeah, Rowley?”

“How is your tongue purple if you’re drinking a red slushie?”

Confused, you turned back around and stuck out your tongue. In the rearview mirror, you saw a purple tongue. Knowing how this came to be, you raised a brow at Rodrick. You caught the corner of his lip twitch up before he poked out his tongue just enough to show you a similar shade of purple.

“We were sharing drinks.” You finally answered the young redhead.

“And spit.”

“Shut up, Greg!”

***

Before we talk about being married to Felix, let’s talk about how he became your sugar daddy

I wouldn’t be surprised if you were one of his friends’ daughters

Not a lifelong friend, more like some other rich person he’s somehow connected to

So he knows you have more than enough of your own money to spend

But Felix doesn’t care

He’s immediately hooked on you, just wanting to give you everything you ever wanted and then some

“Felix, Jesus, this is absolutely too much.” You stared at the large stack of bills the man had put in your hands. It’s not like you hadn’t seen this much money before. But the fact that Felix has been doing this for the past few weeks for no reason perplexed you.

“No, it’s not.” Felix grinned smugly. Apparently, giving you insane amounts of money every few days was something he could afford without denting his wallet. “I could give you more.”

“More?” Your eyes widened in bewilderment. “Felix, this much money every week is… a lot.”

“Would you prefer a monthly allowance, then?” You playfully slapped his shoulder, which was as high as you could reach. “I’m serious.”

“I know you are.” You responded, before wiggling your fingers toward Felix, which he caught and took as a sign to hold your hand. You’d never get over how his large hand always engulfed yours. 

“C’mon.” He gently tugged you away, and you were more than happy to follow. “We can discuss it more over dinner.”

If he’s being honest, Felix had your engagement ring picked out about a month into dating

Call him crazy, but he just knew you were the one

The wedding was absolutely beautiful, held in the backyard of his very lavish estate

The reception that followed was held in the manor

Very quickly, everyone seemed to lose sight of you and your new husband

“Felix!” you tried to be scolding, but the giggles that escaped you shared your true feelings. “This whole party is for us. They’re going to notice we’re missing.”

“Don’t care.” Felix responded as he climbed the stairs towards the master bedroom, effortlessly carrying you over his shoulder while doing so. “You’re just so gorgeous, baby. You know I can’t resist you. ‘Specially when you get in a pretty lil thing like this.” Felix punctuated the end of his sentence with a firm slap on your ass, which was barely being covered by the short satin dress you had changed into for the reception party. “I can’t wait to take it off you.”

I’m just gonna be blunt, you got creampied crazy style

But anyways…

Getting married to Felix was the best decision you ever made

If you thought you were getting spoiled before, this was a whole new level

He’s constantly leaving gifts around the house for you, and coming home with even more

Makes you do a lil fashion show for him when either of you gets yourself something

Which usually leads to sex

Constantly takes you on vacations and lets you drag him wherever you want

Insists on you not working, because “why work some dreadful job when you can do whatever you want and not worry about money because I’m here to take care of you?”

If you really wanna work somewhere, he’ll begrudgingly “allow it”

But he’ll be so mopey about it

Felix had been sprawled out on your massive bed for the past fifteen minutes, like he was a cat. And much like a cat would, he had been lying on the clothes that you had picked out for work before your shower.

“C’mon, Felix, get up.”

“Don’t feel like it.”

“Felix.” You dragged out, quickly growing tired of his little games.

“Y/n,” Felix replied in similar fashion.

“Get up, I need to get dressed.”

Your husband huffed like a sad puppy. “Why do that when you look so good like this?” One of his large hands reached out to grab the hem of your towel, which was wrapped loosely around you. You felt a small pull on the fabric and saw a glint of lust in Felix’s eyes. “Would look even better without this, too.”

You stepped closer, and Felix was quick to put his hands on you, taking away any chance of escape.

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

“Very much, yes.”

“What do I get?” Doing your best to not reveal too much of yourself, you climbed onto Felix’s lap. He readjusted his hold, having an arm wrapped around your waist to keep you close and steady while his free hand slipped under your cover.

“What do you get?” he repeated, squeezing your ass as he pretended to think and smirking when he heard the gasp that left your lips. “How about…” Your husband started before dipping his head down, attaching his lips to your neck, “a pussy full of cum, full body massage, and a trip to that big shopping center you like. My treat, of course.”