Against All Authority Except Ma'am

I hope she agrees and carries through even though she might think it was just a short time from my last spanking, which I received last Friday and turned out to be a major one. In the past, she managed to to make me internalize the idea of giving up for good a certain drug habit I was still in love with but which was doing me disservice (and making her miserable) through a challenging spanking session, another time she made me break procrastination and get over with a list of phone calls I needed to make, immediately after the spanking was over and I stayed focused until every affaire was handled and the state of advancement and eventual next steps duly noted.

So there *are* precedents for her spanking me making me change for the better, at least on a particular point. What I'm not sure (but curious to find out at the fair price of a few minutes of acute butt pain followed by a few days of sore bottom) is whether and how being held accountable for something I did not have full control over can make me calmer facing a similar situation in the future.

If it sounds far fetched, know it's not like stress relief spankings weren't a thing and I myself weren't loving the calm, level headed, almost zen aspect of feeling freshly spanked for actual discipline with a clear purpose or motive by the person who I trust the most in the world.

No, the more I think about it, the more I'm sure the DWC husbands and other such "spanked for real" guys also, at least implicitly, share my ambition to use consensual adult domestic discipline spankings for personal growth of the receiving party, aka themselves. They just word it differently. F/M DD blogs are full of expressions of the exact same motivations I have when I try to incite Ma'am to spnmank me harder, longer, more often.

It's just that usually they use normie / fetishist / traditionalist vocabulary for it. Nothing inherently bad with that, just not terms I can get behind.

Hence, I start rewriting the story with my own terms and concepts.

(And no, there is no contradiction between my craving for domestic discipline from Ma'am specifically and my core anarchist beliefs. The willingness of the submission to an authority makes a world of difference. After all, it's the same mechanism which separates an act of love from a violent crime in a vanilla sex act, too : consent.)

When it comes to the correction I just asked for, the only worry I have is that calming me in future instances where I'm feeling overwhelmed and losing my ability to verbalize and becoming irritable - and these will come, like they've always be present in my life, sadly - will end up too much to ask to derive from a single spanking. Flip side, even if we end up getting just accountability for something I regret doing and nothing more, making the spanking reactive rather than proactive (which is always a shame or a pity, underwhelming in any act), that still gives me a chance for a better argument for her to start initiating discipline on me herself, which is something between a pipedream and an aspiration for me. Flop side, I'm not sure if she doesn't end up feeling like it's too much of a mental charge for her to note aside when I made her feel bad and punish these instances. But hopefully it won't be, and we'll unlock another means of making the spanking mean something, and myself I'll have a possibility to end up earning a spanking as decided by *her*, which is a wish I've had ever since we leveled up out of the realm of funishment and erotic spankings.