afreakingdork

Mayhem reappeared several feet away and skidded sideways as if something had thrown him back.

His claws ripped ribbons into the floor as friction slowed him.

Leo shot right out of existence, barreling towards him. “Really exercising that ‘serve and protect,’ eh Shisa!?”

Mayhem snarled and prepared to dodge with a thrown look in your direction.

He was retargeting and Donnie waffled around you in a drugged stutter.

The moment Mayhem’s paws pushed off the ground, it was in a rapid rotation that came with the way he teleported. His existence turned in on himself as the black hole without concept sucked him in. He ran down the tiny drain, pooling in his essence, only for Leo to shine like a blue beacon right above.

“Ninpo’s back on, boys!!!” Leo yelled as he too slipped away, but through a disc instead of a warping.

Both disappeared and, before you could search for the reality bending spot where they might reconfigure, an enormous pair of red hands came down from above. 

It phased through your being harmlessly and you gawked from beneath a blanket of red light. 

Purple clanged up against it and muddied the color of the constructs.

Your husband’s fluttering lashes pulled your periphery.

You looked to see the purple in his gaze blinking just as fast.

“Donatello!” Raph was running towards you.

Mayhem appeared outside of the box, but never got a claw on it as Leo manifested right there.

“You and me, perro león! Mano a mano! Always wanted to see who teleports the best!!” Leo grinned large in a rotation that caused a canine to glint with streaked blue.

In a rapid pinball, the pair sped up.

You watched a scene that felt a little too familiar to blink after blink of existence clipped before you. Steaks like fading fireworks sprinkled down as the mystic charge was left in the air. Above you, to the right, from the far left, and around again, Mayhem would teleport and Leo would follow him. You could barely blink as the purple inner lining of the red hands fell along with Donnie. You held him close to you as your pupils bounced around your head trying to track what was barely in this realm until a crackle of orange energy bent over top of your red barrier.

It streaked the ground like a burning rubber taking off, but there was no car.

Michelangelo appeared far above in a pop of orange and threw down two massive chains.

You saw nothing in them, but they had weight.

The moment their tails touched the ground, the inhabitants manifested.

Mayhem was bundled in one glowing coil.

Leo was more lazily tangled on the other.

You had a feeling the latter had planned for this as only the yokai fought the metal links. Mikey wasted no time in yanking the loose part of that chain in particular. It caused a growing spool of mystic steel to wrap around Mayhem, until he dropped under what had to be an impossible weight. Ghostly green will-o-wisps appeared along the chains of Mayhem’s leash. Mikey yipped in fear and Leo shrugged off the metal that wasn’t really encasing him.

He disappeared and reappeared at April’s side. “Mike’s not hurting him. You know that!”

“He-he-!” April pointed.

Mikey floated down and tried to nervously shoo the green spirit orbs away.

“Ya’ll good?” Raph finally reached you and also phased clean through his own construct.

“He just took some pain medicine.” Your voice almost didn’t feel real.

Raph dropped to a knee beside you. “I bet. That was some beat down, eh, Donatello?”

Raph twitched as if he wanted to offer a soothing hand to Donnie’s shoulder, but kept to himself.

“Are you struggling to stay connected?” Donnie could barely lift his head, but forced himself to see Raph’s lips.

“To what? Our powers?” The red in Raph’s eyes wasn’t as poignant.

“I should have more appropriately evaluated Casey’s formula…” You watched a muscle leading down from Donnie’s neck to his shoulder spasm.

“He gave you something? From what supply?” Raph looked around as if there would be evidence.

You saw Mikey shudder as the will-o-wisps drifted away from his chains.

Leo was talking intently with April.

Her brow was furrowed.

Her gaze was dark.

“There’s a med bay.” You felt pulled back in your body. “Over there.”

Raph followed your finger. “That’s the usual stuff then. That’s what we use, Donatello. It’s a little over pharmaceutical-grade morphine. Leo has a hook up. Certain hospitals are required to treat mutants so they’ve got a special grade on site and we copped some. For good reason, but still. It’s extra pure or something… You got…? Lee! Come ‘ere! Donnie’s having some kind of symptom. Remember that one time my dosage was wrong and-!”

Leo turned away from April and appeared right beside you. “What’s up? Something up?”

“I think Don-!” Raph gestured.

“Away!” Donnie swatted at Leo.

You guessed Leo was still operating on a threat-response mode because he phased back a few inches instead of physically moving.

“C’mon, Raphie. Don’t call me over for nothing. You gotta remember that crash course emergency training. I’m not treating sunshine here unless we’re seeing respiratory depression or something. You know the symptoms.” Leo’s head rotated and he shifted right back to April’s side. “Now this is a patient that needs to ring the nurse’s bell!”

“How’s about I ring your-!?” Her gaze lit without green flames.

“Is he okay…?” You stared after Leo.

“Huh? Did you see something?” Raph looked between you.

Mikey landed beside the ball of chains that was now Mayhem and studied it.

“Leo doesn’t usually…” You didn’t gesture, you just shifted your attention to Raph. “It’s been awhile, but doesn’t he need a conduit to use his power on big stuff?”

“Ah.” Raph understood with one syllable. “The conduit you’re talking about is for us to channel what we’ve got going on. The power comes from us; the conduit, our weapons or even just metal in his case, just helps us finely tune the juice. When he’s high on the stuff, adrenaline I guess, he just does it straight from his body. I think he told me he can use the pins in his knee? I don’t remember, but he gets slippery as hell when we’re fighting, huh?”

Donnie chuffed with a whiff of pain.

Raph shook his head to focus. “How you holding up, Donatello? Was there something up with the drugs you got?”

You used a flat hand to pat and subsequently cover a, albeit small, section of your husband’s shell.

Donnie exhaled. “Agitated. Your ninpo?”

“Right. That’s what we were talking about.” Raph blinked up at his fabricated hands. “Seems stable. You know the drugs and overusing yours is probably why yours isn’t working right, unless you think it’s something else?”

Donnie darkened.

You hugged him to shield a bit more. “Do you know?”

He was very still before his head shook the barest amount.

“I guess you wouldn’t know the real battle limits of your ninpo…” Raph murmured, dropping his volume. “You can think of it like stamina. We’ve got a ton of it, by design, but there’s still a limit. That and getting hurt gets in the way because focus is a key component of ninpo control. Woof, not to mention the drugs!”

You felt Donnie blink slowly as he processed. “I see.”

Raph whistled low and long. “Y/N?”

“Huh?” You looked at him.

“How’re you? What… happened? We kind of kicked right into damage control mode, but when we woke up we were… lined up like corpses over there…” Raph sort of pointed.

You didn’t need to look. “CJ set off some kind of tech-slash-ninpo nullifier. It knocked you all out and we… No, he patched everybody up.”

“I’m sure you helped.” Raph shifted to properly sit beside you.

Donnie leaned a little more against your form.

You held him close. “I don’t know how to do what he can.”

Raph gave you a meaningful smile, but dropped the argument to look out to where Leo had similarly laid beside April. “A nullifier, huh? Haven’t dealt with something like that since the Krang.”

Your head whipped toward him. Donnie missed the words and pulled you around to his front. You protested softly as you were placed in his lap, but he draped over you to prop himself up. His chin locked over your shoulder with enough distance to allow him a side glance at your lips before he approached Raph with his eyes alone.

The red Hamato tilted his head.

“Donnie’s deaf right now.” You supplied.

“What?!” Raph quacked. “That’s gotta be a symptom-!”

“Cochlear implants.” Donnie told him evenly.

“Coke-what-now?”

“The nullifier fried his implants.” You explained.

Raph opened and closed his mouth.

“Internal hearing aids.” Donnie was a bit exasperated.

Raph hummed as that made sense and lowered as something else occurred to him. “Implants, plural. The two hearing aids?”

Donnie twitched as he couldn’t look away.

Raph’s lids adjusted in a squint that had clearly been honed to suss out bullshit.

Donnie spoke out of the corner of his mouth. “In addition to a computer chip meant to facilitate seamless tech integration.”

Raph didn’t let up. “Where is this chip?”

You looked away as you weren’t going to say it.

You felt Donnie tense around you before he clicked his tongue. “Brain. I will need to have brain surgery to have the parts repaired… and to evaluate the extent of the damage accrued from this nullifying device.”

“He’s gonna have what now?” Mikey pulled a single length of chain free.

Mayhem warped through the little strip it revealed.

Mikey dove to catch him.

Not quite fully gone, but not in a singular form, a stretch of Mayhem elongated from where Mikey caught his tail.

A slinky of fur shot towards your red cube.

Both you and Donnie shot upright.

Raph didn’t look as he turned and caught Mayhem’s floating maw with his real hand just as it phased through his ninpo one. “Mayhem, bud. Give it up. There’s no enemy here. Let’s talk this out.”

Mayhem bit down on Raph’s hand, but not with enough strength to break skin.

“Yeah! Let’s call a truce!” Mikey dug his heels in while pulling on his tail.

Leo stood and rolled a shoulder at the ready.

CJ reviewed the scene quietly.

“It’s over.” April had the final say. “We’re standing down.”

Mayhem growled an annoyed sound before he let go of Raph.

Like a tightly wound spring, he returned to where Mikey was and kicked the orange Hamato as he popped back to his usual form.

It didn’t knock Mikey away as much as over.

Mayhem licked an irritated paw and swept it over his tousled fur.

“Speaking of talking it out…” Leo did a slow turn to take all parties in. “I’m assuming you all had a huge healthy heart-to-heart?!”

“Heart-to-ass, more like!”

“We mostly discussed-!”

“Leo…”

Donnie was steadfast in his silence.

Leo put his hands on his hips and sighed. “Yeah, no. Silly me, right? That’s what I shoulda thought…”

CJ’s brow came down.

Fast and hard.

It disappeared and you had to look around.

No one else seemed to notice how odd the move was.

How out of character it was for the man you understood to be CJ.

Someone gasped and it curdled into a thunderous snore.

You all stilled and a rip of eye rolling dramatics went through every other person but you and Donnie.  

You turned to find Splinter, looking far more splayed then he had been originally placed, snoozing with his mouth agape and drool already pooling out.

“Barring dad…” Leo projected.

You were slow to return to the current scene.

“The way I see it is we’ve got some mystical artifact, an amputation, two people who we last saw very much trying to tear each other’s heads off who are now on non-speaking terms but in the same room somehow, a lot of bandages, and...” Leo turned to glare over April. “A very old stomach wound that’s leaving a bigger gap in my knowledge than I thought possible.”

April twitched in horror and her hands flew to cover her bare abdomen.

Mikey was slow to right himself. “April…?”

“April?” Raph parroted the sentiment as he turned in time with the red barrier dropping.

“So…!” Leo clasped his hands beside his head and his effort to be cutesy in the face of his threat exaggerated the latter. “That’s a whole lot of showing and no telling! I doubt we’re all going to hold hands and sing Kumbaya, so I pitch we do Director’s Commentary. Get everyone up to speed!”

There was another ripple through the crowd that you and Donnie were clearly unaware of.

“No!” Mikey was fully up and moving towards Leo with an outstretched finger. “No, no, no! I’ve asked you to do DC for years and you do not get to just drop it now like it’s your easy way of exchanging info!!”

“You hate doing it!” Raph added. “You swore that you'd never do it again!”

Irritation got even April upright despite her pain. “Leo, you haven’t done a damn DC in years because there was that memory leak! Who’s the one that’s actually afraid of what’s gonna fall out of his head and get revealed!?”

Leo seemed to spiral around the three before a voice behind him picked up with a soft, “You… know how to do Director’s Commentary…?”

CJ was right before Leo.

You only had a shot of the periphery.

The full side profile of Leo’s face.

He stared, unfocused, out toward the room.

His eyes dropped.

Hit the ground and the emotional pain flashed in a wince of his features. “It hasn’t… been years.”

April pulled a pained breath in. “Leo, when-!?”

Leo looked right at you.

You jolted.

The other eyes chased yours.

“I don’t-!” Tumbled out of your mouth.

Raph was the first to break from the direction and look back at Leo. “This is why you wanted to talk to CJ! You let something slip to Y/N! Probably a leaked memory! What was it this time!?”

Leo ignored him and turned the other way around to meet CJ.

The man out of time’s eyes were clear, but faintly guarded.

Leo looked over him both proud and with a dragging personal disappointment. “I really wanted to talk to you…”

“Hey!” Raph barked.

“Leo.” CJ addressed him.

“Yeah?”  

“We can talk if you clear all this up. You want to know what you missed? Do you want to know what we promised before you woke up?”

“What’s that?” Leo was painfully fond.

“No more lies.” CJ nearly bared his teeth as he pointed his phrase right into Leo’s chest.

Raph bobbed once in surprise and then in outright glee. “Hell yeah!!”

He crawled up and toward CJ in a barrel.

This must have been something common because CJ was ready right as he was scooped up into a bear hug. “No more lies!!!”

“For real?” Mikey checked with April.

She shrugged, not as easily convinced.

“No more.” You agreed and sensed you needed to help Donnie to his feet. “Is now a good time to ask-?”

“What?” Leo was hovering around Raph.

“What do you mean by Director’s Commentary? I doubt we’re going to watch some special features!”

You felt Donnie try to bury levels of confusion as you helped him get up.

Leo clapped his hands in front of his beak.

Raph set CJ down and ruffled his hair.

CJ shoved at Raph’s arm playfully.

Mikey snuck up to April with Mayhem trotting around his legs.

“Hey! You get the reference!” Leo swung his joined hands forward. “Special features, that’s great!”

You clenched your teeth to keep from outing Donnie’s ignorance on the subject.

“Those were the things that used to sell physical media. It’s crazy they stopped doing ‘em. I loved hearing producers and actors doing their behind the scenes schticks. Plus, yeah, the directors talking over the flick to give all the juiciest scoops and trade secrets. ‘Did you know he was drunk as a skunk when he filmed this?’ ‘Did you know he did the press for this in a junket that lasted six straight hours?’ ‘They had to use real ballerinas because no one, not even the VFX team, could get the movements right in this part!’” Leo rounded everyone.

You couldn’t help but think of him like a sheep dog and he ushered them in with little flicks of his wrist that were almost imperceptible to the group he was wrangling.

“A few weeks ago, I accidentally let a memory, not mine, thank you Raphael, slip to Y/N. That was your leak! It was one of CJ’s.” Leo scooped April up while she was distracted by trying to keep Mikey away from doing the same.

She croaked her irritation.

Leo didn’t listen as he got her into his arms.

“Which one?” CJ looked a bit hollow.

“The last one from your timeline.” Leo responded as quickly as he carried April over.

Raph greeted her with a large palm.

She took it and Mayhem stuck his head out from below to help her get down, mostly, on her own.

“Ah.” CJ was slow to emote.

You walked as a cane for Donnie.

His prosthetic was gone and you were slow to join the others because of it.

“Director’s Commentary is what I call the memory portals when I use them intentionally. They were great for proving who was right and wrong when we were young, but as we got older-”

“-The trauma piled up.” Mikey jumped in both verbally and literally into the ever forming circle.

Leo shot him an annoyed look which he schooled. “I, like the rest of the world who decided they would rather stream stuff than have backups, ditched the concept. You have to round up the cast which is too much effort, using my powers, and there’s not always a lot of replay value, it usually pisses people off. It just wasn’t worth it! We, as a society, decided to stop doing director’s commentaries.”

“Except…?” You were nearly there to complete the chunk missing from the moon.

“Except, this isn’t about what people want anymore. I know April or I thought I did.”

She snapped her head away in spite of her shoulder injury and just took what had to be the stabbing consolation.

“She’s not talking. Five-head over there has never shared with the group and, in general, I don’t want to go through the humiliation. So let’s just get this pseudo-mind meld going and get this over with, kay!?” Leo twirled a beckoning finger.

Mind meld sounded familiar, but you couldn’t place it.

“Raph wants to hear you swear you won’t complain if there’s a leak.” Raph folded his arms to stare Leo down.

“I don’t remember agreeing to shit.” April tacked her resentment on.

You made it to the circle and Donnie sharpened his gaze toward the blue Hamato to wordlessly announce his own rebuttal.

“It’s a good plan.” CJ broke form.

“I’m with him.” Mikey stuck out a thumb.

CJ gave him an appreciative nod. “In my timeline, Master Leonardo would try to run Director’s Commentaries like movie nights. He tried to use them to play movies, but he never remembered parts as clearly as he wanted. That’s part of it, right Leo?”

“Memories aren’t exact. You only remember what you do and that’s all you can show.” Leo agreed with a bit of reproach in his voice.

“I understand wanting to talk, but sometimes memories speak louder. It’s like actions, but they’ve already happened. It shed a lot of light in those dark times.” CJ went on.

“I’m sure it did.” Leo had a tone.

CJ looked at him strangely, like he was something new or something old.

“What was it that you promised? I don’t think Raph broke our ear drums with it the last time he belted it. ‘No more lies.’ I don’t think we have a choice since it’s now three versus…” Leo feigned a count.

“I’m on team hashtag no lies.” Mikey raised a hand.

“Four-” Leo emphasized.

Mikey felt the need to count before he added a finger.

Leo gave an appropriate nod. “That’s four to three.”

Mayhem chirped one loud, angry time.

Leo dragged his gaze to the yokai. “Are you telling me you don’t want us to know what’s up with April’s injuries?”

Mayhem’s eyes popped wide open.

He looked at April.

Her lower lip butted against her upper. “Don’t you-!”

Mayhem cheeped in obvious agreement and stomped a paw in Mikey’s direction.

The orange Hamato barely kept his foot from getting crushed. “We’re back to three naysayers!”

“April.” It was your turn to threaten.

April gave you a sharp look.

You held it.

She seemed like she would hold out, but she reeled away with a suck through her teeth. “You know what? Fuck this. I’m going first. You all want some clarity!? Check it!”

She threw her hand out, palm down, into the center of the circle.

You and Donnie watched closely.

“There’s another reason why it’s called DC.” Leo left a huge gap as he put his hand, palm up, below hers.

“Unilateral current.” Donnie was the first to recognize the reference.

Leo tried not to sneer. “I’m the electricity and April’s gonna act as the terminal. Show ‘em, guys.”

Raph and CJ put their hands in at the same time.

They bumped, chuckled, and adjusted, stacking on top of Leo’s hand with their palms up.

Mikey took the spot right under April’s hand, doing the same. “Like this. Leo’ll open the portal channel and everyone who’s touching will get to see what April shows us.”

You felt Donnie check with you once with a slight lurch, then growing confusion.

A dull one that was coming only from him.

From his person.

Not your bond.

You cursed aloud, “Again!?”

For once, it was the others turn to stand around confused while Donnie chuffed his own biting sarcasm, “Lifetime joining.”

“One second.” You threw to the group before turning toward your mate. “Seriously. It’s like being sold a shitty car. One more break and we should get our money back from a lemon law.”

“Lemon…?” Donnie held out his hand. “Sai, please, Raphael. Modified for razor-sharp kissaki?”

“What the hell is-?” April shifted her gaze to your left hand as she realized what was happening. “Are you for real right now?”

“What?” Leo and Mikey overlapped and distracted themselves by doing so. “JINX YOU OWE ME A SODA! NO, YOU!”

Raph conjured one of his weapons into physical form and held it out. “What’s going on…?”

“Our stupid mystic marriage bond isn’t really till death do us part.” You reached for the blade.

CJ was next on the uptake. “I’m sorry! Let me-!”

He jogged away and came back with disinfectant.

CJ and Donnie cleaned the weapon and Donnie pricked himself first.

“With these rings…” You were callous as you nicked yourself.

“Forever.” Donnie squeezed the word to give it permanence.

Your blood infused with the rings. 

“I’m not sure about ‘again’…” CJ spoke over your bond reestablishing and the wave of Donnie’s injuries nearly knocking you over. “But the Arcane Nullifier isn’t a normal occurrence. It’s a really powerful, one-and-done, kind of weapon. It was made to take down… well you know…”

“We don’t actually know!” Mikey spoke a second before Leo. “Cheerwine! That’s all I’ll accept!”

“You and your swill.” Leo brushed him off, but you had a feeling he would supply the drink. “I’m not getting you two another wedding gift.”

“Because we just loved your spoon set.” You quipped.

Amusement ran through your bond as you knew Donnie was tickled to be reminded that he had incinerated it.

“What’s that supposed to mean…?” Leo narrowed his gaze.

“DC. Light it up.” You put your hand in, palm up.

The others formed the rest of the stack as they had before.

Donnie was the last one to join. 

“What about Mayhem?” Mikey asked to the yokai sitting beside him.

“Mayhem can glimpse whatever he wants. He’s got my powers and then some.” Leo dismissed him.

Mayhem swished his tail in a haughty way.

Leo rolled his eyes. “April, it’s on you.”

There was a spark of Leo’s power that you glimpsed from his gaze before you were gone.

You were no longer seeing the room around you.

You saw an alley.

Your fingers twitched.

Raph’s voice floated in. “Steady, you’ll break the transfer if you pull your hand out.”

“I’ll let the night speak for itself.” April’s voice was the last.

She was running.

One dark night and it was clearly her perspective.

You saw her boots.

Heard her voice puffing as she ran.

The green glow of her bat rhythmically snuck into her periphery.

There was a flash.

A moment almost like the flicker of a weakening streetlight, but there was something purple about the gleam.

She pulled up one of those crystal Hidden City phones.

There was a tracker on its screen.

“This way…!” She turned a corner and froze.

Kept her boots from screeching.

Expertly halted and there was a hunch of black nearly a block down whatever back streets April was following him on.

You knew that shape all too well.

It was Donnie in his villain suit.

He was doing something.

You couldn’t tell what.

You felt a rise of bile.

She forced it down.

A wave of pride took its place.

You didn’t hear, but you felt a, ‘Gotcha.’

She readied herself with a jolt of energy that you knew had to be ninpo.

Green rounded your vision.

She surged with power and leapt with everything she had.

Her bat swung up above her head and she was ready to let gravity aid her in bringing it down.

Donnie didn’t so much as flinch.

She was falling and then, she wasn’t.

She quaked.

You felt not this reality, but the one you were actually in quake as the Hamato men saw the moment for what it was.

Horror.

The her in the memory didn’t know it yet. 

She hadn’t felt the impact as far as she remembered. 

You watched as she opened her mouth and a spurt of red fluid came out.

Blood was leaving her in a boiling rush.

Leaving behind cold tendrils that were snaking up your limbs.

The Donnie of the past turned and blinded you then.

Purple lights turned up to max luminance curled over his shoulder to review the intruder.

Bile was back, but there was no heave.

It hurt. 

Mikey made a pained noise and someone, you bet him, started to pull away.

Shock was wearing off. 

“Not yet.” April commanded.

“April…” He choked on sob.

The resentment that hit the memory was so palpable even you were mad.

Donnie, the memory Donnie of old, didn’t recognize April.

She knew it deep down to her very soul and it translated as a vignette felt across the memory ripples.

She slipped away.

Consciousness failed her. 

A fade to black.

You felt death.

The empty void. 

It was far too still. 

Someone jostled the pile.

“Don’t you dare!” April snarled.

It echoed through the dark.

Flashes came.

Mayhem’s chitter.

Mystic energy ran like an IV through her deadened veins. 

A hospital corridor appeared to be speeding by.

A ‘clear’ was shouted just before she gasped to consciousness.

Cotton.

Stuffed ears and head from an abundance of drugs.

Pain.

Aching and palpable even though this wasn’t a thought of your own.

A doctor listing symptoms.

It was going faster.

Her home.

April’s mom weeping.

Her dad daring to show his face.

A human phone with dozens of missed calls and unread messages.

April’s physical therapy.

A crash out.

Double bars.

Screams.

Leo ripping a portal into her bedroom and her throwing things at him to get out.

A plan.

Notes and diagrams on space-time.

A breakdown that looked to be an in-depth analysis of Leo’s and, furthermore, Mayhem’s powers.

She had her yokai protector blinked in and out of existence again and again as she charted something.

She tested whatever she had learned on a grape.

Several exploded.

One eventually disappeared.

She tracked it with that crystal she still had, though its jagged edges looked different.

A mug was sent via her own portals.

A box of clothes.

You saw a flash of etchings on a doorway.

Intricate patterns more than ones you had seen drawn on the ground to summon the ancestors.

“Like Howl, get it?”

Mayhem responded and, for the first time, you understood him, ‘Pretty boy ran away, didn’t he?’

“Only if you think about his time in a linear way.”

‘How do you perceive it?’

“You first, furry Einstein.”

April must have lifted her hand because you were all staring into a stack of them.

One moment you were with her and the next you were back.

You all retracted at different rates.

Donnie fast, as he disliked the contact, and he pressed his good hand to his splinted one.

Leo went next, staring at April.

Raph looked at his palm, and Mikey’s by extension.

Mikey hiccupped where fat tears were pouring down his face.

He hugged April.

Glomped onto her so tightly she wheezed from pain. “My ribs…!”

“Your life!” He wailed. “You were-!”

“Gone.” Leo’s pupils shook in accordance with his body.

“You’re locking your knees!” CJ warned him.

“You died.” Leo spoke and shifted his stance only slightly. “April… you-!”

CJ held his head.

“April…” Raph saw her through his own waves of rippling glass.

He was slow to approach.

“How did…? We let you down… How did we never put together how much you were hurting? How hurt you were…?” Raph’s tears streaked the floor.

April leaned out of Mikey’s grasp.

Like it was a question she wondered herself.

Mikey was still.

“He-he…” Leo gasped and was growing more unsteady. “If I had known…”

“We didn’t know…” Raph weeped.

Mikey saw the two of them only for a moment before he was in motion. 

He whipped around and you heard him speak something, mostly to himself. “’Memories speak louder.’”

He yanked Leo first, who was broken right out of his stupor.

He forced Leo’s hand into an upright position before he darted in super speed.

Your hand joined the bunch, facing straight up, in a rapidly growing stack until he caught April’s hand.

He entwined their fingers and gave her a heartfelt look.

April was disarmed.

He shoved her hand into the pile, fingers still together and the connection was immediately established.

Mikey’s mind was a loud mess.

A hundred thoughts sounded and once and felt like you were drowning.

You had to catch your breath.

The oxygen came with overwhelming worry.

April this.

April that.

Where was April?

It’s been weeks.

I forgot to buy milk.

Is she mad at us?

That’s fine; dad needs to lay off anyway.

Is it because I stole her quesadilla?

Had he gotten that medication refill?

He swore he didn’t know the items had been switched.

He needed to put that reminder on his calendar now.

If he could just talk to her, he could clear it up.

Buy her another when he went to the store.

Instead of playing out scenes, Mikey’s memories were a presentation where the slides turned over on too fast a timer.

Weeks then months played out in increasing anxiety.

Piling and consuming.

Without resolution.

He was steadfast.

Where was April?

Raph broke the DC and must have flipped Mikey’s hand, because the change where you were back in the wreckage of the Hamato lair and into a new memory was near instant.

Raph showed one scene.

A fight with Leo so vicious that you could really only see red and hear blue.

WE DON’T KNOW IF IT WAS US!

IT HAD TO BE; WHO ELSE COULD IT BE!?

ARE YOU GOING TO TAKE THE BLAME FOR THIS TOO?

ARE YOU GOING TO FINALLY ADMIT THAT IT WAS MY FAULT?

Raph was stunned in his memory.

Your hands inverted.

Turned over in sequence like dominoes.

Leo turned the memory around 180˚.

It was him now.

You felt his self-hatred.

The degradation.

You saw pins placed on a mega map.

All the research he had done on April’s whereabouts.

Every clue he pursued of what could have happened to her.

He got close.

You saw the same hospital corridor that was unmistakable from April’s memory.

Somehow the connection wasn’t made.

He didn’t find the death certificate.

He never had a productive lead.

You felt his frustration reach some sort of peak, but the scene changed. 

It wasn’t a new hand. 

Leo was still supplying the memory. 

He had a point to make. 

He drove it home with a stab to the back. 

He showed a scene that you couldn’t place other than it had occurred from when the group was young. 

Raph, Mikey, and April were discussing an upcoming patrol. 

Leo watched them with complete fondness. 

Like, for that moment, everything was whole. 

That they had been collaborative. 

A what should have been. 

A what was. 

April ripped the memory apart to insert her own.

You saw what had to be the same or similar night based on the appearances. 

There had been a communication breakdown.

The group, once able to speak calmly, had devolved into an argument about how they had lost someone else to Donatello. 

There was no resolution to that moment. 

April shifted to show slides of her own. 

It was her following Leo’s search efforts into her supposed disappearance.

She seemingly thwarted his every attempt to find her all while injured.

“Why?!” He wailed and it thundered over the memory.

“How could I tell you?!”

“How could you not!?” Three mutant voices chorused.

Hatred spilled over the scene.

One so palpable it pained you to witness.

“I wanted to ruin him.”

That anger rippled out and swallowed everything else.

Sanity.

Pain.

Fear.

It was a single minded entity.

Then, it was a sharpened blade.

It decisively chose April’s next steps.

Everything that needed to be done to exact the most painful revenge possible.

The moment she reintroduced herself, now healed, to the Hamato and left them no room for questions.

She took a new position in their lives from a seat outside it.

Everyone broke apart when Leo suddenly yanked free. “Fuck, fuck, fuck!!!”

“Leo!” A few voices chased him.

“I thought… I don’t know what I thought, but it sure as fuck wasn’t that!!!” Leo turned and threw out a hand. “For so long I…!!”

“You see it, right?!” April would have rushed him if she could walk.

“That I should have killed him when I had the-!” One of Leo’s fingers spasmed as if tapping.

“No!” Mikey roared with an almost Raph level of ferocity. “That isn’t what you should take away from this!”

“The one who killed her…” Raph hadn’t quite caught up and looked at Donnie.

Donnie met his eye.

“We’re not blaming each other! This is us… finally-finally knowing what the fuck happened!!” Mikey pleaded with the others to understand.

“I’m not, but he…” Raph was feeble.

“He.” Leo voiced.

“You would have done it. You would have put him down. You all know it. That’s why I couldn’t tell you! You would have taken that from me!” April spat.

“That’s not right! How could you say that after seeing what you saw!?” Mikey screamed.

“How could you not?!” April shot back.

A rocking motion caught your eye.

It was CJ, you sort of registered as screams were pelted around you.

“Why’d he look like that?” CJ”s voice was microscopic, but somehow hit your ear.

“Like what…?” You asked in a too normal voice because it thunderclapped the argument.

“What what?!” April snarled.

“He looked…!” CJ looked up with his own wet features. “Like the little boy in the posters just… bigger… A kid wearing a suit…”

“What are you talking about!?” Leo was nearby.

You all were.

“You think he looked like a child!?”

“Donatello was in my timeline.” CJ told him.

The Hamato men went rigid.

Mikey was the first to break. “You… That… can’t be right… You…!”

CJ shook his head.

“As a kid…?” Raph looked at Donnie. “How is that…?”

CJ shook harder.

“As what?” Leo threatened without malice, but desperation.

CJ shook so hard his mask came clean off and he threw his good hand over the centermost point of your fractured oval like an omen.

Leo studied it hard.

“The AA!” CJ was able to force out. “He was… the AA…!”

Mikey didn’t recall.

Raph didn’t either.

Leo squinted at the hand. “That’s… the name of the Krang beast. The one you said was real bad. It was...  one of Prime’s favorites…”

Something about that allowed a click to happen in Mikey’s mind. “The aburr-burr!”

CJ couldn’t muster a laugh. “Amaranthine Aberration.”

Raph’s sclera exploded.

Mikey sucked air in.

“No more lies?” Leo had finally found his rage.

“I never lied.” CJ was adamant.

“Right…” Leo sneered.

“I didn’t know he was here.” CJ was firm.

“You just left out one single tiny detail, huh?”

“Master Leonardo spoke about him like he was a ghost! How could I have known he even existed here?!”

“That master of yours is ME IF YOU REMEMBER?!”

“HE’S ONLY A FRAGMENT OF WHAT YOU COULD HAVE BEEN!” 

Leo recoiled.

“Look.” CJ shook his limp hand. “All of you. I’ll show you.”

You all tentatively stared.

“You’ll know.” He made a final decree.

You lurched with Donnie.

Made your offers.

CJ clapped down as acceptance of your sacrifices.

April joined next.

She knew and wanted to know more.

Mikey was hesitant, shooting glances toward Leonardo before adding his hand.

Raph slipped in last with a reassurance that lifted the group.

Leo looked as though he might stomp.

Protest.

He instead put his hand in too quickly, but slowed it on actual descent.

A bare tap sent his power through your palms and you were back in that dilapidated world.

CJ’s memories were clinical, but fraught.

Not unlike video tapes of war.

The camera of his mind put distance between you and the horrors.

Or he had the wherewithal to keep them from you.

You saw glimpses of a monster attack.

Flashes and never full visions.

It reminded you of the creatures in horror movies.

Never quite staying still long enough to be caught on film.

A frustrating illusion haunting the narrative.

You saw a hardened version of Leo make plans.

Tallies of those listed as dead.

The AA getting into the internet.

A resistance cut off from the last of technology.

The chance of everything being bugged.

Surveillance breeding hysteria.

Death.

Then a small candlelit moment where Leo told a story.

About a fourth turtle and the humanity he swore the AA once had.

One he and the others knew nothing about.

They knew a teen, close to them in age, who refused to join them.

A too serious brother who was living on the dark side.

Not unlike Barry, whom CJ knew as a friendly old face.

Not unlike Big Mama, who had offered her resources to the others when the Hidden City fell.

A laundry list of bad guys had become good in the face of a new world order that meant to end it.

There was no good or evil.

There was you or Krang.

Leo, Master Leonardo, had only the day before found out what exactly was inside the AA.

He shared this with CJ, not in hopes to humanize it, but as a tactical means.

They knew its weakness, if they could get to the heart of it.

The turtle inside.

CJ lifted his hand at that.

You all kept yours in.

You felt it now.

Master Leonardo’s sentiment.

CJ’s hand dropped and you saw this current timeline by the state of the world.

A camera reel showed the times he mentioned the AA, his boogeyman, to the Hamato.

He never intentionally left out the turtle.

In fact, he showed splintered tape of him in the Hidden City being haunted by a tiny turtle’s visage.

His thought processes dripped over the narrative.

He thought Donatello was not in this world.

Maybe instead of having been converted to the AA, CJ thought, maybe he had fallen during the fight with the Krang.

There was no funeral and, in the end of the world, you didn’t have time to mourn the dead.

You kept their memory alive.

Since Donatello’s wasn’t, CJ could only think the worst.

This was a world so close, yet so far from his own.

CJ broke the spell a second time and returned his hand to his person.

The group continued to linger.

Silenced by the man’s earnest take.

Leo wilted not in appendage, but person.

He looked exhausted.

Weak.

Regretful.

He wanted to make amends with CJ.

Not fight.

It hurt.

Mikey and Raph were hurt.

April was hurt.

CJ was hurt.

You all held onto each other amongst that.

You all knew it was no one’s and everyone’s fault.

That hurt the most.

There was no common enemy.

Only this group’s and the way they hurt each other.

Donnie very carefully extracted his hand.

You fell atop April’s.

Which was on top of Mikey’s.

Stacked on the support of Raphael.

Your eyes closed.

You felt them.

Not their energy.

Their pain.

You had seen it.

Here.

There.

Presently.

In their memories.

Donnie’s hand gently landed on top of yours.

You didn’t register the meaning at first.

Your husband’s hand was one you knew well.

One you held often.

Your palms were touching.

His down.

Yours up.

April below.

Mikey.

Then Raph.

Your eyes snapped open as the position took shape.

Leo sharply inhaled.

CJ studiously put his hand up below Raph’s.

He looked at Leo expectantly.

“No.” Leo said.

“Leo.” CJ spoke.

“No.” Leo said.

“Leo.” Raph added.

“No.” Leo said.

“Lee…” Mikey begged.

“No.” Leo said.

“Leo.” April sympathized and really looked at him. “It’s time.”

He warbled.

“No… more lies…” She didn’t believe it, but she said it.

His stance kept him upright.

Locked knees, you weren’t sure.

He stretched his hand out.

Fed with an agonizing length. 

You felt like it warped in the same way you had seen Mayhem.

Inches of it extended on and on until he was there and capped your chain.

Donnie’s memory didn’t rush in.

It wasn’t loud.

It was dull.

Murkey.

It reminded you of a water color painting.

It wasn’t indistinct and seemed to move two frames a second at most.

It was as if this was exactly how it was etched into his mind he had complete control over how the memories were perceived.

With Donatello, your husband and your mate, you knew either option as just as likely.

The paintings moved.

Dark shapes rolled through them.

What hit you was emotion larger than any one of you had offered so far.

Hunger.

Starvation.

Emaciation.

Sickness.

So much the entire group lost their footing.

Leo’s hand squeezed so hard from beneath, you felt it all the way up the stack.

Confusion came.

Then pain.

Pain unlike anything you had ever felt.

More than any injury you had sustained.

Sheer torture.

Agony that kicked up wails.

Mikey.

Raph.

April even cursed.

Shapes collided.

The painting moved.

The artist had a renaissance.

You saw scene after scene of a beautifully hued library.

You felt suffering.

You felt flickers of comfort.

Small things.

A left over snack.

Being able to pluck a line of text from blurry words.

You saw the sky for what seemed like the first time in a lifetime.

It was painted with broad strokes and almost instantly cut by insulation.

A warehouse.

A shifting table of parts.

Weapons.

Fear permeated.

Deep and dark.

A creeping feeling that didn’t just spring up but shifted black forms into the painting.

Ghosts that haunted.

Disruption.

Like the floor fell out.

Displacement.

Again, you saw flickers of scenes without form.

There was terror.

A constant edge of a knife.

Until he fell.

A flashbang sent him over the blade.

It cut skin, but didn’t stop until darkness consumed all.

No sight.

No sound.

Then too much of both.

New York City came with astigmatism.

Blurry lights.

Constant traffic.

Horrid hues of blue, orange, and red.

They were ghouls.

Overbearing and too bright.

They got brighter.

You felt unstable.

In body, but truly in mind.

Bloodlust took over.

So viscous and thick you could taste it on your tongue. 

Or it was coming out of your mouth. 

A paranoia set in that made you want to tear your skin off so you did.

You punctured it and the squelch was so loud it made you sick.

You heard gagging.

You saw flesh peel and open.

It was yours.

It was Mikey’s.

You smelled Raph’s skin burning.

You smelled your own.

Leo was a weight on your back and the pain in your spine made your legs momentarily numb.

He should have paralyzed you.

You did that to yourself with drugs.

Drugs.

Drugs.

Drugs.

Swallowed.

Inhaled.

Needles.

Pain.

Hysteria.

Mania.

Insanity.

Rain.

Cool.

Cold. 

Freezing. 

Emptyness.

The void returned.

Donatello left just before a light appeared.

Mikey turned and promptly vomited.

Raph jumped at the sound.

Leo stumbled backwards and fell onto his butt.

April was caught in the spell and fainted.

CJ caught her.

Donnie stared as Mikey scrubbed a heavy hand over his lips.

There was a string of drool. 

You were shaken.

You knew this.

He had told you.

You felt his pain.

You were bonded.

Those memories.

Were something else.

You felt every bone pop as you turned your head toward your mate.

He looked as he always did.

For him, that was what it was.

Facts, just as CJ had presented his own.

A tear fell not out of sorrow, but because you hadn’t blinked in too long.

Raph rubbed Mikey’s shell.

Leo curled into himself.

CJ carried April away to check her in her rock-made hospital bed of sorts.

Your eyes closed.

Donnie was with you.

“Hospital.” A voice too even amongst the others spoke.

No one seemed to hear it.

“HOSPITAL!!” CJ tore through the scene to grab Leo. “Her heart rate’s dropping!!! LEO!! PORTAL! NOW!!!”

(Check out behind the scenes for this fic and more on my Patreon. You can follow me there, here, or the tag #softspotfic for updates)