afreakingdork

You were looking at baby formula and pondering.

You did this sort of thing more often than not when you got the rare moment alone.

You weren’t embarrassed about it, but when you had the chance, you ducked into any aisle that had contents geared toward the baby. From looking at infant medicine at the drugstore to spying diapers when you slipped away to grab toothpaste, you had to stare. There were a plethora of brands that you knew would soon be sorted through for consumption. Knowing your mate, you bet there was already a preliminary list being tallied, but there were too many unknowns in your 20th week of pregnancy to choose quiet yet, so you wondered.

Would your baby need milk?

No one had any idea.

It was what made these little sessions so alluring. You could fantasize about all the ways it could go without the stakes of another person. Donnie didn’t particularly count and you and him had looked on fondly towards some jarred baby food the other day, but you still liked slivers of time to yourself. It was a judgment free space where you could wonder if the milk you would eventually produce was viable. You could see yourself both nursing or preparing formula and you didn’t think less of either option.

It wasn’t your body’s fault, however it went.

You were gestating something with needs that were difficult to ascertain. Even now, past the point of supposed danger, there was a certain amount of concern. That eggshell continued to propagate on one side of your fetus and you were getting clearer and more baby-like images with each OBGYN visit. There appeared to be some plastron points on the front and that sparked yet another thing you supposedly shouldn’t have been able to manifest.

Dr. Kuro had made a joke about it being a marvel your body didn’t reject the invader as a cluster of foreign cells. Both you and Donnie felt comfortable enough to yell at the woman for saying so in such a casual manner. She tittered at you both. Your baby was safe, she assured, though there was yet another adjustment to your vitamin intake in anticipation of its ever evolving needs.

Your baby.

Your baby.

You could think that now.

You could do it openly.

The curve of your body was no longer your own guts.

It was your baby.

It was still relatively easy to conceal with your clothes, but it was there.

It was undeniable.

It was Donnie’s and your child and you were so overcome that your head bowed right there among a sea of formula options.

You breathed as evenly as you could and blew out the rest.

You weren’t going to keep getting teary at the constant revelation.

You were okay.

You were pregnant.

You hummed lightly to yourself and sighed into a chuckle.

You guessed there was also a chance that your baby wouldn’t have either formula or milk. It could go straight to solid foods even if that seemed like an odd thing to imagine. That was how baby turtles were; you pictured a small humanoid creature who you had just birthed sitting in a car seat and nibbling on a leaf of romaine.

You chuffed at the mental image and heard heels squeak.

It pulled your attention to the side where you watched a large man backtrack to look at you.

“Hypno!” You shouted and moved to him.

“Y/N!” He caught your hand and bowed to it with a flourish.

You giggled. “What are you doing?”

“Right!” He popped up, but didn’t let go. “Smoothies! Per your suggestion, I was trying the fare here!”

“You mean the ones in the café by the door?” You tilted your head knowingly.

“Quite…” He dragged out the phrase before releasing you and making a big show of looking around himself. “Hygiene and frozen foods... How the devil did I get here?”

You shared a snicker before walking with him to where he had obviously had a cart going.

“Alright, you’ve caught me! I was bewitched by fanciful products! You know I’ve been in the States for most of my life and I still haven’t gotten past America’s taste for decadence. These schmick grocers always get me!” He pulled his basket over. “Look here. They’ve got these large tubs of seaweed salad, one of my favorites and look at this edible clay!” He held up a red bag.

Your lips parted as you read over the sparse packaging.

“Warren will just love it!” He gushed.

The worm eating it was one thing, but you were left baffled as to why this was marketed as a supposed grocery store item. “I’m sure.”

“And bulk pallets of wheatgrass!” He continued on.

You didn’t see anything like that in his cart. “Oh?”

“I’ll grab it by the door on the way out!” He spoke a little too quickly.

Without ever having established it, you knew that was code for stealing and relieved yourself of judgment. “You getting into a health craze, too?”

“What’s that?” He blinked at you from where he was staring fondly at his choices.

“It seems like everyone I know is into something right now. A few of my friends, I’ve been doing Pilates, that kind of thing.”

He made a little animalistic snort to give you his attention. “Oh, no, nothing of the sort! I crave plants. Must be some semi-aquatic mammalian trait. I never thought much of the stuff before, but you add a dash of Doug and you get all new taste buds!”

You had to think for a moment. “Your mutation.”

“Right.” He nodded with a smile. “What about you?” He obviously looked around your person for a basket. “What sort of oddities did this house of enchantments beckon you with?”

You became painfully aware of the aisle you had just come from.

It was alright, you had to remind yourself.

You had passed the window of safety.

You were secure.

You could tell anyone you wanted.

You could tell.

The thought shook you a little more than you liked to admit.

As odd as it felt, you almost wanted to keep it to yourself.

You had weathered all manner of despair and anxiety to get to this point.

Yet you still snuck off for moments of joy alone.

It seemed obvious to ruminate on why, but it was also palpable. 

You had been through too much.

Though you knew every parent's journey was different and there was no comparison, for you it was a trial. From the months of trying to get pregnant to the terror of succeeding, even now you weren’t really free from concerning shackles. You had simply moved to a tentative neutrality where the many unknowns were managed by what was basically a think tank. A legion of people were interested in you and your baby’s safety and with that nothing felt like your own.

You were bound to lose more autonomy.

As soon as the bump became more of a belly, others would know or have their suspicions. The choice of who to tell would be robbed of you and that seemed more than enough reason to tell others on your own time. It would be your only way of taking back some control, but you resented that. You wanted to tell people because you wanted to share your joy, not because you were trying to get ahead of some information leak deadline.

You decided right then not to mention it.

Not because you didn’t adore Hypno.

Not because you didn’t want him to know.

For the time being, for this happy sliver, you wanted your baby all to yourself.

It was your bell pepper after all.

It helped that its comparison vegetable could be as green as your spouse and you looked upon Hypno from the paltry seconds you had taken to yourself. “Pretty much the same! I came for the smoothies and stayed to look around.”

Hypno tittered in a way that fluttered his ears. “It’s truly bizarre! Forty-two dollars for water? Why?! How?!”

You wheezed lightly. “Seriously? Who buys groceries here? Where was that?”

“I’ll say! This way! Come look!” He led you and you both talked casually on the way.

You pointed out objects to one another and scoffed at the prices.

Hypno was compelled to pluck a few more items, but you eventually made it halfway across the store.

“Is that mayonnaise?” You reached for a jar in a refrigerated case.

“Is it?” Hypno bobbed behind you even though he could clearly look over your head.

“It’s coconut yogurt…” You read the label. “Why is it jarred like this?”

“It’s unpasteurized too.” Hypno squinted around you as if he needed readers. “If it’s vegan, why does it need to be boiled?”

It felt like holding poison so you put it back. “Twenty-five dollars. Wow.”

“Think we’ve had enough of this. Smoothie time?” Hypno squeezed the cart he dwarfed.

“Smoothie time.” You agreed and headed with him in that direction.

“Pilates, eh?” He asked genially.

“Yeah. It sounds kind of pretentious when I say it here.”

“Better than hot goat yoga!” He chuckled to himself.

“Is that your secret?” You teased as you approached the café and looked over a menu.

He did the same. “Now that’s a room rife for mutation. I doubt they’d need flash paper! They’d come out of the steam with the ability to breathe fire!”

“You got actual magic from being a magician, right?”

“Who knows!?” His hands went up and he manifested a ring for the sake of it.

He offered it to you and you were careful of its razor sharp edge. “Did Warren get… news… related powers?”

Hypno snorted.

“No?” You feigned surprise and gave him his ring back.

It disappeared into his touch. “His sparkling on-screen personality was something he already possessed!”

“Right…” You tried not to roll your eyes. “How are you two doing?”

“Good!” He held a cutesy hand up to his chin to daydream. “It’s been lovely these days. Communication is on the up and up!”

“I’m glad.” You brushed your arm with his.

“He’s outside, actually.” Hypno addressed you with a bright smile.

“He didn’t want to look around with you?”

“He dislikes this sort of shopping. We all hang on to something from the before times. His is having his bits and bobs catered. Thinks grocery shopping is beneath him.”

You shrugged as you guessed that made enough sense.

“Though… I said outside, but he’s probably in that television station. No doubt still trying to get his own program.” He smiled fondly.

You made a little startled noise as you rotated to face him fully.

That was where Donnie was.

Unlike Warren and his incessant ulterior motives, your mate was upfront and honest with you.

He was tired of smoothies.

While he still happily employed the juicer, he had grown tired of the menagerie of mix-ins. Unlike your palate, his could parse out the many flavors and he grew fatigued from the overload. He opted most often for single blends and only went as far as doubles on days when he was feeling a bit more adventurous. Otherwise it was bland juices for him, which was fine.

When Coral had mentioned these grossly expensive smoothies, you had joked about getting one just for the cost. For Donnie, that alone was more than enough reason to go. You had a feeling he was preparing for cravings, though you hadn’t particularly noticed anything like that just yet. Until your first hankering kicked in, it seemed your husband was cataloging your mentions.

He made the extravagant trip worthwhile for both your sakes by saying he was going to check in on some sort of ad issue. Genius Built acted like most parent companies and thus never advertised themselves directly. Instead, their subsidiaries did when necessary. The company logo would appear at the end of commercials, but one had run recently had some kind of issue. Your mate still liked to throw his weight around once in a while to perpetuate the mythos of Genius Built’s haunting creator. He liked to pop in unannounced at all levels of production and today just so happened to be marketing via the TV station.

“What’s that expression?” Hypno was eyeing you.

“I’ll give you one guess where my husband is.”

Instead of outwardly acting, Hypno simply closed his eyes. “They never did get on.”

“Nope.”

“Let’s purchase our bevs before we deal with them.” He strategically left his cart just outside the café and walked to the counter.

You followed after. “You getting the wheat grass one?”

“How did you know?!” He gave you a cheeky grin. “Now see here, blender master!”

The employee looked at Hypno without an ounce of emotion.

“Your finest grasshopper concoction, s'il vous plait!” Hypno smacked the counter.

The employee blinked once and shifted their pupil to you.

“The collagen one?” You asked.

Instead of responding, they rung you up.

You went to pay. 

Hypno was bigger and faster than you in every way so when his hand shot out, he slipped beneath your card to tap his own. 

You pouted. 

This was a man that was stealing groceries; you weren’t about to let him pay for something this wasteful considering. 

“That’s too much!” 

“There, there. Too slow, as they say.” He dismissed you with a pat to your shoulder. “What’s a gift for old friends?” 

“I guess if that’s your only expense.” You sighed and moved to sit.

“What’s that?” Hypno asked with clear nerves.

“Huh? Nothing.” You chirped.

He moved to change the subject. “Right, well, what’s this about collagen? Minding the skin, eh?”

“Y-yup!” You cursed yourself for the surprised stutter.

It wasn’t an unusual health fad.

Anyone who worried about aging used the product just as much.

“Think I’d benefit…?” Hypno lightly pulled his cheek.

You popped a vowel before rushing to his attention. “I mean maybe! It can help, but it’s not like you need it!”

“True…” He put his skin back in place. “I’ve heard it’s good for joints. Do you know anything about that?”

“Uh, yeah! It is…!” You had to reframe your phrasing so it wasn’t about pregnancy. “It helps with nutrient absorption and ligaments… I think.”

“You said ‘craze’ earlier.” He dropped his arm. “Is it a fad diet?”

“Maybe…? There’s definitely science to it. I’m not sure if collagen spiked creams are better for your skin than taking a supplement though…”

“So much to think about.” He chuffed. “Getting old! Bah!”

You softened some. “You’re not that old.”

“Don’t start!” He complained and crossed his legs in a huff of irritation. “I’ve heard it all. I’m ancient and you will accept it!”

“No!” You fussed.

“It’s maintenance!” His head lolled. “I keep these old bones as fresh as I can. You’re good to start now! It’ll make a world of difference. I wish I’d kept up in my youth like you.”

“Sure…” You sounded guilty and you could only thank Hypno’s poor perception skills.

“Hey, now…” He was in motion.

Your heart rate jumped. 

You thought he might ask and you would surely grumble, but he was clearly focused on something else. 

His displeasure sat with your smoothies on the counter where the server had never called out a sound that they were ready. 

“Certainly not paying for service.” He went to get them and brought your drink back for you.

“They didn’t say anything?” You took the cold cup.

“Not in the slightest!” Hypno let one of his ears twitch. “Let’s go wrangle our spouses.”

“Oh yeah…” You had almost forgotten you had an ordeal to tend to.

Hypno took one satisfied taste of his drink before he belched out satisfaction. 

“But first…” He led.

You waited for him as you sucked on your straw and got the first taste of iced goodness.

“I need to pay… yes, pay for all my goods from the place of service. You should scout it out. The talent agencies are always after me, you know! You put on several good shows and everyone is chomping at the bit to get the first on screen interview!” He prattled on.

You looked over him with a slight wobbling of your form as you tried to keep in a laugh. “Sure. You got it, Hypno.”

He had slight offense and turned it away toward his cart. “Hurry now! Before we both garner that kind of notoriety! Famous spouses and all!”

You doubted there was any way Donnie would allow such a thing, but you pretended to pick up speed.

You exited at a relaxed pace and checked your smoothie with a bob of your straw. It was pretty good, but not as good as its price suggested. You went back to sucking it casually as you headed down the sidewalk. Almost immediately, you spied your husband’s black coat as he stared up at the neighboring building’s exterior. As you got closer he seemed to be spacing out and he had a cat carrier clutched in his hand.

You guessed the contents before you got close enough to hear the hissing.

“Let me out right this instance you Boysenberry Bruise! No amount of make-up will cover your ugly mug when I’m done with-!!!”

Donnie turned to look at you.

You signed a greeting with one hand as you assumed he had turned his implants off.

He signed back in a way that said you were correct.

“What’s going on!? What’s with the weird code!? You think I don’t know hand signals!? How do you think we start a broadcast!!”

You blinked in a wide show at Warren’s volume.

‘How’s Hypno?’ Donnie asked with his hands.

‘Good.’ You responded while juggling your drink. ‘He’s stealing some groceries.’

‘They aren’t very well off.’ Your husband was nonplussed.

‘He got the smoothies.’

‘I’ll repay him.’ He nodded. ‘How is it?’

‘It’s alright, but not twenty plus dollars alright. How’d this happen?’ You pointed at the carrier.

Warren’s little arms would flail out from between the bars every so often.

‘He tried to hijack the airwaves.’

‘Fun.’ You drank loudly.

“Hey! What is that?!” Warren’s green eyes flashed as he wriggled around his carrier.

You didn’t bother with him. ‘Get the commercial fixed?’

‘Yes. Thankfully.’

‘Good.’

“Is that a smoothie?” Warren finally found an angle where he could see you.

“Yeah. I got a collagen one.”

“Why!? You don’t need it! You aren’t even going on camera!” The worm huffed.

“And you are?” You looked at him and smirked around your straw.

His arms shot out as he tried to grab you.

He had less than an inch of reach and wasn’t anywhere near you, but Donnie bounced the case.

He rattled inside and cussed up a storm.

People took a wide berth around you on the sidewalk.

“If you didn’t have five seconds in the spotlight with my husband, then I swear!!!”

“Swear what?!” A large and unmistakable aura appeared behind you. 

Warren squeaked silent.

“How’s your smoothie?” Hypno dropped his loom and came around your side to set his bags down.

“Good!” You were almost done.

“Not really worth it though, eh?” He made a squished face.

“Not at all.” You agreed. “Did they skimp on the grass?”

“No! Surprisingly!” He smiled and looked at his drained cup. “A good ratio, it’s just I would need four times the size anyway, and the cost.”

“Lunch?” Donnie asked with a swing of his body to face you both.

“If you didn’t ask then I would have!” Hypno cheered and then squatted down to the carrier. “Love, how are you doing? Calm enough for a meal?”

“Calm enough!? You are not leaving me in here!!”

“A place that allows pets?” Hypno stood cheerily.

“I saw some dogs at a place over there.” You pointed.

“Perfect. Shall we?” Hypno gathered his bags.

Donnie nodded.

You all moved to walk while Warren continued to spit up a storm.

“What about fish oil?” Hypno asked amongst the noise.

“I’ve been eating more fish actually.” You told him.

Donnie glanced at your moving mouths, but it appeared to be too much while also walking.

You watched him tap the side of his head and blink rapidly as Warren’s volume washed over it.

“It’s like heavy metals on one side and chemicals on the other.” You went on in your explanation.

“You know I took a school trip to the Trout hatchery once.”

“Trout…?” You tried to remember what you learned about that one.

“Oh, there’s this tinned one that’s smoked!” Hypno hummed happily.

An image of him trying to pick open the tiny containers flashed in your mind. “Now that’s something that’s not worth the price!”

“You have no idea!” Hypno descended on you with commiseration. “They should make those in bulk!”

You chuckled at the thought. “Maybe one of those bulk stores?”

“But then transportation!”

“On the subway!?”

Hypno groaned.

“Tinned fish.” Donnie murmured. “If we avoid shellfish…”

You flicked a warm glance at your husband.

“I know that line!” Hypno shared some kind of joke with you.

You looked him up curiously.

“That’s a man that’s had food poisoning!” Hypno flicked his head to Donnie. “We’ve all been there. The allure of oysters!”

“Oh, that’s not-”

Donnie scoffed. “I’d scent rotten product.”

“Oh!” Hypno was rueful toward your husband before he looked at you. “You suffered then? An awful blight.”

“No…”

“Then what’s this? Don’t tell me he sniffs everything you eat?”

You opened your mouth to clear the confusion.

“Of course, I do!” Donnie was clearly insulted. “Don’t insinuate control. There is none. It’s safety. It’s clearance of bacteria, virus, and chemical on consumables. Endless contamination that in other instance would be digested, but with an infant, they filter! When it comes to our child’s safety, it’s pittance!”

Hypno stopped abruptly.

You followed close and smacked a hand to your face.

You heard Donnie grunt out a confused note.

“Wait…” Warren finally quieted. “Wait, wait…!” 

“Y/N…?” Hypno was clearly prompting you.

You peered through your fingers at him.

“Does that mean…?” Warren wondered.

“Did you… not…?” Donnie was growing pale.

“No…” You murmured. “I didn’t… tell him.” 

“So that was…!?” Warren shuffled in the carrier.

“Y/N…!” Hypno went on.

“Hypno, I’m sorry that wasn’t…!”

There was a slam on plastic that caused Donnie to falter.

The carrier fell from his hand and banged against the ground.

The solid strike was enough that something jostled and Warren was able to pinch the lock open and free himself.

He stood atop the carrier and stared at you with huge eyes. “You’re knocked up!!”

You closed your fingers. “Please…!”

“He knocked you up!” You could hear Warren pointing.

“Y/N…” Donnie tried.

“No… It’s fine. I was going to tell them. I just…” You interjected.

You finally looked at Hypno, ready with a proper apology, only to find him openly weeping.

“Ah!” You drew out a soft scream and went to him. “I’m so sorry. I swear I wasn’t trying to keep it from you! It wasn’t like a big secret! Well, it was, but it’s not anymore! I just hadn’t-!”

“A baby!!” Hypno choked out the phrase.

“Y-yeah…”

“That’s wonderful news!!!” You were scooped up in what you thought might be a crushing hug, but Hypno was a gentle giant around you.

You were still bewildered and sent that to your mate.

He was beside you in an instant.

The moment his hands rose, Warren saw a threat and moved himself.

“Touch him and we’ll see who calls cut.” Warren readied himself at Donnie’s throat.

“He has my spouse!” Donnie snarled.

“It’s o-okay!” You were jostled, but delicately cradled in Hypno’s arms. “He’s not mad! I think he’s-”

“A baby! A baby!” Hypno bellowed happily before he snatched up Warren to squeeze the life out of him in his other arm. “Do you hear that, love?! A baby! Oh, I never thought I’d get to dote on one! I always wanted kids, but it wasn’t in the cards! Oh, Warren!”

The worm retched from where he was about to be crushed.

He was immediately released and switched to wheezing in Hypno’s palm. 

You hugged Hypno as best you could.

It brought on another wave of tears.

Donnie sighed against your side and refused to move.

“I should have told you!” You felt similar tears prick your eyes.

“No! I’m sure you have your reasons! You aren’t even showing! How far along are you?”

“20 weeks!”

“I never liked how they measured that in weeks!” Hypno weeped.

You followed suit and laughed. “Always converting it is such a pain…”

“Promise me you won’t do that thing when the little one turns a year! ‘They’re eighty-three weeks old!’ That means nothing!”

“Sure!” You sniffled.

“This is cause for celebration!” Hypno hollered and set you down. “An eatery for dogs is nowhere near swank enough!”

“We don’t have to-!” You fused as he had already splurged on those smoothies. 

“I insist!” Hypno smiled and made sure you were sturdy against your spouse before checking on his own.

“The turtle offered. it’s on him.” Warren fixed his hair. “Well pick the place.” 

“That alright?” Hypno gave an affectionate whine. 

“Yeah, yeah!” Warren finished preening and sighed. “Why didn’t you tell me? If you wanted a baby so bad, we could have taken one whenever!”

“Stop that!” Hypno thumbed him.

“You stop! I’m serious!” Warren shoved the digit.

“I know you are! Taking a child! That is beneath us.”

“You maybe…” Warren spoke out of the corner of his mouth. “You know what baby kissing does for publicity?”

Hypno rolled his eyes. “We’ll need to mind the menu, is that right? Is there somewhere suitable?”

“It’s not that intense.” You laughed it off and wiped your eyes.

“He just poison tests your meals?” Hypno arched a cocky brow.

Donnie passed you a hanky.

“It sounds worse than it is…” You chuckled and dabbed your face.

“Oh, but the salad!” Hypno checked his bags. “It’s meant to be refrigerated, what should we-?” 

“We’ll have it sent.” Donnie was clearly grappling with disengaging his concern.

“Sent where? Hand delivered? You got a guy?” Warren was inching toward Donnie. “I’ve been trying to get a guy! A grocery delivery guy! I need my things put in my fridge and cabinets! Right where they’re supposed to be, you see, it all started-!”

Donnie’s eyes rolled back into his head.

He was probably being especially docile since he mistakenly revealed your pregnancy.

You would assure him it was fine later.

You could enjoy this moment now. 

It wasn’t exactly how you meant it to happen, but you supposed that it was fine all the same. It was the company that mattered. 

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