The Cens are in the locker room after a pretty light practice, the season not yet in full swing, and the topic turns to married life, as it often does.
Ilya and Shane mostly stay quiet, giving each other pointed looks when Bood and Wyatt swap stories about their fucking awesome wives. That is until…
“Yeah but like, Roz and Hollzy have the most ideal situation.”
There’s a mix of eyebrow raising and general murmurs of agreement, half of the team unsure if this is Holmberg’s way of coming out.
“What do you mean?” Shane asks, ever one to ignore a social rule.
“You spend all day together kicking ass and being the best at hockey, and then you get to go home together and be and love and shit but also still talk hockey.” Holmberg sighs and stares into his locker a little wistfully. “I wish I was gay so I could have a hockey husband.”
The team is quiet for a minute, some of the younger members nodding in sage agreement. Bood even looks like it’s an intriguing idea.
“Why don’t you date a PWHL player?”
Wyatt says it with it much fuss, shoving his pads into his bag unceremoniously. Holms, however, looks like he’s just been struck by lightning.
“Say that again.”
Wyatt turns to the kid, eyebrows raised like he’s confused by the reaction.
“You know that the PWHL exists, right?”
Holmsberg is too thunderstruck to scoff.
“Yeah. The Charge. They’re…oh my god.”
And thus starts the social media scrolling to figure out which Charge players are 1) single, 2) in Holms age range, and 3) into men
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Ive got my spark back! I genuinely enjoy writing again.Fun fact i was TERRIBLE at English at school,failed in consistently 😔.Why the actual hell are childlock things so hard to open, like Jesus Christ.
Batboys x Reader; kicking them in the balls
Bruce Wayne
Grim silence. Internal agony. External stoicism.
It was an accident-maybe a sleepy leg twitch in bed or a mistimed training maneuver. Either way, you connect. Clean.
He freezes. Shoulders tense.
“…I’m fine.”
No, he is not fine. He doubles over with the slow grace of a falling statue.
You panic.
“Oh my god, Bruce! Are you okay?!”
He waves you off with a breathless wheeze.
“It’s nothing. I’ve been stabbed before.”
“Yeah, but this is worse.”
He gives you a look. You give him ice. And maybe something sugary. He accepts both.
⸻
Dick Grayson
Reaction: Instant dramatic collapse. Will never let you live it down.
You were play-wrestling, he got cocky, and BAM - your knee goes rogue.
He drops like a sack of potatoes.
“BETRAYAL. IN MY OWN HOME.”
He’s lying on the floor moaning dramatically like he’s auditioning for Les Misérables.
“Babe… I see the light. Tell Alfred I fought bravely.”
You’re trying so hard not to laugh.
“Do you want an ice pack?”
“I want your eternal regret and cuddles. Also yes, ice.”
He brings it up at every family dinner for the next five years.
⸻
Jason Todd
Tough guy façade cracks in real-time
You’re straddling him, things are getting heated, and then your heel slips. Direct hit.
He gasps like he got shot again.
“Oh-holy sh-hang on-just-fuck-“
You’re mortified. He’s curled up like a shrimp.
“Jason?! I’m so sorry!”
He weakly raises a hand. “Not your fault. I was… unarmored.”
When he recovers, he teases you relentlessly.
“Can’t believe you tried to take me out. In the middle of foreplay.”
“You can’t joke about this.”
“Babe. You hit the Red Hood in his Red Hood.”
⸻
Tim Drake
Instant panic. Frozen like a shocked Roomba.
It was innocent. Maybe you turned over in bed too fast or dropped a knee during a cuddle.
He jerks, eyes wide.
“Did you just-oh my GOD.”
He topples over like a dying android.
You scramble to help but he waves you off while making tiny dying whale noises.
“Just give me a sec. Or like… 40 minutes.”
You bring him ice and apologetic forehead kisses. He stares up at the ceiling:
“I’ve been punched? shot and stabbed But nothing could prepare me for that.”
⸻
Damian Wayne
Utter betrayal. Like you dishonored his family.
It was mid-training. You did a spin kick. You weren’t supposed to connect. But you did.
Right in the Wayne heir-makers.
He drops with an expression of horror.
“Beloved… why?”
He’s clutching his pride, glaring like you just stabbed his sword collection.
“I thought we trusted each other…”
You rush to help him and he bats your hand away with his last ounce of pride.
“I shall recover alone.”
You find him later with an ice pack, muttering about “vengeance” and “emotional reparations.”
Jason jokingly started a "dead robins club" which includes: Jason, Steph, Damian and Dick and Tim jokes one time that he feels left out and asks what he needs to do to join. Damian thinks he is serious and tells Tim that he will make sure that Tim never joins the club, he shall never be seen in the same club as an imbecille (its his way of showing he cares)(also he lowkey doesnt want to share a club with him)
࿐content/warnings: smutty, age gap IMPLIED, angst, bit of mature era michael <3, emotional cheating kinda, reader is fem, lowkey dark michael
࿐wc: 1.3k
࿐A/N: been lazy and still writing my next imagine... it's a long one, so appreciate this short mature michael era headcannon :-))
fwb! michael who befriended you before he got married, making conversation on a mickey mouse shirt you were wearing
fwb! michael who took a subtle and bold look at the way your shirt accentuated your breasts, biting his bottom lip
fwb! michael who often thought of you when he was alone, running his hands down his stomach and to his underwear, groaning at the thought of how your delicate hands would feel on his cock
fwb! michael who'd often feel guilty that he thought of you that way, as you were simply just friends
fwb! michael who felt guilty, still wanting to be your friend while he was married
fwb! michael who once he got his divorce, instructed his driver to take him to your house and knocked on your door, tears streaming down his face
fwb! michael who appreciated that you opened your arms to him and his problems
fwb! michael who looked up as he wrapped his arms around you, smelling how sweet your neck smelled against his face
fwb! michael who ran his fingers across your lips, loving the way your natural lip shade matched so perfectly against your skin tone
fwb! michael who closed his eyes, leaning in and kissing you fiercely
fwb! michael who undressed you desperately, letting out a whimper as he pounded into you mercilessly
fwb! michael who brought his large hand over your mouth, warning you to be quiet so you wouldn’t wake up your roommates
fwb! michael who traced his fingers over your clit, rubbing it with passion, bringing you to your finish
fwb! michael who woke up the next morning, sternly stating that it couldn’t happen anymore, pretending that his heart didn’t hurt when you agreed
fwb! michael who got married again months later, breaking your heart as he happily announced his marriage in a public interview
fwb! michael who called you a few weeks later, telling you that the marriage wasn’t actually romantic, but instead a partnership so he could get the kids he wanted
fwb! michael who drove to your house that same weekend, kissing you passionately for an entire hour, fingering you in front of your mirror
fwb! michael who didn’t stop fingering you until you passed out, pressing kisses against the side of your face as you woke up and begged for more
fwb! michael who left a few days after, asking you to keep sleeping with him but respecting that he was married
fwb! michael who still called you now and then, asking you how you’ve been
fwb! michael who felt angry that you had a date and couldn’t call him the next day
fwb! michael who was waiting for you at home, placing you across your lap and spanking you till you apologized and cried, promising it wouldn’t happen again
fwb! michael who woke up the next day and reminded you that even though you weren’t allowed to date, you were still just friends
fwb! michael who kept up this routine for the timeline of his marriage, until he told you over coffee that he was divorcing his wife
fwb! michael who blushed at the smirk on your face as you hummed, biting your lip
fwb! michael who bent you over your kitchen table, whispering sweet nothings as you cried out for him to give you more
fwb! michael who told you that you two could still only be friends, as he was a single father now and had to focus entirely on his children
fwb! michael who was shocked that you showed up a few days later, bringing baked cookies for his children
fwb! michael who looked at you with a hint of appreciation and love as you took turns reading to his kids
fwb! michael who helped you as you dried the dishes, talking about your day
fwb! michael who didn’t like how he felt as you walked out the door with no intentions of kissing him
fwb! michael who called you the next day, asking why you didn’t sleep with him
fwb! michael who was surprised that you initiated the idea of sleeping together while still being true friends
fwb! michael who agreed and liked the idea of you being someone he could trust, while also still admiring your naked body and the unique way only you could make him finsih
fwb! michael who treated you like a friend in public, taking you to lunch and sharing his new music notes, yet fucking you like there was no tomorrow that same night
fwb! michael who loved that you were always there, even after years of keeping you in the same cycle
fwb! michael who took you as a date to an event one night, feeling jealousy lace into his blood as you spoke to his colleagues
fwb! michael who reminded you on the drive home who you really belonged to, leaving bite marks all over your exposed collarbone, feeling satisfied that you complied
fwb! michael who celebrated your birthday some time after, not being sexual but instead a genuine friend, suprising you with a vacation with your closest friends
fwb! michael who reminded you he didn’t expect anything in return, just your authentic and trustworthy friendship
fwb! michael who felt his heart break as you came home and didn’t reach out to him for some weeks, until his kids asked for you
fwb! michael who called you, expressing that he missed you and asked why you didn’t call him when you arrived home
fwb! michael who heard your cries, telling him you couldn’t continue being friends with him because you had fallen in love
fwb! michael who stayed silent, because he didn’t know what to say, and so you hung up, never calling back again
fwb! michael who was angry at you, but more himself, for allowing himself to think he could ever think he could be a friend to you while having sex
fwb! michael who requested that his people keep an eye on you, giving him any significant updates about your life
fwb! michael who felt anger bubble into his blood as his spy had updated him with the fact that a guy was coming over to your house, almost every night
fwb! michael who looked into the guy, finding out that the two of you worked together and were trying out dating
fwb! michael who was asked in an interview if he was romantically linked with anyone, and he said yes, and he said your name so delicately, you couldn’t help but fall to your knees, turning the TV off and sobbing
fwb! michael who arrived at your house, pounding on your door and demanding to see you
fwb! michael who sat outside your door for some time until you caved in, opening the door and asking him why he said what he said
fwb! michael who said he didn’t know why, but that he didn’t regret it
fwb! michael who made love to you against your bedsheets, sobbing into your arms as he apologized
fwb! michael who begged for forgiveness, appreciating that you forgave him so quickly
bf! michael who drove you to his place, introducing you to his kids as “daddy’s girlfriend”
bf! michael who proposed a year later, expressing that he always did love you, he was just afraid it would turn into more, and then abruptly end
fiancée! michael who stared at your ring as he fucked you gently, forcing you to look at him through the mirror, keeping your eyes open as he made love to you
fiancée! michael who watched as you slept, admiring your beauty, tracing his name over your heart, thanking God you forgave him and still loved him
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Adding onto the common HC I’ve been seeing of John being the group cook — he is DEFINITELY the “get the fuck out of my kitchen while I’m cooking” type of person, like you walk in to get a glass of water and he is like “fuck off no I WILL get you water do not DISTURB my cooking. Here. Now LEAVE.”
I like to think he’s mainly like that cuz he likes to solely focus on what he’s doing, and alot of the others end up commenting or asking too many questions — this kinda feeds into my undiagnosed OCD/Autism HC for John — and it’s just annoying and overwhelming. But not Bob. Bob is allowed to stay.
John has declared Bob can stay because he is — as John puts it — “a respectful spectator”. Which started as Bob sitting in the common area near the kitchen doing whatever while John cooked, then slowly migrating over to the opposite side of the kitchen island. Then that evolved into Bob randomly saying little tidbits of how his day was and then it ended with Bob just coming in to yap about whatever while John cooks while replying ever so often but mostly just letting him talk.
John now finds a strange sense of comfort in his rambling and everyone else is like “why can he stay and we can’t” and John is like “cuz he’s Bob and you’re not.” And Ava teases him RELENTLESSLY for it like — “oooh someone’s playing favourites” and John just tells her to fuck off cuz in all honesty, he IS playing favourites.
A/N: happy Frankenstein day to all those who celebrate!! ♡♡
A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
The most devoted lover in existence; oftentimes, after care is Adam’s favourite part of intimacy. To hold you and be held by you in the wake of such beautiful closeness, it is the most vulnerable he ever feels while simultaneously being the safest, because he has given himself to you and had you reciprocate. After an existence of rejection to every conceivable effort he has made to connect or find companionship with another person, there is nothing Adam cherishes more than the quiet moments after making love to you, in which he dutifully - and so, so tenderly - tends to your body, ensuring any aches are soothed, any soreness balmed (he is a very large and very strong man; no matter how careful he is, you will always have some marks that he will take care of), and every part of you kissed.
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
There is no visible part of you that Adam can or will ever choose as his favourite part of you on the basis of attraction, because all of you is beyond his comprehension of beautiful. However, he adores being able to read your every thought and feeling with one look in your eyes, and if he had to choose a part of you he loved most, it would be your heart. The first heart to ever accept his own.
He finds it incredibly difficult to favour any part of his physical body, but if he had to, Adam would say his hair, because it is the only part of his body he feels he has grown himself. The only part of himself that he has chosen.
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
All I’ll say is: has an awful lot of it built up pre-the first time with you.
I also enjoy toying with my personal headcannon that due to him being a combination of dead body parts brought back to life, he cannot “create” life and by extension pregnancy scares are impossible for him can we get a hallelujah.
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
Adam carries a lot of guilt for feeling any sense of desire because he doesn’t feel he deserves anything; any desire he feels is, innately perverse and dirty to him as a result. Once he is more comfortable in expressing and acting on feelings of lust, he discovers himself to be - quite unsurprisingly - a voyeuristic being. Watching you undress, come undone, to peak through a slightly ajar door and see you doing anything at all, he gains pleasure from just seeing you do things when you are unaware you’re being perceived. Only with your permission, of course, and it will take him a long time to approach you with the request for your consent to act on that desire because he is deeply anxious you will think him a dirty animal.
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
Absolutely no firsthand experience, but has read every novel he can find on the human form and romance. There is much he wishes to try, but very little he knows how to act out. He is a very quick and very eager learner.
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
Missionary, though he will hold his weight up to avoid crushing you (his arms never tremble under his own weight due to his strength, but his torso will tremble whenever you touch him). Needs to look into your eyes, gaze into your soul and know that you are still present in the moment with him, see that you hold nothing but love for him on your countenance.
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
Goofiness is a foreign concept to Adam. He is far more inclined to feel humiliated and ashamed if he makes the most mild mistake during intimacy, but when he realises that your giggles are filled with fondness and not disapproval, he will adore that he can bring such a sound from you even in intimate moments and you will notice a shy smile appear on his face.
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
Prefers to let all of his body hair grow as it is the only part of his own body he has grown himself, chosen to keep as his own. Adam does everything in his power to keep his hair clean and tidy for you, however, because he does not want you to ever consider him unkempt.
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
Incredibly intimate and romantic, the deepest connection he is capable of feeling and he basks in it each and every occasion. Every inhalation and exhalation is a psalm devoted to breathing you in. Every passing thought and notion is in dedication of worshiping you.
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
Does not encounter lustful feelings prior to meeting you and allowing himself to explore them, so had never considered pleasuring himself. Once comfortable with you, Adam would much rather share moments of desire with you, as opposed to indulging in them alone; that is still a somewhat perverse idea to him that he isn’t the most comfortable with, but when you introduce the activity of mutual masturbation…that is a very intriguing idea to the voyeur in him.
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
As per the dirty secret section, mostly things pertaining to voyeurism. Might be tempted into panty sniffing too, but not in the creepy traditional sense, more so in his mind the poetry of smelling the very essence of you and reminiscing with the utmost fondness on tasting that same sweetness.
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
Anywhere private where you will not be disturbed. To begin with, Adam is against the idea of making love anywhere other than in the bed you share, but once you show him the wonders of the floor in any room in your shared home - chairs, sofas, any flat surface available - the world is filled with more wonders than he had ever known. Outside of your own home, the only place he would be willing to enjoy nakedness with you would be in a stream far from the village, where in the depths of nature you can be one.
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
Adam would not be so crass as to devolve his desire for you with such terms as “turn ons”; he is an old-fashioned gentleman, and he will tell you without a shadow of a doubt that every facet of your very being sets his deadened nerves on the most blissful fire, that only you have ever made his cursed heart feel like it belongs in his chest when it beats for you, and there will never be an occasion during the rest of his existence when he would be unavailable to tend to your every need and worship you in whatever method should please you most.
He will also claim it is his body betraying his mind when merely embracing you results in an obnoxious tent in his trousers.
N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
Harm you. He will grope and squeeze and leave marks of tenderness, but he will not spank. He will cradle your neck and gently curl his fingers tighter, but he will not choke.
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
Giving. There is nothing - and I cannot stress this enough - that this man adores more than having his face buried between your thighs. Gulping down the sweetest honey from the most sacred garden, groaning prayers into your slick flesh; he will spend hours, days, weeks devouring you and will only stop when you are too sensitive for him to continue. His only complaint, should be search the recesses of his mind for one, would be that he cannot have his tongue tending to you for the rest of eternity.
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
Slow and sensual by default, but should the mood turn particularly feral with need, Adam is more than capable of adjusting the pace to break bed-frames.
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
Would much prefer taking his time with you, but as long as he feels he has met your needs (his are met each and every moment spent in your presence), he is not opposed to briefer intimacies.
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
Risks by nature do frighten Adam where you are concerned. The last thing he ever wants to do is risk you in any sense of the word. He will listen intently and be willing to explore new things with you intimately, but not anything that poses a high chance of you being harmed.
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
Super strength and durability speaks for itself. Adam can and will go until you cannot take anymore, and even then if he has your established consent he will spend the rest of the night with his head between your legs while the rest of your body recovers.
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
Given the time period Adam is from, the idea of toys is an…unconventional, somewhat alien one. Despite common misconception, the notion of toys does not bring this man insecurity; he understands the practical value of tools with a purpose, and would be happy to use any on you that you hold affection for, but he does not have any interest in toys being used on himself, your body is more than he ever dared to dream he would be allowed to touch.
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
Teases you entirely without intention: does not consider when he carries an entire tree on his back, builds an extension to your home with his bare hands, makes any display of brute force - that he is inadvertently arousing you. Becomes very bashful when you first inform him of this revelation, but is delighted to his very core. Will hold a secret smile to himself every time he indulges in a form of physical labour afterwards if he knows you are watching.
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
Oh. Every sound (moans, groans, whimpers, whines, heavy panting) between man or beast will fall from Adam’s lips and directly into your ear.
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
In every area of his relationship with you, he strives for nothing but gentleness, tenderness; to have the companionship he has spent his miserable existence yearning for is beyond his wildest dreams and he will remind you of this in every touch and kiss. Your hand reaching for his will bring him to his knees. Adam is worshipful of your every whim, and for that, he may be perceived as a submissive lover - this is not entirely true. In the romantic sense, yes, he most certainly is, but the intimacy in you trusting him to take care of you? In letting him move your body to whichever position he decides? In bestowing him the honour of commanding your pleasure? None have ever granted Adam control of anything, so gentle dominance is something he finds with you that he discovers is incredibly attractive to him.
X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes
Let’s ask the class: if a “heterosexual” man built a man using the most aesthetically pleasing features he could find on male corpses, do we think he’d have chosen to make his example of peak masculinity hung like a horse?
