Aether

Ahhh, I know, these have been done 10 million times, but i noticed i was struggling to find ones specifically designed to help develop a ship. Which is what I use these for. So here's an ask game specifically designed to help you develop a new ship or get back in touch with an old ship.

Whilst this is an ask game, you dont have to treat it perfectly like one. Feel free to copy and paste these and fill them in on your notes app or take turns filling these in in dms with your friends. :)

What appeals you to the ship? Is it based off of canon interaction, personal headcanons, or are you not sure?

What are the character's usual types? Is it one another or are they taking a chance on smth new?

What do they like about one another? Include both physical and personality traits, anything they like.

In what areas would they help one another grow?

What type of dynamic do you see them having? Are they fluffy or steamy? Are they soulmates or doomed to fail?

Which character developed feelings first? And is there a specific moment or way this could've happened?

Which character confessed their feelings first? And how was it? What did they do? How were they feeling?

What was their first date like?

What are their love languages?

Do they have anything they dont like about one another? Any annoying habits or bad incidents in the past?

How would they deal with those things? Do they have open communication or do they just bottle it up?

What interests/hobbies would they have in common?

What interests/hobbies would they try and get the other into? Would they succeed or not?

What are their core values?

Would they adopt pets together? How many? What animal(s)? Did they disagree on the animal(s)?

What would they do to surprise one another?

Is there a couple from another piece of media you could use as a reference?

How fast do they each tend to move in relationships? Does one rush into things whilst the other takes their time? How would they find a compromise?

Do they have any fears or set backs in terms of relationships?

Leave the ship behind for a moment, what are some headcanons you have for them as individuals in relationships? Silly quirks, or any tendencies they need to quit? Are they selfish or a people-pleaser?

Would they get into fights? What over, and how do they move forward?

What would their friends and family think of their relationship? Are they supportive or not too keen?

Is marriage something thats in their future? Do they want to get married? Do they not want to get married? Do they break up before it happens?

Would they want to have kids at some point? Or do they already have them?

Try and think of either 3 silly or angsty headcanons for them as a couple? Depending on the dynamic of the ship, could be anything at all. If you cant think of 3, thats fine.

How would they celebrate things like birthdays, valentines day, anniversaries, etc..? Do they even celebrate them at all?

BONUS OPTIONAL QUESTIONS!

For steamy pairs, how compatible are they in the bed room?

For toxic pairs, would they ever break up? Why or why not?

For immortal pairs, have they known one another throughout history? Were they always able to be together?

For cross-species pairs, what are some ways their different species traits impact their relationship? What silly inconveniences or mishaps happen when a vampire & a werewolf date? Or a fairy and a mermaid? Etc..

Step 1: make the herb infused oil

Recipe from Mountain Rose Herbs

Place dried herbs in a clean, dry glass jar. Leave at least 1 to 3 inches of space above the herbs for the oil.

Fill the remaining space in the jar with an oil of choice (I use olive oil), make sure to cover the herbs by at least 1 inch. If the herbs emerge above the surface of the oil at any point during the infusing period, top off with more oil to ensure the herbs are submerged.

Cap the jar tightly and shake well.

Place jar on a sunny windowsill and shake at least once per day.

After 2 to 3 weeks of infusion, strain the herbs out of the oil using a cheesecloth or a mesh strainer. Make sure to squeeze out as much of the infused oil as possible!

Pour into a clean glass container.

I label all my herbal jars with the date strained and stored, the type of oil, and the herbs used.

Store in a cool, dark place. The oil may keep for up to a year. Vitamin E oil at a concentration of up to 1% may also be added to prolong shelf life for oils to be used topically.

Step 2: make the salve

Recipe from Mountain Rose Herbs

Ingredients

1 oz beeswax (local preferred)

Herbal oil for preferred consistency: 4 oz for a standard salve, 5 oz for a soft salve, 6 oz for a gooey salve

10-20 drops essential oil of choice for scent (optional)

Direction:

I buy the 1 lb beeswax bars for cheaper. Wrap the beeswax bar in an old towel that you're willing to sacrifice for the cause. On a sturdy surface (I do this on my kitchen floor), use a hammer to break the bar up into small chunks. Then measure out 1 oz with a kitchen scale.

Place beeswax in a double boiler and gently warm over low heat until the beeswax melts completely into liquid. You can get a double boiler for pretty cheap on Amazon. Or you can improvise by filling a bigger saucepan with a couple of inches of water, put a smaller sauce pan in it and let it sit over the water, bring the water to a boil, then lower the heat to as low as the water will continue boiling.

Add the herbal oil and stir over low heat until well-mixed.

Remove from heat and add the essential oil (optional).

Quickly pour the still warm mixture into prepared containers (I highly recommend using a drizzle spoon), let cool completely to room temperature before putting the lids on.

Let the salve set overnight before using. Store in a cool location.

The salves I have made so far are stinging nettle, peppermint, lavender, and arnica. For the ouchies that tend to come with the cold months of the year (especially for us arthritis spoonies), stinging nettle and arnica salves are soothing reliefs. Peppermint and lavender salves are lovely healing for those pesky cold weather skin conditions.

Here is a comprehensive how-to demonstration video on salve making by Maria Noël Groves (I have one of her books) that you can follow along:

Longing From Afar Prompts

✭ watching them laugh with someone else and feeling your heart reach toward them like a plant straining for sunlight it knows it will never touch.

✭ the way your eyes always find them in a room, like your heart installed a tracking chip and didn’t ask permission.

✭ them brushing past you with a polite smile, completely unaware that the single second of eye contact was the brightest moment of your week.

✭ rereading old messages from them, not to torture yourself (okay maybe a little), but because their words still feel like warmth trapped in pixels.

✭ catching the ghost of their perfume in a hallway and stopping, breath stolen, because for half a second it felt like they were right there.

✭ pretending not to notice them while memorizing every detail. How they tuck their hair, how they fidget with their sleeves, how their laugh rises and falls.

✭ sitting across the room, both of you immersed in your own worlds, but every now and then they look up and your heart stumbles over itself because they almost smiled at you.

“Listen, if I pass out…”

“If you let up pressure, I’ll bleed out. So just, don’t move.”

"You know how schizophrenics have a much lower life expectancy than the general population?" she said. We do. For a combination of various reasons that I won't get into here - that's not what this post is about - people diagnosed with schizophrenia die earlier than people without schizophrenia, statistically speaking. Apparently my mom knows this too. And she has read up on it. Why do we die. What can be done.

Most of the contributing factors are not something my mom has any shot at affecting or controlling. But one of them stood out to her. Not a major one admittedly, but still it was mentioned. A lot of us don't eat enough or don't eat varied enough. We generally don't get enough fruits and vegetables, because when you're severely mentally ill and also likely to be poor, that's just not a realistic priority for a lot of people.

I experienced months of brain inflammation! it has left me with many lasting physical and mental side effects.

I also have bipolar disorder. my bipolar disorder is just not the same. my bipolar disorder majorly sucks and is one of the most disabling parts of my life! but it is not the same. it is not the same. it is not the same.

when I hear "the brain is an organ, disabilities caused by it can be physical" my first thoughts are multiple sclerosis, traumatic brain injuries, and encephalitis survivors. when some of you say that you actually mean "my depression is the same kind of disability as cerebellar ataxia."

my take on prisoner lucanis. (sorry i want him pathetic.)

- lucanis didn't have his armor and refused to wear venatori clothes. (maybe spite influenced this decision a little.) so rook gave him his cape and boots. (for himself, rook took the boots off the body of some random venatori.)

- he was in a very bad shape. for obvious reasons. skinny but still had some muscles. also the beard is longer and no cool haircut.

- was thinking about adding some changes to the story. what if lucanis' blood veil was with calivan?? and he used it in the fight?? "deactivating" lucanis or making him attack rook or rook's companion?? then rook destroys it, lucanis is free and helps you to beat calivan's ass or something like that idk.

and i say 'make love' and not 'lose his virginity' or 'have sex', because i fully believe that's how he sees it - the concept of virginity likely means nothing to him, has never concerned him, and his feelings for Rook go so far beyond the mechanics or urges for sex. this is THE culmination of all his yearning - to be close to them, to be vulnerable with them, to pour himself and his feelings into them and know without a doubt they'll be there with love and open arms to receive it and give the same to him. this man is SMITTEN.

he knows it's going to be over in a matter of seconds (it is). he knows it'll probably be awkward (it's not, he's shocked by how much it's not). he knows they need to sleep, they'll be putting their bodies through hell soon enough. but none of that matters anymore because he has the love of his goddamn life back, healthy and whole and falling into his arms. they have the rest of their lives (however long that is) to get better at this part. so yeah, he's going to have his three seconds of love making and he's going to soak in an entire night of their company and connection and conversation when they should be sleeping, he's going to greedily take every single moment he can, because he's done denying himself. they love and accept him, and he's starting to love and accept himself, too.

this line from tevinter nights:

and this line to trigger lucanis' romance:

Still always tripping over new bits of Veilguard ambient dialogue, and the one I tripped over on the check-through before kicking off Tearstone Island actually had someone asking the question I never had satisfactorily answered. And it turned out kind of sweet, all things considered:

Taash: Are the Wardens angry that you sent the griffons to the Dalish?

Davrin: They're not happy, but given how the griffons almost went extinct, they didn't have a leg to stand on.

Taash: But the Dalish are happy?

Davrin: The griffons are natural protectors. They fit with the Dalish like they always belonged there.

Taash: Huh.

Davrin: What?

Taash: The Dalish lost you ... but they got the griffons.

Taash is very interesting in how they show how they value their teammates. It can be hard to tell how they feel, as I guess is evident from the people who still seem to think of them as a "petulant teenager". But ... like...

Harding: With Harding, if you're not romancing Taash, Harding's obvious.

Emmrich: Taash will actually discuss "death mage" stuff with Emmrich and even consider his comments about how maybe Shathann wasn't the best teacher, particularly for someone like Taash. I think in the end it's that they let Emmrich be a teacher again. Sure, Bellara does the same sort of, but with those two it's more a conversation among peers, whereas Taash gets to explore another part of Rivaini culture - the Rivaini comfort with spirits - by examining it from the vantage point of a Navarran, another culture comfortable with spirits (even if Nevarrans are way more comfortable with the corpses walking around than Taash is personally comfortable with on the grounds of their Qunari understanding of the body as an empty shell after death).

Neve: Taash trusts Neve enough to offer their blood. That particular bit of ambient dialogue feels to me like Taash knows that it's a thing that could be dangerous but just trusts Neve to not do anything bad with it.

Lucanis: Makes absolutely zero deal about his being possessed, and in fact helps by teaching Spite about boundaries. Also is really, really interested in the Crows, so both parts of Lucanis' potential anxiety about being in a team that might not look at abominations or assassins favourably are dealt with in one very large enthusiastic package.

Bellara: I haven't spent much time with those two together, but when they do interact with Bellara, it's a protective and a teaching sort of thing. Taash doesn't take it personally when Bellara's side-eyeing them about the Lords' taking Dalish artefacts, and I think Bellara's one of the few that they're really honest with about how they deal with Shathann's death. Mostly because Bellara's the only one who asked, but whatever.

Davrin: Friendly competition aside, Taash has always been on hand to reassure Davrin, even when he didn't need reassuring. The whole thing about, "You never told me you're a spirit! It's okay! I'm Rivaini! We're good with spirits! You don't have to be ashamed of who you are!" gives a vibe of "they a bit confused, but they got the spirit" ... no pun intended. And then the above: Taash considers Davrin joining the Wardens to be a loss to the Dalish clans that can only be somewhat mitigated by an entire feather-brigade of griffons. It seems to be the first time that Davrin ever considered that the Dalish might be even just the tiniest bit poorer because he's not with them.

I have feelings about Taash, okay? I'm not usually this vociferous when I feel that a character got a raw deal from the audience, but ... they get such a raw deal. The ones who view them as a "petulant teenager", the ones who see them as the video game character equivalent of a "DEI hire", as proof that Bioware "went woke" (dude, Bioware has been woke since the beginning, fuck off) ... they're missing so much nuance. I like Taash because nonbinary representation; I love Taash because of what they bring to the narrative - views of the other characters that we wouldn't get otherwise. Taash asks questions that no one else would, partly because they were raised by a scholar and really wants to be sure of what's going on around them - to do it right - and partly because they care and because Shathann wasn't great with emotions, that's the only way they know how to show it.

Veilguard:

Neve was trained as a mage by the ruling classes and chooses to live in Docktown, a slum. Works with Shadow Dragons, a revolutionary group trying to free Tevinter’s slaves. Is a detective to help marginalised people get justice. Constantly talks about the oppression of Tevinter’s poor and how they’re mistreated even in death.

Lucanis is a rich boy assassin who still believes in fair, living wage.

Emmrich grew up dirt poor, became well off as an academic, and continues to give money and food to impoverished and homeless people. Thinks Nevarra’s rich are best when they’re dead and entombed. Hates slavery (of the living at least). Believes in the dignity of the dead (unless they’re Venatori). Hates the use of blood magic because it’s unethical and denies bodily autonomy.

Bellara spends most of her life archiving and fixing elven artefacts in order to preserve the forcibly destroyed history of her people.

Davrin believes that the most hardened criminals can still positively contribute to society as Grey Wardens.

Taash said trans rights, fuck authority, fuck oppressors, steal from the rich, be gay. And help and form community with refugees.

And I don't know man, I don't think that's a big worry. Like, could they? Sure. But nothing about Lucanis' story or the other story in Tevinter Nights that revolves around Crows does that. It just gives a top-down view of the Crows, not a bottom-up one.

The Crows were always, in theory, an outgrowth of a group that tried to uphold Justice and the Antivan Way, or whatever. It was always Antiva's shadow military. That's not new lore. It's not surprising to find Crows that believe they're righteous.

And Lucanis very much was beaten and abused. His grandmother trained him, and she used beatings and the withholding of food and water in doing so. He doesn't seem to have much faith in the Crows as an agent of good. To quote from the Wigmaker Job (Tevinter Nights),

Illario: "This isn't Antiva. We're not heroes here." Lucanis: "We're not heroes anywhere, cousin."

and later:

The Antivan Crows were assassins not freedom fighters. Back home, people liked to romanticize, but Lucanis knew what he was.

Spirits and Demons are essentially the same, yes, and I think there's much to be said about this in in parallel to a healthy person vs a deeply traumatized person, but to quote Neve, "one is more likely to manipulate you, or kill you," etc etc.

A demon is a spirit who's purpose has been twisted. And I don't think Spite's purpose has been twisted much at all.

Determination's purpose is "accomplish my goal (whatever that may be)". Spite (the emotion)'s purpose is exactly the same, with the added benefit of "especially against the wishes of others".

I think the demonic version of Determination would be "Ruthlessness", not Spite.

Spite (the guy) is not wholly consumed by his purpose like other "demons" are. He doesn't pursue his goals at the expense of his companions. He has several other interests even if they seem a little silly (learning what tastes good, or even new forms of combat like fire). And he tells us his purpose several times...it's his promise with Lucanis! Escape, kill, and live! This goal is one of determination and it has not changed by his becoming Spite. The goal is not warped in any way even with his joining to Lucanis.

Bellara speculates as to why Spite doesn't just take Lucanis over or turn him into a nasty mound of flesh. I want to argue that this is because Spite is a named spirit, not a demon.

What's more spiteful than not allowing your captors to change you? What says fuck you to people who would use you as a tool than self-determination? What's more spiteful than being determined to be free, to fight who would enslave you, to live?

My working theory is that Spite is not a demon in the same sense as, say, Wisdom being corrupted into Pride, which twists a desire to guide, teach, or navigate situations with care into a desire to be right and unchallenged.

accomplish my goal

TO

accomplish my goal (especially against the wishes of others)

...does not involve a twisting away from the initial purpose ("accomplish my goal"). In fact, the goal itself has not changed. While Ruthlessness might lose sight of what it attempted to achieve as it might carry out its actions, the entity known as Spite is resolute. Determined, even.

So you have the three big taxonomies of demonhood that Thedas has access to right now:

All spirits are demons

All MALICIOUS spirits are demons

Spirits twisted against their purpose are demons (defined that way by Solas in Inquisition)

I posit that the way that Zara Renata and the Venatori were measuring whether they had successfully corrupted a spirit was by assessing its MALICE. Thus, Spite was not pushed further away from his original purpose, because:

The Venatori saw no need to keep pushing; the "demon" would burst from Lucanis at some point no matter what (and/or it was just a failed experiment)

Lucanis and Spite existed in a feedback loop where their determination to survive and spite the people who had put them there... gave Spite a greater ability to remain the way he was.

It's just that normally, when you torture people and then call spirits to them, you're not usually going to end up with...