Seek & Avoid

I DID THIS IM VERY PROUD OF IT YOU KNOW WHY

BECAUSE

WAIT FOR IT

Gold ring, greybeard, trippin’ on the mushrooms

Blood-mad Nazgul trashin’ the hotel room

We don’t care

We got to Rivendell across the stream

And everybody’s like

Mountains, dwarf mines, presents from the Elf Queen

Rowboats, rock paths, Gollum on a rope leash

We don’t care

Which said a lot, actually. I've never had a psychiatric professional involved in my care state or imply that they're safe, beneficial places. I've been lucky, yes, but the sheer number of people I am talking about...of the ones I've spoken to about this, if none of them want to send people there or think of it as a good thing, that's really saying something. I had one say "If you are in crisis, do anything else you can before going to [clinic name]; if someone tries to have you sent inpatient, have them send you anywhere else; but do not go to [clinic name]. Just...please trust me." It was the place where he did his residency, and the hospital extension of the place he now worked. (Low income clinic, he was a sweet man doing good and necessary work, but the place overall was 1/5.)

The psychiatry system has treated me well, but I have been careful and I have been lucky and I am privileged in that my issues don't manifest in ways that tend to put me at risk, and in that I am extraordinarily deft at putting medical professionals at ease and advocating for myself and covering my bases (bring an advocate into the room if I plan on disclosing thoughts of self harm or suicide and make sure the people know that this person is there to make sure I am safe, referring to where I am at on my safety plan and what I plan to do next, doing remote appointments when possible and using fake background filters telling them about a partner/family member/friend who is being regularly updated on my current status -- but a lot of that shit requires composure on my part, an ability to mask).

So my actual TEXTBOOK admitted that it was biased and teaching these disorders based on opinion and not up to date research. And, as described above, the section on ODD was basically just, “these are bad kids. We will not look into why or how or what comorbidities exist and we will also not be exploring the possibility of ODD really being a manifestation of trauma/undiagnosed adhd/autism/pathological demand avoidance/persistent drive for autonomy. We will however be mostly focusing on how annoying these kids are to their parents and teachers ✨️”

It’s fucking crazy. “Yeah we know lots of people with autism struggle to follow demands. They may either ignore/not register demands or have meltdowns when demands are placed. They may engage in physical aggression, verbal aggression, and property desctruction when directed to complete tasks or be exposed to uncomfortable sensory input. They may need to know the why behind demands and consequently argue with authority figures. They may be easily upset by sensory input or social interactions and have emotional outbursts when pushed beyond their limits. Some children with autism seek attention and may engage in maladaptive behaviors to elicit the attention of peers and caregivers if positive attention is not given freely/if they are ignored when behaving appropriately. All of these are symptoms of their underlying neurological differences and should be met with compassion and understanding. They are not bad children. Their brains process information differently and therefore they have executive functioning, sensory processing, and emotional regulation challenges that cause these behaviors.

How would you even measure that?

Things adults wrongly identify as arguing:

Asking for clarification

Asking any kind of question

defending yourself

answering a question teh adult has just asked you

breathing

Existing

Oh, also:

Race and the Mental Representation of Individuals Diagnosed with Oppositional Defiant Disorder: Implications for Diagnosis

Pathologizes problems with authority to dismiss them as irrational.