Frustrated Ambassador @zhenya-grey - Tumblr Blog

you are white before you are trans and i feel like some of y'all forget that

#slams this down on my blog. I may make it my pinned for a while

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zhenya-grey

People who are assholes online are assholes IRL.

People who are bigots online are bigots IRL.

Never forget that.

"well nobody is really mean like this IRL where I am" because if they were they'd likely get attacked or something so they say it online and work behind the scenes where you don't see it.

You can't "it's just online nobody is actually being hurt by this" your way out of it.

Folks on sites like 4chan and kiwifarms and others who do harm hope you think people only act this way online so they can keep getting away with it.

Friendly reminder that alot of these people can vote and other stuff that systemically tries to control or kill us.

rainyloreinfinity

Raising great points as always. We appreciate you, Zhenya.

zhenya-grey

Aw thank you 🥺

My problem is connecting to people incorrectly.

If you meant it casual, if you didn't mean forever, if you didn't want to make it something serious, tell me that, don't make me believe I found someone I can live my life with.

If people weren't FUCKING LIARS I probably wouldn't be so upset about it.

#relationship #vent

souf-vs-staff

You should be able to listen to a full album without looking at your phone. You should be able to watch a 3 hour film from beginning to end without checking social media. If you can't do this, you need to start training your attention span as if it were a physical muscle. I don't experience boredom or restlessness because I've trained my brain to not be dependent on quick stimuli and dopamine hits. If you can't chill on a park bench while waiting for a friend with just your imagination to keep you company, you need to learn how to do it ASAP because one day we may not have access to the internet.

zhenya-grey

you trained to do that. Very nice. I keep getting told it's impossible to never be bored.

As a person who started off never being bored...

I fear boredom is learned. You can learn not to be.

@brightlotusmoon @boyslit pointing at you two aggressively 🫵

brightlotusmoon

I have been training myself to not be bored, although I'm not sure I've ever truly been bored.

I actually asked my roommates how boredom felt to her, and while she was explaining I realized that I couldn't really relate, because my inner mind just constantly creates things for me to play with.

zhenya-grey

I don't have to really think or create things to play with, I can just sit there idle like my mind's screen is off.

Needing constant stimuli means you do get bored, because if you didn't do that with your mind, you'll experience it.

brightlotusmoon

Aha, I see! Taking notes. It's interesting that only in the last couple of years I've been able to just sit and let my mind idle.

zhenya-grey

Doing it while sober will be the ultimate test. I recommend practicing it that way for best results, because being high allows easier mind idling

brightlotusmoon

You know, I have found that I've done it without any meds, like within the last year. That is fascinating to me. All by myself. Although I swear I get a screen saver of colors.

zhenya-grey

That's kinda how I feel when I idle, just, casual screensaver of colors. Not really any form of entertainment, just a mind visual of chilling out

zhenya-grey

I can't believe this needs to be said but

Not all intersex people identify as queer/LGBT.

Respect them too, please.

zhenya-grey

Honestly yeah, and they want to claim our terms and our identities and our hardships and.

I wish it was just a small amount of people doing this but it's spreading. Because people didn't take it seriously.

lostaeonofthepleroma

Agreed. Feels like that one handshake meme. "Being Black 🤝 Being intersex: people will appropriate and misuse your terms, culture, etc., but won't stand in solidarity with you when things get tough."

Like, I remember seeing people say stuff all the way back in the 2000s/2010s about calling themselves "intersex" or even the h-slur because of the hormones they were taking, or even worse, they called themselves that thinking we somehow had it easier. 🙄 Frustrating.

I wish it was a small vocal minority, too, but even the majority won't call out blatant intersexism.

zhenya-grey

And don't forget f**a!!! white queers steal that one from intersex Japanese/Asian people (I can't remember if it was just Japanese so feel free to correct me)

Also 🤝 as an Arab. If I have to see "inshallah" (InshaaAllah, in shaa Allah, the video covers what goes where and what it means) being used incorrectly one more time by non Muslims I'm gonna SCREAM

lostaeonofthepleroma

That term, oh my god! It's literally Japanese for "two halfs/two parts", not "transgender woman". It's basically "h*rm*phrodite" in English, but I don't see white queers using "sh*m*le" for themselves, despite that being an actual slur against trans women. Not saying that they should, of course, but stop using "f******i" to describe yourselves while also throwing intersex people under the bus. 🙄

Thanks for the video, btw. I didn't know it was spelled wrong when I see it being used around and have written it out like that before. I'm not Arab afaik, but I was raised Muslim, so you'd think I'd know better. I will keep that in mind, too!

zhenya-grey

Some trans women won't even let other trans women use femboy so that's where we are rn. It's ridiculous.

And no prob! I'm glad I can help

lostaeonofthepleroma

Ikr? I've seen some of those posts, too about femboy being a slur that no one should use, and sure, that's fine. Don't say it, say it to refer to yourself... Whatever... but it's so weird to see that discourse, and then see perisex trans women call themselves 「二形」(f*****"i) "Let's not use femboy, because that's a slur, but we can use the Japanese slur instead." Like, what's the logic there???

Idk. It just makes me super uncomfortable to see people casually dropping the f-slur in those circles due to being called that by racist, orientalist guys who were interested in my body, race, and variation when I was younger. (I hung around a lot of weeaboos and social outcasts growing up on the internet. I found out what 二形 meant before intersex lol. Not even my own family said that.)

But yeah, it's dire out here.

zhenya-grey

Whew, I'm sorry you went through that. I had a chaser stalker on me as well, that I have scars from. I totally understand.

Bigots make no sense, and they never will.

And yes to anyone reading, you can be a minority and be a bigot, you can be bigoted to your own group too.

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souf-vs-staff

You should be able to listen to a full album without looking at your phone. You should be able to watch a 3 hour film from beginning to end without checking social media. If you can't do this, you need to start training your attention span as if it were a physical muscle. I don't experience boredom or restlessness because I've trained my brain to not be dependent on quick stimuli and dopamine hits. If you can't chill on a park bench while waiting for a friend with just your imagination to keep you company, you need to learn how to do it ASAP because one day we may not have access to the internet.

zhenya-grey

you trained to do that. Very nice. I keep getting told it's impossible to never be bored.

As a person who started off never being bored...

I fear boredom is learned. You can learn not to be.

@brightlotusmoon @boyslit pointing at you two aggressively 🫵

brightlotusmoon

I have been training myself to not be bored, although I'm not sure I've ever truly been bored.

I actually asked my roommates how boredom felt to her, and while she was explaining I realized that I couldn't really relate, because my inner mind just constantly creates things for me to play with.

zhenya-grey

I don't have to really think or create things to play with, I can just sit there idle like my mind's screen is off.

Needing constant stimuli means you do get bored, because if you didn't do that with your mind, you'll experience it.

brightlotusmoon

Aha, I see! Taking notes. It's interesting that only in the last couple of years I've been able to just sit and let my mind idle.

zhenya-grey

Doing it while sober will be the ultimate test. I recommend practicing it that way for best results, because being high allows easier mind idling

zhenya-grey

I can't believe this needs to be said but

Not all intersex people identify as queer/LGBT.

Respect them too, please.

zhenya-grey

Honestly yeah, and they want to claim our terms and our identities and our hardships and.

I wish it was just a small amount of people doing this but it's spreading. Because people didn't take it seriously.

lostaeonofthepleroma

Agreed. Feels like that one handshake meme. "Being Black 🤝 Being intersex: people will appropriate and misuse your terms, culture, etc., but won't stand in solidarity with you when things get tough."

Like, I remember seeing people say stuff all the way back in the 2000s/2010s about calling themselves "intersex" or even the h-slur because of the hormones they were taking, or even worse, they called themselves that thinking we somehow had it easier. 🙄 Frustrating.

I wish it was a small vocal minority, too, but even the majority won't call out blatant intersexism.

zhenya-grey

And don't forget f**a!!! white queers steal that one from intersex Japanese/Asian people (I can't remember if it was just Japanese so feel free to correct me)

Also 🤝 as an Arab. If I have to see "inshallah" (InshaaAllah, in shaa Allah, the video covers what goes where and what it means) being used incorrectly one more time by non Muslims I'm gonna SCREAM

lostaeonofthepleroma

That term, oh my god! It's literally Japanese for "two halfs/two parts", not "transgender woman". It's basically "h*rm*phrodite" in English, but I don't see white queers using "sh*m*le" for themselves, despite that being an actual slur against trans women. Not saying that they should, of course, but stop using "f******i" to describe yourselves while also throwing intersex people under the bus. 🙄

Thanks for the video, btw. I didn't know it was spelled wrong when I see it being used around and have written it out like that before. I'm not Arab afaik, but I was raised Muslim, so you'd think I'd know better. I will keep that in mind, too!

zhenya-grey

Some trans women won't even let other trans women use femboy so that's where we are rn. It's ridiculous.

And no prob! I'm glad I can help

souf-vs-staff

You should be able to listen to a full album without looking at your phone. You should be able to watch a 3 hour film from beginning to end without checking social media. If you can't do this, you need to start training your attention span as if it were a physical muscle. I don't experience boredom or restlessness because I've trained my brain to not be dependent on quick stimuli and dopamine hits. If you can't chill on a park bench while waiting for a friend with just your imagination to keep you company, you need to learn how to do it ASAP because one day we may not have access to the internet.

zhenya-grey

you trained to do that. Very nice. I keep getting told it's impossible to never be bored.

As a person who started off never being bored...

I fear boredom is learned. You can learn not to be.

@brightlotusmoon @boyslit pointing at you two aggressively 🫵

brightlotusmoon

I have been training myself to not be bored, although I'm not sure I've ever truly been bored.

I actually asked my roommates how boredom felt to her, and while she was explaining I realized that I couldn't really relate, because my inner mind just constantly creates things for me to play with.

zhenya-grey

I don't have to really think or create things to play with, I can just sit there idle like my mind's screen is off.

Needing constant stimuli means you do get bored, because if you didn't do that with your mind, you'll experience it.

Mom just sent me a gen x video and I watched it like "oh no not again" she's like "yeah I raise you like I was raised"

Me: aka not being there the same way your parents weren't there? Being raised by my great grandparents like you were because your parents wouldn't do it either? Just like me? Yeah I bet that made me gen x as fuck

(reblogs off because y'all are GENUINELY irritating about generational stereotyping)

#gen x #my age is millennial but my behavior is not

skitzskitzskitzskitz

ON MY MOMMANEMMMM🫣💟🦄🩷🍡

#THAT'S SO PRETTY I haven't seen style like this since I was a kid

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zhenya-grey

I can't believe this needs to be said but

Not all intersex people identify as queer/LGBT.

Respect them too, please.

zhenya-grey

Honestly yeah, and they want to claim our terms and our identities and our hardships and.

I wish it was just a small amount of people doing this but it's spreading. Because people didn't take it seriously.

lostaeonofthepleroma

Agreed. Feels like that one handshake meme. "Being Black 🤝 Being intersex: people will appropriate and misuse your terms, culture, etc., but won't stand in solidarity with you when things get tough."

Like, I remember seeing people say stuff all the way back in the 2000s/2010s about calling themselves "intersex" or even the h-slur because of the hormones they were taking, or even worse, they called themselves that thinking we somehow had it easier. 🙄 Frustrating.

I wish it was a small vocal minority, too, but even the majority won't call out blatant intersexism.

zhenya-grey

And don't forget f**a!!! white queers steal that one from intersex Japanese/Asian people (I can't remember if it was just Japanese so feel free to correct me)

Also 🤝 as an Arab. If I have to see "inshallah" (InshaaAllah, in shaa Allah, the video covers what goes where and what it means) being used incorrectly one more time by non Muslims I'm gonna SCREAM

#Youtube #also that channel is very educational in general I highly recommend

zhenya-grey

I can't believe this needs to be said but

Not all intersex people identify as queer/LGBT.

Respect them too, please.

zhenya-grey

Honestly yeah, and they want to claim our terms and our identities and our hardships and.

I wish it was just a small amount of people doing this but it's spreading. Because people didn't take it seriously.

#has alt text

People who are assholes online are assholes IRL.

People who are bigots online are bigots IRL.

Never forget that.

"well nobody is really mean like this IRL where I am" because if they were they'd likely get attacked or something so they say it online and work behind the scenes where you don't see it.

You can't "it's just online nobody is actually being hurt by this" your way out of it.

Folks on sites like 4chan and kiwifarms and others who do harm hope you think people only act this way online so they can keep getting away with it.

Friendly reminder that alot of these people can vote and other stuff that systemically tries to control or kill us.

#online is full of people from irl

There's things I would be, if I wasn't me.

I would be a scientist. or a horseback rider. or a prophetic philosophy maker or whatever. or a writer or artist worth people's time. I would be a musician perhaps. I would be a spokesperson, or a technician or an engineer. I would be an astronaut even, or a photographer, perhaps foster life. I would be a swimmer maybe. I wanted to be a pilot. I wanted to be an archer.

so many things I wanted to do. I found out the hard way I can't do any of it.

#disabled grief

I'm pretty sure I had a micro seizure connected to a dream. I just now remembered some of it.

I dreamed I was at an excision concert trying to video some of it on my phone. The flashing light beams were a whitish blue so I think I know which performance it was. But I had a weird little seizure in it and my alarm woke me up and I didn't feel right, like how I feel after a seizure.

I've felt off all day, so it makes sense.

#my weird dreams #seizure dreams #apparently not a thing #well it is now #Grey's palsy

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this-is-trans-joy

everyone loves to hate terfs until they realise that it actually entails rejecting bioessentialism entirely and then suddenly you’re “taking things too seriously” and you “don’t have a sense of humour” like i’m sorry but saying protect the dolls doesn’t make you immune to terfism it has seeped into every corner of mainstream feminism and unless you’re actively searching it out and checking your own biases you will always be at risk of sharing a space with terfs

this-is-trans-joy

“Only women can—” nope. “But all men—” nah. “The divine femininity of—” gonna stop you right there. “Everyone born ama—” if you finish that sentence I’ll kill you. “Men don’t experience—” you’re wrong. “Gender isn’t real but sex is imm—” *loud incorrect buzzer*

It also goes without saying that bioessentialism inherently can’t be trans inclusive no matter how hard you try. “All men including trans men—” probably not. “This is only a woman’s issue—” is it really? “Afabs only—” why? “All trans men are like—” what? what are they like? finish the sentence i dare you.

#thinking you can't be a terf because you're a trans woman is ALSO bioessentialism

zhenya-grey

Happy pride to unpopular trans women like myself.

zhenya-grey

#popularity isn't everything anyway

You're correct, I meant this more in an "unpopular opinion maker" sense haha

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