Not a fan, but a Fan™

Can you imagine the lights going out and accidentally bumping into this door and hearing that shit?! My soul would vacate my body through my asshole

Oh lordy!

I love the mockery of this sound!

Strip Deck Of Many Things

What if it bites me and it dies?

that means you’re poisonous. jesus christ, nate, learn to read.

What if it bites itself and I die?

It’s voodoo.

What if it bites me and someone else dies?

That’s correlation, not causation.

what if we bite each other and neither of us die

that’s kinky

oh my god

this is still my favorite text post collaboration ever

I haven’t seen this post in like 3 years

IT’S BACK IT’S STILL ACTIVE

Dude I remember this post back when I didn’t even have Tumblr. This is great.

This legendary post… on MY dash? Dang.

I FOUND IT

unrelated to last post but topical: as the child of lawyers, I got one thing drilled into me from age 10: don’t fucken talk to cops. never talk to cops.

you cannot win a cop over. you cannot befriend a cop. a cop does not see you as a person, they see you as a perpetrator - you should view them the same.

what on earth

tchaikovsky is proud

In case anyone is baffled by this, there’s a Tchaikovsky piece in which there’s supposed to be a loud sound but he never specified what you should use to make that sound. People have done all kinds of weird shit depending on how they think the sound should, well, sound. Hitting a large piece of wood with a sledgehammer is a relatively conventional one.

This is me