at the risk of being cringe with everything going on — this week, the last six months, the past five years — i keep thinking about that one quote from the great gatsby

“they were careless people…they smashed up things and creatures and then retreated back into their money or their vast carelessness or whatever it was that kept them together, and let other people clean up the mess they had made.”

it’s just every day now, huh.

i have this one big “life rule” i gave myself years ago, to never regret being kind. but i feel another one has been simmering in my subconscious: when in doubt be brave. i was so unsure about doing this one thing for so long until i realized that this prolonged indecision could never be fully rationalized because at its core it was not a matter of understanding what to do, it was fear that needed to be then exposed to its source. not sure about confessing my feelings or moving abroad or meeting someone from the past or being honest? i can’t be unsure forever and there is no absolute right or wrong so i have to be brave. putting her into my mind drawer.