im cured! (is salted and dried with seasonings) 

taking my pet bacterium to the vet (broken flagella) and they put him under a  microscope to put a tiny cone on him

sneak attack 200% crit damage

trust no one who proudly declares themself a mean bully but also trust no one who is adamant that they are always well-intentioned and soft

truly i have no words for how mistrustful i am of people who seem convinced of their own wholesomeness, their own smallness and weakness, with their whole chest. even observing them in passing from a speeding car window they have been among the worst people i have seen both online and in person, in the rare instances they were brazen enough to actually say this out loud irl 

Ok that last one is just to show off

Damn Ms Girl just throated the fuck out of that

Hardest way to tell the word you're The Throat Goat

This is incredibly important.

This is not a png you lied you lied to me