antinous wild

now that the world cup is out of the way can we focus on me instead

The fact of the matter is that I do not want to do it

"do what?" you might wonder. well. [gestures broadly]

let’s all quit our jobs and just go on walks

*trying to pitch public transportation to Americans* it’s like a legal form of texting while driving

here’s my pitch for next doctor who. budget of 5 cents and a dream. a female doctor with female companions and a female master. they will all get horrendously gay for each other. we will make 5 billion dollars. bbc please hire me.

The Murderbot Diaries are a power fantasy about being aromantic and still developing extremely important dedicated emotionally intimate partnerships where you are a top priority in a person's life, equal to their other family or romantic attachments despite your own emotional difficulties. And having guns in your arms

love when cats hear that you've woken up even just a little bit and they're like hiiiiiii oh my god oh my god!!!!! i wrote some poems in the night let me recite them for you. this one is called: screaming and knocking your water bottle off your nightstand

i was actually born as a CD but a wizard turned me into a human to teach me a lesson

Me, pointing to the mirror: Do NOT become The Joker about this. This isn’t even a Condiment Man situation.