to boldly go to class, i guess

Isaac Henderson from Heartstopper is Canonically Aroace

Osemanverse Pride 2025 - aspec characters

💚🤍🩶🖤💜

Isaac Henderson ~ Heartstopper ~ aroace

Yelena Belova ~ Marvel Comics ~ asexual

Todd Chavez ~ Bojack Horseman ~ asexual

Tori Spring ~ Heartstopper ~ asexual

Gwendolyn Poole ~ Gwenpool Marvel Comics ~ aroace

Abbi Singh ~ The Imperfects ~ asexual

Georgia Warr ~ Loveless ~ aroace

Miduchi Tané ~Priory of the Orange Tree ~ aroace

Jughead Jones ~ Archie Comics ~ aroace

Aled Last ~ Radio Silence ~ demisexual

A brief overview of the asexual flag and an unpacking of the controversies surrounding it. See under the cut for a text transcription of the images as well as additional commentary and links to sources. 

You can engage with this post or discuss this in the notes, but I have some ground rules you must follow. Anyone not following these will be blocked, because I have zero interest in debating this stuff. To engage, you must:

Not challenge the word “queer” as a reclaimed identity label

Accept asexuality as belonging within the queer/LGBT+ community regardless of romantic orientation

Accept aromanticism as belonging within the queer/LGBT+ community regardless of sexual orientation

Accept the existence of demisexuality and its inclusion under the asexual umbrella

I feel like those four will likely wield out a lot of the bad actors and exclusionists. If you see someone violating the rules of engagement, do not argue with them. Just @ me so I can block them. 

Keep reading under the cut for the transcript, commentary, and links.

https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/gabrielsanchez/heres-what-its-like-to-identify-as-asexual

Happy Lesbian Day of Visibility! 💗🧡

I made some aspec lesbian flags in celebration!

Flags in order: 1&2. both aro lesbian, 3. ace lesbian, 4. demiromantic lesbian, 5. demisexual lesbian, 6. greyro lesbian, 7. greyace lesbian, 8. aroflux lesbian, 9. aceflux lesbian.

If you'd like me to make any more, please feel free to send me an Ask and I'll see what I can do!

So, here we go.

Respectability politics is a phrase that describes two very closely linked principles: 

First, it blames a marginalized community for its own oppression, and second, it says, “if you just behaved in the way the oppressor class behaves, you would have social freedom and capital as well.”

This results in members of the marginalized group treating anyone they see as not adhering properly to the oppressor class’s values as inferior and unworthy of association.

And since one part of the oppressor class’s values is the violent expulsion and mistreatment of those who do not conform, respectability politics inevitably leads to exclusionary gatekeeping, to the tune of, “look how good we are, because we’re nothing like those people you associate us with.”

This happens in almost every oppressed group. It is most vibrantly researched and understood in terms of Black american communities, but it’s everywhere. 

It happens when the mentally disabled distance ourselves with the physically disabled, claiming that we’re nothing like those people because at least they can still work. It happens when the physically disabled distance ourselves form the mentally disabled, because we’re nothing like those people, because they’re not crazy. It happens when non-muslim Arabs distance ourselves from islam, because we’re nothing liek those people, we’re good christian folk who would never hurt you.

In all cases, instead of saying to overlapping oppressed groups, “you are valuable people, even if your needs are different from my own, and I would be proud to band together to create a stronger force working towards a better world for all of us,” the respectability politician say to the oppressor, “You see? I am not like them. I am safe to elevate to your status. I will not force radical revolution. Let me into your class, and I will make sure the classes still exist by engaging in oppressive behaviour with you.”

Respectability politics is ignoring your own history and culture in favour of the oppressor’s, so that the oppressor will consider assimilating you and you will have the power and safety of being in that oppressive class, rather than abolishing the power structure in its entirety.

So, now that we know what it is, let’s talk about how that relates to asexual, aromantic, and a-spec people.

Limiting ourselves strictly to oppression stemming from not performing the gendered aspects of attraction correctly (also referred to as orientation based oppression), we see a few things.

The “correct” experience of attraction under heterosexism is one of two things:

Be a man who has been identified by others as a man since the moment of birth, attracted exclusively and completely to women, or 

Be a woman who has been identified by others as a woman since the moment of birth, attracted exclusively and completely to men. 

Any divergence from from these two acceptable roles is violently punished by straight hegemony, through any of several avenues: financial, legal, social, medical, etc.

But, there are perhaps not very clear definitions. What does “exclusive” mean? It means, “only; to no others, ever.” That one should be obvious.

But, here’s the more difficult part. What does “completely” mean? It means, “in all the ways Straightness expects of you: sexually, romantically, aesthetically, intimately.”

What evidence do I have of these definitions, you might ask. Well, there are literally thousands of pieces of direct testimony from people both on this website and long before it existed who have been punished for any and all of these aspects of deviation from Straight norms. 

I will provide a small sample here, hopefully enough for anyone interested to begin working from. But this is not a repository of firsthand testimony. This is an explanation of respectability politics.

The negative affects of asexual erasure on what should otherwise be a relatively mentally healthy adolescence

Asexual people face pervasive and directed attacks against themselves and their identities in a near constant landslide that strongly echoes other forms of sexual and gender prejudice.

A spec people are strongly excluded by straight people for being a spec, regardless of other avenues or absences of attraction, and regardless of gender identity.

Asexual people face expulsion from their social and religious groups for coming out.

Asexuality is considered invalid and sinful under western christian doctrine. Depending on the interaction between religion and law in their areas, their marriages can be dissolved.

Asexual people are still actively pathologized by modern medicine, which is used as a valid reason to engage in conversion therapy, instead of a chance to educate.

Asexual and aromantic people’s actual variety and life experiences are ignored in favour of strawmanning all asexual people as chaste and all aromantic people as hypersexual.

Asexuality is well known as an oppressed identity even in respectability focused circles, because it is explicitly not considered a safe cover. Why? Because even in the most skewed samples possible, straight people still think a-spec people are queer. In more reasonably bias-protected samples, the hatred is even more obvious.

The rape of asexual and a spec people in an attempt to cure them of that “dysfunction” is very pervasive, and used to retraumatize rape survivors in the name of protecting the Real And Acceptable LGBT People. 

 This is a very short list of the kinds of often violent discrimination that asexual, aromantic, and a-spec people face. 

So, I believe at this point we can agree that a-spec people are widely persecuted as a direct result of the way their attraction to other people manifests, or more specifically fails to manifest.

In short, a spec people are abused because they aren’t considered proper and correct under heterosexism. 

This finally brings us to the point. Sorry it took so long, but I needed to cover my bases.

What do we call it when a marginalized group is blamed for their own oppression? 

What do we call it when that blaming is explicitly used to recreate oppressive structure in a way that can afford other members of a marginalized group greater social capital for separating themselves from the “bad ones” because at least we’re not like that?

Respectability politics.

That’s why a spec exclusionary behaviour is respectability politics.

Ace Audiobooks

Sometimes ebooks and paperbacks just don’t cut it, during those times you might want an audiobook and I got you covered! 

Not Your Villain

Heart of Iron

Sandry’s Book

First Test

Before the Devil Breaks You

Dreamland Burning

Let’s Talk About Love

Every Heart Is a Doorway

Radio Silence

Carrie Pilby

Afterworlds

Days of Blood and Starlight

Guardian of the Dead

Perfect Rhythm

The Best of All Possible Worlds

A Date with an Angel

Dreams of Shreds and Tatters 

The Lightning-Struck Heart

Santa Olivia

Dust

How to Be a Normal Person

Poison Kiss

Part & Parcel

the witch doesn’t burn in this one

the princess saves herself in this one

Shout out to all the ace lesbians that don’t feel like “real lesbians” because they don’t experience sexual attraction

Shout out to all the ace lesbians that struggled to figure out their identity because they thought their crushes on girls were platonic due to compulsory heterosexuality and internalized homophobia

Shout out to all the ace lesbians that say they’re lesbians because they don’t want to lecture everyone on asexuality but feel guilty about it because they’re erasing a part of their identity

Shout out to all the ace lesbians that get told by non-aces they only ID as ace because of compulsory heterosexuality/internalized homophobia 

Shout out to all the ace lesbians that like sex / don’t like sex / are indifferent to sexual activities

You’re all wonderful. You’re all valid. You’re all welcome here. I know it’s hard but you’re not alone in this!!

It’s ok. You’re not broken. You’re just you.

You follow and reblog from content creators who are anti-asexual and/or anti-aromantic, even if you’re there for non-discourse related content. 

You are critical and suspicious of your asexual and/or aromantic mutuals and followers who do have opinions about the inclusivity of their identity.

You use language that was created within exclusionary groups and you code conversations in a manner that can be read by asexual and/or aromantic people as exclusionary.

You do not allow asexual and/or aromantic people to see themselves in media because it could be “problematic,” without considering how exactly asexual and/or aromantic people may see themselves in media.

You mock terms relevant to asexual and/or aromantic people, taking them out of context and misinterpreting their meaning without listening to the way asexual and/or aromantic people use them. 

You apply terms to asexual and/or aromantic people that are not relevant, and/or you code asexual and/or aromantic people with irrelevant terms to present asexual and/or aromantic people as something they are not.

You (re)blog LGBT content that exclusively involves LGBT identities, with their identity markers only at all times. That communicates to asexual and aromantic people that they don’t belong. They’re not a part of LGBT+

You never (re)blog LGBT content that inclusively involves asexual and/or aromantic people, and/or include asexual and/or aromantic identity markers in content made for the LGBT+ community as a whole.

You write off any traumas experienced by asexual and/or aromantic people as misdirected forms of violence to delegitimize the need for asexual and/or aromantic people to have safe spaces.

You either support asexual and aromantic people, or you don’t. 

Having an opinion at all about the belonging of asexual and aromantic people is not neutrality. Refusing to learn anything about asexual and aromantic people is not neutrality. Ignoring and blocking asexual and aromantic people is not neutrality. Neutrality is not really neutrality.