english-major-in-progress @academic-victim - Tumblr Blog

If I had any amount of talent, I would already be a tyrannical poet.

But I am useless, so whiny backstabbing second in command it is.

...

Any recommendations for single warlords in my area?

#transformers #transformers prime #tyrannical poet #second in command #single warlords in my area #maccadam #macadam

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Working at the Kebab means showing up near your flat between 3 and 6am, wearing black wife-beater, saying goodbyes to 3 grown fucking giant Turks (and one Kazach) as if you just financially ruined Kadir two streets away and plan going after Osman, city's most famous kebab seller and the sworn enemy of every other kebab owner.

I am also very white, very non-threatening, Eastern European girly, so thats that.

#kebab #doner kebab #i am just a girl #also overworked #and tired #joke

Good people, please, in those hard times, remember your favourite kebab workers. Remember how you needed them, wasted, at 3am. Remember as they gave you will to live after a mental breakdown in nearby bar.

Remember, that if you're suffering in this horrendous heatwave, they've already been to hell and came back with spicy sauce and cucumbers.

Please, for the love of everything holly, be kind to them.

Thank ou for coming to my plea talk.

#heatwave #kebab #doner kebab #heat #i'm dying #send help and more iced coffee #thank you #funny?#this is a joke

I'll probably cry myself to sleep today.

As a form or mental cleansing or whatever.

#student life #night shift

Tried to infiltrate a motorbike club (for intel and so I have friends after I finish my licence) and it went a bit too well?

I think one of them is trying to wife me up?

His friends call me sis-in-law? (In my language)

What is my life?!

#motorbike #bikerlife #backpack #backpacked too close to the sun #what should I do now?

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I'm in a state of life when I can't write anything in my flat.

> The dishes are cleaned but there's this one cup that I should clean.

> I know I've reorganised my closet like 3 time but what's one more?

> The shelfs could be dusted again.

> Maybe I can rearrange my transformers collection?

I NEED TO SIT IN SOME RANDOM CAFE TO DO THINGS OR I'M PRODUCTIVE IN ALL THE WRONG WAYS!!!

Plus, I bought a new Kayou Tranaformers cards as a motivation and spent 45 minutes rearranging them in my folder... a lost case, that's what I am.

#university #student life #uni #i'm procrastinating #i need to stop procrastinating #procrastination #transformers #kayou #kayou cards #kayou transformers

Casually took some time off from the page/app I'm helping moderating and stuff, Bossly almost presumed me dead.

No worries, he knows I'm alive, good guy, told me to take some time off and live a life.

Bold of him to assume I have a life...

#university #student life #uni #good boss #time off #almost presumed dead by accident #all is good now

She fell asleep drunk.

Now I am drunk too.

She puked her guts out, now calm.

I'm drunk on my own. Late. Calm.

It's time for sleep.

#poetry #bad poetry #original poetry #original poem #bad poem #poem #poems on tumblr #drunkards poetry #i should not be legally alowed to talk to people

The long patrol is here

I know you're asleep

Dreaming

I can hear you from afar

When you move

Unfeeling

I can hear your breath

You're restless

Squirming

And so I check on you

Still awake

Listening

My Long patrol is here

Until your guts finally calm

Resting

(You're) Sleeping

(I'm) Watching

(We're) still living

#poetry #bad poetry #original poetry #original poem #poem #bad poem #drunkards poetry #poets on tumblr #im scared to go to sleep in case something happens so Long Patrol is here

Tw: vomit, heaving, drinking, ...

You drunk too much

Bowed over the toilet bowl

And I sit sober, eyes wide

Silently, by your side

A friend in need

I know I needed you

When last time our places were switched

I know you, before this I never was ditched

The sink is filthy

The bucket full

You lay there heaving

Tomorrow, I will be one teasing

I sit besides you

Smiling

I know how bad it is to be a drunk looser

And so I move the bucket a bit closer.

#poetry #bad poetry #original poetry #original poem #poem #bad poem #my friend is pretty drunk right now #drunkards poetry #poets on tumblr

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I was a human of earth.

I was a person of dirt.

I was a creature of clay,

Now to a monster I revert.

#poetry #bad poetry #drunkards poetry #poem #original poem #poets on tumblr

I can handle hunger.

The gnawing on my insides.

The emptiness begging to cease.

The deep deep sence of wrongness and void.

I can stomach it all with ease.

What I can't handle is boredom.

The nagging inside my head.

The want of my fingers, seeking to hand

something to my mouth.

My tongue craving the taste of something new.

The boredom is welding my wraith.

And there's nothing for me to do.

#poetry?#poetry #bad poetry #poem #original poem #bad poem #i was hungry while writting half of this. cant remember which one though #literature #drunkards poetry

academic-victim

My coworker is so sweet. He made himself a pizza for dinner and he left half of it without chilli just so I can take a piece. 💙

academic-victim

I take back everything good I've ever said about him. He just called me BOSS in front of the customers.

I'm not his boss.

This counts as a great insult in our job.

Unforgivable...

My coworker is so sweet. He made himself a pizza for dinner and he left half of it without chilli just so I can take a piece. 💙

#night shift

Why do people always come at ass o'clock before closing and request stuff like I like to move it?

I'm not sane enough to move it move it right now, let me close and go to sleep. Please.

#night shift #student life #i can not move it move it #please #let me go to bed #swearing

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I just decided that after a 10 hour long night shift, a singular beer is what is going to fuel me for the rest of the day.

The fridge us full.