Quiet Ramblings (nsfw)

Check me out on Ao3 if you dare.

My next life I want to be the guy in the middle of an MMF relationship. Please direct me to make the best choices in this life that would thus render me eligible for that life. I promise to say/moan/groan/whimper or otherwise verbalize your name (which is, until further instruction is received, for all intents and purposes “god” with a little “g.”) every Xx3 session.

XxOo

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Excerpt Kylux

The guest room was dimly lit by what light from the gloomy day could pass through the heavy opaque drapes. The darkness was bent into deeper shadows by Hux’s angles and lean lines. It dipped into pools around Kylo’s muscles. They flowed together, pools and angles becoming landscapes of pleasure. The two men were quiet, each desperate to plead or moan or say the other’s name as a litany, but knowing it could spell ruin.

The daylight in the master bedroom brightened the room as the dove grey curtains and matching clouds would allow. Two pale forms lay in the bed. Rey had her legs entwined between Rose’s legs, arm cuddling her close. They had fallen asleep while the drizzle still made soothing plinking noises against the glass.

Hux is trying so hard to maintain himself, even as he throws his head back with his eyes crunched shut. It’s so good. Too good. And he cries out for a millisecond that hangs in the air as his body stutters.

Rose wakes abruptly. Instantly alert, she tries to figure out what woke her. No other sounds but she knows that if they’re caught … well. They didn’t know what the trouble would manifest as, but there would be a lot of it. Silently she jostles Rey with her elbow. She too wakes instantly, silently. Using motions and eye flicks, Rose manages to convey that Kylo might be home. They dress in a hurry and Rey urgently backs her to the closet door, slipping her into the dark walk-in.

Hux is as still as he can be with his heart quivering in panic and his mistake lending him a paranoia that tells him someone is in the bedroom. He worries his lower lip between his teeth, the familiar gesture of fight or flight instinct kicking in telling Kylo to tread lightly. They dress as quietly as they can in the dark and Hux looks at his options. The bed is too low to hide under. The only other feasible choice is the closet and if he weren’t trying to potentially save their lives he might have snorted at hiding in a closet literally for fear of being found out as queer.

Rose stands with her ear to the door until she hears Kylo call out and Rey answer as her footsteps start down the stairs. She blows out a puff of breath with a soft “hooph” sound. The sharp hissed gasp behind her almost makes her yelp but she catches herself.

He nearly pisses himself when he hears someone breathe and his startled inhale was involuntary. There’s a gently thudding, scrabbling and a ceiling light comes on blinding him before suddenly fading down to almost a candle light effect.

“Rose!”

“Pastor Hux!”

Below them they can hear Rey and Kylo bickering in the kitchen so they whisper yell.

“What are you doing here?” They ask at the same time and Hux closes his mouth.

“Well…” Rose’s fingertips start tapping against her thigh. 1, 2, 3, 4, 3, 2, 1, 2 with growing rapidity. “The same as you. I think.”

Hux cocks his head at her, puzzled and the taps are so frenzied he can hear them. Gently, slowly, he puts his hand over hers. Her motions die slowly.

“And…” he feels the strangling pressure, flashes on the image from his nightmare - the man struggling in the mirror as he watches himself bring strangled with his white collar - and he nearly pitches forward before shaking his head rapidly and visibly steeling himself. “What do you think I’m doing?” It comes out half fearful and half hopeful. He hopes she’s wrong but…

“I think you’re here for a personal visit.”

He tries to salvage the situation and lamely comes up with, “Don’t tell Kylo. He’d kill me.”

Roses eyes light up and her lips gain a pleased little smirk. “Oh, I don’t think Kylo’s going to kill you. Maybe ol’ man Pryde’ll kill you…” she lets it hang a moment until she sees it in Hux’s eyes. “Because I know you aren’t sharing Rey’s bed.”

His absolute best he can come up with through the friction lock his brain just seized with is, “How do you know?”

She sees his distress and removes her hand from beneath his. She places it over the back of his now and grins. “Because I am in her bed. So you must be in his. If it was any other way you wouldn’t have been shoved into this ridiculous closet - I mean, who needs a walk in that’s shared between rooms anyway!” She trails off realizing her anxiety is leading her down a side track.

“Don’t tell anyone! Please? Rose! Please? You can’t. They’ll kill me. And him. Please!” Hux starts frantically whispering, half ordering her to keep it to herself and half begging.

“Relax! Father! Relax! They’d kill me too, remember? And Rey. I’m not telling anyone.” His heart slows from rabbit-in-an-owl’s-sights to just plain rabbit in the next few moments but then Rose adds, almost to herself, “Well, maybe someone.” The emphasis almost ratchets his pulse to rabbit-in-the-owl’s-claws.

Downstairs, the back and forth continues, rising irritation evident in both voices even if they can’t make out words over their own conversation.

A few minutes go by and Kylo leaves the kitchen for the living room, the door swinging just this side of angry behind him. Another minute and the slower drawn out squeal of the hinges of Rey’s exit is the signal.

They creep down the old stairs, and for once Hux is grateful to the person who built the house with second floor access in the back off of the kitchen. They both give one another a quick spot check, eyes flicking head to foot and they both nod. Together they head for the restaurant-style door, pushing it outwards with a new screech.

Rey is sitting on the couch, leaning deeply into the corner with her legs angled along the front to keep Kylo from sitting too closely. Instead, he’s leaning with his butt on the opposite arm, and his ankles crossed in front of him.

Rose stops a few feet in front of Rey, who is trying her best to hide her confusion and shock but still looks dazed. Hux crosses the room, touching her back as he passes behind her to face Kylo. Now in their places, Rose grins and Hux nods.

Rey makes a soft sound of surprise as Rose seats herself practically on top of Rey. Her backside is between Rey’s hip and the couch but her own thighs are across Rey’s lap as she wraps her arms around Rey’s neck.

Hux, meanwhile, is taking Kylo’s hand and tugs at his arm until he stands. Hux takes the step between them and leans into Kylo, who automatically wraps his arms around Hux’s waist and their lips meet in an almost shy brush. But Hux thinks they’re probably all screwed now anyway. Hell on earth as well as possibly actual Hell if they’re found out. He may as well earn it. It’s almost ferociously desperate and Kylo returns the sentiment.

When they finally stop to think, Hux touches Kylo’s forehead against his own, and the use of their gesture calms Kylo. Kylo understands that it’s a sign that he should trust in Hux, just as when he does it Hux knows. The soft clapping makes them let go of one another and they laugh as they see the two women cuddling in the couch. They both look radiant and happier than Hux had ever seen them. He grins, even as his mind runs a background of a list of a hundred things that can go wrong, a thousand ways they could all be punished. Then Kylo kisses his cheek before he says, “I guess we should all talk then.” The girls giggle. Hux blushes.

Is that weird? To crave a texture? I think that’s the only instance when I acknowledge the need for it - when it’s a milk feel need. Other things I want the flavor. Milk I need the texture.

Other things from the grocery store:

“Good morning” is always a greeting. “Good night” is a departure. I can’t walk into a patient’s room between 2200 and about 0400 and say “good night!” I tried. They look at me like I’m daft. I also tried “good morning” on my way out and that went over like a fart in a confessional.

“Have a good morning” is an acceptable departure. As is “have a good night.” But you can’t use them as greeting statements; they must become questions in order to be greetings. “Did you have a good morning/night.”

Ok. So my cosplay of Ed is in a month. I haven’t even started work on my jacket yet 🫪but instead I’m worried about the accessories.

I paid for (and somehow got refunded after I downloaded? No way to contact seller either) the 3D print files for the buttons, dagger, and a couple other details. I had asked and paid for a lovely letter in a bottle but that was so long ago that I give up on that idea. I digress.

Here’s where I need help with three things:

1. I have a copy of the pearl necklace but it tarnished and turned my neck green in one wear. Is there a way to fix that issue or am I screwed?

2. I am having trouble figuring out the full design of the details on the shoulder of the jacket. (I’ll end up praying fabric paint stays on pleather cuz I have no clue how to do that either.) Does anyone have a screenshot or two that can show me the whole thing or are there artists renditions somewhere? Hours of google have not helped me.

3. Ed’s rings! I found a close approximation of the red one (the gem is off by a bit but at this point any port in a storm!) but I can’t figure out the rest.