Bookmolian

objectifying men in armor will literally never get old. like, work it shiny boy. hit ‘em with that old razzle dazzle you fuckin trash can. hottie! (tucks $5 into your cuirass) 

Throws in some gold coins at the neck opening and hear it rattling all the way down.

I resent the inevitable consequences the second law of thermodynamics has on my tea and the entropy of the universe. It always happens too damn soon.

The hell do you mean “use a tea light” you’re telling me those things can be used to heat tea???

Fam I’ve been lied to and deceived

Wait please what are you being told, this has raised many questions about tea lights for me.

I'm sorry they're what

They heat tea. They heat tea because they’re tea lights. They’re named that way because they’re literally devices to keep your tea warm and somehow no one has ever told me this and they’re tea lights to heat tea and I might just—[CENSORED]

is 30s too late for a career change how to change careers how to become evil sorcerer evil sorcerer salaries evil sorceror indeed dot com

They are both right

here’s a tip: if you start dating a depressed person, don’t be surprised if they are still depressed while they are dating you. they’re not depressed because they’re single, and you are not an all-powerful cure for mental illnesses. just be there for them.

How many times can the same thing break your heart?

As long as you love it.

“as long as you love it” this really hit me

songs should be 7 minutes long minimum & blow your dick clean off every time

"Stab me like one of your French victims."

Having an abusive parent is kinda funny in retrospect like mommy why do you have beef with me im 4 i love you

Haters (my dad) can't stand to see a bad bitch (me, nine years old) winning ("drawing too loud")

How do you draw too loud?

Well you see the thing is that child abuse is inherently irrational