Opaque

if you love food but can't handle spice, i still recommend trying new orleans dishes - we use a lot of spice, but not the kind of spice to make your eyes water! we just have the most flavorful food. that being said, you should avoid a seafood boil.

some dishes to try: po'boys, chargrilled oysters, seafood gumbo, bbq shrimp & grits, beignets, bananas foster (if you can get to brennan's), muffalettas, red beans and rice, crawfish etouffee.

restaurants to try:

Mother's: the most obvious pick to try as a tourist, a small but famous new orleans southern cooking restaurant that tends to have a long (but fast-moving) line. i remember them having pretty good gumbo.

Luizza's By The Track: home of the BBQ shrimp poboy! i'm more of an oyster poboy kind of gal myself, but its a real good sandwich.

Brennan's: okay so jsyk ive never eaten here myself, i dont make that kind of money, but i have had food from here once or twice before and its pretty good. considering that you have to make a reservation online before you can go, i'm assuming that its kind of pricey - if you just want to try the Bananas Foster, the bar is free to walk-in and you can just grab one to go from there while ordering a drink ;)

Palace Cafe: another old restaurant, pretty sure its owned by the Brennan's as well, but way more tableside. (they serve po'boys here too!)

Cochon Butcher: ate here while watching the krewe du vieux parade during mardi gras season. its sandwiches all the way down, but i recommend you do NOT get anything with bacon in it, trust me lol. instead, try the duck pastrami sliders or the muffaletta sandwich

Jacques-imos: this the first one on this list that's uptown instead of downtown LOL. really easy to get to if you want to take the streetcar (get off at Oak & South Carrollton). the foods really good its just served in a shack. the best food in the city is usually served in a shack tho. good fried chicken

Cafe Du Monde: this is red herring recommendation. the thing is that everyone n their mama has the Cafe Du Monde on Jackson Square overlooking the Cathedral on their must-try list. and its a pretty good spot! there's always a busker playing so youre getting free music (its new orleans - you can get that anywhere). BUT THERE ARE BETTER BEIGNETS AROUND. in terms of beignet quality, i recommend Cafe Beignet on Royal St or Morning Call on Canal (heavy on Morning Call, theirs is a flaky kind i adore).

Acme Oyster House: this is a local chain restaurant (first restaurant was in the French Quarter, currently headquartered in Metairie - so you know its REALLY local) but i swear to god its probably the best deal you can get when it comes to chargrilled oysters. i love this place.

OKAY NOW FOOD IS OUT OF THE WAY!! next is fun things to do!

its a good thing you like pretty old buildings and spooky stuff, because i dont even believe in all that but even i know the veil gets thin here.

The Vampire Apothecary: idk if youve ever seen pictures of people round new orleans drinking out of a blood bag, but this is where they got that "blood" from. kind of iconic now, could be a line when you get there but its usually a walk-in. it's on St Ann's St and right around the corner its connected to the Boutique du Vampyre, a small gothic boutique with a bunch of knick knacks and cool items. if you're interested, ask the person at the register about any places to drink, and they might give you the Password to the Potions Lounge Speakeasy behind Fritz' on Bourbon. this is the only place you would be able to get the password. (heads up - there's a cover fee to get in still!) i recommend going even if you dont do nightlife. its way gothy, not crowded bc its limited to a couple people at a time, and you can chill in the gallery).

St Louis Cemetery Tour: tours on basin st they usually last about an hour. the tour guides are really really knowledgeable on the history of our cemeteries and I think theyre a really rich way to get to know the city and all our memento moris.

Museum of Death: on dauphine st. not for the faint of heart. this is kind of our madame tussaud's lol. there are explicit pictures abound and even a Theater of Death in the back - where you can watch live footage of old accidents, stunts gone wrong, and other final moments captured on film. it runs the gamut of modest to spectacle, the history of jazz funerals are like right next to the serial killer memorabilia, etc etc. ive been here like three times, tickets are 25-30. photos are prohibited

Gallier House Tour on Royal St: iykyk, this is where Louis, Lestat and Claudia lived in IWTV. it is a gorgeous house, and i STRONGLY recommend you take a tour here to learn the history and the general history of well-to-do families in New Orleans during the slave trade. obligatory i know someone who works here. if your tour guide's name is Katie, please tell her that Holly from TR's class said hi.

Pharmacy Museum: i actually havent been here yet, but ive been wanting to go since forever. all about early 19th century medicine and is reportedly haunted (though early medicine is kind of freaky in its own right to me).

Faulkner House Books: used to be the New Orleans home of William Faulkner, and its now a bookstore that sells, among them, rare editions of Faulkner classics. hes one of my favorite american authors so i'll try not to gush too much but it makes me feel very cognizant that new orleans was such a pivotal city that it reverberated in his writing and in the general white southern conception of race (charles bon in Absalom, anyone?)

JAMNOLA: art installation and interactive museum on Frenchmen. its all about the culture of new orleans done in such a beautiful and unique way

Storyville Museum: all about the dubious origins of our red light district Storyville and the way it grew to make up a large portion of new orleans tourism. it was also, crucially, where jazz first started spreading in new orleans and eventually how it got to the rest of the world. this is kind of the origin of Sex Drugs and Rock'n'roll to me.

I see that you say that youre not one for night life, and i get that, but when in rome... there are a couple things you could do that dont strictly require drinking.

Allways Lounge and Cabaret: obligatory i know someone whos performing here LOL. check the calendar during the time you'll be staying. classic cabaret and burlesque tease in a very fun and intimate atmosphere. have you ever seen Jesus Christ Superstar performed as a burlesque show? well i did. right hereee.

Emporium Bar and Arcade: right across the street from the allways lounge on St Claude, its drinks and arcade machines all the way down. this might be more of a local pick but its really fun to just stop by and spend like 3 bucks to play on a couple machines.

The Spotted Cat Music Club: this is my favorite jazz club on Frenchmen, its right next to the frenchmen st night market. you honestly cannot go wrong with standing your ass right in front of the band

Decatur Street: this is my favorite street in the french quarter. it houses my favorite dive bar venue (Santos) and oddities shops (Factory of Weird). there are also some pretty good restaurants along the track too (Monty's on the Square, Coop's Place, Cane & Table)

once you get down here you realize that the french quarter is way small. so many of these places/restaurants are practically right on top of each other.

im writing this all under the assumption that you're staying downtown to sightsee, so i hope i'm correct! and if i am, then one more thing you might like to do is to grab a streetcar off of Canal St & Carondelet and pay $1.25 to ride it down to the end of the line down St Charles Ave and onto South Carrollton. this streetcar line goes from downtown to uptown (and back again), and you'll be able to see a lot of beautiful houses, Audubon Park, (and my alma mater!) along the historic Garden District.

other tips: traffic lights in downtown new orleans are a suggestion, not a rule; dont be afraid to jaywalk on canal. dont stop for anyone tryna talk to u about shoes thats a really old scam that still somehow works on people. anything "voodoo" that is advertised (save for the voodoo chicken on every corner) isn't real - voodoo IS real in the sense that it exists, invisible, as an important new orleans religion. but everything you will ever see about it isnt, not even the priests. heres a good essay about that.