Aaron Phoenix

...in *spite* of the ache. #transempowered #transisbeautiful #followyourheart #genderqueer #transmanthirstdae #ftm #boyswithlonghair #qtpoc #qpoc #latinx #chicanx #androgyny https://www.instagram.com/p/CGXx2ppptxX/?igshid=1v8vx8zm4hcy0

Things became so clear all of a sudden, when I looked at me from a different angle. #aphoenixalwaysrises #transbodies #smirk #transisbeautiful #boyswithlonghair #qpoc #tpoc #latinx #chicanx #ftm #genderqueer #queer https://www.instagram.com/p/CFu4u6FJGlO/?igshid=1fqs47n4wm2sy

aaronphnx.wordpress.com #writing #transauthor #intersections https://www.instagram.com/p/CE3vgDYJpLZ/?igshid=1ktknp8fuvr2g

Our first bell #pepper. 😍 Next: the whole salad, right from the #backyard. Something about growing our own food* is calming to my existential dread and anxieties right now. *Granted, by “growing our own food” I mean TomCat is mostly growing it and I am mostly photographing and eating it. #garden #veggies #pepper #spring #plantsplantsplants https://www.instagram.com/p/B_58DgbJa_7/?igshid=59pwwis1z9nf

Local/Global Advisory Warning: Two Walking Question Marks Last seen: Clearwater FL Socially Anxious Unapologetically Ethnic Petty Intellectuals of Ambiguous Orientation; Rockin’ #Genderqueer and #Vitiligo Swag like we ain’t even Noticed We Stood Out around these One-side Choosin’, Category-Fittin’ Basic-face Havin’ Bitches, with them insecurity-projecting, You’re-so-brave-I-could-never ass “Compliments” and that absurd, hilarious-if-it-wasn’t-so-pathetic Eenie Meenie Miney Moe game of fuckery, acting like most of y’all never stumbled thru a damn bit of sense or culture on your merry way to the Place Where You Got Us Fucked Up At; Can’t Even Walk Into a Room Without Somebody Trippin’ Over Their Own Tongue-type swag; Figured Out We Was #Beautiful Without an Ounce of Convention-type swag; Cold Day in Hell if You Ever Heard a Plea for Mainstream Validation-type swag; Ima Just Watch You Backpedal When You Expected Me to Politely Excuse Your Microaggression-type swag; Under No Obligation to Make Sense to You Nor to Comfort You for Your Discomfort-type swag; Yes Bitch, I Am Judging You for Your Behavior-type swag; The Awkward Pain of Your Self-Inflicted Embarrassment Is Not My Responsibility-type swag; Could Be Mad But Forgot Y’all Ain’t Accustomed to Living Artwork-type swag. It’s understandable summa y’all don’t know how to act. Inexcusable, but understandable. #swag #tpoc #qpoc #transisbeautiful #blackgirlmagic #genderfluid #latinx #chicanx #vitiligobeauty https://www.instagram.com/p/B8apVsmp2gF/?igshid=klmx41xuevoh

I’m just sayin. #gender #trans #transgender #queer #lgbtq #transisbeautiful #genderqueer #genderfluid #nonbinary #enby #harrypotter #gryffindor #slytherin #hogwarts https://www.instagram.com/p/B7lSiBXJ6T2/?igshid=1gp07nmv9e0db

Wasn’t sure why I’ve been so fucking *sad* the last several days. Thought it was just because Christmas; turns out it was your birthday this past week. (PS, I still hate being an empath sometimes.) Seems like at least once a day this month I’ve picked up my phone to text or call you and then, yknow. Remembered. Can I be *real* honest? I’m going thru the motions, but, I ain’t been right a single day since you left. Everything came to a screeching fucking halt that day, and I’ve been stuck in slow motion since. Art projects and big ideas just hanging, suspended in a fog, in the air around me. Five months? It can’t be. Feels like five years. I keep picking up this stupid phone and when I can’t call you, I don’t know what to do next. So I keep losing my phone. I wish I had called more often. I’m having one of those days— weeks— months— where I *really need* one of our talks. To pick apart society and its gender bullshit, and laugh in its face— instead of letting it eat at my mind. I can’t help hearing your laugh, clear as day, every damn time I think about you—which is still daily—and still hurts. So. Fuckin. Bad. I wish I’d taken more chances to tell you you’re beautiful. The words “happy birthday” seem cruel now, so I won’t say them. It only reminds me that it was one of the last few sentences you said to me. Birthdays are a hollow fucking pleasantry anyway. Like genders. Fuck ‘em. You’d have laughed at that. No one else will. See my point? You’re not coming back and there’s not a damn thing I can do about it, and against all the logic in the world, it feels personal and desperately unfair. I probably sound like I’m still angry, but it’s only because I kinda am. When do I finally get a reprieve from thinking about you every damn day? (Secretly I hope the answer is never.) Dammit, B. I love you. I miss you so much. #grief #loss #holidays #missyou #transisbeautiful #genderqueer #genderfluid #nonbinary https://www.instagram.com/p/B6awyGDJ_WS/?igshid=43ni4bv95k3g

Ain’t slept for shit this week, but maaaan, I’ve had fun. Luckily, “mess” is kinda my aesthetic. 😬🤣 #transgender #genderqueer #boyswithlonghair #boyswithtattoos #transisbeautiful #selflove #transboysofig #femmeftm #ftm #trans #queer #tpoc #qpoc #translatinx #latinx #chicanx #qtpoc #genderfluid #nonbinary #enby https://www.instagram.com/p/B40IhTepNQ2/?igshid=bes8n683lgt5

#aboutlastnight a night out on the town is rare for me these days. Much different than it used to be. Necessary supplies have shifted from condoms to tums and tylenol. 😂 I’m no longer using that drink as a self-med for problems way too strong for the alcohol to address, so just the one (vs a previous 10+) is more than enough in a night. My bank account and my body both appreciate it. (My body would clearly prefer zero, tbh.) It also means I get to remember the whole night—the conversations, the performances, the subtle but meaningful moments, how I got home. It means when I can’t sleep after getting home, I meditate and write instead of... whatever I was doing (or actively not doing) before. It means a lot of things, and mostly it *means* more to me, in general. #QueenoftheNight is like a family reunion, to paraphrase @djpowerinfiniti, and it was kinda cool to be there as a far more whole, centered, and self-loving person than I was only 2-3 years ago. Cheers to that. #personaldevelopment #tampaflorida #floridadrag #transgender #genderqueer #genderfluid #femmeftm #nonbinary #boyswithlonghair #transisbeautiful (at Southern Nights TAMPA) https://www.instagram.com/p/B4wCWS_JFzg/?igshid=78d4y6p3vzdl

I swear. This photo fills my heart with j o y ! —With my brother @camarrero, my brister @djpowerinfiniti, my sister @chefjosie, and my ‘Huzzband’ @kittymeowmiami. #familia #lgbtq #qpoc #instagay #southflorida #transgender #genderqueer #tpoc #qtpoc https://www.instagram.com/p/B4O3d-2pVxQ/?igshid=16yvuwibnujjd

Finally got to break these shoes in for real this weekend at the #TransMarchOnDC. #March4TransEquality #FlagSwag #NTVM #NationalTransVisibilityMarch #CustomConverse #transgender #pride #lgbtq #transflag https://www.instagram.com/p/B3BuzdfpeMw/?igshid=18pe8o09u87u8

“They tried to bury us. They didn’t know we were seeds.” A #Mexican ‘proverb’ seen in protest movements, attributed to the Zapatistas — indigenous revolutionaries who demanded global liberation and autonomy from a neglectful/harmful government. As it turns out, the actual origin of the phrase traces back to #Greek poet Dinos Christianopoulos: “what didn’t you do to bury me but you forgot that I was a seed.” He wrote this to the Greek literary community who had condemned him and his #poetry for his brazen openness about his #homosexuality, offering no apologies for sexually explicit declarations of his #gay experiences and desires. Ironic, how a dispute between the two origins might feel much like the dispute I embody by existing in the intersection of the two. #Chicano. #Queer. In both, deemed too militant, deemed too explicit. Rejected by corners of each for the whole of the other. I’m always too much of something to fit where I’m planted. Nonetheless, a seed. Buried, stifled, stepped on, cursed, neglected, abandoned. #Resilient. Growing. Living. Evolving. #transgender #genderqueer #genderfluid #qpoc #tpoc #qtpoc #transmenofcolor #latinx https://www.instagram.com/p/Bv4G6-bhqBL/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1hdsgq20s9hc6

How I woke up the morning after @pridefortlauderdale 🤣 #transmanthirstdae #rockertrash #masc4mascara #transmenofinstagram #transmenofcolor #transmenofig #ftm #tpoc #qpoc #genderqueer #genderfluid #latinx #chicanx https://www.instagram.com/p/BubcjadBUQP/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=e0p6fzn0gftp