Happy Pride

"hogwash" still one of the best words ever. this shit is so unbelievable its pig water

why are there like 20 heroes in gotham now. can someone go help chicago? toronto? the detroit-windsor international metropolitan area? there are only three islands in gotham city man you don't need to be there it's handled. it's fine. you are not needed. why don't you go become the hero of some city you'd actually be helpful in. go to fucking. saskatoon. go save the noble and helpless people of saskatoon

Good thing no one is asking me what my career aspirations are anymore because they've turned into writing a fanfic so good someone makes fan art of it. High aspirations indeed.

it's meee I'm your guardian angel hiiiiii 😇 okay🙏 so. in about six months, you're gonna die of starvation. 🥺 and if I don't protect you, I will get: #fired! 🫢 and that is No Good 🙅‍♀️ hahaaa So. 🙏 I looked into causes of starvation, and it turns out: Your death is totally preventable! 😯 Uh oh! 😆 There's more than enough food to sustain you without interfering with anyone else's survival, but you're not allowed to have it! 🤨 Whaaat? 🤷‍♀️ Apparently, your death is premeditated by thousands of things called "shareholders." So. 🙏 I've been killing people,

I wish I was a female tiger because then if I was talking to someone and I was getting off topic I could say “but I tigress,” and then kill and eat them because I am a tiger

i hate it when you're heating something up in the microwave and it starts to go snap crackle pop so you take it out but it's still completely cold. shut up then??

At the end of the day, my thoughts on job hunting are that it's incredibly stupid how every fiber of our current socioeconomic structure is screaming that you MUST have a job and nothing else matters because you MUST be working and that's the only thing of true importance so never forget that you MUST have a job, and I'm like damn okay so I'd like a job, can I have one? And the answer is No

my liege we your council would not advise this course of action but we all agree it would be pretty funny regardless