don't die wondering

I am 29 years old!! I live with my parents! I do not have retirement savings! I do not have a career! I thought my resume was decent but I have been job hunting for a year and a half so maybe not! I get sick unpredictably and can't go to events I bought tickets for months in advance! I get exhausted and ill from working two hours a day! I have a college degree in a famously unemployable field because for some reason I thought that might help me! I may be very stupid! I am certainly very afraid! I don't know what I am going to do! I want so badly to go back to living on my own again but I genuinely think I may not be able to keep a job even if I could get one! I miss my friends terribly and I have this dreadful fear that I like them more than they like me and I don't know how much of that is the multiple medical crises talking! Trying to avoid spending money and only going to free events and staying inside to hide from the heat and miserably continuing to apply for jobs can kind of ruin your self-esteem! Maybe I'm the problem! I don't know what to do about that! What the fuck!!!!!!

Too sick to do any of the wonderful things I was going to do this weekend and I'm mad as hell about it

I love to get up in the morning and leave the house and drive in a biiiiiiig circle and come back and go back to bed

Okay. Sinus crisis incapacitated me for a day and half BUT. In that remaining half day, I scrambled my weekend plans to allow me to attend a modified version accommodating my exhaustion, did all the prep and packing accordingly, communicated the changes to all six other people involved, AND!!! did a complicated job application. And also fixed multiple pieces of wall decor and slapped a layer of spray paint onto one of my projects. I remain unstoppable, despite being extremely slow-able.

I love Hero taking minutes and listing out the teams. It's helpful in-character and helpful above table, and it's funny. It organizes plans and keeps the conversation moving while keeping the DM clearly in the loop for upcoming table splits, while also saving any one player from having to take on all of that planning work. It's a nice touch to have Hero be so on top of data security that she destroyed the chalkboard and said she'd feed the ashes to a monster. However, the dedication to opsec from this cherished NPC does fill me with a deep and powerful dread, because the one person who walked out of that room with full knowledge of the entire plan, who is also not buddied up with any player characters, is HERO. Forget the chalkboard. The data leak here, the Chekov's Gun that I just watched be painstakingly loaded, is Hal's daughter.

I love Hero taking minutes and listing out the teams. It's helpful in-character and helpful above table, and it's funny. It organizes plans and keeps the conversation moving while keeping the DM clearly in the loop for upcoming table splits, while also saving any one player from having to take on all of that planning work. It's a nice touch to have Hero be so on top of data security that she destroyed the chalkboard and said she'd feed the ashes to a monster. However, the dedication to opsec from this cherished NPC does fill me with a deep and powerful dread, because the one person who walked out of that room with full knowledge of the entire plan, who is also not buddied up with any player characters, is HERO. Forget the chalkboard. The data leak here, the Chekov's Gun that I just watched be painstakingly loaded, is Hal's daughter.