Who's Unique?....

“It’s a ‘bake sale’, Judy, not a ‘baked-goods-you-bought-at-the-store sale.’”

“Oh, Diane! What an… interesting track suit! Such an… exciting color!”

“Karen, if I put you down for snacks at the PTA meeting next Tuesday, will you remember to bring them this time?”

“Oh, Carol, I heard Jackson made the honor roll! You know, Kevin’s been on it three years in a row, now? But this will only be your first bumper sticker, right?”

“See you on the soccer field sidelines, Helen.”

This is going viral on Facebook right now. There are jokes being made about it, and it makes me sick. Let me educate you guys, and hopefully save a few turtles in the process:

1. Turtles know where they’re going. DO NOT MOVE THEM IN A DIFFERENT DIRECTION THAN THEY ARE ALREADY HEADING. Some turtles, such as Box Turtles, will actually die if they are moved or deterred from going where they’re going.

2. If the turtle is in danger, such as being in the middle of a busy road, then simply pick it up and move it (in the same direction it was going) until it is in a safe place. That’s it. Don’t take it home, and don’t bring it to a completely new location unless absolutely necessary!

3. While I’m talking about it, there is a proper way to pick up a turtle! DO NOT grab or pick up the turtle by its tail or legs. That can cause extreme pain and permanent harm to the animal! Place one hand on each side of the shell, a little bit behind the front legs, and lift the turtle. Make sure you keep the turtle low to the grown, should it decide to freak out a bit and you drop it.

4. If the turtle is large, it may be a snapping turtle. Those are aggressive and have extremely painful bites! Instead of picking it up, gently move it along with a blunt object until it is safely out of harms way.

5. Turtles swim and enjoy water. They know how to find a water source, they do not need your help. If you see a turtle roaming around next to a pond or lake, don’t pick it up and toss it in the water, it’s likely on land for a reason!

6. Tortoises are NOT water animals in any way, shape, or form! Don’t EVER throw them into any water! While some can swim, most cannot and will drown!

7. How do you tell the difference between a turtle and a tortoise? Here’s a few ways:

-Turtles tend to have webbed feet for swimming, while tortoises have round, stubby feet for walking.

-Turtles have flatter shells; tortoises have large, dome shaped shells that tend to have bumps and ridges on them.

“Stop sending expired food”….”fried chicken 64.99” 

IQALUIT, Nunavut — A head of cabbage for $20. Fifteen bucks for a small bag of apples.

A case of ginger ale: $82.

Fed up and frustrated by sky-high food prices and concerned over widespread hunger in their communities, thousands of Inuit have spent weeks posting pictures and price tags from their local grocery stores to a Facebook site called Feed My Family.

Conservationists

have been starving

these people

This is why I don’t respect anyone who blindly supports the anti-sealing protestors. Because for a lot of people, it’s the only affordable option.

It’s not just Iqaluit. In Nain, Labrador this problem has been going on for ages and nobody does anything about it. $47 for a ham and $17 for a block of cheese. In Rigolet, Labrador, a loaf of bread costs $7. Here’s another picture of an Iqaluit food price changing before your very eyes.

Look at the latest news on the Feeding My Family website to see what the priorities are and how you might be able to help.

If you’re Canadian, call your local MP and ask to discuss this issue and express your concern.

Look up ways to support putting pressure onto airlines to charge fair rates (a $1000 plane ticket should be from one coast to the other, not a few hundred miles).

Research and learn what you can about food sustainability. For a start, how about learning square foot/metre (French intensive) gardening or container gardening and starting to practice it yourself? Share these techniques with friends and family. Get good at it so you can teach them to others who have poor food security in your own area.

For the love of God, stop signing “anti-sealing”/”anti-hunting” petitions and supporting Greenpeace’s actions without understanding the complicated, nuanced situation in the North.

Watch the FB group, because people there mention direct donations and ways to help the organizations actually on the ground there.

For example, one person is starting up a donation project/fundraiser.

Look at what organizations like FoodShare are doing and support them.

If you see a horseshoe crab on the beach, gently nudge it with your foot. Most of them will respond by waving their telson around. If it doesn’t respond, flip it over to check for moving limbs. If you suspect it is tangled and can’t move and you can’t bring it straight to the water because of this get a bucket of sea water and slowly pour it over the book gills and legs. As you work to untangle these rad critters, which are actually more closely related to spiders than crabs, pour more water over it periodically until you can return it to the ocean. However, during the mating season horseshoe crabs will attach together, with the large female toting around a smaller male behind her, and bury themselves in sand and mud to lay their eggs. Do not dig up these horseshoe crabs unless you are absolutely sure that they are stuck above the high tide mark. If you see dozens of beached horseshoe crabs but none of them are clinging together and the tide is going out, please do your part and turn them back in the direction of the water. Place them at the water’s edge and let them decide which direction they want to go in to be absolutely sure that they aren’t stranded accidentally.

Horseshoe crabs cannot bite you, and their “pincers” are really just for picking up food and don’t hurt if they try to grab you. They may be a little intimidating-looking but they are harmless and will be grateful for your help.

Just look at all those friendly legs waiting to tickle you in thanks for helping them not die a slow death of baking in the sun and getting eaten by gulls and other sea birds!

Fuck that, it’s not a dichotomy. Let’s not act like mascara glues girls eyes so shut that they can’t read a word of Dickens or solve a trig problem. Let’s talk about how no boy has ever been asked if he’d rather get his Bachelor’s or get married; no boy has ever been told that he’s too handsome to run for office. So why cover up my tits so you can take me seriously?