take a fucking sip babes

hang on i need to review my entire post history from all time and make sure i haven't said anything embarrassing

awful news guys

worry about it kitten daddy fucked up

don't worry kitten daddy got it

start worrying kitten daddy fucked up

i would rather see the information for an event handwritten in sharpie on a paper towel than see another AI generated flyer

I love how Zohran Mamdani is wearing a suit everywhere. And if he has anything else he puts it ON TOP of the suit. A basketball jersey. A high-vis vest. All worn over the suit. He’s like the mayor character in a cartoon who’s always dressed as The Mayor. If I didn’t know who he was and he biked past me in NYC I’d be like holy shit was that the mayor

I thought you threw a Playstation 2 controller into the sea

Went to a reptile meetup today at a local mall where there were plenty of big snakes and iguanas and other big intimidating reptiles and this girl was just watching the whole thing in silence with her hands closed up (as if she’s holding something) then one of the hosts saw her and pointed at her asking her if she had any reptiles, so she just quietly looked down at her hands and opened them up and there was the smallest most adorable yet ugly little baby leopard gecko just one McDonald’s sauce big everyone (and I mean everyone) erupted in awwwwwwwsss

i fucking love the matrix