Something Sentences Sunday
I did write something today but I’m holding on to that for just a second 😊 tagged by @poledancingghostson @spotsandsocks @brittwrites thank you lovelies 💖
Bailey and Drew, I present example #946 of a) constantly being sidelined by music and b) forever in my reunited lovers era.
I have never played in the Femme or Trans Buddie sandbox before but something hit me while I was merrily minding my own business, listening to Everclear’s version of Brown Eyed Girl and- listen, it’s the Vibes and Tone of the music. I don’t feel like I could do this justice and I am probably putting it up for adoption but turns out I have a lot of Thoughts and Feelings about them. I love you and I’m sorry 💖
Buck and Eddie are childhood friends, they grow up through all of their phases together, initially proceeding through life AFAB but knowing they're different. The older they get they eventually discuss wanting to transition—to look on the outside how they feel on the inside—preferably together. I jump, you jump, Jack sort of situation.
Buck leans more towards the tomboy masc side of things. Eddie stays as traditionally femme as he can stand to be. Because Fuck the Diaz parents. The only person he ever confides in is Buck, because Buck is already brave enough to be how Eddie wants to be. And he knows Buck will never judge him. And ofc Buck doesn’t at all. In fact maybe Buck sees something in Eddie he’s been avoiding looking at for most of their friendship and kisses him about it.
Then maybe Eddie initially freaks out and doubles down on his femme identity because wasn’t it enough to be good friends and pretend he wasn’t in love with Buck on top of feeling wrong? Buck had to go and see right through him. But he can only avoid Buck-and himself-for so long. They come crashing back together and make it work until graduation. But then there’s college and living together and- Eddie’s parents finally figure out that Buck is more than a roommate or best friend. They pull any financial support for college and Eddie can’t do it without them. Buck insists they can still make it work. Maybe not right away but they can go somewhere better, save some money and maybe in a few years…
Eddie can feel his heart breaking in real time. Buck is so hopeful and convinced and Eddie doesn’t know how to tell him it’s a nice dream but that’s all it’ll ever be. So he pastes on a smile and tells Buck it sounds great. They’ll talk more tomorrow, it’s been a long day.
When Buck wakes up in the morning, Eddie is gone. The other half of the bed is cold and the few things Eddie needs every day are missing too. There’s a note on their secondhand kitchen table.
I’m sorry. You deserve better. Love, Eddie
No, Buck didn’t deserve better. He deserves Eddie. But maybe he doesn’t anymore.
Buck quits college and goes on his travels. He learns to surf, break in colts, bartending. He makes it the whole way to Peru. No one else asked him to stay any longer than necessary but Connor invites him to LA and that’s good enough for him.
Eddie meets Shannon and her beautiful baby, Chris. He falls in love, they get married and he adopts Chris as his own. There’s not a thing he wouldn’t do for that kid. And then Shannon leaves. Isn’t that just his luck?
He works 3 jobs and to make ends meet but it’s still not enough to avoid needing to go crawling back to his parents. It takes so much groveling he hates himself. But it’s for Chris, and it’s temporary, that’s what he tells himself.
And at least this time he’s got the metaphorical balls to push back and tell them to go to hell if they think he’s going to suddenly go back to the daughter they “lost”.
It works for a little while. On any given day he daydreams about his truck ramming into a bridge support. Even better if he just didn’t wake up one morning. But it’s temporary. It’s for Chris. Until his parents try to take custody from him. Because Chris needs stability, routine. A mom and dad. He’s not even your son!
Eddie finds himself bolting again. He makes it to LA with Chris. They find shelter with Hen, Karen, Chim, Bobby. They look after Chris when Eddie gets top surgery and has to recover. They promise to fight for Eddie and Chris, nothing will happen as long as he’s with them. In fact they know another trans man, about his age. He’s going through the academy right now actually. Maybe Eddie and Chris can come to family dinner at Bobby and Athena’s place and meet Buck.
Buck. It can’t possibly be the same person. Not Eddie’s- no. Not Eddie’s anything. He agrees to dinner and changes his outfit a suspicious amount of times for the few clothes he owns. For another guy his age who might not even be the right guy.
He arrives to dinner and all his breath leaves his lungs. Because it is the right guy. Of course it is. It’s always been him. He’s even more beautiful than Eddie remembers. Broad and muscular and- staring daggers at Eddie.
Buck looks between Eddie and Chris. Eddie burns with shame for all the unspoken things between them, all of the assumptions Buck must be making right now.
He tries to say Buck’s name. To say anything. But Buck looks away. He turns to Bobby, loudly announcing he’s no longer hungry. Buck leaves and Eddie’s sure he’s still living on this plane of existence but he’s never felt more like a ghost than he does right now.
It’s a few days later when he gets a knock on his door. He expects Bobby or Hen. Not Buck. Buck whose eyes are red rimmed and looks like he hasn’t slept in days. Bobby told him about Chris. About Eddie’s arrival in LA. If it’s OK Buck would really like to meet them both. Can he come in?
Of course he can. Because Eddie could never deny Buck anything. Not for long.
They talk and catch up in broad strokes. Nothing too detailed yet. Soon it’s time to get Chris from school. Maybe Buck wants to come along?
Buck does, he loves kids. But he’s nervous. That’s Eddie’s kid. Turns out there was never anything to worry about because Chris is the coolest kid Buck ever met.
Buck tells Eddie he’s been learning to cook from Bobby. Just breakfast stuff. That’s ok, Chris loves pancakes.
Later after Chris is asleep and Eddie comes back to the living room, he’s surprised to find Buck still there. Buck is wringing his hands, looking as nervous as Eddie feels. It was one thing earlier to catch up but now it’s just the two of them again. They know they have a lot of past between them. A lot of hurt and betrayal.
Buck’s had a hell of a time with one night stands and taking whoever wants him. But it can’t be that way, not with Eddie. He wants to turn over a new leaf, step in with Eddie and Chris.
And everything in Eddie’s body screams at him to beg Buck to stay, but he doesn’t because he can’t. Not yet. He walks Buck to the door and maybe Buck could come over again sometime soon?
Shy and bashful, Buck rocks forward and kisses Eddie’s cheek. He’ll be back tomorrow.
np tagging a few folks because Late and you seem to constantly tolerate my never ending thoughts 😘 @diazsdimples @dangerpronebuddie @daffi-990 @bekkachaos @eddiesstabwound @soupfic @cathcer1984 @fanficmanic @midsummersmorn @minalover @sunflowerbuckleys @your-catfish-friend @damnit-buck @greencreekwolf @monsterrae1 @bi-buckrights @thewolvesof1998 @whatwouldeddiedo @theotherbuckley 🫶
