6edbuge

for the past few years, creating art has slowly become smth i hate more and more. not all of it, i still deeply love my ocs, creating fanart, & thinking abt my ideas for hours on end every day. which is why this break is not going to be easy. im genuinely devastated tht im missing art fight for the first time in 5 years

but what ive realised is that i treat art like smth i have to solve and put a painful amount of pressure on myself. im in this cycle of i miss drawing, i try to draw, it doesnt feel right, i get upset. frustration has become associated with art itself, and then the next time i draw im tense and upset before ive even drawn a circle. theres no pushing through this. i genuinely need to stop drawing because its so painful.

the reason i havent made this decision yet despite this building for years is because taking a break feels like failure. but every drawing i make also feels like failure. im never winning and im emotionally defeated.

i dont know how long the break will last. i desperately hope i can draw for fun and enjoyment again as soon as possible. but im not abandoning my blog, i still have ideas i want to share, just not through drawing right now. ive recently found a love for writing, and i know thts not what any1 came here for, but it would be cool if at least a couple ppl would stick around to see what i can do. ive written some things tht i loved the process of and loved the result. for the first time in years i feel like im ready to pursue something else