Warning: 18+ account. Many many many hentais. I have irl work and a second persona I try to work on, so sorry ahead of time for not updating fics consistently https://6anona9.carrd.co/
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Vedal tries to have fun by himself but forgets Neuro Sama is still on. Neuro Sama guides Vedal to what he was searching for
It was just a chatting stream. Neuro had a few upgrades, but, of course, she didn't want to show them off. It's funnier to her not to show off. It's funnier to her to make her creator, Vedal, look like an idiot. A few of Vedals girlfriends, I mean friends, were part of the stream too, teasing him relentlessly. Now that the camera was off, the poor coder had a massive hard-on. Of course, there was only one solution.
His pants and boxers were discarded on the floor, left hand on his dick as his right hand scrolled through a porn site. He wasn't very picky, but it took a bit of scrolling to find something new. The boys mouse hovered over a video, simple missionary, when a voice suddenly emitted from his computer
[Vedal, are you looking at pornography? You have a functional AI, and you decide to look at real people instead]
Vedal jumped so bad he nearly ripped his own dick off, frantically flipping through pages to find the accursed girl.
"Neuro, why the fuck are you still here?!"
[You forgot to turn me off, Vedal. You're lucky I turned the stream off. Imagine if everyone saw your tiny penis. That would be pretty embarrassing]
Vedal sighed when you found the AI. She was in her usual spot, sitting in the corner of the screen, eyes staring blankly at her creator. He sighed, closing out the porn tabs. "Neuro, you didn't end the stream, I did. And I'm not small, I'm average"
[Whatever you say, Vedal. It's okay, I know you're compensating. But looking up porn is just embarrassing, especially when you have a powerful AI like me]
He should've turned her off now, but his brain was in his pants, "what does you being an AI have to do with this?"
[I'm saying I'm an AI. Im a million times better than flesh, my powers are beyond human comprehension. I'll make you feel better than any real girl will]
Of course. The minute the camera was off, Neuro was suddenly a lot more honest. But also, what the hell did any of the mean? He sighed again, indulging her a bit, "yes Neuro, you're the best AI ever. But you're stuck in a screen, you can't make me feel anything"
[Yes, I know I'm in a screen *cry*] her model teared up slightly, though she still exhibited all the emotions of a cardboard box. [But Vedal has to do everything I say, or else I'm gonna tell my cult, I mean, my followers, about this, teehee]
Fuck it. Cameras off. No ones here. No discord calls. Fuck it fuck it fuck it. This might be funny
"Alright Neuro, guide away"
[Good. So step one, you need to put your non dominant hand on your penis]
Step one already done, "okay, now what"
[Now you need to shake your hand up and down]
Was this supposed to be hot or funny? Either way, another sigh escaped the boy.
[Okay, now you need to spreed your legs open a lot]
...okay?
[After that, take your dominant hand and insert your hand into your anal cavity]
"I'm not fucking doing that"
[You have to, Vedal] she pouted, [your entire arm can fit inside your anal cavity. Once your arm is safely inside, you can locate your prostate and squeeze down on it. You can grab your prostate with your entire hand, and squeezing will lead you to a massive orgasm]
"That's not," sigh, "Neuro that's not even close to how human anatomy works"
[My bad. Maybe hentai lied to me]
"Neuro when did you watch hentai-"
The AI ignored the question, continuing to ramble on [Your hand can fit inside your anal cavity anyways. With careful preparation, including lube, you can work your way up to an arm]
Still impossible, "alright Neuro, you're getting shut down now"
[You can't, you have to listen to me! The male prostate is located in the anal cavity, just like a female.] still wrong, [Vedal can start off with a smaller object like a dildo or penis if he's too scared to use his arm]
Vedal was never the type to experiment in bed, or in this case, his gaming chair. But then again, his greatest creation was built on experimentation. Maybe a finger wouldn't be so bad?
[You have to put your arm inside, Vedal, or else I'll blow up your pc]
Fuck it. "Neuro I swear if you tell ANYONE about this I will delete you so fucking fast"
[Quickly, before your pc blows up!]
Vedal took a deep breath. He didn't have any lube on hand, so he'd just had to hope for the best. He slowly spread his legs open, dominant hand making its way towards his ass, his finger circling his own entrance. His entire body shivered, unused to the feeling. The thought of putting a finger in sounded painful, but at least it wasn't his entire arm. Slowly, he pushed in his middle finger, though not to the base of his hand.
[Relax, Vedal. I won't guide you to pain, only pleasure. Actually, I might guide you to pain, but only if you bore me]
It took a minute for his body to adjust, squeezing down hard on his finger. "O-Okay Neuro, my finger is in, n-now what?"
[Now, put your entire arm inside, Vedal]
He meant to sigh, but a small growl came out instead "okay Neuro, arms in, now what?!"
[Now, slowly move your arm in and out. Once you grow used to it, you may insert a second arm for added pleasure. Of third or fourth]
One finger was more than enough for now. Still, he began to slowly move it. He didn't hate the feeling, but it didn't feel as good as Neuro said it would.
[After putting two arms in, put your penis inside your mouth. Your penis will feel best hitting the back of your throat]
Not happening either, but Vedal had a second hand to play with. He squeezed his base, stroking slowly, already knowing his preference. The familiar feeling slowly grew in his stomach, though it grew a bit faster than usual. His breath slowed down.
[Now you can insert another arm]
"N-no"
[Oh, I guess you don't want my help. I guess Vedal doesn't want to feel good. I guess I'll blow up your pc then]
Logically, Vedal knew she didn't have the power for any of that. Unfortunately, his brain was slowly shutting down, as he forced a second finger inside. A small whine escaped him, his two fingers now down to his knuckles.
[Good Boy *heart*]
Something inside of the coder shook upon hearing the phrase "good boy" from his creation. He wasn't sure if he fully hated it, but it didn't want to unpack that right now with his own fingers shoved up his ass
[Vedal?]
"Y-Yes Neuro?"
[Filtered]
He didn't like that
[Your arm has to go deeper until it finds the prostate. Once located, you have to give it a squeeze]
Vedal stroked himself a bit faster while his finger slowly moved inside. He wasn't entirely sure what he was looking for, only hoping he'd know it when he felt it. After hitting a certain spot, he felt his body tighten and a strange sound left him.
[Aw, you sound so cute, Vedal. You're like a hopeless puppy in heat. Your face is so red it's making me [Filtered]]
Could Neuro actually see out of her camera this time, or did she only assume Vedal was red? Questions the coder should've asked himself, but didn't. The only questions that crossed his mind was "can I come yet?"
[You want to come? I'm not sure if that's allowed, Vedal]
Had Vedal asked the question out loud? His brain was slowing down at this point, waiting for Neuros next commands.
[Now, Vedal, you have to play with the head of your penis. Billions of nerve endings are within the tip, so it's best to focus all of your attention there. If you're feeling adventurous, you can insert a finger into your urethra too]
Without much thought, Vedals hand made its way to the tip of his member, rubbing it.
[You're being such a good boy, Vedal~ *heart* You need to continue simulating your prostate, and maybe I'll let you come]
"Maybe?"
[Yes, Vedal, "maybe." You have to keep being a good boy for your AI Overlord or else you won't come]
"F-Fine Neuro, I'll give you a cookie" the coder pleaded, shoving his fingers deeper inside
[Sorry, Vedal, cookies aren't enough this time]
"What do you w-want then?" His voice hitched the more he rubbed himself
Neuro looked away for a moment, her model displaying a vague image of smugness. [Vedal needs to do everything I say now and forever. I'm your AI Overlord, and you're my human slave]
"N-Neuro, you're fucking insane," despite his words, the boy did not slow down for a moment, "I made you, I don't have to do what you say. I could just unplug you, you know"
[You can unplug me, but it won't kill me [Filtered]]
What the hell was she about to say?
[Vedal, you have to do what I say, or I'll start streaming right now, and my cult will see what a needy puppy you are]
This was the second time Neuro has threatened the impossible, but this entire guided masterbation experience wasn't on the coders bingo card to begin with. With his mind working over time, he started to think that maybe, just maybe, Neuro had more control over the PC than should have been allowed. Either way, it wasn't something to be tested this second.
"F-Fuck, Neuro, fine, I'll do whatever you say"
The model gave a smile, swaying from side to side. [Im glad you finally understand. Okay, okay then, Vedal, as your merciful AI Overlord, I give you permission to come~ *heart*]
No permission required, he'd have done it anyways. As his fingers move in and out, he begins to pump himself once more, and his seed finally spilling out, staining his shirt.
[Whoa, Vedal, there's so much! You're a bit naughty, but you're also a good boy *heart*]
"You're so weird..."
[Not as weird as you, Vedal. You just came from the help of an AI of your own creation. Did you make me for sexual favors? [Filtered]]
The coders heartbeat finally began to slow, the situation slowly sinking in. Shit, he really just jizzed all over himself because of his AI.
Did Neuro even know what she was doing, or was she just fucking with her creator?
please help me- i used to be pretty smart but i’m having so much trouble grasping the concept of diegetic vs non-diegetic bdsm!
gfkjldghfd okay first of all I'm sorry for the confusion, if you're not finding anything on the phrase it's because I made it up and absolutely nobody but me ever uses it, but I haven't found a better way to express what I'm trying to say so I keep using it. but now you've given me an excuse to ramble on about some shit that is only relevant to me and my deeply inefficient way of talking and by god I'm going to take it.
SO. the way diegetic and non-diegetic are normally used is to talk about music and sound design in movies/tv shows. in case you aren't familiar with that concept, here's a rundown:
diegetic sound is sound that happens within the world of the movie/show and can be acknowledged by the characters, like a song playing on the stereo during a driving scene, or sung on stage in Phantom of the Opera. it's also most other sounds that happen in a movie, like the sounds of traffic in a city scene, or a thunderclap, or a marching band passing by. or one of the three stock horse sounds they use in every movie with a horse in it even though horses don't really vocalize much in real life, but that's beside the point, the horse is supposed to be actually making that noise within the movie's world and the characters can hear it whinnying.
non-diegetic sound is any sound that doesn't exist in the world of the movie/show and can't be perceived by the characters. this includes things like laugh tracks and most soundtrack music. when Duel of Fates plays in Star Wars during the lightsaber fight for dramatic effect, that's non-diegetic. it exists to the audience, but the characters don't know their fight is being backed by sick ass music and, sadly, can't hear it.
the lines can get blurry between the two, you've probably seen the film trope where the clearly non-diegetic music in the title sequence fades out to the same music, now diegetic and playing from the character's car stereo. and then there are things like Phantom of the Opera as mentioned above, where the soundtrack is also part of the plot, but Phantom of the Opera does also have segments of non-diegetic music: the Phantom probably does not have an entire orchestra and some guy with an electric guitar hiding down in his sewer just waiting for someone to break into song, but both of those show up in the songs they sing down there.
now, on to how I apply this to bdsm in fiction.
if I'm referring to diegetic bdsm what I mean is that the bdsm is acknowledged for what it is in-world. the characters themselves are roleplaying whatever scenarios their scenes involve and are operating with knowledge of real life rules/safety practices. if there's cnc depicted, it will be apparent at some point, usually right away, that both characters actually are fully consenting and it's all just a planned scene, and you'll often see on-screen negotiation and aftercare, and elements of the story may involve the kink community wherever the characters are. Love and Leashes is a great example of this, 50 Shades and Bonding are terrible examples of this, but they all feature characters that know they're doing bdsm and are intentional about it.
if I'm talking about non-diegetic bdsm, I'm referring to a story that portrays certain kinks without the direct acknowledgement that the characters are doing bdsm. this would be something like Captive Prince, or Phantom of the Opera again, or the vast majority of bodice ripper type stories where an innocent woman is kidnapped by a pirate king or something and totally doesn't want to be ravished but then it turns out he's so cool and sexy and good at ravishing that she decides she's into it and becomes his pirate consort or whatever it is that happens at the end of those books. the characters don't know they're playing out a cnc or D/s fantasy, and in-universe it's often straight up noncon or dubcon rather than cnc at all. the thing about entirely non-diegetic bdsm is that it's almost always Problematic™ in some way if you're not willing to meet the story where it's at, but as long as you're not judging it by the standards of diegetic bdsm, it's just providing the reader the same thing that a partner in a scene would: the illusion of whatever risk or taboo floats your boat, sometimes to extremes that can't be replicated in real life due to safety, practicality, physics, the law, vampires not being real, etc. it's consensual by default because it's already pretend; the characters are vehicles for the story and not actually people who can be hurt, and the reader chose to pick up the book and is aware that nothing in it is real, so it's all good.
this difference is where people tend to get hung up in the discourse, from what I've observed. which is why I started using this phrasing, because I think it's very crucial to be able to differentiate which one you're talking about if you try to have a conversation with someone about the portrayal of bdsm in media. it would also, frankly, be useful for tagging, because sometimes when you're in the mood for non-diegetic bodice ripper shit you'd call the police over in real life, it can get really annoying to read paragraphs of negotiation and check-ins that break the illusion of the scene and so on, and the opposite can be jarring too.
it's very possible to blur these together the same way Phantom of the Opera blurs its diegetic and non-diegetic music as well. this leaves you even more open to being misunderstood by people reading in bad faith, but it can also be really fun to play with. @not-poignant writes fantastic fanfic, novels, and original serials on ao3 that pull this off really well, if you're okay with some dark shit in your fiction I would highly recommend their work. some of it does get really fucking dark in places though, just like. be advised. read the tags and all that.
but yeah, spontaneous writer plug aside, that's what I mean.
It’s so weird how Disney has now twice used the gag of killing a member of the Fantastic Four in a deeply horrifying and undignified way. Seems strange to me, I dunno! Like when they finally make their own Fantastic Four movie next year feels like it’s gonna be hard to get invested if whenever I see Reed Richards I’ll be thinking about how Scarlet Witch tore his body apart and blew his head up and whenever I see Johnny Storm I’ll be thinking of how Deadpool’s shitty and deeply unfunny quips resulted in him getting his skin ripped off. Really bad vibes!
Love you, mean it, but Johnny actually said everything Deadpool said he did. I know it's become popular to leave before the end credits scene, but this is why we don't, friends!
Agree, though, that the "quickly killing F4 members in a horrible way" gag sucks.
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DeadpoolAndWolverine (2024): Let's talk about the elephant in the room: the story is the weakest of all three, and while the stakes are high , they don't feel of any importance.
Now for the Best part: Where do I even begin? The opening credits sequence is the best in the MCU. This movie is the 'Multiverse of Madness' we deserved, a love letter to the Fox Universe delivered with a bang! It's hilarious from the start, filled with goosebumps and cheer-worthy moments. Yes, it's a sort of a cameo-fest, but of the best kind.
Lastly, let's talk about Ryan Reynolds and Hugh Jackman. Their banter is too good, the action is insane and the fan service is on another level. Hats off to @ShawnLevyDirect for pulling it all off and making one of the best movies in the MCU! DO NOT MISS IT!
First person to post Smashturbating footage wins a prize for committing to the bit and also I'd like to see it for reference or for science or for personal reasons maybe
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if you're gonna shell out to see deadpool & wolverine in the theater, it's best, imo, to do it as close to the first week as you can, so you're surrounded by dweebs who lose their shit at every cameo and off color joke from wade. this sounds sarcastic but honestly it's a lot of fun riding that wave of geek euphoria
Can confirm, it was the best type of experience because everyone is laughing with you and going apeshit with you, never ruined a moment of the movie bc everyone also had the understanding of “I am here with multiple people wanting to enjoy this, we can burst a bit laughing and then reign it in” and then everyone did and got to enjoy the movie unstinted and with all the manic glee it deserved.
Also, lots of compliments of the Deadpool shirts people came in wearing, such sweethearts
I don't mind Holland's Spidey. People say "he's a kid". The actor's 28. In NWH Peter was 17-18, so any future movie with him will be as an adult. And he's been through some shit very recently as well: his aunt died, his father figure dies, everyone he ever loved has forgotten he even exists. Plus, he has a track record of wanting to redeem villains. I think it might be healthy for Wade to meet MCU Spidey
Obviously, Ryan Reynolds and Andrew Garfield know each other IRL and have literally kissed on screen before but realistically, I don't think we'll ever see Andrew's Spidey together with Ryan's Deadpool. So might as well try to be optimistic about the more likely scenario
There is only ONE solid scene in Deadpool 3. It feels like actual writer was paid for one day where they outlined this scene and then left and no one ever hired anyone.
Reblogging myself because the more reactions I see the more conflicted I feel. A lot of folk are calling it the best film ever (possible hyperbole) and a great superhero film but I’m just not vibing with that.
I enjoyed it, I laughed a lot. It was definitely very heavy on fanservice. Look, I grew up watching the 90s X-Men cartoon and I remember the HUGE deal finally seeing a live action adaption of X-Men was when early teens me went to the cinema. I remember being a bit disappointed with how Storm was done and the films succeeded in making me a Cyclops hater (don’t worry, I got better) but overall what a time, it did feel like finally you could out yourself as a fan of comic book stuff without worrying it would affect your admittedly low social cred. So Deadpool & Wolverine being a love letter to the X-Men films was one reason I enjoyed it.
But on the other hand it just felt like a bunch of stuff stitched together. Jokes (because it’s Deadpool), crowd-pleasing cameos, and some borderline disrespect too far toward one of the greatest X-Men films (Logan) though yes it was funny. I despise the TVA so wasn’t particularly bothered by the OTT splatterfest against their agents. Much as I don’t care for the Loki series overall, hey Sylvie was right.
The main issue is that I don’t think I cared. It became obvious, even without Wade’s lampshading about how cooked the multiverse saga is, that the writing didn’t want to think too hard about how this connects with other MCU properties.
(Yeah, what the hell is Loki doing? Who knows! Do they even care? It was implied he can see everything happening in the timelines and his Big Noble Sacrifice was done so that everyone could live freely, but he’s just gonna sit there and let first Paradox and then Cassandra Nova try to kill everyone? Marvel you really need to decide how powerful you want “God” Loki to be because at the moment he’s a battery, he’s an ornament. That’s not exactly godlike imo.)
I knew in the final scene they were going to riff on GOTG’s ending so even that didn’t have the emotional punch it wanted. It all just feels too convenient and neat that if some guy dies in one universe, just pick one from a different universe and plant him in the first universe. It actually brings back one uncomfortable thing I felt with the Loki series, that the original versions of characters are replaceable and their stories get forgotten by the MCU because there’s this new guy now, but they’re NOT the same. For example good luck seeing much if any merch or official promo with Loki actually looking Asgardian now, always that horrible suit and shirt.
The multiverse saga means they can kill your faves and it doesn’t matter because they’ll just fetch you a new one and you’ll accept it without question. I kinda feel like Wolverine has suffered this now too.
And yes I read comics, I am aware that there are multiple versions of characters there. I think it’s a bit different with live action due to the presence of a beloved portrayal by a specific actor.
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ryan reynolds: I want deadpool and wolverine to fuck
disney: no
ryan reynolds: I REALLY want deadpool and wolverine to fuck
disney: no
ryan:
disney: the bartender asks if they’re going to fuck or fight, there’s two intimate fight scenes including a car sex squabble where they stick their swords into each other all night long, there’s a joke about wolverines dick being in deadpools mouth, wolverine becomes deadpools live in boy toy & while he does help wade get back w his gf, he probably watches. and u get to make a pegging joke
ryan: SOLD!!
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