Parasite (2019) dir. Bong Joon-ho
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@5snowflakesofwinter
Parasite (2019) dir. Bong Joon-ho

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Unmute !
I showed this video to my 2 y/o niece last night and now every time I get out my phone near her she says “chicken. song”
brian david gilbert says tsuchinoko SEXY
Transcript:
Brian: A tsuchinoko is a Japanese cryptid that is a snake that is fatter in its middle than on its head or its tail. Pat (offscreen): I just don’t see why it’s sexy. Brian (exasperated): You don’t– Patrick, you gotta understand. It’s not about what you could first see, right? Pat (offscreen): I mean, but even after that, what do you see after that? Brian: It has a propensity for lying and for drinking alcohol! Patrick thinks it shouldn’t be this high on the list, but fuck Patrick.
HERE’S THE THING THOUGH
I used to work for a call center and I was doing a political survey and I called this number that was randomly generated for me and the way our system worked was voice-activated so when the other person said hello you’d get connected to them, so I just launch right into my “Harvard University and NPR blah blah blah” thing and then there’s this long pause and I think the person’s hung up even though I didn’t hear a click
And then I hear “you shouldn’t be able to call this number.”
So I apologize and go into the preset spiel about because we aren’t selling anything, etc. etc. and the answer I get is
“No, I know that. What I mean is that it should be impossible for you to call this number, and I need to know how you got it.”
I explain that it’s randomly generated and I’m very sorry for bothering him, and go to hang up. And before I can click terminate, I hear:
“Ma’am, this is a matter of national security.”
I accidentally called the director of the FBI.
My job got investigated because a computer randomly spit out a number to the Pentagon.
This is my new favourite story.
When I was in college I got a job working for a company that manages major air-travel data. It was a temp gig working their out of date system while they moved over to a new one, since my knowing MS Dos apparently made me qualified.
There was no MS Dos involved. Instead, there was a proprietary type-based OS and an actually-uses-transistors refrigerator-sized computer with switches I had to trip at certain times during the night as I watched the data flow from six pm to six AM on Fridays and weekends. If things got stuck, I reset the server.
The company handled everything from low-end data (hotel and car reservations) to flight plans and tower information. I was weighed every time I came in to make sure it was me. Areas of the building had retina scanners on doors.
During training. they took us through all the procedures. Including the procedures for the red phone. There was, literally, a red phone on the shelf above my desk. “This is a holdover from the cold war.” They said. “It isn’t going to come up, but here’s the deal. In case of nuclear war or other nation-wide disaster, the phone will ring. Pick up the phone, state your name and station, and await instructions. Do whatever you are told.”
So my third night there, it’s around 2am and there’s a ringing sound.
I look up, slowly. The Red phone is ringing.
So I reach out, I pick up the phone. I give my name and station number. And I hear every station head in the building do the exact same. One after another, voices giving names and numbers. Then silence for the space of two breaths. Silence broken by…
“Uh… Is Shantavia there?”
It turns out that every toll free, 1-900 or priority number has a corresponding local number that it routs to at its actual destination. Some poor teenage girl was trying to dial a friend of hers, mixed up the numbers, and got the atomic attack alert line for a major air-travel corporation’s command center in the mid-west United States.
There’s another pause, and the guys over in the main data room are cracking up. The overnight site head is saying “I think you have the wrong number, ma’am.” and I’m standing there having faced the specter of nuclear annihilation before I was old enough to legally drink.
The red phone never rang again while I was there, so the people doing my training were only slightly wrong in their estimation of how often the doomsday phone would ring.
Every time I try to find this story, I end up having to search google with a variety of terms that I’m sure have gotten me flagged by some watchlist, so I’m reblogging it again where I swear I’ve reblogged it before.
But none of these stories even come close to the best one of them all; a wrong number is how the NORAD Santa Tracker got started.
Seriously, this is legit.
In December 1955, Sears decided to run a Santa hotline. Here’s the ad they posted.
Only problem is, they misprinted the number. And the number they printed? It went straight through to fucking NORAD. This was in the middle of the Cold War, when early warning radar was the only thing keeping nuclear annihilation at bay. NORAD was the front line.
And it wasn’t just any number at NORAD. Oh no no no.
Terri remembers her dad had two phones on his desk, including a red one. “Only a four-star general at the Pentagon and my dad had the number,” she says.
“This was the ‘50s, this was the Cold War, and he would have been the first one to know if there was an attack on the United States,” Rick says.
The red phone rang one day in December 1955, and Shoup answered it, Pam says. “And then there was a small voice that just asked, ‘Is this Santa Claus?’ ”
His children remember Shoup as straight-laced and disciplined, and he was annoyed and upset by the call and thought it was a joke — but then, Terri says, the little voice started crying.
“And Dad realized that it wasn’t a joke,” her sister says. “So he talked to him, ho-ho-ho’d and asked if he had been a good boy and, ‘May I talk to your mother?’ And the mother got on and said, ‘You haven’t seen the paper yet? There’s a phone number to call Santa. It’s in the Sears ad.’ Dad looked it up, and there it was, his red phone number. And they had children calling one after another, so he put a couple of airmen on the phones to act like Santa Claus.”
“It got to be a big joke at the command center. You know, ‘The old man’s really flipped his lid this time. We’re answering Santa calls,’ ” Terri says.
And then, it got better.
“The airmen had this big glass board with the United States on it and Canada, and when airplanes would come in they would track them,” Pam says.
“And Christmas Eve of 1955, when Dad walked in, there was a drawing of a sleigh with eight reindeer coming over the North Pole,” Rick says.
“Dad said, ‘What is that?’ They say, ‘Colonel, we’re sorry. We were just making a joke. Do you want us to take that down?’ Dad looked at it for a while, and next thing you know, Dad had called the radio station and had said, ‘This is the commander at the Combat Alert Center, and we have an unidentified flying object. Why, it looks like a sleigh.’ Well, the radio stations would call him like every hour and say, ‘Where’s Santa now?’ ” Terri says.
For real.
“And later in life he got letters from all over the world, people saying, ‘Thank you, Colonel,’ for having, you know, this sense of humor. And in his 90s, he would carry those letters around with him in a briefcase that had a lock on it like it was top-secret information,” she says. “You know, he was an important guy, but this is the thing he’s known for.”
“Yeah,” Rick [his son] says, “it’s probably the thing he was proudest of, too.”
So yeah. I think that might be the best wrong number of all time.
Source: http://www.npr.org/2014/12/19/371647099/norads-santa-tracker-began-with-a-typo-and-a-good-sport
OH MY GOD I LOVE THIS.
I’ve seen the first post a bunch of times, but never the story of How The Santa Tracker Started.
Rosenberg Loses It On Police Officer Over Alton Sterling Killing #BlackLivesMatter #AltonSterling
Show this to all your “#NotAllCops” friends.

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I took some screenshots of this video, about “leftover women” in China, women who are unmarried and over the age of 25. I took screenshots every time someone said something that created a picture with the subtitles that just…. resonated with me. Something women can truly understand.
These women deserve to be heard.
fun funeral facts
embalming, the process of chemically preserving a corpse, is typically not required by law. unless you need to transport the body long-distance or postpone the burial, it’s 100% a vanity thing.
a body still rots in air-tight conditions. so “protective” or “sealed” caskets are basically a scam, and anything fancy like metal is a waste of money.
want a beautiful casket for a viewing, but think burning or burying an expensive piece of hardwood is a waste of money and trees? rentals exist.
you don’t need a coffin for cremation. the minimum requirement is that the body be in a “cremation container,” which is a simple cardboard box.
home funerals are an option. you don’t need to hand the body over to a funeral home, and you can keep their involvement to a minimum.
natural burial sites exist. you can have your unembalmed body straight up thrown in the dirt to be tree food, if you want.
there are a lot of funeral homes that will prey on your ignorance and vulnerability in order to get as much money out of you as possible. they may imply optional certain services are legally mandatory, steer you away from cheaper options, charge additional costs for what’s supposed to be all-inclusive services, etc.
one person’s death is another person’s profit. know your rights, do your research, and apply the same scrutiny you would to any other business.
For those of you interested, the youtube channel Ask A Mortician does a lot of videos on taboo death subjects, answers questions and is a huge advocate for natural burials and being present during the actual funeral process so you don’t get taken advantage of by the funeral industry. She’s one of my favourite youtubers and I highly recommend her videos.
She also wrote 3 amazing books about death! Smoke Gets In Your Eyes, From Here to Eternity and Will My Cat Eat My Eyeballs? If you’re interested in death (or very scared about it) I definitely recommend them! She writes really funny but still is very honest.
my mom is a well intentioned yet nosy mom and she always wants to hook me up with people. it leads to some text message gems so the other day i went through and screenshotted the best. please enjoy.
I need support like this omg 😂❤
Lmaooo I’m done
lmfao this is cute af
who is this chick
Are there gay bugs?

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When he gets in the tub, sometimes he purrs so loud that the shampoo bottles fall over.
True power
cats’ instinct to smack the shit out of anything and everything is honestly one of their best traits
The extradition bill is being scrapped! The Hong Kong protesters did it!
Serious?
Embattled chief executive makes announcement on Wednesday after meeting allies
Serious. The protests brought Hong Kong to the brink of a recession so that's likely why Lam conceded.
Mod TZ
The chief executive did not concede to protesters’ other demands, which include an independent inquiry into police behaviour, amnesty to those arrested, and democratic reforms to give Hong Kong residents universal suffrage.
From the same link as above. They had five demands. One was conceded. Three are listed above. The fifth was the resignation of Carrie Lam.
Four people are dead. Thousands more were injured. You can see their pictures and videos. At least one woman was permanently blinded. Hundreds, if not thousands, of Hong Kong residents have a criminal record now because of their involvement in these protests.
I’m glad the protesters got something. This was a hard won concession that involved a lot of sacrifice on the part of the protesters.
More articles: https://www.cnn.com/2019/09/04/asia/hong-kong-carrie-lam-extradition-bill-intl-hnk/index.html
https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/hong-kong-leader-expected-to-fully-withdraw-extradition-bill-a-demand-of-protesters/2019/09/04/b3ca1dec-cee0-11e9-87fa-8501a456c003_story.html?noredirect=on
https://www.npr.org/2019/07/09/739783959/controversial-extradition-bill-is-dead-hong-kong-leader-lam-says (NPR segment with written transcript)
rest in fucking pieces, mr. darcy
paintedtapestry THIS SCENE
#imagine being a woman reading this for the first time and throwing her bonnet on#racing as fast as she can down the street to pound on her friend’s door#WHAT PAGE ARE YOU ON DEAR HELEN#NEVERMIND I SHALL SIT WITH YOU UNTIL YOU REACH IT#IT IS MOST DIVERTING (via buckyonthelam)
Well, I didn’t see THAT coming.
Still one of my favorite things on the internet.
get him
SLAAAAAY
I’M HOLLERING!
You, the queen of a fairy tale kingdom, got cursed to give birth to a princess who’s going to live her life isolated in a tower the first 20 years of her life. Narrate how you avoid your daughter’s fate.
She laughed, when she placed the curse on me. Laughed and laughed. She called me a fool for coming to her, for wanting children who would sap my strength and steal my power.
One child to take my kingdom, she promised me. Well, I’d wanted an heir. It didn’t have to be a curse.
One child the sea would steal. There was room in that. They didn’t have to die, only to love the sea. I would buy the finest ships.
And the third would suffer my grandmother’s fate.
The tower.
Grandmother told me stories about that tower, shuddering. About the isolation almost driving her mad. About the desperate longing for escape. I know what that escape cost her, and my grandfather as well, with his scarred face and limping gait.
That was going to be difficult.
The sorceress’s curse worked. Within the year, I held my first babe in my arms, a sturdy boy who kicked and cried and cuddled against his mother as if he hadn’t been made only to bring me grief. Well, all mothers grieve.
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10 Dads Who Didn’t Want A Cat
Via BuzzFeed
This is the /an/ post that keeps on giving.
This is better than anything I’ve ever made.