Always Prime Snooze Time

FANTASIA (1940)

"You are my soulmate. We are forged together by battle and tears and love. Also my brother's coming along."

"Isn't it weird that your brother in law is always hanging around?"

- Very fat, jiggly baby that makes Yuna look tiny when she holds them. Everyone who meets this baby comments on how huge they are. Ilya is constantly squeezing and kissing those rolls. Baby powder bill through the roof. Maximum giggles.

- Serious baby who is Always Watching with a look reminiscent of the Slavic stare. Deep thoughts. Not noisy but when they do babble, it's one loud shout and pointing at something. "Ba!" *points at Shane* "Yes, baby, that is Dad."

- Long-limbed, wiggly baby who stretches *so big* like a frog mid-jump. Personal grudge against the swaddle, smacking and grabbing everything (noses, hair, and Anya's ears are their favorite targets). Ilya and Shane wear this baby on their runs, and that kid kicks their legs like crazy in excitement. This one may require a leash when they learn to walk.

- Clingy, shy baby who cries a lot when not being held. Constantly has their face in Shane's neck. VERY attached to Shane which makes Ilya happy but jealous. Eventually grows just as attached to Ilya and reaches for them both so they're constantly passing them back and forth. Snuggle champion, warm and nuzzly. Inexplicably terrified of Hayden Pike (which Ilya loves).

- Baby who babbles and sings constantly, loves to have conversations with their dads about hockey stats, dogs, and reality TV. Will pick up cadence and rhythms from adults, but all the words are nonsense. Once saw Yuna on the phone with a sponsor she was chewing out and held a block up to their ear and began to angrily babble into it. Social butterfly with everyone, will hand over toys and food to share.

- Baby who is obsessed with Grandpa David to the point where they get them matching hats. The baby screams with joy from the front door when David and Yuna are walking up for a visit. David lets this baby "help" with cooking by banging spoons on bowls and making a mess with the flour. When the baby is upset, Ilya and Shane video call David and let them talk to each other from the ipad.

- Baby that looks exactly like Irina which makes Ilya cry with bittersweet joy. Feels like a gift directly from Mama.

GO OFF BESTIE

Shane, reading a recipe: “Beat three eggs.” In what? Hand to hand combat?

Princess: The hottest thing a man can do is send me five figures on Paypal and fuck off forever.

He’s just not catching nuances like “the purpose of this is to find things, not just to make holes or exercise/play.”