Hi, I Iike ghosts

Tim: *blinks in surprise before leaning into his phone* Uh Tam...when did I get married? And what did I do to ruin it?

Danny: *looking around* Oh my Ancients I'm in the wrong office! I am so sorry! *starts to leave only to back track* By the way your security kinda sucks. I stormed in here, obviously angry, and not once did anyone try to stop me or search me for weapons. I work for a security and bodyguard buisness, I'll leave my card with your assistant if you want to hire more competent gaurds. Sorry again for barging in like that! *leaves, politely shutting the door*

Tim: Tam I need that buisness card, and I need to know everything about that man!

Tam: Tim hes married.

A03 link: Here

Everything goes fine for a while. Danny shuts the cameras down when hes having a bad day, but usually he leaves them and even seems less paranoid about them as time goes on.

But then, Danny finally convinces Jason to let them get a dog. Jason agreed so long as it was small to medium size, so of course that ment they brought home some sort of massive breed that Jason pretty sure is part wolf. Or demon. But Danny insists its a small dog, and won't grow any bigger than 36inches tall, and he looked so happy and in love with the dog that Jason just couldn't say no. At least it was well behaved-

-But after a week or so of having the dog, it started acting weird one morning. Standing the middle of the living room, they barked at the corner of the house repeatedly, not coming for food or water or to play. Finally, Danny checked out what they were looking at, and as he dug around and searched, his body started shaking in fear.

It was a camera. Not one of their, it was more high tech, smaller, and not at all where Danny placed them. Danny threw the camera on the ground, breaking it, before frantically tearing the house apart in search of more, the dog more than happy to help him search. Danny looked and relooked and checked for four hours before finally collapsing in the closet and having a panic attack.

When Jason came home to the house torn apart he freaked out and was relieved to find Danny in the closet with the dog. Though, he was worried that Danny was completely despondent and that his face was stained with tears.

When he finally got him to talk, and tell him about the cameras, Jason was pissed. He had a good idea who planted them, and he was so angry that they caused such a setback.

Jason took Danny and the dog to a hotel, watching with a tense jaw as Danny did a sweep of their room 6 times before laying on the bed and passing out.

"Oh honey, as far as we're concerned you're our flesh and blood!" His mom was quick to reassure him, "Though legally speaking... yes."

Danny frowned as he read through and reread the papers, trying to reconcile the information found there with the story he'd been told. A story about a younger version of his parents, who'd had his sister and decided they were ready for another child but were struggling.

After multiple failed attempts, they sought out a fertility specialist and learned that their years of exposure to hazardous materials had compromised their ability to have children. The fact that Jazz was born first try and without complications was a miracle. A long series of medical records and doctors notes showed all the tests they went through trying to find another way to conceive, culminating in a positive test result for Maddie's ability to carry to term. With renewed hope, they began to research IVF treatments and donors. Unfortunately, they couldn't afford both an egg and sperm donor as they hadn't yet found someone willing to invest in their patents. Not willing to give up, Maddie took to browsing online forums for advice from people who had been in her position. It was there she learned that, similar to organ donors, people who have their embryos frozen can sign a consent form allowing their stored embryos to be donated in the event of their death. This was the lead they were waiting for.

Another couple who had also been struggling to conceive had six embryos prepared and were successful on the fourth attempt, leaving two behind when they passed away. Having signed the consent form, those two embryos had been kept in stasis waiting to be donated. With a confirmation that they were compatible, the Fentons wasted no time in setting up an appointment. The first didn't take but the second did. They took every precaution during the pregnancy, this leading their decision to start wearing hazmat suits even while outside the lab, and nine months later the Fentons were welcoming their second child to the family. At this point in telling the story, Danny had been handed two matching documents; the donor profiles the clinic had given his parents all those years ago. There were no pictures, and information like surname and address had been redacted out of privacy, but they held the health screenings and physical descriptions of a couple named Thomas and Martha. 

"Nothing has to change Danny," His mother stated, "We love you so much and are so proud of you, biological child or not."

"That's right Dann-o!" His father jumped in, "The only difference is that now you know." 

Danny looked at his parents, then to the documents, then back to his parents before asking, "So why are you telling me this now?"

"It was never something we meant to keep from you. And now that you're sixteen, we felt it was the right time," His dad said.

"And," His mom added, "We felt that, if you wanted to have a relationship with your biological family, you should have the chance to find them." She then placed a box on the table, an AncestryDNA kit. "We never had any means of contact to let them know you were born and services like this didn't exist back then. It's okay if you don't want to, but we felt you should have the option."

Danny studied the kit before nodding to himself with determination. "No matter what some DNA kit has to say, you're my parents. You've been there for me my entire life, I'm not going to replace you with some strangers who share blood with me. But.. I would like to know them."

Secure in his decision, he proceeded to complete the DNA collection and send out the test with help from his parents. In a little over a month he would receive his results. He was nervous to find out if he had grandparents or siblings but, a little selfishly, relieved that he wouldn't have to worry about meeting his biological parents. He knows he's old enough that a court would let him choose where he ended up but he doesn't want to think about what would have happened if his bio parents were alive and decided they wanted to fight for custody. That just made him feel guilty though. He should feel sorrow for the parents he never got to meet, and he does, but if they had lived, would they ever have gone back for him? Would they eventually have decided they wanted another child or would he never have been born, forever in stasis as the world went on without him? 

He shoved those thoughts away, not wanting to dwell on them. He doesn't need to worry about 'what if's, they didn't happen after all. This is how his life played out and he wouldn't trade it, his family, and his friends for anything. Now he just has the opportunity to add some new people to that group. Until then, it's back to his normal routine while anxiously awaiting his results.

Later, in a cave in New Jersey far below the surface, an alert would flash on a high tech computer. 

NEW DNA MATCH - 2 CONNECTIONS

Bruce Wayne - Brother 

Danny, nodding: Knife Monopoly.

"So, the hostage has managed to derail the murder plan. Downside is that he's teaching Joker knife monopoly."

Batman "Repeat please?"

Red Robin "You heard me B. Knife monopoly. Least the victim has enough smarts to stall for time."

Spoiler, recording Red Robin: *in a confused voice* Suspect listens to Green Day and Enya, like my guy pick a struggle

Nightwing, recording Red Hood: Suspect died once and made it his entire personality

Red Hood, recording Robin: Suspect has a superiority complex that is way too big for someone his size

Robin, recording Nightwing: Suspect has been engaged at least twice and married never

Red Robin, recording Spoiler: Suspect thinks assaulting people with bricks is a legitimate flirting strategy (Spoiler: It worked on you!)

Signal, who came out at night solely for this, recording Red Robin: Suspect can't come up with an original name and keeps stealing everyone else's

Red Hood, recording Nightwing: Suspect is actually a huge asshole but hides it behind that cheerful demeanor so everyone thinks I'm lying about it

Robin, recording Red Hood: I'm going to let the Suspect keep running because he needs the exercise

Red Robin, recording Batman during patrol: Suspect is the biggest hypocrite in the history of superheroes when it comes to not replacing sleep with caffeine.

Spoiler: Suspect gives out lectures on dating villains, despite having long-term relationship with at least two.

Nightwing: Suspect dodges therapy better than he dodges healthy relationships!

Robin: Suspect constantly lectures me on the value of life and not killing villains, but will leave a man in a coma for the rest of his life for jaywalking.

Red hood: Suspect thanks all criminals should be arrested punished, but lets me go free despite the fact that I’m a murderer. All over his own guilt.

When Danny left the vigilante life to become a paramedic in Gotham he didn't think he'd ever step back into that scene. Much less in this way, because now Danny has Robin riding along with him in the ambulance every shift he's on. 

He didn't think Robin would even remember him after he had helped the kid take care of a hurt and sick kitten at the end of his shift. How wrong he was though because the next night Robin was suddenly in the ambulance saying that he would be shadowing Danny from this point forward. Danny's coworkers were also no help in getting the kid to not do this. 

Robin called this an intern opportunity to learn more about medicine and how to treat people. Danny called it a HIPPA violation. What he thought doesn't seem to matter though as everyone is always just excited to talk to the kid. He ultimately decides to just let it go and be the unwilling mentor to the young vigilante. 

Danny's already running through the list of excuses reasons why he can't have Robin shadowing him. He's expecting some push back but he knows Robin will give up in the end. Robin does not in fact give up.

What actually happens is that Robin keeps throwing fully valid paperwork at each of his objections and refuting them like they're nothing. HIPAA violation? Robin pulls out a certificate that's several levels higher than what would be required for an actual intern. No medical training? Robin pulls out his recently earned credentials on different healing techniques (like CPR and EMT training and idk what else). He has more qualifications than people Danny has worked with before. Danny questions the validity, Robin has him check on the official (national? Gotham?) websites and he has in fact taken the trainings/tests required. There's even a log and videos so he couldn't have just hacked his way into the system.

Danny starts grasping at straws. He brings up child labor laws, Robin shows him a signed permission from Batman with all the requirements filled out perfectly. Danny says he's not comfortable with a minor seeing the level of gore they encounter in Gotham. Robin shows him a few pictures of the more gruesome cases he has participated in during his tenure. Danny talks about disturbed bedtimes and not wanting Robin's grades to drop, Robin shows him his full academic history (name redacted, of course) and his current schedule as a vigilante. Everything's official. Batman's signature is everywhere.

In a last ditch effort, Danny says there's no budget to pay Robin, Robin says that's why it's an unpaid internship and refuses to relent. By the time Danny's officially run out of excuses, Robin's looking at him like he's ready to learn from Danny specifically. His binder's still half full. Danny sighs. He knows when he's been beaten. (Of course he refuses to acknowledge that the actual last blow was when Robin offhandedly mentions his need to know everything he can on medical procedures while mobile just in case anyone in his family ever needs them while working on their more dangerous cases. Danny understands the need to protect family as much as possible. He would do anything to avoid a repeat on the nasty burger incident. He can't deny Robin the chance to get what could possibly help save his family at some point)

Weeks later, when Batman shows up to question Danny about his activities with Robin, Danny stares at him unblinkingly for long enough that Batman almost starts to fidget (Danny's exhausted, ok? He needed the time to even process what Batman was saying). Then he finally just gets up, opens a drawer, pulls out an overstuffed binder and shoves it at Batman. It has a log of all the things Robin has done since he started his internship. It has an index. It's a copy of the official one already filed with the company Danny works for. Robin might be thorough but Danny has experience with OSHA violations and he's not about to compromise safety by cutting corners.

“Hello, my name is Sandra Smith, I’m an agent with Child Protective Services. I have a bit of an odd request, but I’m not quite sure where to direct that request. I figured my best bet would be through the JL, y’know?”

“Um, sure? I can’t promise anything, but I can certainly try to help you.”

“Thank you. See, a child was recently found wandering and they don’t seem to quite… exist? When asked whether he had parents, he stated that his father was Batman. I wanted to see about getting into touch with Batman to verify whether this was true and see about-“

“I’m sorry, ma’am. Batman? See, um, he’s kind of… preoccupied? In the sense that, for the foreseeable future, he cannot physically… uh… answer any summons?”

“What- not even for a possible-“

“Yeah, uh, between you and me, off the record? Batman is uh… gone so… someone else is acting as Batman in his stead, right now. They, like, inherited it or something. It was a bit of a big deal when it happened; I dunno, I’m not a Gothamite, but I heard there was a lot of drama around that time.”

“I… see. Um, thank you for your time. I hope you have a lovely rest of your day.” Sandra hung up the phone quickly, before looking down at her desk.

How was she going to break the news to Danyal?

Glancing across the files on her desk, she tilted her head at the green sticky note stuck to one of them - the Fenton’s? She supposed they had been on the waiting list for quite some time.

…

Danny had a crapton of powers now, raised with midwestern manners and his own friend group, goals and Life.

Danny dropped the ‘al’ from his name due to combo of issues around people saying his name wildly wrong, wanting to fit in given his father was not around and these people took him in out of the kindness of their hearts and people possibly mocking his name for being foreign/not looking the part of his name.

He eventually took on Fenton surname as he got tired of the deadbeat dad comments. Sure his new dad is semi-domesticated mad engineer and his new mom is both a great combatant and semi-domesticated mad chemist. It tied him more to his favorite person in the family, Jazz, and he befriended Tucker within a few weeks of his placement.

Sam join him and tucker when he was 12, and had functionally assimilated.

Ghost shit happens on his 14th birthday, and the trio decide ‘fuck telling the adults’ as Danny could possibly be taken away. He took their name but the state hadn’t allowed them to adopt formally in case his birth mother returned or in case goddamn Batman wanted his son back.

So the trio are hiding his meta powers and how they came to be to keep their friend nearby and relatively safe.

Tucker is aware Danny was told his bio dad is Batman, and would like Danny not to be shipped off to the crime capital of the world, thanks. Sam does not know as Danny gave up on him after realizing he was rejected ‘for the better model’ (Damian) and decided fuck it, he’ll live his life apart from him and never meet the ass that decided he wasnt worth his time.

Trio ACTIVELY avoid JL involvement as they will clearly side with founding deadbeat dad Batman.

Danny somehow gets Jazz in on it when she puts together that if Danny getting powers from an accident in the lab from unsupervised time with his friends means he could be taken away—fuck that shit he’s her brother. She feels bad for not looking out for him and overcompensates by running interference and swiping blueprints or showing them very obviously while berating her parents—letting Danny get a good look in advance to them being made and have time to make it unusable via adjustments or make them less dangerous.

Danny is happily settled into his routine and managing the ghost population and shenanigans into the supernatural. Those are his idiot ecto-entities too fixated on Their Thing to function like the living, and he is their weird little human-ghost keeper that gets mad when he crosses ‘Big Mortal Engagement Lines’ and shoos them back into the Zone.

Danny is a proud teen protector spirit and he is NOT leaving his silly city where his mad engineer and chemist parents dance between science and the occult. He likes it here and is not moving!

—

Damian? Take it like a gut punch. He knew there were clones and other attempts by his mother to have Batman’s child. He assumed they’d been eliminated, and honestly wasnt sure what to do with all of this.

If he was right, it sounds like Danyal had escaped the League of Assassins and just. Failed to find father so he accepted his lot in life and was in a midwestern family’s custody.

Damian tears through danny’s case file and finds out “Danny nee Danyal” has adjusted beautifully to his foster parents’ home and fully integrated into the Amity Park community. While he is notably bullied by a handful of members in the school, he did not retaliate with violence the way Damian would have. He took the hits and instead worked to assimilate often but fell short while making his own discoveries.

Danyal’s feats included communicating with the last female purple back gorilla and being the one to discover her birth sex. He’s known to help with conservation efforts in Amity beside one “Sam Manson”. He’s been seen fixing hardware both around his home and helping others when asked with their own issues. Danyal’s talent for animal communication was noted by zoo handlers, who kept him as a consultant for difficult cases. he apparently took continuing to learn more languages but admits to struggling with speaking the official european dialect of Spanish, and preferring central america’s pronunciation patterns—apparently Guatemalan and Honduran accents were far easier but academically inexcusable.

Damian is not coping well with this.

—

Bruce is spiraling. He missed another son—one who clearly is content where he is but why are there so many out-going calls from Amity to the JL over ghost attacks? What do you mean there’s a local chimera of dead teenagers managing it?

Dpxdc

Danny is in Gotham (yes, that Gotham, different universe, long story) to finish his education before moving on with his life—or afterlife—and eventually ascending to High King status. It’s a good reveal AU. He still has his parents. He still has his friends. Clockwork just strongly suggested that if he wanted to rule the Infinite Realms one day, maybe he should get some cross-dimensional academic experience first.

So now he’s here.

The problem? Everyone is rich. Not “my dad owns a company” rich. More like “we have generational trauma and private islands” rich. Danny tries being friendly. Smiles. Makes conversation. Offers help with homework. It does absolutely nothing. These people only care about connections.

Which would be funny—if it weren’t so isolating—because they have no idea he is, objectively, the single most powerful networking opportunity in the multiverse.

So yeah. He’s a little lonely.

Enter Damian.

One of Damian’s brothers (who will not be named but absolutely thinks he’s hilarious) jokes that Damian has never had a normal civilian friendship in his life. That if he had to, he wouldn’t even know where to start. He offhandedly gestures at Danny like, there, that one looks harmless.

It’s a joke.

Unfortunately, Damian takes it as a challenge.

Not because Danny is a “target.” He isn’t. Damian just fully decides he will prove he can form a normal, healthy, civilian friendship. Out of spite.

There are misunderstandings, but somehow, despite everything, they start… getting along.

And Damian, internally victorious, decides to present Danny to his family as evidence that he can, in fact, maintain a normal friendship.

Danny is delightful.

He charms Alfred. He debates with Tim. He listens to Bruce. He somehow gets Jason to laugh. He and Dick vibe immediately. He treats Damian like an equal without even trying.

For months, the consensus is clear:

Danny is the only normal person at this table.

And then they find his admission essay.

Titled:

“Why Clowns Are Not to Be Given Human Rights.”

He wasn’t planning on truly befriending Danny, Damian had learned not to call him Daniel after an accidental black eye incident. But here he was 6 months later going on a camping trip to go star gazing because Danny was obsessed with everything space.

Damian and Danny had recently had a discussion about Danny’s admissions essay when Tim did some digging out of curiosity and found it. Needless to say, after they all read that Damian was asked by the rest of his family to get further information about why Danny wrote that particular paper. (Jason was already planning what baked goods to gift Danny for that brilliant essay)

Turns out Danny had developed a fear of clowns after he was kidnapped and brainwashed by one that ran a circus that forced the brainwashed people to perform and steal things on the side. (Which was a doozy of a story for Damian to find out that his civilian friend had gone through that BEFORE moving to Gotham) At the very least Danny assured Damian that guy was arrested and still in jail.

Damian and his family were never able to dig up information about the incident but with Danny being from a small town and a minor they just wrote it off as there being only physical documents of the incident and Danny being redacted from anything in the larger system about the whole thing. Danny having also told Damian he only knew the guy’s stage name and not his real one. Which even that didn’t result in anything but still, a no where Midwest circus group not showing up online wasn’t to shocking, and since the situation was resolved already, even though they’d like to know more, Danny was a sweet kid and they didn’t want to dredge up anything that could cause him undue stress (plus Damian and Jason teamed together to force the rest to let it go under threat of blade, gun, and Jason not cooking for anyone for a year)

Fast forward back to the camping trip Damian and Danny were going on at one of Bruce’s private cabins. They’d plan to camp like normal with tents in the property and just use the cabin in case of an emergency.

Though Damian did lie to Danny about why he suggested they go on this trip. Bruce actually having been the one that suggested it after they’d found out all this about Danny and the Joker had escaped again and was possibly targeting kids with dark hair and blue eyes. So to be on the safe side Bruce brought it up to Damian, and while he hated seemingly being benched, he was concerned about Danny’s safety. And with Damian being a witness to Danny’s terrible luck agreed to keep him safe out of town and away from the danger.

Damian was actually surprised Danny’s guardian agreed to let them go camping on their own, clearly Bruce knew Damian would be fine but was ready to have Alfred go with them if Danny’s guardian requested an adult presence, but then he also claimed Danny was more than capable of handling himself and if Bruce was fine with them on their own he was too.

And so here they were in the middle of the woods just hanging out. Damian was somewhat surprised at how much fun he was having. The trip reminded him of the peace he’d sometimes find in the wilderness on his forced survival treks growing up, though this trip was nothing like those treks and he was actually able to enjoy being in nature and not worrying about surviving.

He expected this peaceful trip to pass without incident and go home with Danny in tow to a Joker free city.

But as he should have expected, the universe had other plans.

It was their fourth night on the trip and everything had been going as normal with the routine they’d already fallen into: wake up - eat - hike - go to the lake - swim/relax - fish - eat - hike again - and then start setting up for dinner and to turn in for the night.

Everything was going as normal, when while they were getting ready to head to bed there was a large explosion in the distance.

Both boy froze and looked at each other.

After taking a moment to process, Damian was on alert and reaching for his commutation device that would work in the middle of the woods, when Danny suddenly took off towards the sound with a yell of

“STAY HERE!!”

Without a second thought Damian rushed after him, but quickly lost sight of Danny in the thick woods. He still charged forward in the direction of the explosion, cursing himself for not picking up the communicator before charging after Danny and hoping his friend wouldn’t do anything reckless until at least he got there.

After a few minutes he finally slowed on his approach to a clearing hoping Danny was at least hidden somewhere in the underbrush.

Damian’s heart dropped when he peered into the clearing.

Because there was Danny in all his 5’5” glory staring up at the seemingly leader of a small army of some type of extra-dimensional being if the swirling portal behind them was any indication.

Damian is running battle strategies in his head on how to grab Danny and book it back to the campsite long enough to grab the communicator and keep running with Danny, when he hears Danny speak to the leader

“Leave”

The leader looks down at Danny with a somewhat amused expression

“Oh? And who are you young one to demand me to go”

Damian is shocked at how calm Danny is, and while also impressed at his boldness, is quickly running out of any safe options he can think of to get Danny out of there, the Danny speaks again

“I’m technically your boss so if you could kindly *points to portal* fuck off back to where you came from, it’ll save you a whole lot of time and injuries”

That gave Damian pause, and while a part of him was still screaming at Danny “WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING!!”, his training kicked in to analyze the situation more, because Danny spoke with too much certainty that these beings had to listen to what he was demanding for it to be fully any type of ruse he was trying.

The leader of the group also took pause with what Danny said and was clearly analyzing him for any indication of why he spoke so confidently. When the leaders face abruptly fell and the color drained from his face and he got down and kneeled to Danny with an apology off his tongue faster than the initial explosion.

“I apologize High King for my insolence, I did not recognize you for a moment. I did not realize this dimension was under your protection! We will leave at once per your command and I will extend an official gift of apology once we have returned!”

Danny was just standing there with his arms crossed unbothered by the whole interaction with only a reply of

“Per my official orders, as you should be well aware of, any and all concerning of other dimensions is strictly forbidden under my rule. Go now and return, be prepared to explain yourself in court, and do not think of running, I know you now and there will be nowhere in all of existence I will not be able to find you”

Damian watches and the army quickly flees - the portal vanishes - and it’s quiet as if none of that ever happened.

Only when Danny starts to turn around back in the direction of their campsite does Damian show himself.

At this Danny startles

“Oh uuuuuhhhh…hiiiii Damian..uh fancy seeing you….here…”

“….Danny care to explain what that was?”

And for the next 3 days Damian gets the whole spiel of Danny’s whole story and learning not only is his one normal civilian friend the furthest thing from that. But Damian learns he somehow befriended probably the most powerful entity in the entirety of existence.

Damian decides that it’s only fair Danny the know he’s Robin and the real reason they went on the trip. Which Danny is touched by his concern. And Damian also asks if he can at least tell his family since they are good at keeping secrets, which Danny does agree to.

When they finally return home Damian announces to his family that he did loose the challenge actually but now he has a powerful ally forged through the bonds of friendship and then proceeded to tell them everything that happened the just walks away.

When asked about sharing with the rest of the family, Danny rubs the back of his neck. "I'd rather not? I guess if you have to, but it will make everyone super weird. You're probably the only one who won't turn this into a big thing."

Damian thinks about this. They wouldn't be weird about Danny having powers or being from another dimension, but his position as the king of dimensions would definitely affect them. Even if his family believed that knowledge wouldn't change how they saw him, subconsciously was another story. As diplomats and strategists, Danny would end up categorized as an authority of dimensional stability first and Danny second. His father would create end up spiralling into treaties, discussions, and contingencies, especially because of the magic stuff.

Making his decision, Damian nodded.

Upon their return, Damian tells his family that he failed the challenge. He could not have a normal friend. He leaves and refuses to elaborate further.

"I have already admitted my failure of the challenge. What more do you require? I will not hand you the blade for you to mock me with it."

Everyone freaks out. What happened? How did Damian drive off Danny? He was so chill and laid back.

Immediately, they devise all sorts of plans and begin investigating. They unanimously agree that they have to do whatever it takes to force Damian and Danny to make up in classic over the top and convoluted Batfam style.

To say that weekend was a weird one even by Danny's standard is an understatement. By the end of it, the Batfam have nothing to show for their efforts and are beginning to despair.

Monday rolls around, and they are ready to watch the disaster that was about to unfold at the school.

Danny runs up to Alfred's car like any other time, all smiles. The Batfam spy from the bushes. Dick tightens his grip around the big trauma kit, ready to jump in at a moment's notice.

...

Only for Damian to get out and greet Danny like usual, possibly even warmer than before. No matter how long they watch, nothing changes. Eventually, they confront Damian about why he hasn't broken up his friendship with Danny yet.

"I have no intention of relinquishing Danny as a friend. Imbeciles. I said was that I failed to have any normal friends."

Horror dawns on them as they put the pieces together. The Batfam is floored. Devastated. At a loss. What on earth could Damian be talking about?

The s/o is so frustrated with their futile search that they do the last thing anyone would expect them to.

They communicate with their partner.

S/O: Okay, I’m dying to know. Where are you getting this jewelry?

Danny: …you sure you want to know? Because if we take the mystery out of it, it’s not as fun anymore.

S/O: Oh God, it’s worse than I thought.

Danny: No! No it’s… embarrassing I guess. But fine I’ll tell you.

Danny leaves for his room only to come back a minute later with a handful of cut gems and a half-finished pendant.

Danny: I inherited this stuff a while back and while I’ve been able to send some of it to museums or back to the religious sites they were stolen from, there was a lot that was just unorganized loose gems and precious metals.

Danny: I learned jewelry smithing in high school while i was trying to work through some things and once I had access, I started making pieces with the expensive stuff.

His S/O is furiously trying to reconstruct their theories but Danny keeps bulldozing them with each new word.

S/O: Why not sell some of it? You live in a shitty apartment with a shitty landlord but also have easy access to 5 karat rubies?

Danny: Profiting off of someone else’s suffering is bad for my mental health. Even if that suffering wasn’t caused by me.

Danny: But I love spending hours designing and crafting each piece so they bring out your eyes in every perfect way.

S/O proceeds to silently fall a little bit more in love with Danny.

———

Later

Constantine: What’s the news with your burglar boy?

S/O: I don’t know why you know about that but it’s none of your business.

Constantine: Really?

Constantine: Because little rock you’ve got hanging from your neck has one of the most powerful protection blessings I’ve ever seen. I bet you could bitch-slap Trigon while wearing that and walk away untouched.

S/O:

S/O: …asking for a friend, how would someone inherit something like that?