Random Ass Shit

Fuck I’m at a fencing tournament and literally a minute after I reblogged this my dad told me that he talked to the point people and I’m probably going to win a medal.

BURN BAGEL BURN

OH WHY NOT?

Yeah, sure, I’ll try anything at this point.

Alcohol will only make a person cheat if they’d considered doing it while sober. Being drunk changes your behavior, not your morals.

sir this is your great grandmother’s funeral can you please stop saying mmm whatcha say after every pause

if you read this you’re cute no take backs

once i found out about polyamory, love triangles as a plot device lost 98% of their appeal

we don’t usually reblog/post cosplay stuff, but a friend pointed it out to me and i haven’t seen it elsewhere SO maybe it can help someone!

Useful for cosplay AND if you’re applying for a job that views tattoos as ‘unprofessional’. 

Also good for hickeys

This just seems useful for any purpose so here you go

Actually works on hickeys… Trust me

My family is Jewish. Big family dinner coming up. Thank you.

IM TIRED OF HIM OH MY GOD

Have you ever been so bad at a subject that when you have a test you cheat and you still fail cause I did

You have fucking Velma as your icon

I solve mysteries not equations

That’s fucking amazing.

fucking read it oh my god,

Crazy ride from beginning to end

Where did the baby alligator come into it

are you going to let nicki minaj down

TINY STEVE WOULD FUCKIN WRECK CATCALLERS CAN YOU IMAGINE THAT LITTLE PRE-SERUM SHIT BACK IN BROOKLYN IF SOMEONE WAS HOOTING AND HOLLERING AT A GIRL ON THE STREET HE WOULD LAUNCH ALL NINETY POUNDS OF ASTHMA AT THEM WHILE BUCKY GETS THE GIRL TO A SAFE DISTANCE AND DOUBLES BACK TO GET HIS TINY ANGRY CHIHUAHUA OF A BEST FRIEND OUT OF THE FRAY

reblogging because i also think this is really important for trans boys who might get their periods suddenly and not be prepared. like have your bro’s back. how cool is that?

also an excuse for trans boys to have pads on them if they’re caught by someone who didnt know they had a uterus. please make this common place so that excuse doesnt sound so awkward

Jupiter Ascending: settle for nothing less than a werewolf space angel who gifts you flying rollerblades and treats you like a fucking queen

If life hands you a werewolf space angel, grab onto that puppy with both hands and don’t let go

GOOD