De Mí Para Mí

Apparently there's more to it than bathing and and spraying perfume.

The formula:

Category 1: The Hair

Let's start at the top shall we?

This consists of your hair products:

Pick a scent, for this category you can have any type of scent, be it fresh or sweet or floral, etc. but the trick is to make sure it plays well with other scents

Make sure your shampoo and conditioner are of your chosen scent or have your scent as one of the notes

Alternatively, you can choose a fragrance free or a low fragrance shampoo and conditioner

Your hair oil/ cream/ mousse/ deep conditioner/ mask/ hot oil treatment etc. should be of your chosen scent but don't stress too much about it as it can be hard to find good products that are of the same scent

Use a hair perfume that has your chosen scent as one of the notes

This category is quite simple, you'll use your shampoo and conditioner and your other hair care products every time you shower and then your hair perfume every morning.

Via CamiaVillas.com

Category 2: The Body (base)

Next up we have any body care products that you use, this includes:

Shower gels

Scrubs

Lotions

Deodorant

Shaving cream

Body oils

Hand soap

Hand sanitizers

Hand cream

Foot cream

Body mists

Any other products that you use in the shower and/ or on your body go here:

Pick a scent, it should be common so that you can easily find products for it

It can be of any scent type but it should play well with other scents so pick something simple

Make sure your body care products are of your chosen scent or have it as one of it's notes

Most of these products will be used in the shower

This category is slightly more complicated, you have to make sure that most of your products smell like your chosen scent but don't worry too much if one or two of your holy grail products aren't of your chosen scent; you can obviously still use them.

Your lotion, deodorant, hand cream, foot cream and body mist will be used daily so they are the ones that are the most important to focus on.

Category 3: The Body (Fragrance oil)

This is a special one. Fragrance oils are commonly used in Middle Eastern cultures as they tend to be long lasting, concentrated scents that have a more intimate sillage, but they are quite potent nonetheless.

Pick a scent, either oud or musk, these too are the best to pick because of the nature of fragrance oils and the availability of both scents in oil form

If you are worried about options, don't be, there's more than just pure oud/ musk. Trust me; I once smelled a chocolate scented musk oil

But if you are not a big fan of oud/ musk then there are still many other scents ranging from Egyptian amber to patchouli to rose

I love applying fragrance oils on my décolletage area and behind my ears as well as in between my elbows

I use it daily, after I shower. I am completely obsessed with them.

I would recommend getting oud/ musk oils, as well as other scents, from Middle Eastern brands like Rassasi, but there are also many designer brands that are more accessible to someone leaving elsewhere that have started coming out with fragrance oils.

Category 4: Clothing

This one is often over looked:

Make sure you have a good smelling detergent that is not too strong or too weak

Pick a scent, I would only really recommend vanilla for this category

Bit if you're feeling bold (ish) you can get something mixed with vanilla, eg. a vanilla and cherry combo

Another option that is more potent is bakhoor, it's very common in gulf countries to go over your garments with bakhoor smoke, the smell will stick onto the clothes and it usually smells heavenly

All you have to do is spritz your clothing before wearing or passing steam from the bakhoor on your clothes.

Here is a picture of Bakhoor burning to make the room smell nice.

Via @nnalfares

Category 5: Perfumes

A very fun one. It can be as simple or as complicated as you like:

Pick a perfume

or two

or three

The perfume(s) should go with your other scents

If you are new to the world of perfume then wearing one at a time is enough. But if you want to up your game layering perfumes is such a fun way to get a unique scent

You can either layer perfumes by spraying one on your shoulder and the other on your neck or any other variation of that sort, or you can directly mix them together by spraying them in the same place

Layering requires studying the notes of fragrances and A LOT of experimentation

Layering can be tricky and can go very wrong very fast, if you are new to fragrances I would suggest one perfume to start with and then work your way up if you want.

I usually spritz some perfume on my wrist/ elbow as well as my décolletage area and the back of my head or I will spritz some in the air and shimmy through it, depending on the strength of the perfume.

Some general tips:

This is a given but bathe daily

Less is more if you are too scared to go all in

Use vaseline before applying perfume

It can be hard to find products that smell the same/ similar so you can def break the rules a little

You can also do scent groups instead of individual scents, for example instead of picking rose for your hair scent you can do floral this way you have more options when it comes to products

Remember a product only needs to have one note that is your chosen scent, for example you chose coconut for your body scent, if you have a body lotion that smells like a Piña colada then it would meet the criteria

Unscented products can be a workaround for this

Bath & Body works is a game changer when it comes to body care products, almost always will you be able to get a body mist, a lotion, a shower gel, a hand soap and a hand sanitizer in the same scent and sometimes even a hand cream, a body scrub, a shimmer mist, a room spray and a body butter

Make sure your house smells good, the scent can linger on you

Carry some body mist/ perfume/ oil with you for resprays if needed

You can also use other products with the same scent as your fragrance, for example, Coco Mademoiselle by Chanel has a perfume, a deodorant, a body mist, a lotion, a hair perfume, a shower gel, a soap, etc. The only problem you may encounter is that not all perfumes will have multiple products of the same scent and your scent may not be unique as it's not a mixture

Do your research, with that being said Fragrantica is a good site for exploring notes and reviews of perfumes/ body mists and it also measures other metrics like longevity and is super helpful

Last but not least use combos that are tried and tested like oud, rose and vanilla or jasmine, vanilla and musk

I'll be uploading every new scent routine I will have from now onwards. One is coming very very soon, as we transition into summer my scent routine changes, so keep an eye out for that post.

Now go smell heavenly <3

Serena

Pay attention to EVERYTHING, all the textures and materials. You’ll want to stick with high quality woods, marbles, fabrics, and metals. Match them all per room if you can.

Kitchen: plateware, glassware (need tons of decanters and wine glasses), trays, fruits, teas, liquors, ice cream maker, blender, utensils, fun ice trays (if your fridge doesn’t have an automatic ice dispenser), comfortable but stunning rugs, cocktail mixer. Focus should be straight lines here—find the curves in interesting plateware and glassware.

Living room: card games, checkers or chess, coasters, plants, chaises and daybeds, instruments, books, art pieces, record player/gramophone, large area rug, aquarium, lamps, planetarium lights, ashtray (if you smoke), candles of all shapes and sizes, ambiance lighting, bar cart, dramatic curtains, throw pillows and blankets (fur, leather, or velvet). Keep the lines in this room curved.

Bedroom: decanter with two glasses filled with water (to drink at night), ambiance lighting, dramatic curtains, art pieces, couch or chaise if big enough, bar cart (for weed as well if you smoke), quality sheets, unique comforter, wonderful backboard, beauty area with its own seating, plants, large area rug, speaker or record player, trays and open shelving for little decorations, water feature. Play with furs, leathers, silks, and velvets. Lines in this room should definitely be a mixture between straight and curved.

Becoming the best version of you is a long process, but why not make it enjoyable ? Here’s my categories & tips for turning into the girl you want to be.

Investing in yourself 💌

Spending $$$ on yourself is not selfish ! Go get your lashes, nails, & toes done. Also throw in a facial ! In order to be the best you, you need to feel confident and ready for any outing.

Even if it’s just going to the grocery store, you must show up as the person you want to be !

A list of things to pamper yourself with :

Body wash, body scrub

leave-in hair conditioner

Cleanser, serum, moisturizer

Set of matching lotion & perfume

Lip gloss, lashes, highlighter

Facial mist

Cleansing your mind 💌

Just as we need to cleanse our face before bed, we must cleanse our mind before we make any important decisions, purchases, and connections. If your mind is a mess, you will not be able to evolve !

How to cleanse your mind :

Clean your room ! Your room is a direct image of your mental state.

Clean your sheets, surfaces, and organizers.

Organize your makeup, skincare, and closet.

Clean out your phone

Unfollow people that don’t bring you joy, or are just flat out toxic.

Just as Saweetie said, “have a block party” BLOCKING IS SELFCARE !

Please please don’t follow people you compare yourself to, it’s unhealthy. You are YOU ! You don’t need to be constantly comparing yourself to unrealistic beauty standards & people who are on a different journey than you. You’re always going to be beautiful you !

Get rid of any toxic ‘friends’ in your life, if you can’t cut them off, just fall back. Don’t share your personal projects, ideas, and goals with them anymore.

Keep to yourself, the less people know about what you have going on, the less negative energy you’re putting into your personal path of life.

Have alone time. Dedicate a few hours of each day to just be with yourself, and learn more about you. Don’t get too wrapped up in social media because you truly only have yourself !

Treat yourself with kindness 💌

When we are constantly seeing others & how well they’re doing, it can really hurt our personal beings. Not everything we see on the internet is real, and you can still be happy & content without a social media presence.

Don’t push yourself to be an image of a person that you just, aren’t ! Like I said before, you’re you. You’re always going to be your own, unique person. So please don’t follow trends & personalities that aren’t your own.

Be gentle with yourself, take care of your skin, hair, and nails. Cleanse your mind everyday, take time out of each day to care for YOU ! Take a nap, brush your hair, and tell yourself affirmations, you deserve love & comfort.

Confidence 💌

Be confident in the way you carry yourself, what’s the point of being insecure ?? You only have this one body for all we know of, so please love it ! Love every part of it, there’s nobody exactly like you.

Self love is the key to true beauty, when you love yourself, your aura radiates a kind & pretty energy.

Becoming confident is a decision that YOU have to make, so read up on how to wake up that confidence inside of you.

Credits 💌

Bratz photo

Nails

Lashes

Outfit

Saweetie “block him” video

Be that woman who uses SPF50 even in winter because she has done her research on skincare and the importance of taking care of her skin all-year round.

Be that woman who looks polished to the nines for any occasion, simply because every day is an occasion to celebrate her divine femininity.

Be that woman who wears her pearls, silky robes and perfume even at home and doesn’t need a special occasion to enjoy luxury.

Be that woman who chooses her own wellbeing, her own selfcare, her own mental health, above all (because nobody gets a medal for being a doormat and sacrificing their life for another).

Be that woman who takes great care of her skin, body and hair by educating herself and investing in the best products for her - even before she’s 40, or 30, even before any skin conditions appear forcing her to take better care.

Be that woman who is so incredibly brave to step outside her comfort zone and continuously challenge herself to become a better person, a kinder person; to do more, to achieve more, to be more.

I see advice all the time for the very wealthy (or aspiring) and was interested if you have advice for people destined/settled in middle class area but still want to level up their life, relationships and finances. Maybe leveling up within the middle classes? Thank you 💕

Thank you love 🥰 such a good question! I agree there’s tons of information for the aspiring wealthy, but it’s completely normal to not want that for yourself. The middle class life is definitely something worth striving for.✨

Leveling up within the middle class

Stay away from debt. One thing the middle class have in common is their debt! It’s actually how our economy (in the US) thrives! How is that? Well they tell the middle class to go to college (introduction to debt), get married (use a credit card to pay for the wedding), then buy a home (more fuckin debt), then get a car (debt, debt, debt and more fuckin debt). Before you know it, you’re 28 with over $100k in debt. But it’s totally ok because everyone tells you it’s normal🙄. Honestly.. you’ll never truly be financially stable by owing someone else money. If you want to level up in this tax bracket, please don’t fall victim to the excessive amounts of car, credit card, and loan debt. For example, in 2019, a lot of government employees didn’t get paid for almost a month because we had a government shut down. Employees, particularly in the middle class, were panicking. Which they had every right to be!! They couldn’t make their car payments, mortgages, boat payments, etc. This showed everyone that the middle class is just one paycheck away from poverty. Of course, this doesn’t have to be you! Not ALL middle class people are like this, but the majority are. That’s only if you let your debt and expenses exceed your income. I’m NOT telling you to not buy a house, car, or get an education. I just want you to be mindful of how much debt you’re acquiring. There’s ways of buying a home and car DEBT FREE, you’ll just have to put in work to make it happen. Credit card companies, mortgage lenders, and automobile companies stuff advertisements and “deals” down the middle class’s throat so please be aware of this and be smart!

Save like your life depends on it. To level up within the middle class, always have a savings cushion. As I mentioned earlier, the middle class is ALWAYS being bombarded with ads, commercials and tempting purchases. Though it may be tempting, make sure your savings account is thriving first. Always have AT LEAST 6-12 months of expenses saved. Yes, this is a lot of money and will take a while to accomplish. I’m not saying don’t buy nice things until your savings account has this much money (which this isn’t a bad idea) but I’m saying make sure you’re working toward your savings goals before taking shopping sprees and vacations. This isn’t something you’ll be able to achieve within a month or two. This takes time but make it a priority goal of yours. Being middle class, you may be more vulnerable to job loss, recessions and economic turns so it’s best to always be prepared. I actually have a post about saving money and how I saved $24k last year, so look into that!

Create healthy friendships and relationships. I’m glad you asked about relationships because this plays a huge role in how you spend your money! Imagine having a friend thats always bragging about their new car, new vacation, and new house. Of course you’re going to be happy for them but you also may start feel like “damn, maybe I should buy one too!” It’s only human nature to feel this way. But, when it comes to friendships, it’s best to keep people around you that live below their means. This doesn’t mean you have to get friends below your tax bracket or friends that don’t buy anything nice. It simply means to get friends who are on the same page as you financially. If you want to focus on saving money, not eating out, and stacking up then hang out with friends who are on the same page. Maybe you want to go out, take trips, and enjoy life, but do it modestly while still saving. Then hang out the friends that are doing the same. I promise, you’ll reach your goals so much faster when you surround yourself with like minded people. I have a friend that makes over $300k/year and only spends a third of that. She saves a lot of money, takes vacations modestly, and budgets like crazy. Of course it’s okay to have bougie friends (they’re the most fun honestly, lol) but also keep friends that are financially wise and savvy so you don’t feel the need to “keep up with the Joneses”. When it comes to your love life, get a partner that’s on the same page as you! If your partner has no desire to live the middle class life, then don’t marry him lol. If you tell your partner you want to be able to purchase a 3 bedroom home, put your 2 kids through private school, and drive a nice car and he doesn’t want that, then it’ll be foolish to marry him. If you’re in a serious relationship, it’s time to have the “money talk” with your partner. The money talk is when you discuss all things money, income, debt, and credit scores. Girl, don’t be afraid to ask them how much debt they have, what’s their credit score, and their income/career goals! Before marrying my husband, I told him he must get rid of his credit card debt first lol. This may sound petty but when you get married, their debt becomes your debt. If they die or divorce you, you’re still responsible for their debt so I wasn’t going to take that on! Do not take this conversation with your partner lightly. It’s important to get real answers. Money problems are one of the biggest causes of divorce so please do not get married or get into a serious relationship without making sure you and your partner want the same thing (or similar) in life.

Income/Careers. In the US, to be considered middle class you would typically make $50-150k/year. Not bad right? Most careers that require a 4-year degree can get you that. Just do your research and make sure your career matches up with your life goal. For instance, if you aspire to be home everyday by 3pm to spend time with your kids and make your family dinner then going into the accounting field may not be a good fit for you because of the long hours. Or maybe you aspire to have a husband that makes the money so you can be a stay at home mom. Then make sure his career is a stable one that’s able to support that while affording you the life you want to live. Everyone’s life and income goals are different, and there’s no right or wrong answer but just make sure your career path is align with the life you invision for yourself.

Never be afraid of change. Since you asked how to level up in life, I thought I’d touch base on this. I only want to touch base on this a little bit because everyone has different goals so it’ll be difficult to answer this question generally. But one tip I want to leave you with is don’t be afraid of change! Change states, change schools for your kids, change your house, change jobs, etc. I’ve heard of people who stayed at a company they hated for 30 years simply because they didn’t want to look for another job. Sounds crazy right? Imagine being miserable for 30 years simply because you didn’t want to change. You may be thinking, when is change necessary? When you want to change the quality of your life. For example, making $50-150k/year in New York is nothing compared to making $50-150k/year in Tennessee. As some of you may know, the cost and quality of living drastically changes depending on what state you live in. If you’re middle class, always consider where your dollar could stretch the furtherest. This isn’t being cheap, it’s being smart. Imagine you could provide your family a bigger home, a better education for your kids, and better quality of living simply by moving. Now, this isn’t an easy decision to make, especially if you love being close to your family, which is why I said just consider it. I made the decision to move to California years ago, and never looked back. I knew I could make more money here and network with more like minded individuals so for me, it was necessary. This wasn’t easy. In my first two years, I felt so alone, had to call my parents for everything lol, and struggled to adjusts. But looking back, it’s the best decision I could’ve made for myself and family. Another reason to consider change, is when considering switching careers. Our economy and workforce is at a fast growing pace right now, and if you want to remain in this tax bracket, then don’t be afraid to continue your education or switch careers if it means a better life for you and your family. Change is scary and uncomfortable for most people and I completely understand. However, if you want to continue to level up in life that will not come with being stagnant.

Glowing up is far from easy and I would be a liar if I told you living your day to day life & remembering that your “that bit*h” was a walk in the park. Unfortunately society, family, friends, the people we meet and the sticky situations of life often want to prove us wrong and make us believe we are less than, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. As a woman, no matter what age you are it’s never to late to glow up, to change your life, change the direction, career or path and become the girl/women you’ve always wanted to be! As females we often fantasise about the ideal version of ourselves - but she only lives in our minds or on our mood boards, we never actually start working towards becoming that person, and the main reason for that is that we do not believe we can become our own dream girl and so much more, we see other doing it but we don’t believe it can happen to us - and I’m here to tell you it fu*king can!

MISCONCEPTION ALERT!! in my humble opinion, it is very doable. bougie is a phrase, just like high maintenance, gold digger, diva, etc., that has been made to degrade women who demand more from life. you can always take a negative and flip it to a positive. “no, I’m not a b*tch, I’m just sure of myself, know my worth, and am determined to get what I want!” for some reason this makes people (specifically insecure, tacky women and dusty, unambitious men) so uncomfortable, that it angers them. a bougie girl is taken care of, dressed to the nines at all times, highly maintained, and has an undeniable confidence about her. a lot of women that are considered “bougie” appear so with:

she has her hair done nails done everything did

she accessorizes to full capacity

her clothes are never stained or wrinkled

she’s not loud or unkempt

she is exclusive with the company she keeps

she stays busy with something, big or small

she has a signature look

her belongings are always clean (car, home, room, bed, etc

she is kind and has manners

it’s tacky to genuinely think you are better than others, deep down in your heart. it’s classy to know that no matter what anyone else is doing, YOU ARE A DIAMOND! @expensiveity described it perfectly. “no I don’t think anyone is beneath me, but I’d never want to trade places with the next.”

•Working out regularly, I have been doing mainly cardio and tummy/waist exercises. It makes me feel so good, moves around the stagnant energy, and uplifts my mood

•Doing breast massages with coconut oil multiple times a day, this has made them so plump and round, my skin is softer, and they’re growing as well. It is a good practice for the heart chakra, as it opens it and gets the energy flowing through the blood.

•Caring with love and kindness for my hair, oiling my scalp and spraying it with a mix of water and essential oil blends. I love my curl pattern so much

•Doing mini digital detoxes during the day, I don’t feel the need to check out my phone all the time now

•Getting in touch with my breath, and concentrating on it when I feel stressed or jittery

•Letting go of old beliefs and misconceptions that I’ve had about life, the other day I wrote them on a paper and burned it with the intention of letting go. This felt so freeing and It was like a weight was lifted off of my shoulders. Im gonna do it more often, because sometimes we are our own limitation and enemy, certain beliefs hinder our own happiness and growth

•Eating with the intention of love, love of food, love of my body, and love of life

•Blessing myself, I hold divine essence, so whenever I feel the need to I place my hands on my head or my heart and just bless myself, I feel the presence of God and use it to regenerate myself

Using the material to bring love, healing, prosperity to your life is a great way to manifest and heal! I know some people get bogged down with doing shadow work, meditating 18 times,  affirming, chanting over and over again and basically begging the universe to rain down blessings.

But I believe that we can create change with our material actions too!

Flowers & Plants beautify our spaces and bring good Feng Shui but they all have unique properties. They can also soak up excess energy that surrounds us!

Perfumery. Some scents conjure wealth, others invoke peace and tranquillity and others bring sensuality and seduction. All can be used for your benefit in shifting your reality.

Cleanliness is so important for every reason possible. A clean environment brings favorable energy to you. It starves parasite low spirits and scares away unnecessary hostility and anger.

Experimenting with food and drink can be helpful. I find sparkling drinks can be great for self love work just like coffee is great for road opening work. Fruit can help enhance more happy and calm energy in you. There’s a whole branch on kitchen witchery if you are interested.

Look for the divine in everyday life. This can be books, cinema, film or social media. Even the most simple things can have complex spiritual meanings. This will bring great peace to you as see the planet is one big simulation.

If you are a lady, know that you represent the various faces of the pleasurable divine feminine. Adorn and pamper yourself as you see fit in ways that make you feel confident. Buy the extra fancy body butter, go for a massage and facial or just sleep an extra two hours minutes!

Visit local sites and learn more about your local folklore. Many of you live in spiritually charged places and places with rich ancestry including your own ancestry. It is really worth visiting those places and sowing your energy there.

Bathe in energy so if you feel overwhelmed, depressed or whatever. Go to the mall! Go feed in the energy on a nice restaurant or bar with your friends. Whats the point in screaming to the universe but never actually wanting to be in it? LOL

Bring in new items into your home in order to keep the energy of brand new around you. Constantly throw away what is broken, damaged and worn the fuck out!

Burning herbs - It is beneficial for those who are interested. This is also great for discharging, raising your vibrations and diminishing negative energies. You may choose any herb you prefer but please share your tips on smokable herbs, shrooms etc!

• Spending time listening to lectures and intellectuals online.

• Fueling my mind with new books and podcasts.

• Strategically planning my next moves and organizing my life.

• Going to museums and travelling.

• Waking up early in the morning to exercise.

• Working on a vision for the type of family I want for my future and the type of woman I want to personify.

• Seeking communion with God to grow spiritually, putting him above everything else.

Over

• Wasting my time watching pointless series and movies.

• Hanging out with losers who would rather gossip.

• Going to the club to surround myself with low quality people in low vibrational environment.

• Damaging my brain with alcohol and drug substances.

• Damaging my body eating "comfort" unhealthy food.

• Making up excuses for my life and wasting every second that goes by.

• Giving my body up to any man that gives me attention and being careless about my future.

It’s a mixture of someone’s character paired with the level of their ability.

Confident – Belief in your skills, experience and ability to be successful at whatever you pursue.

Articulate – Can speak in a clear, descriptive manner that is easily understandable yet informative.

Likeable – You have a willingness and ability to develop rapport and engage with people.

Intelligent – You possess a mixture of emotional, social, interpersonal, and academic intelligence. You have a history of achievement or the desire to achieve more, and continue to progress.

Brave – This can be your ability to back yourself or defend your opinion. Challenging how things are done if you feel they can be improved. Or generally getting out of your comfort zone whether it’s public speaking or trying something new.

Realistic – Yes you are ambitious, but also measured in your thought process and expectations. You understand your strengths, but more importantly are aware of areas for development and how you will look to build upon or improve this skill set.

Enthusiastic – You are a glass half full type of person. You show interest in who you are talking to and are passionate in what you are taking about.

However, this is all invalid and no longer applies to a person if they look down on others who aren’t on the same path as them in life. Anyone who views themselves as “better than” or tries to undermine the calibre of any other person loses all respect and credibility from me.

Black women as a whole place the responsibility of race before their womanhood, and adopt the struggles included in that charge. Your blackness does not come before your womanhood.

In accepting this charge (“I am black before I am a woman”) you accept the responsibility of racism, and become responsible for fighting it for a lifetime. Placing the burden of racism before being a woman eradicates the keystone of femininity: flow. If you are constantly fighting an invisible, irreversible force, you are never in a state of flow.

As seen in recent news, black men have become the driving force and face of the racism we face as a collective. George Floyd is the name and face you hear on TV, news, etc. Not Breonna Taylor. This depiction of racism being primarily at the detriment of black men changes racism into a fight against forces that impact black men only. Read that again. As a result of this, black women’s issues are, as they always have been in major movements, brushed aside.

As mentioned prior, black women’s acceptance of this primary role in fighting racism not only disrupts our femininity, we often also become complicit in misogynoir. Think of the aunties that support R. Kelly or Bill Cosby despite their allegations, or protect the rapist in the family. In all of these instances the black man is defended solely based on his blackness, and the woman’s womanhood is disregarded. However we may not realize that we do things like this as well. The trend of “My soulmate/husband will be black!” is majority upheld by black women, meanwhile, black men rarely say this, if you don’t believe me, look for yourself on Twitter. These self directed microagressions uphold these same standards.

The erasure of black womanhood at the expense of blackness also provides us no benefit. Even if we magically live to see the complete erasure of racism (let’s be realistic!) we as women still face the women effects of patriarchy! We will still be hit in the face with skateboards at the hands of black men for rejecting them because we are women. We will still have to fight for our reproductive rights because we are women. We will still have to carry weapons and not be able to walk alone at night because we are women. Do you know any black men marching for reproductive rights and holding their friends accountable for being sexual predators? No. Because the current system at least affords black men the power of patriarchy. They are not who we should be fighting for! Because when the chips fall the only person who cares about black womens issues are black women! Because no one else faces the severity of the issues we do.

Depictions of black womanhood revolve around either men, struggle, or race, and oftentimes, all three. Every movie of a black woman you see she is in a constant state of chaos, which she must fix or become more placatable in order to fix. This imagery teaches black women that their femininity revolves around struggle.

Black womanhood must be defined by something more ancient and pure. Not the practices of our enslaved ancestors whose entire lives were rooted in struggle and binding pain, but those who came before them. We must define black womanhood for ourselves, outside of men. Think of every role you believe a black woman should fill, if any of them have anything to do with men, or racism, you are doing it wrong.

A sacred and safe level up space —— explore all things feminine in their highest form to honor your inner goddess… from the material to the spiritual.

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