I will have sex with your car

the space race may be the funniest point in history period and i'll stand by that. the US is like "yes whoever gets into space first will prove once and for all that our economic model is superior and that we are, in general, the superior country of superior and smarter people." then the soviets just went and did it and the US freaked out and needed to cover their ass so were like "WE MEAN THE MOON, WE MEAN THE FIRST TO LAND ON THE MOON."

yeah its cus walking on the moon was cool as hell and all this other boring shit sucked ass

Green + yellow + orange is a highly underrated colour combo

i told my dad the joke “dad jokes are just mom jokes that a man repeated louder” and he thought it was hilarious. he turned to my mother, intending to relay the joke to her, and a bare second after he opened his mouth i watched it dawn on his face that he was about to become the subject of the joke. when i tell you that man was slackjawed as he turned back to me, like he had an entire life altering realization in the span of about 20 seconds.

sorry i don't post much i'm literally a vessel

@Ianumeh | Umearigolu Chukwuebuka Casmir

Sigourney Weaver my clocky cis princess

What happened to all the square jawed cisgender women in movies after their faces went out of style. They went missing. We lost something

This post from my drunk liveblog of Aliens (1986) was kinda real like where are they. Every mainstream actress looks like a praying mantis now

I once sent a woman a text message so interesting that she took three whole days to read it

I know this is going to make me sound extremely "old man yells at could", but I feel like the concept of "Civic Duty" needs to be brought up in our conversations on the left more often. Like, you do have a responsibility and a duty of care for the world around you. You have a duty to make it a better place, not one you should "get in trouble" for failing, but one you should at the very least strive to uphold.

they sell items at tjmaxx that even God is not aware of

call me crazy but I think it'd be easier if surgeons learned how to operate on fat bodies instead of expecting every single fat person to lose weight before getting surgery

sopranos episode 1