sekhmet, the lion-headed goddess of war

i don’t want to be angry anymore i’m never going to hate again unless someone says something really stupid or if i see something i don’t like at all or maybe just whenever i feel like it

it's meee I'm your guardian angel hiiiiii 😇 okay🙏 so. in about six months, you're gonna die of starvation. 🥺 and if I don't protect you, I will get: #fired! 🫢 and that is No Good 🙅‍♀️ hahaaa So. 🙏 I looked into causes of starvation, and it turns out: Your death is totally preventable! 😯 Uh oh! 😆 There's more than enough food to sustain you without interfering with anyone else's survival, but you're not allowed to have it! 🤨 Whaaat? 🤷‍♀️ Apparently, your death is premeditated by thousands of things called "shareholders." So. 🙏 I've been killing people,

you are just like computer file i delete you

“ooohhhh this teenage girl character is so annoyinggg because she didn’t react to extreme stress in a way that was reasonable or what i consider to be normal oooooooohh” well i’m launching the missile

no no no put me back in the loop I almost did it perfect please put me back just a few more tries and I think I could really nail it please put me back

pro tip you can just grab a bunch of random parts from dumpsters and hardware stores and computer stores and just attach them together haphazardly and then put it in your suitcase and take it to the airport and get arrested pretty much 100% of the time

going over to my minimalist girlfriend’s house and she apologizes profusely for the mess and there’s just a single perfect, fresh pea on the floor of her living room

Blue Lois

can i help you

Red Marge

jesus christ. I Am Under Fucking Attack

World Heritage Post

i deserve a medal for this post. not because i was particularly funny but because i survived an onslaught of nearly one hundred gimmick blogs in the wake of this post popping off, and the fact that i didn’t try to track any of them down and snuff them out with my bare hands is a testament to my immeasurable strength and should be rewarded. at one point i had “the official letter h” add on to this post. you wanna know that blog’s gimmick? the really funny and original and worthwhile gimmick the official letter h blog had? yep you guessed it they just gave me the god damned letter H and then fucked off. only jesus knows the suffering i endured over that harsh winter, and he wept for me

the secret is that saying “hopecore” or “hopepunk” will make people mad at you online but saying “stories about people overcoming corrupt and adversarial systems” is just Normal

this is part of an interesting phenomenon i've noticed where the shorthands people come up with for things wind up being far more annoying than the thing they're actually describing. like if i see a game calling itself a "cozy game" i'm rolling my eyes like good lord we need to put this cozy game shit on the shelf already. but if the same game instead calls itself a "farming sim" i'm just like yup, that's what that is. and then i move on because it's not really my cup of tea. i don't know what to make of this

i have [gestures vaguely] my tendencies

we desperately need sex 2

i just know someone's going to mention kink. girl that's still sex 1. we had to invent BDSM cause we didn't have sex 2. tis but a pale reflection. but it's coming

kink reaches mayyybe like sex 1.3 if it hits just right

when sex 2 comes out what sorts of quality of life updates will be included to help draw in people who never really got into sex 1

more pleasurable. more intellectually stimulating. higher skill ceiling. more dynamic metagame. optionally more mental-emotional alignment between parties. less cleanup. more intuitive. more variety in sensation and activity to match diverse sensory tendencies. smoother integration with parties' coupled emotional processing. and so on

Fishing minigame.

Fishing minigame

Ancient Mesopotamian steampunk guy wearing a hat with a bunch of levers and inclined planes stuck to it.

why dont you make like a tree and feel the breeze and the sun and the changing of the seasons. and Grow

btw with email u dont have to lick the envelope. i know a lot of people have been doing that and its fine and all but you dont acrtually have to do that with email.

has anyone noticed that sometimes you take incorrect or undesirable actions instead of the correct and desirable ones? what's up with that