00k4y

to my fellow followers i’ve been mia but i’m back and still feeling like shit daily!!! life’s been a rocky journey lately and stay tuned for the updates posts xo

i feel like i’ve been crying for help for such a long time and noones answered. i’ve been screaming yelling kicking and not one person has noticed that i’m not okay. i’ve even told people that i’m not okay and i’m being looked at differently bcos it’s just another one of ‘my phases’ to them. i’ll eventually get over it and be ‘okay’ again.

i have so much anger and rage i can’t seem to find the words to express myself and this is dangerous.

i can feel myself slipping back into my depression and this time i don’t know if i’ll be able to get myself out

my mind has been so jumbled up lately and i can’t seem to find a way to put it into words. it’s so frustrating

i haven’t had one in awhile but today i had a panic attack and i don’t even know what triggered it. i was fine one minute and the next i was hyperventilating and crying. i kept going over what happened minutes before the attack to try and figure out what triggered it but honestly i don’t know. i thought i overcame these attacks so i stopped practicing ways to cope with it- i wasn’t prepared today. i wasn’t mentally ready for the attack and the aftermath of it. these things happen. they happen often. to plenty of people. please check up on your friends and family, even if you think they’re okay.

my social anxiety fucks me over all the damn time and tbh it’s overwhelming i’m over it

anyone else in the mood to just stay in bed and cuddle all week? because same

that awkward moment when you have to explain to your mom that your ex boyfriend isn’t your current boyfriend anymore, just your best friend

i feel like the reason why i’m so annoying when it comes to true friends and stuff is bcos i never had solid ass people in my corner. whether it was friends or family, no one was ever in my corner growing up. i was always on my own- i had my cousins sure, but once i moved away from them i lost all contact with them for years. i moved around often so i never had friendships that last. i feel like i stress so much on them now bcos i’ve had friendships now for 7+ yrs but i still feel so unappreciated. i always give 110% of myself to friends meanwhile i get 75% back. i would drive to the end of the world for them but they would expect me to meet them half way. i get that we all have our own lives and things happen, but how are you able to make plans daily with your “non close friends” but yet i have to pick and choose one day specifically? y’all my overall point is that my entire like i’ve been fighting for people to want me as much as i want them and i’m over it

a sad girl summer

lmao i get so annoyed when people i don’t talk to anymore send me photos of us together from 1+ years ago. i get it, its memories and it’s nolgastic but i really don’t care if we went to the movies together back in 2012 to watch a horror movie :)

mentally not ok right now

i drove all the way down to windsor to hang out with my family for the week and tbh i feel like i wasted my time. they all knew i was coming down prior to this abt two weeks ago but yet they all still made hella plans with their friends/significant other. i don’t expect them to stop everything theyre doing or plan their life around me, but it would be nice if they even considered spending a little time with me. anytime they come down to toronto they expect me to put my life on pause and take them around the city. i’m salty asf right now. hella salty