You deserve to have a love that’s wild, adventurous, and fun.

You deserve to have someone that is a positive influence in your life; that brings you peace of mind and ease of life.

You deserve to have someone that learns your love language and uses it to communicate so effortlessly with you.

You deserve to have someone that chases you out of the dark; the person that can sing lullabies to your meanest demons with no fear or hesitation.

You deserve the person who will speak so lovingly of you to others when you’re not around; the person who realizes how they fall in love all over again at the mere thought of you, forever humbled at the reality that they get to share in life with you.

You deserve every ounce of emotion from A-Z with a heavy emphasis on passion, commitment, kindness, peace and loyalty.

You deserve that...

Fortunately, in a mind riddled with anxiety; I remind myself that I live in a free-will environment. I’m grateful that I’m able to learn through the consequences of my actions; and for that matter, the consequences of the actions of others so I don’t make those same mistakes.

I think about all of the challenging situations I’ve dealt with in my life, and know that I’ll always come out wiser as a result of the experience. I’m free to learn in any way that I want to; and with that, it means I’m free to choose happy experiences and outcomes.

Sometimes my anxiety cripples my brain; it’s me in my head against myself and there’s no greater opponent. I have to strongly wake up each day and make up my mind that on this day my life lessons will be positive and life affirming; there’s no easy way, there’s no magic filter for real life. It just is. Sorry to tell you, that it’s not easy, even if you believe I make it look that way.

I woke up today with a swarm of messages and calls from friends and family wishing me a happy birthday and acknowledging some difference I made in their life. I cried a good cry this morning. I'm so humbled that I somehow make effortless changes in the lives of others and while I don't often notice, if ever, my presence means a great deal to them. I'm so touched. Truly.

I love everyone humbly and deeply! I thought morbidly for a second, I can die today and be happy with the differences I've made in someone else’s life, the choices I've made in my own, and the woman I am and continue to be.

cheers to the things we allow others to see on the internet.

I took this picture most recently. I like it, but what you don’t see is the amount of hurt behind it. This picture doesn’t show you the sum of my 2020. This picture doesn’t tell you it took me 4 hours to get ready because I just...I just couldn’t get ready fast enough...my mind wouldn’t allow me. This picture won’t tell you that just the night prior, I was in complete disarray - a panicked mess on the kitchen floor; crying, dry heaving, feeling like I was ready to vomit my heart out...literally.

This picture wont tell you that on January 19, 2020 my younger brother passed away suddenly; unexpectedly.  This picture wont tell you that while dealing with the grief of losing my brother, I was working in the middle of a pandemic...for a toxic company that chose profit over patient and staff safety.

This picture won’t tell you that I cried myself every morning before going in to work with COVID patients; understaffed and underappreciated with meaningless words from a company that said kind things, but their actions were anything from it - slaving away my life to a multi-million dollar company that just didn’t care that I worked 12+ hours with no break.

This picture won’t tell you that my favorite aunt passed away in April. This picture won’t tell you that my father was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer in July and that the cancer has spread to his liver as of August.

This picture won’t tell you any of these things, but I will tell you.. I like this picture. I like this picture because it tells me that I am still fighting.. that despite everything life has thrown my way this year, I fight harder than my mind. This picture tells me I finally put on makeup and did my hair and got myself together despite wanting to lay in bed in pajamas all day.

I made a quick stop at Witch Baby for some essentials and happened to pick up some of the new Halloween collection before it hits the online shop. Can I just say... I am obsessed with the way everything smells!

I absolutely adore Witch Baby and I am so happy that they have finally opened up a storefront. For me, there’s just something more magical about shopping for bath products in stores..where I can just smell and connect with everything.

It’s officially September aka the start of Halloween season for the muggles lol. Here’s a picture of my costume from last year. I was a wicked woodland witch.

Anywho, I’ve had Halloween on the brain for a while now. I mean, it’s always on my mind but with it officially approaching closer now, I’ve been contemplating on the costume for this year.