Ziggy Gamma

This session felt really good at first. But ended with me heartbroken. But I'm gonna keep going so that I can talk to her again. I thought I was doing so well but they said that I'm not ready to speak to her again yet. I need to have more confidence in myself and have more social skills.

I scheduled my next appointment. I’m gonna keep going back weekly for the rest of the year at least to try and make progress so that I can understand how I’m suppose to feel that’s socially acceptable.

It’s truly my day because I’m the fool that thought I had a shot with the most amazing woman I’ve ever met. And I’ll remain the fool for thinking if I become better than she’ll give me a chance.

This is something I get everytime I complain about being single my entire life. I know its meant as a comfort but if thats all I want out of life then its not really a comfort at all. Like every other aspect of life is good for me except that. I have a job, a place, a car, free time, my health. But the one thing I don't have is a girlfriend. Being alone wasn't in my plans for life I always thought I'd be married or in a relationships by now and I hate it. I hate being alone. Going to bed every night with no one around me. Having no one but this blog to tell my days about. No one to lean on and no one to lean on me. No physical touch from others and I'm not talking sex and kissing, no hand holding no comfort at all. I honestly want to die and have thought about it so much every day for years now. But I kept it off because I thought maybe one day I'll find my person out there. But as each day passes I don't think I will. And the weight of that crushes me to my soul.

Not even my own parents wanted me why would someone else would