Zick_Nette

"It's coming soon."

The way she worded made it seem very ominous that it made Simon peek over his shoulder to see Grace's reaction and—damn, it was worth moving from his comfortable spot as Grace look at the woman with a concern but horrific look, his mouth gapped before shaking his head to get his words together.

"Excuse me, what?" His voice almost gave out at the end.

———

He laughed back, "We're a happy odd group."

Simon scoff, laying his head on top of Tessa's shoulder, "I think we crossed the line on odd, Grace. You fucked a God and a Martian."

"SIMON!"

———

"Oh you fucking cunt." Tessa growls.

Simon narrowed his eyes, "Don't come at me."

"Imma come at you, you jerk of a cock. You told him!"

———

(My favorite and a little spoiler)

Tessa weighted her thoughts for a while.

"I broke in her office with her own face and curse her with eternal fear for the rest of her life when she sleeps..." Grace pinches the bridge of his nose. "Annnd bitch slap her across the room and jump out of her window. She might know I'm not human."

"You don't think after seeing you shapeshift into her?!" Grace retorted.

"I don't know. I was more focus on not killing her."

———

(A small non-canon cameo)

Tessa shift her hips, her pose made her look more intimidating and alluring.

"A naked man fears no pickpocket." She stated, eyes casting down at Esmeralda as to rile her up to speak.

Grace watched them, looking back and forward as he can feel the air getting more tense. The poise man standing next to him cross his arms, watching as well but he seem to be in thought, a hint of curiosity in his gaze.

"Esmeralda is already a handful to deal with, no less married to." Shen Jiu reminded the woman, "So can you handle her now? She must be a bit different now verse back then."

Tessa was about to wave off his words when—

"Imma fuck you with the wide end of a rusty spoon." Esmeralda hissed, a grin creeping up her lips.

Simon choked before cackling, turning around to hide his face but he almost trip as his legs struggle to hold up.

Surprisingly, Tessa grins back mockingly.

"Well, aren't you just a little ray of pitch black, you little shit."

Grace chuckles, "Don't forget," He reminds his brother-in-law, "They both have issues. It's in the family gene pool. If there anyone who can understand her, it's Tessa."

"We fuck mentally unstable gods...we must have a type." Shen Jiu huffed.

It didn't, but my whole writing on my little universe with my OC, Esmeralda changed and now she had a little more backstory and more specific, her first and biological family's backstory.

Again, I was scrolling on the edits on Iron Lung when I come across a video that change my whole view, I don't remember who made it or what it was about but I remember seeing Simon and an attractive man in it...a certain blond teacher.

........Yeahhhh, this is how I found fucking BloodyMary/Bloodstar. And now, I'm obsessed with it. I remembered reading fanfic on AO3 when there was only 73 pages of the ship....now there's 178 as I'm writing this.

And guess what? I had a daydream about them...and a new OC...fuck my life. (/_;)

I hate you guys, I HATE THIS, FUCK YOU FOR MAKING BLOODYMARY/BLOODSTAR A THING AND NOW I FELL IN THE TRAP OF ETERNAL IMAGINATION!!!!!!!

Soooo anyways, I want to introduce you to a character that have been fucking me in the head the pass weeks. I cooked up lore and angst, plot still working on.. Don't worry, happy ending here, cause I'm a bit of a little bitch to hurt any of my characters for a full on bad endings, my poor boys deserve love and care. Sadly, I don't have art of her yet.

Meet my new OC, can't reveal her full name cause it may be related to...something but her name is shorted to Tessa. She's a god.

Like, her language is so complicated for us to fully comprehend it, like it's mixed and backwards (still working on some words to translate it) so when she introduced herself as a God–it's spelled as Gad but sound like God–it means 'To protect, protector'. She is the Protector of the Universe, a Universe that her clan rule over, the PHM universe.

To explain it, (if you seen Men In Black, you would get this reference) our universe are like marbles. Delicate, small, anything can grab them and crushed it with a small force. One day, these strange Beings found them like how we found ores. Bored but curious creatures explored their empty world, and when they dig around, found these little unique marbles. They were intelligent enough to study them and all collectively decided to use their powers (and basically free will cause they are really that bored) to protect these universes. They had no purpose, they don't know who made these universes, but their instinct tells them to protect every universes with all their life. And that's how are Gads and their "system" are created. There are many different species of them, different clans that are assigned with a universe–some weaker, some powerful. But the ones we will be follow are one of the oldest species, Fantasmas (Meaning ghosts of the stars in their language. Funny story, I was trying to translate the word ghoststar in greek and that word pop up. When I check again, it actually translate to Ghost instead but I decided to keep it to keep their messy language.)

Their design were fun to play with, Fantasmas are powerful eldritch horror beings but after so many times their children (was inspired to call them Moths like the game, Sky: Children of the Light) accidentally broke many lifeforms' minds from just looking at them (Think of The King in Yellow, when we look at them, they are so huge and eerie that our minds break and died from stress.), they learned to shapeshift to either look like you or a tamer form of themselves.

The tame form makes them look like space mermaids, funny enough. They are see-through, looking like a figure made up of star clouds. Their hair is bright, like seeing the comic galaxy in it. They looked almost humanoid, with these wing cape on them and it attached onto their lower half body which is a tail.

(This is the best art I can find that comes close to what I imagine them to be. They have no nose or mouth but they have six eyes that glow white but in their true form, it's black.)

(This is what their "wings" look like. They grow with the beings as they age so they can get pretty big. When they are Moths, their little wings looks similar to Skykid's capes. It's attached to their arms, hands, and sides so they flap around when they move their limbs. They use them to fly slower or hover. The color ranges as well but they're see-through.)

(How I imagine their lower half looks like. You can see legs but it's bind together when they have their tails out. They only separated when they plant their feet on solid ground, usually when visiting their planets. The tip of the tail will slim down, almost like a whip, which is how they fight with. Very painful if they use it for bad stuff....anyways, when they use their tail mostly for speed. They can use both wings and tail but only experienced Fantasmas can balance them at the same time.)

I imagine their True Form are really eerie, darker but they got so many eyes on their body and a giant opening in the middle of their body, like a blackhole mouth with tentacles and teethes. Ellie from the Iron Lung is horrifying and ugly but Fantasmas are something like a fuck up version of angels. Luckily, they don't use this form often.

I have so much ideas how this can go, I'm no big nerd on science but I'm willing to learn if I got some things wrong or it don't make sense. I'm so up and down if I should reveal more or lay down some things out since it will be a while when I make a book about this. Just know, Tessa jumped in my mind everytime I read a BloodyMary Fic, I'll always be reminded about the giant universe I accidentally made.

Ask me if you have questions or some headcanons, I don't mind!

The Story

Meet Esmeralda Mora.

She was an 18 years old Puerto Rican female with Autism. But she also had PID (Congenital insensitivity to pain). Because of this, she lived a very careful life with her family but not too overbearing as they just want her to live normal.

Sadly, they died from a shoot out when they went to a family outing at a music festival. (A bit inspired by the 2017 Las Vegas shooting, rip everyone there 🙏, but note...my niece want the damn outing be a Hatsune Miku concert...and I'm actually thinking of making that canon...so take that as you will)

There were survivors, but unfortunately, Esmeralda is the last living member of her family. In just a week, she is struggling to grieve as the government want to move Esmeralda into a homing for mental disabled adults while trying to take her family home at the same time. This girl is struggling, and sadly, a burglar decided to break into her home while she's home. While fighting him off, he stabbed her in the stomach.

She died in the most memorable way ever, bled to death in her house....not before stabbing the shit out of her burglar back until he died.

When she woke up, she's on the ground in a alleyway and with adrenaline building up again in her, she reacted bad when someone lean towards her from above....and this is how she meets Shen Jiu and Yue Qi...by punching Yue Qi in the face and tackled Shen Jiu, almost choking him but she let go quickly when she realized that they were kids and that she seem to be as small as them.

She is in the body of a street kid named Ba (which Yue Qi called her when trying to get her off of Shen Jiu) who just pass away from a high fever before she took over the body. Esmeralda is trying hard to not freak out too much as she can feel pain now, she can feel the body is still sick and that it's still trying to kill her again.

So yea, an meet-ugly between them all, Shen Jiu is now very piss off with her, Yue Qi is cautious but seeing the girl who use to feed them her own food as she knew she won't make it so she share her kindness until the end, watch her faint on the ground, and now she's suddenly up and punching anything that comes near her, he knew something is off.

Esmeralda would try to figure out is going on, quickly learning that she transmigrated, back in time somewhere in Asia. She is somewhat lucky that her ex-sister-in-law was Chinese so she can understand most of what everyone is saying but she can speak only somewhat, broken and strange but understandable enough.

The story would follow her journey, how she try to make up to the boys but at the same time, closing off her feelings which will be a horrible idea.

Imagine this, She just died, a week after her entire family gone, watched their death and after going through a whole week of depression and grief, debating if she should kill herself, finally dies but only to end up in a new world she don't know and no one she knows. She has no way back home, no one to even go back to. She's at the end of her rope, she gives up and changes. She doesn't hide that she's not Ba, that she is very foreign about their culture and talk improper. She.is.done.

She would still have that scene where she take shelter from the rain and share the space with the boys but she acts weird to them, like how she refuses to go by as Ba or as they said "A-Ba" as she thinks it's weird to call her a dead person's name, or that she acts more mature than them but still acts kiddish. Shen Jiu would feel strange when this strange Jie-jie would just straight up go feral when a bunch of noble teenagers try to attack him, only for this tiny child to jump on them and sucker punch them all, even bit one in the ear. She look like she's in pain but she ignores it until they all ran away. Shen Jiu wouldn't trust her but after a few days of her protecting them, pushing her body to the limit, he see some benefit in using her. But why does she have to almost kill herself when she is still sick!

So they would have a small arc on taking care of her, with Esmeralda just nonchalantly saying that she is just getting use to the body and just happy to feel pain as she can finally tell she's hungry. This girl is very strange, Shen Jiu would think.

When Shen Jiu mentioned that when she gets better, she can make up about her attack on them by helping them with their slave chores, Esmeralda refuses to be a child slave and decide to take these boys away from that. She even declared that they will be free and away from their masters. And she did just that by dragging them to the woods after stealing some herds to help her get better (her mother use to make homemade medicine as she use to be a nurse) and Shen Jiu stealing a book about creatures and monsters they might encounter out there.

With her knowledge of camping and watching survival shows with her mother, her and the boys would actually live out in the woods for years. She even knows how to cook—HEY, she can feel burns now!

Of course there will be strange thing about this girl, monsters are almost never near them when she's around or that she heals fast. She is very sneaky that she have successfully gotten cultivation books for the boys to study. She is never caught, almost blending in with the shadows. And when she grows up, her qi is very large, unnaturally. All of these will be revealed why later in the end, and it maybe be related to why she was so strange when she was back in her old body. Like how she also heal unnaturally fast as people with CIP heal pretty slow than normal. Or how when she fall off from trees, she rarely break bones as she somehow...slows her falls.

She will go through a phase about not feeling right in Ba's body. She was a dark skinned and a bit fat, standing at 5"4 (162 cm) so being skinny, light tanned, and grew 2 inches (167 cm), she feels very out of place with her body most of the time. When she tie her chest down with bandages once, she have an idea and rolled with it, changing her gender like chosing a video game character, to differentiate her or at this case, himself from his own body. When he came out to the boys, Yue Qi was non different, didn't care, but Shen Jiu won't like it at first until my OC reassure him about being different from the other men that he met.

I had to choose something perfect for this character, and then the inspiration from my dream hit me. So I had chosen this, base off his old identity, Esmeralda Mora is now Heimei Zumulu (Blackberry Emerald).

Heimei Zumulu's story will be chaotic, as he lose all of his calm and timid nature (I will post one day about his actually personality vs Esmeralda's, but just know, he really went from happy to depressed to Idgaf to fuck everyone but Shen Jiu) after his family's death. Now, he's bold, easygoing, but most of all...an figher. Like no, literally loves the feeling of fighting and ask questions later. He is also (my favorite part) an pyromania. It doesn't help that after Shen Jiu help him with forming a golden core, Heimei Zumulu like to burn monster like crazy. He calms a bit when cooking but still like to go all out when fighting.

That is also the craziest thing, his powers.

First, Heimei Zumulu's Qi. It's abnormally large, so large that he would use his full power for hours and still have more if he don't push his Qi too fast. It helps Shen Jiu at times when he need to heal as Heimei Zumulu would be his personal Qi transfer.

Second, his element or actually, his elements. Shen Jiu can transfer his Qi into leave and use them as throwing knifes, right? Well, this crazy son of a bitch can control the elements (there is a literal reason for this...how I really want to spoil it but all I can say is that back in his world, he was more than a human and the power stayed with him. So this is something he always had in him, just very late to unlocking them.) And not just the regular Chinese elements, but more. The only drawback is that when Heimei Zumulu uses his elements too quickly, his Qi will shutdown. His body is like a car, overheat it and it will explode. He gets warnings, like nosebleeds and light-headed. When he's really close to exploding, his body will try to stop him and cut his Qi off, making him faint.

Third, he has shapeshifting abilities...though, it's more like mimicking. He can change his form into someone he seen, taking their appearances and voices. With animals, he has to understand how they work, how they move. He can't make a new appearances or combine two or more into one....(not at first, no spoilers)

And forth, his sword. This was one of the biggest changes into the plot of PIDW. Since Heimei Zumulu would save the boys from slavery and made them go up the Cang Qiong Mountain, Yue Qi wouldn't force himself to bind his soul to his sword. If anything, not even getting his spirit sword at all (still working on how Yue Qi actually not get his golden core. Can he get a spiritual sword without a core? Does anyone know, please tell me? Thank you!). So when Shen Jiu brought Heimei Zumulu to get his sword from the wall, guess what?

Heimei Zumulu is Xuan Su's true holder.

You can't stop me!

Anyways, here are some things I headcanon for now. Some may change depending what pops up in my mind or I don't like. Also, there will be some spoilers into the story here, some backstory from Esmeralda's side. Be warn.

Yue Qi is 3 years older than Shen Jiu but only 2 from Heimei Zumulu. Meaning, Heimei Zumulu is a year older than Shen Jiu.

Shen Jiu was 16 when he join the Cang Qiong Sect but with Heimei Zumulu changing the timeline, he join at 14. (When Heimei Zumulu drag that boy up there.)

Shen Jiu like to call Heimei Zumulu, "Shimei" as he turn into the color of a raspberry when flustered. (It would actually get Heimei Zumulu more flustered because Shen Jiu would say it with a teasing tone, which Heimei Zumu finds it very arousing.)

Shen Jiu and Heimei Zumulu are like Yin and Yang. They both balance each, mostly together when they can. After Shen Jiu came to live with Heimei Zumulu, they were never alone. They even dress similar. Shen Jiu wore dark green and black robes with gold lining while Heimei Zumulu wore green and white robes with silver lining.

Heimei Zumulu's favorite element is fire (duh) but his favorite move or in this case, combined element is making fire tornados.

Shen Jiu and Heimei Zumulu always sleep together since living in the woods, with one would be sleeping and the other keeping guard. They would sleep against each other's backs to kept hidden. Plus, Heimei Zumulu has trouble sleeping on flat grounds, needing to sleep upwards.

Heimei Zumulu hated when Shen Jiu called him "A-Ba", thinking the "A" was stupid but when they got closer, (maybe around when Shen Jiu took him to get his sword, not sure) he started to call Shen Jiu, "A-Jiu". Still hated to be call with that "A-" so Shen Jiu would get creative with call out this little shit.

Heimei Zumulu would cuss out people. A bit of a bitch to anyone, even Shen Jiu but that aggression is him not knowing how to make friends. He was antisocial in his old life so him and Shen Jiu just roll with this, they love pulling insults at each other. Heimei Zumulu loves calling him a rat bastard~♡

While Shen Jiu is not a peak lord, he's still the very best at being the logistic in missions. Heimei Zumulu can be smart but he just fucks around. His strength is more in fighting as Esmeralda use to get into gang fight to protect her older brother, who was messing with gang members.

Ba stole a gemstone before dying so Esmeralda woke up with a emerald gem in her hands. When Heimei Zumulu and Shen Jiu were courting, Shen Jiu had the gem be part of a choker necklace for him. Heimei Zumulu never took it off and only let Shen Jiu take it off. (Sappy fuckers they can be.)

Heimei Zumulu's name was given when Esmeralda asked her sister-in-law what her name would be in Chinese. So she took it.

*SPOILER*

When Heimei Zumulu was back to his old body, he felt strange about going back to female pronouns after many years but soon roll with it. In Esmeralda's body, she is a female, in Heimei Zumulu's, he is a male.

So this is what I have, again, there is more but either I need to make a whole post about it or they have spoilers. I don't mind if anyone asks questions or put in some headcanons of your own. If it's something that I really like, I may make it canon. Know it is connected to a series I made that I mentioned in part 1, so some things may be connected....like how Esmeralda get adopted by Hualian, so she's the 9th child they took in *Evil Laughter*

But please do ask questions, I don't mind one bit! I would love to hear your thoughts! I like to talk about these characters, I want to fleah them out more, and learn more about Shen Jiu's characteristics. I wanted him to be not as hissy as he hasn't been through all that traumatic things with Heimei Zumulu changing the timeline, but he is still himself in a way, he was a street child after all...both of them were. Anyways, here's art of them! (I'm still making the digital version so that would take a while)

(Left to Right) Heimei Zumulu, Shen Jiu, Esmeralda Mora

PT1: The Journey

PT2: The Dream

The Dream

The dream was everywhere, luckily, I can grasp small clips of some scenes but I remremember the important ones like it was yesterday.

It first started when I was awaken in a body that didn't belong to me. I remember that I was small, a child but I was so skinny, boney that I couldn't tell the age. It was cold, grey, like it recently rained, there where still dark clouds above me. I remembered I was on the ground, curled up like I was trying to cover my body from something.

Then, I noticed them, noticed him. Two boys, covered in dirt and grime. Like they haven't showered in years. Hair were tangled and dirty, he had his hair loose, it reached his shoulder, almost close to his back. The other boy was fuzzy, like I couldn't see him properly but I remember he was tall. Taller than both of us.

He had this gentle smile but I didn't trust it at first. I was scared at first (cause I was like, oh shit, I'm like Shen Yuan, I've transmigrated to somewhere. I died, my family and bbf are not here) but he, Shen Jiu call out for me. It wasn't my name but I understand that he call me by a number, 8. (Know this, I don't know jack about Chinese, so somehow understanding it was a little weird. I actually looked up what 8 is in Chinese, bā)

Apparently, I was in a body of little girl, a sickly street rat. I was weak, like I had a really bad cold but I can still move around if I needed to. The boys were somewhat wary of me but when it rained, I shared my living space to keep them dry. There was even a time that a bunch of teenagers were trying to target Shen Jiu but I protected him. I don't remember how but I remember feeling a small piece of a branch and threatened that I'll color the walls with their blood, I guess I looked crazy enough that it actually scared them.

After that, the boys try to care of me. Shen Jiu sometimes watch over me but he mostly goes out to get food. The other boy, I soon learned he goes by as Yue Qi, was the one to watch over me but he sometimes sneak off when I'm asleep. I could tell he was friendly, but I felt something off. Like it was fine at first but for everyday that Shen Jiu spend time with me, Yue Qi seem to be a bit upset that he don't spend time with "Xiao-jiu". (Now that I remember, I don't think they ever hang out after meeting me, like I took up their time.)

I think I caught up pretty quick that Yue Qi was jealous that Shen Jiu spends the rest of his time with me, I know I was suddenly thrown into their care, but I remember that I felt like a burden to them. That I'm soon going to be left behind as it was a waste of time on taking care of weak street child. There was a chance that I was going to died.

So, I sudden felt an urge to not go down, I just remembered me getting up and announce that the streets are for weak little bitches and I was going to live in the woods, and that those boys will come with me, no matter what. Apparently I somehow got them away from slavery by doing this.

Then it switch scenes, it was small, fast. Just me making fire, cooking food. I think I hunted the food? Apparently, Shen Jiu stole a book that had information about beasts and creatures that helped us avoided or safe enough to hunt them.

I remembered Shen Jiu asked how I know how to hunt and make a small base, and I just...nonchalantly said, "Tv shows. Wild Alaskan challenges and 'Naked and Afraid'." (Yes, everyone clap for my mom for the fact that me walking into her watching those survival wilderness shows, came with me in a dream to survive in a fictional woods. Thanks mom!)

I think they were very confused but went with it, like they knew I was already crazy. I just remembered having my tongue loose on my past life so I never held back, proud saying things that never existed but somehow, have experiences and knowledge about it.

The next scene show me that we are a bit older, Yue Qi left to go up the peak but apparently I'm still weak from that sickness (though it's not contagious that it never affected the boys?) that I didn't joined the boys to go to Cang Qiong Mountain but surprisingly...Shen Jiu stayed with me, I even told him to leave me behind, that he could get good enough to be an important figure, meaning he can get rich. But no...he refuses every time. I guess this was the time that I started to feel something...more than caring about him.

I guess Yue Qi didn't like this so he send someone (I think it was Mu Qingfang?) down to check on my health, which successfully got me better. Here, the dream got really fuzzy but I remember some glimpses of Shen Jiu staying with me for a couple of years (I dont remember our age but I remember he was a teen at this time.) before I had enough and actually grab him, drag him up the step, and force him to join the peak.

I still didn't join, I think my cultivation was weak or something (Or maybe I was very contented on living away from the perk, like I sense it would be trouble for me or something. Or that I was accepting that Yue Qi won in this situation, that I was unwanted. So I stayed behind so Yue Qi and Shen Jiu can go off together again. I'm not sure?) but I remember feeling sad that the boys, mostly Shen Jiu might not come back. Like I was saying goodbye to him but then suddenly, he turns to me and said, "I'll come down to check on you, see if you didn't kill yourself by accident." Which I was like wtf, you little rat bastard! But...it somehow made me happy that he won't forget me.

This next scene was weird, flashes of me working around a nearby town, trying to make some money so I can get clothes and food. I save up a bit for a journal that I wrote, in English, my thoughts when I get strange feelings I can't describe, so I wrote them down to document it. Plus, it kept me sane in this strange world (I knew the story, I know about PIDW but in the dream, it was blurring, like I knew the boys' names, knew enough that they had to be on the perk mountain to follow their faith, but again, I wasn't really in control. I'm used to being in the passenger seat during dreams like this). I remembered taking heavy lifting jobs at the Warm Red Pavilion, which I mostly seen Shen Jiu there, even if he's not really traumatized enough to be afraid of men that he sleep there, he still goes there for information and seeing me there at the same time. We mostly hang out when we have time. Again, it was flashes but I remember seeing Shen Jiu's small smiles when he was with me, watching me complain about how everyone see this small girl (I remember being small, I think from my malnourished years?) Is very strong but they like to test my strength limit multiple times, tiring me out. At the time, I was having strange feelings about me being referred as a girl which end up taking me through this weird gender identity crisis.

This scene was wild, me confessing that I wanted to be referred as a boy, to fucking Shen Jiu. He was so confused, as I said that because I didn't like my body in this life, that it wasn't me so I decided to change gender to break away from this feeling. (Apparently, being in a Latina body to a Chinese body really fucked me in the head so instead of embracing it, I said fuck no and gave me a separated identity, like making a avatar or something? I have no clue what dream me was smoking.)

Shen Jiu just looked at me strangely before said, "Don't be like those gross men from the brothel."

Which I replied, "I grew up as a tomboy, I know how to act like a man, a proper one."

Because of this info, I told him more about my past life. He actually believed me and understood my decisions, respecting it. After some thought, I decided to change my name, going by the Chinese name of my English name. (Not revealing my real name but I did found out that my name do have a Chinese name, featured in mdzs, surprisingly ( ￣▽￣))

Alright, this scene was game changing. It started normal, Shen Jiu visited me almost every week, splitting between his studies and getting free time to come down the mountain.

Yue Qi never really visit me, very rarely he comes down and mostly it's because he's with Shen Jiu but apparently he was super busy with his cultivation, as he was having trouble somehow? Shen Jiu have been telling me the news, like my personal newspaper, but it seem Yue was have difficulty with becoming an immortal so his shizun is hesitant to have him as his head disciple. Shen Jiu was a little worried, in his own way, said that that guy was pushing himself hard to please his shizun, especially since he might be chosen for Sect Leader.

I mentioned that if Shen Jiu was considered to be head disciple as he's been working really hard but I was surprised to hear Shen Jiu had been asked but he turn it down. Saying he just want to graduate and be a rouge cultivator. I even asked if he going to jump places to places or stay in one area, which he only responds by looking at me then said, "This one will be living with you. I don't trust you going around and getting yourself taken by a slave owner or worst, getting killed by a demon cultivator. This one plans to teach you to be an immortal."

...and this started the road of me being an immortal and actually succeeding it faster better than Yue Qi....yeah, I have no idea.

Just that Shen Jiu taught me to fight and use my Qi, which turn out that I'm pretty OP with. So much so, Shen Jiu asked his Shizun if I can get my sword at Wan Jian Peak as he said, "He deserves the best, one that suits his strength better than any low blacksmith down the mountain."

So that happened, also, Yue Qi was quite upset that Shen Jiu was leaving but at the end, had to accept it as it is.

Now this, was very....oof. The scene literally shows Yue Qi having to remove himself off the perk as he cannot form a gold core (I think? I read the glossary on my HOB book and there's seven stages to cultivation, correct me if not, I'm a bit dumb so please simplified it for me (;_;)) and settle in the town, getting a wife...who kind of look like Shen Jiu...and had children with her. It was a doozy every time we visited them because apparently his wife is mad at us? I couldn't tell if it was one of us or both as she complained that her husband doesn't actually love her as he not in love with her (which I have no idea if they were arranged or not, just that suddenly he had a family in a few years after he was kicked off the mountain.) and that he was not the best dad as he's not really there for his kids.

I remembered being angry at this, like I help raise him to be better than this and at the same time, overwhelmed from the wife getting in my face. Like she really thinks that everytime we visit, Yue Qi seem to be more happy with us than with his own family. I knew not with me cause he still trying to hang out with Shen Jiu...alone, which forced me to be alone with his wife in their home. It didn't help that his oldest son was letting his anger on me about how he bet his dad would love him more if his mother was Shen Jiu, which I remember being sick to my stomach.

So after years of dealing with this, I started to stay at home (Oh, forgot to mention, Shen Jiu and I got our house built in the middle of the woods, it surprisingly look like a suburban home?) and let Shen Jiu go on his own. I think after a couple of times I stayed back, he sat me down in our dining table and asked what was going on.

I remembered feeling insecure, saying that Yue Qi didn't want me around so I was letting them be together as I would burden them, and I just couldn't deal with being around the family as they seem to verbally attack me. I guess I didn't want to make any confrontation between them but I was emotionally drained with trying to stay calm and happy that I outed my thoughts to him. I mentioned that he can do what he wants and no matter what, I'll support him, like I've always had. I guess I was preparing to have Shen Jiu fall in love with Yue Qi and leave me behind to go with him, again, feeling down about it.

Shen Jiu, surprisingly, didn't do anything, not leaving nor saying anything for a while. He seem to be collecting his thoughts before announce, "Then I won't go. If they don't treat you with respect, especially Qi-ge not doing anything about this, I won't go until you're welcomed."

I think I cried for the first time in front of him. I remembered feeling relieved, like Shen Jiu see me, and not downplay how I felt about the situation. We talked some more, about we agreed that Yue Qi is obsessed with him and that I told him about what the son said, which made Shen Jiu look confused but then disgusted.

Then...something changed in him, not noticeable at first but, now I think back on it, how when he look disgusted, he suddenly grabbed my hand, like he was comforting himself?

This was the part that I suddenly feel everything during dreams, how his hand was larger than mine, slender but warm. Very warm. I remembered my face, how hot it got and my stomach was feeling fuzzy, like I can imagine his hand on my face, my shoulder, on my waist, wondering if his hands can wrap around them or he would just place them on my hips, or how low they can go—

I felt his hands shifted a bit, my mind focused back to reality and when I looked towards him, he was already close to him, watching me intensely. He was leaning in, hunched over as he peer his head up to me, trying to get a look at my face. (I guess I was curling in my seat, that he wanted to make sure I was okay???)

He let go one of his hands to brush my cheek, cleaning off the dry tears on them from earlier. Then those thoughts came back, it didn't help that his warm ass hands were surprisingly gentle. I was so use to seeing him fight, kill with those hands, only to find out that it was actually soft. Then just as the thoughts came, I came back in focus. I don't remember if I said anything but I do remember that my mouth was slightly opened, I think I was trying to form words but it was just a odd choking sound that came out. I was so embarrassed that I had to physically push him back (I don't know if I did it too hard or not, I know in real life, I can be very rough when I try to be gentle) and basically scrambling out of my seat. I think I got some control in this because I remember feeling this weird intense feeling of 'I'm doing something cliché and misunderstanding will happen' so, while not looking back, I said, "Sorry, just...your hands are really warm and soft. My stomach feels strange. Give me a moment or I might pass out." (YEA, I THINK I WAS STILL BRAIN DEAD WHEN THIS HAPPENED)

I was so flustered that I ran out the room but I remember hearing him laugh, which I need to tell you, made my heart fucking full and soaring, I was grasping my chest, scared that my heart will pop out.

Okay, this scene was interesting, like, I can fully remember every little feeling at this point.

At this point, our relationship changed, Shen Jiu was more open with me and I felt seen and heard from him. I was more happy with him, not saying that I wasn't!

Before, he was a stranger who I first saw when I first woke up in this world. I felt my heart soften for him immediately, seeing orphans who were trying to live in the streets made me take them under my wings, like a responsibility adult. In return, he helped take care of me, even though it was for a short time as we move into the woods where I forced myself to move around, trying to not show any weaknesses as I wanted to be useful for these boys. I showed them that I was someone who they can trust, which I did earned their trust but I wanted more than that. I wanted to form a relationship with them.

Shen Jiu never called me his sister or brother, as I did the same, nothing like what he had with Yue Qi. But I still wanted to there for him, taking care of him like he did to me. Our relationship was tensed but it slowly relaxed when they saw how I helped them survive in the wildness, it was more...natural than in the streets.

During our teen years, our relationship was better. I still felt like a burden but more towards Shen Jiu as Yue Qi didn't want to form anything with me. I tried to be Shen Jiu's rock, someone he can go to when he needed something, but he end up being mines. I never told him my feelings and opinions as I was a little hesitant about his reaction but I felt alive when I was near him. Feeling safe enough to drop the act of maturity so I can tease him a bit after a long day of working. I still acted strong when I was alone as he was up in his peak but the walls slowly started to chip away when Shen Jiu announced he will not be peak lord just so he can come down the mountain and help train me in a way I can understand. That he was willing to throw being a powerful role and rank away just so he can help me be an immortal. I think we were best friends at that point but it felt something off, like it was...more? But it didn't change the fact I was more open on talking about anything personal to him.

Now, after that talk, I was more free with my emotions, like I have no hesitation to stand close by his side when I know he like his personal space. Or touch his arm when I felt nervous and wanted to make sure he was nearby. He doesn't tell me off nor brush it off, more like he encourages me to do all of this. I wanted to make him laugh more, but at the same time, he was doing something that caught me off guard before I'm laughing with him.

It was then, I realized something. It was like he also wanted to see me happy too, so we just...went back and forth with making each other happy. There were times that he reciprocate my action, it started to get more often. Like when I stand somewhere, he's always in the same room as me. While he wasn't touchy in public, he let me carry his fans when I get nervous around large crowds. Or when we're alone, he would brush my hand if I wasn't looking at him. It was small moments like these that I started to realized something ground breaking. I was in love with him (Yes, I didn't realize the signs until that moment. I was so oblivious in this dream (^^;)) and I fell hard.

This last scene was nervous wrecking, like I remember tears in this one but surprisingly, I didn't cry in my sleep. The scene started in our kitchen, he was cutting something up and I was on an island, watching him. I remembered that I wanted to confess but I was so nervous about his reaction, and when I opened my mouth, I almost choked on air. Shen Jiu looked up, raising his brows at my fail suicide attempt, which like...what the fuck, you bitch!?

Anyways, I had to recover myself so I just pop the classic question of what was his favorite color. Something about me asking that made he stare me, it wasn't like he was glaring but his eyes seem...soft, curious? It was something that made my hear skip beats, I swear. I guess I understand the look, we never really ask those personal questions to each other, I was more observant, guessing when he responded or reaction to something, bad or good. Which I felt guilty for not even asking but I try to cover up it up by answering first, about to say that blue is my first color but I stop and said green instead. You know, cause it reminds me of him. He was always wearing different shades of green and I just associate it to him, I see green robes in the corner of my eye and I just know he's around. I thought he was going to agree but to my surprised, he said, "The color of raspberries. It's a beautiful shade of color."

I don't know why but I felt hot in the face again, the way he said it was so...like the tone was full of fondness. It made me feel very fuzzy and maybe gave me a boost of courage that I excuse myself from the room to grab a piece of paper. I just wrote it my feelings, sharing what I wished to say but they get stuck in my thoat. I confessed that I might had these feelings since Shen Jiu left to join Qing Jing but I now realized how strong it is after all these years.

After folding it, I looked around the room, realizing that I actually have to tell him but I could feel my hands shaked. I didn't think he would like me and with how cruel he can be with his words, will not only not hesitate to reject me but might even leave as he'll be uncomfortable being around me. I just barely got him to smiles more, years of trusting me to be open with himself and it was going to be weird, having me confess this to him within a short time. (I think the two scenes were months apart or something?)

I was scared but I couldn't hide this from him. He didn't deserve to be lied to, he hates when things were being keep hidden from him and we trust each other, he deserves that know this at least. So in a gloomy mood, I looked around to find something to offer as a peace offering. Lookinb on my desk, there were some small rubber bands that I remember making to use for hairstyles on myself and Shen Jiu, I called them Ligas. (I think I got the inspiration from the ones in my bathroom, somehow bringing them to my dreams?)

I remembered picking up one that was literally the same color of a raspberry but more brighter and exited my room to see that Shen Jiu was not in the kitchen. I sneaked into his room, placing the liga and the note on top of his bed. When I left, Shen Jiu was around the corner, about to enter his room. I quickly step in the way, asking him if we could go hang outside for a bit. He narrowed his eyes at me, looking suspicious but after some begging (yes, I apparently puppy dog eye him), he gave in.

I knew that he would reject me, I knew it from my guts that he would either yell at me or straight up pack his things and leave. I was even willing to leave myself if he wanted to stay in the house, I was willing to do anything to keep him comfortable and safe. I just wanted to spend our "last" moment together. I don't remember much about what we did but I do remember that I had to do this, I wasn't ready, I don't think I will ever be but I need to do this, so when the sun was setting with the sky was painted orange and pink, I finally told him to check his bed. I remembered he turn to me and the look he gave was unreadable but he asked, "Are you sure?"

I want to cry but I held back and still told him to go. He left and when the door close behind me, I almost sob. I didn't want him to hear me but the pain and fear was unbearable, I remember curling forward that my forehead was on my knees and my hands cover my face. It feel like forever but eventually, the door to open again, footsteps walking down the stairs and coming towards me. I try to dry my face but I didn't want to move too much, scared that I'll irritate him. But suddenly, I hear something fell behind (if asking, he kneel behind me) and a hand move my hair to the side. I was going to turn my head but a pair of lips kiss the back of my neck! I know for sure that I froze in place, my mind went blank from the warm feeling that was building quickly in my stomach and heart. Familiar hands wrap around my upper body, pulling me back towards a warm chest as I felt Shen Jiu rest his head on my shoulder.

"I felt the same for a long time now. I can't let you go if you back out. You're mine if you don't leave"

And maybe I was in cloud 9 that I told he's stupid if he thinks that my feelings were a joke and that I'll never leave him if he back out too. Then, lips pressed against mine, sealing our fate. I felt hazy, a usual sign that the dream was ending so I was back in control of my body and held his left hand, but I remember feeling something thin around on one of his fingers so when I look down, I almost cried again. He was wearing the liga on his ring finger. As the world started to fade away, I remember the last thing he said to me...

"You know why I like the color raspberry? It's the color you turned when you get flustered. I remembered that day at the table, knowing I will always love that color forever."

And that's when I woke up, wanting to go back to sleep so I can punch the fuck out of this man. But alas, this is where my dream ended and man, those lips will haunt me now. I never been kiss and yet, this man made me remember how it felt. It will never be something I'll forget.

*The "rings" from the dream*

PT1: The Journey

PT2: The Dream

The Journey

I'll try to shorten the explanation as quickly as possible, just hang on. For those who don't know, I write stories, I don't think I do good but hey, been writing since I was 12. I post them on Wattpad, but kind of stop since my autistic mind kind of jumps around draft to draft. And sadly, I have many, I think over 100...yikes, but anyway, I usually get stories from either daydreaming or actually dreams.

Example: I had a old draft (I think I made it in 2018?) that's was about Seth Clearwater imprinting on this OC (aka, me but I didn't want it to be cringing so I make a OC, and I do have a lot because of this...oops (ー_ー;)) but the OC was stuck in this wolf form, like a actual wolf size form. So Seth had to learn to communicate with this girl who can't talk and so confused with her feelings about him (yes, she's autistic. Expect most of my OCs to be autistic cause of me, and there's not many I read of autistic characters x fandom, so I wanted to boost this) but her backstory is even sadder. Basically, she was from a wolf pack called the Graham Pack, daughter of the leader of the pack. He's like known to have a pretty strong pack or something, can't remember but the most important thing it that, her father and mother don't love each, like they were arranged to marry each other, somehow? So she was born from a loveless marriage, mother was controlling and abusive and father was not really in her life all the time, like he was mostly busy with managing the pack. One day, a rouge pack was attacking wolf packs all over the world to be the strongest, and the leader was using a lit of dark magic somehow. That pack attacked the Graham pack, and with all the pack members refusing to join with the bad guys, they were all killed so no survivors...except OC, duh. For the first time, her mother and father worked together to save her. Father stay back to fight anyone following the mother while she put OC on a small raft and push her away from the island they were living in. OC was found by a nearby pack, a very special pack. Apparently, this pack, I had it call the Naikoon Pack, was friends with the Graham but they didn't get any message for help so no one knew the pack was attacked, until OC wash up on their land. The leader of the pack, Humphrey was best friends with OC's father so he took her in under his wing. He didn't adopt her, only had a packmate help take care of her but Humphrey was involved in her life like a parent. Also note, Humphrey is married but they have no kids and their marriage is also arranged but they respect for each other than in love. OH, AND that OC was stuck in that form because she was so traumatized on that day, she shifted to make herself small, but she couldn't turn back. And being stuck in that form, made her the tiniest of the pack. I know, it's crazy.

But the story was becoming boring later on, so I kind of abandoned it. I was even thinking of deleting it but I was like 'I see potential with this, I'll wait to see.'

And then, a domino's effect happened. I saw a funny meme, I was like, 'hey, those name look familiar! It's those two gay guys that everyone seem to go nuts about, it seem to be a Chinese fandom but, I'll try to understand as much as I can this time! Let me check it out again.' And that's how I got into the MXTXverse. All of this, because of a stupid Bichen & Wei Wuxian meme...so hello fandom! I'm new, been silent but been obsessed with the three big famous books of her works. Like I got so into it, I was rereading that old draft I and laughed about it cause a thought came in mind. I was like, 'I can see Humphrey and OC's father relationship being a childhood friends to forbidden love. But because their parents are homophobic, they were forced away from each other. Ha, I can even see Humphrey as Lan Wangji as he raise OC, his crush's child!....oh'

So yeah, repurpose that draft...little by little and now it's about recarnated mdzs and tgcf's characters in the world of twilight...then I add svsss into the mix...and harry potter...and hotd but who counting?!

Me, cause I'm making a whole as lore about it. And guess what, this new dream I have this week, might connect this already messing world, and Idgaf now! If anyone is interested on what I have in store for this, ask me. I would love to share this, it's really amazing. Like, I have this explaining to my niece and to simplify who's who, this is how I refer the characters (aka, let me introduce some them, I'm still working on their recarnated names).

Xie Lian: Mom, cause he literally adopt 8 (after that new dream, now 9) kids. He officially adopted 3 (now 4) and 5 are under his "care", so unofficially adopted. He made have kidnapped some but hey, he picked up orphans and neglected kids. He's actually called Baba by his children.

Hua Cheng: Dad, but almost all of his children call him, Old Man as he's an old ass vampire, like he was born in 4666 BC. Very rarely, A-die.

Wei Wuxian: Sword Kink Guy, cause I show that meme to my niece, it's now how she knows him as. He was fun to mess with, especially his creature side. He's the reason everyone all Hua Cheng, Old Man, cause he's a little shit. Also, actually gave birth to three children. One of them is OC. Also, Hualian's second chilld.

Lan Wangji: 'Hm' Guy, the autistic father. Loves his husband very much. Had a very fun time with making who his parents are. Hint: While Lan Wangji has be recarnated twice, his parents recarnated three times. One in tgfc, and the second in mdzs.

Shen Yuan: Raging Guy (sometimes I accidentally say Raging Bait Guy lol), the only one who didn't recarnated. He still died but he comes back to my world, as his family miss him very much. Not his biological parents, they're assholes. His siblings are good tho, but these kids have very bad parents so Xie Lian kidnapped them. He will be a little different as he does have a boyfriend (this little shit is the reason why I made Harry Potter canon in my world. Also...cumplane) before he died so he's not that obvious about his gayness. End up in a harem of three guys. Take a guess. (Also, his brother is involved in my dream. The reason why it's canon to this world too.) Hualian's fifth child.

Luo Binghe: Demon Guy, still the same, just that he is now involved with Shen Yuan's life with his family. Also, yes, he knows his husband's real identity and is chill with his supernatural in-law. He fits in real noice.

Again, ask me if you are interested in more lore. One day, I'll publish it but I still have to post that hotd fic, that's the one the starts this whole mess.

PT1: The Journey

PT2: The Dream