A thing of beauty @zeugmatador - Tumblr Blog

Murderbot + text posts [189/∞]

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lhoandbehold

Server at work was down for 2 hours so I rigged & animated this little medieval bat friend. I couldn't do any fun texture work this time around but

foone

I was looking at sex toys on aliexpress (like you do) and it suggested I get a 45cm (17″) Black Tourmaline Hexagonal Obelisk. I don’t think that’s a good idea

foone

FINALLY, WE CAN TENTACLIZE THE CLOUDS THEMSELVES!

foone

and now I found the “realistic torture/execution devices for dolls” section.

foone

aliexpress is seriously the best place to look at sex toys because they can’t show nudity so they have to finding other ways to show off the use of the toys.

This results in a LOT of abused food, which is always hilarious.

foone

that’s not what I was searching for and frankly at this point I can’t really remember what I was searching for

foone

oh baby, slide into my chrysanthemum for some novel gameplay!

foone

one of my favorite things is when they decide to give you the whole hard sell.

instead of just being like “hey this is a good sex toy”, they instead try to explain why you’d even need a sex toy, from first principles. and that principle is usually “your boyfriend/husband sucks”. or doesn’t, I guess.

they always end up looking like a r/wheredidthesodago commercial for lesbianism

foone

so the sound of this sex toy is between a flower and a clock!

wait, a flower? do… do flowers make sounds?

foone

I’ve posted about the Hammer Sex Toy before, but it turns out it’s not alone. There’s also…

THE WRENCH!

foone

now that is a fucking slogan

foone

one of my favorite things is that when they’re showing off that sex toys have a bluetooth+internet thing so people can control them remotely, they always show a world map and two points labeled with city names and they’re ABSOLUTELY NOWHERE NEAR THE ACTUAL CITIES.

foone

sex toy or vulcan starship?

foone

OH MEHR SPIELMÖGLICHKEITEN!

foone

this will give you the biggest orgasm of your life, but your mother will die. Oh well, there’s other parents.

foone

In the quiet night all you can hear is your rapid breathing

foone

found another tool! it’s scissors this time.

I’m not sure anyone of any gender really wants scissors near their genitals, so this may not be the best design

foone

sometimes all I can say is “what”

foone

is this vaporwave?

foone

I don’t think that’s how that works

foone

your strawberries will never be safe

foone

finally, the first robot that can eat a flan!

foone

another fun trope in aliexpress sex toys: just listing off all the rooms of your house you could use it in!

(Unlike all those terrible dildos that don’t work in the living room or kitchen)

foone

finally the first sex toy designed specifically for wizards!

arielmh

David celebrating Pride Month 🏳️‍🌈

#david dastmalchian #grave conversations #pride month

heuheu-the-goose

From James Ortiz's instagram, a closeup look at Rocky’s hands, including his "goat leg".

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They make augments for pianos now

#piano #augmented piano #innovation #Youtube

silentturtle

This.

littlefreya

I will forever reblog this every time it’s on my dash because it should be this loud and simple. 💖

dolphincliffs

💜

redlipstickresurrected

Tom Gauld (Scottish, b. 1976, Aberdeen, Scotland) - The Reason I Stayed In The House All Day Drawings

xavantina

Murderbot + text posts [167/∞]

jurassicpeanut

No bond stronger than a disabled girl and her disabled cat

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Watch Anya Live on Cam

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming

xavantina

Murderbot + text posts [166/∞]

verilyvexed

finally watched late night with the devil 📺

hjbender

The Four Discoursemen

goddessactuality

ed-recoverry

What a privilege it is to get old.

What a privilege it is to show signs of aging.

What a privilege it is to not have passed at a young age.

What a privilege it is to have smile lines, wrinkles, graying hair, healing scars, and other signs your body has lived for years.

What a privilege it is to get old.

•18+ Adults Only

Watch Anya Live on Cam

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions

Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming

nocturnal-dark-deactivated20260

earendil-was-a-mariner

While talking with the Hobbits, Tom Bombadil puts on the One Ring. For a moment, all of the Nazgul burst into merry song. It is never discussed among them again.

ttrtru

I really couldn’t stop my self drawing this lol

da-boy-o-kultur

Eldritch horrors getting an eldritch horror experience, for a second they experienced something incomprehensible.

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