fledgling disciple

Andulka
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NASA
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d e v o n
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YOU ARE THE REASON

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@zephyrus-00
fledgling disciple

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βIt hurts. Being like this.
And itβs not like any pain you can feel when youβre alive. Itβsβ¦ it hurts to exist.
To be dead and still here.β
The amount of people who are unaware that blackouts are not that common - even for full DID systems - especially out of a specific situation; and as a result minimalize their own very much problematic amnesia, or apologize before they complain about their own amnesia, is geniunely saddening. Regardless of how many people black out or not, if it's disrupting your daily life on a regular basis YES you have amnesia.
Eye contact

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the backrooms this, backrooms that, you all would love my good friend Jonathan Sims who got lost in the tunnels under the Magnus Institute
Isnβt she wonderful?
ngl i rlly enjoy the idea of Jon actually being a Really good cook. like, better than Martin in fact. just cuz like, he was a neurodivergent kid who lived with his gran. he prolly picked it up because he was one of the few people he trusted to be able to make foods that didn't have Icky Texture. and i feel like it just adds another layer of tragedy to his character. just imagine him finding a bit of solace in his cooking. repeatable motions that are easy to just fall into, + plus having control over what's going into his body. and then as he falls into his workaholic habits, he begins to lose touch with that part of himself. and then after the coma he tries to cook again and discovers all human foods just taste like nothing. no joy to be found in them. another part of himself lost to the Entities.
What if Jon cried the first time Martin gave him an affectionate touch in the cabin?
Just the simplest thing of Martin covering Jon's shaking hand with his own, or moving his hair out of his eyes, or squeezing his shoulder reassuringly. Not even a hug, not even anything remotely more than casual
But for Jon, who hadn't experienced affectionate touch since Tim jostled him humorously back in Research in what could've been an eternity ago, to be touched without being harmed, without the pain that follows, has become such a foreign feeling that he hadn't known how much he needed until that moment when he shocked both himself and Martin by turning into a sobbing mess.
He's in a ball!

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thinking about statues of Grace being built all around Erid years after his passing so he can continue to watch over Eridians as they sleep
crawls towards you desperately and covered in blood. somewhere else jon ref.
PHM x TMA (1)
stupid gay things π€

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Jon being supper uncomfortable at fancy institute events and eventually Elias or Tim is just like "you know you don't have to dress like that if you want, you could like wear a skirt or something if you want".
The smallest crack in the egg is formed.
Nobody uses they/them pronouns.
^^ me trying to convince you to listen to ulysses does at dawn