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@zephyrantha
repeat after me once again folks. just because the banana was good does not mean you should keep going and eat the peel too. at some point you have to accept that you can't recapture the lightning in the bottle and no sequel or spinoff or other new installment of that thing you like is gonna make you feel the way you did when it was brand new, especially if it was something from a very formative time in your life. you have to ask the waiter for the check eventually
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GOD today i served a family of 3 and the dad was like “i’ll have a cappuccino” and the kid, a girl of about 11, was like “PLEASE.” and he was like “uh yeah. please” and the kid goes “well you’re always telling me to remember my manners!!! you should too!!” and i was cracking up
and then she was standing there w her mum while i made their drinks and i asked if the mum wanted chocolate sprinkles and she was like “yes please” and the kid goes “well at least SOMEONE remembered their manners” and then sighed dramatically and HEELYED AWAY and honestly? not sure how to go on knowing i’ll never be as cool as this 11 year old
Imagine being a side character in the freaky Friday reboot and not even knowing it
The thing about the destiel news meme is that I actually think it's great.
It does let you know that something has gone on in the world. But it's such a short format that it could never even pretend to give you all the relevant information about that thing. It usually provides less detail than the average headline, so it's not actually reporting, it's more like shouting a head's up across a crowded room. Still lets you know that something has happened though.
The very fact that it's a goofy and irreverent fandom meme also serves as a perpetual reminder that using social media to get news is a bad idea. Now that you know something has occurred, go read an actual article from a real source to verify it and get the details. It's an alert system with a format that never lets you forget that alerts are not articles, and that this website is not beholden to any kind of journalistic integrity.
I love it, the comments on destiel news memes are almost always full of people saying that they saw it and then rushed off to go verify the news with a reputable source. Do you know how often more "serious" format news stuff on this site just leaves people complacently certain that they've been given accurate info? Way too often. I wish half as many of those news updates had people commenting that they left tumblr to go double check it.
Do you think Clark Kent's first few major articles were about the continued presence of lead pipes in parts of Metropolis' water system
(Average Metropolis reader after investigative reporter C. Kent's 452nd article on yet another case of landlords/business owners/factories' continued use of lead pipes/paint/gas/glass knowingly exposing the public to dangerously toxic lead levels) what the fuck happened to this guy
One day Bruce Wayne mentions in an interview that heroes like Superman are overrated, as the most effective way to reduce crime is to provide public resources and improve local infrastructure, then cites how neighboring city Metropolis has effectively lowered their violent crime by 13% after addressing their outdated water system and investing low income housing. the reporter conducting the interview suddenly starts looking a little uncomfortable
To be clear, Clark is still a fantastic investigative reporter. He still has to track down the sources to prove all this shit
"Who, Clark Kent? Yeah, we're pretty sure he's a Meta. Is he a superhero? Like what, "Lead-detector guy"? "Captain pipes?" Don't get me wrong, he's a great guy and it's a handy trick, but it's lead detection, not laser vision. He's not about to go running around in tights any time soon."
I just love the idea of a cape maintaining their secret identity by pretending to be a completely different and less impressive kind of parahuman.
everyone assumes that kent is so squirrely around superheros because he’s just desperately hoping not to be conscripted to the JLA to fix their plumbing
Local Metropolis Reporter Publically Recognized For Contributions To The City; Awarded Medal Of Distinction
They tried to get superman to present the medal but he was offended at being called "overrated" in comparison to Clark so he declined
Counter offer: Bruce Wayne disguised as Superman
beating this dead horse with memes
Hey this was a real fun little read. It's so great to find these treasures on this site
We’re happy to have you!
Literally everyone: Fitz, you have to learn to be observant, remember all the details, and be able to assess a situation quickly. This is essential and will keep you alive.
Fitz Chivalry: Got it.
Also Fitz Chivalry: I'm going to jump to the dumbest possible conclusion after 2 seconds of observation. I will do this repeatedly. I will never ask for clarification.
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I didn't have hunter biden being the funniest person on twitter in 2026 on my bingo card yet here we are
He is the peoples princess
Some years ago I was having lunch with my nana at a conveyor belt sushi restaurant. It’s important to know for the sake of this story that my nana is a little old Mexican lady who nevertheless mistrusts everyone except white people. We were having a nice time, chatting and eating.
Then midway through the meal she leaned in close and said, “Sometimes… do you think they reuse the rice to make rolls?”
I turned to her in surprise and said, “No, why would you think that?”
“Well,” she said, “You know… those people never like to waste anything.”
We stared at each other across the yawning chasm of her previous statement and finally I managed, “Nana, that’s racist.”
“It is?”
“Yes. It is. Not all Asian people behave the same, and assuming they do is racist. Just like not all Mexican people are the same.”
She looked down at her meal, nonplussed, and I realized that her actual fear of spoiled food hadn’t been addressed.
I sighed and added, “You know, restaurants all get inspected by health inspectors and have to maintain certain codes. And the health inspector is probably also racist, which means non white businesses have to be even more careful. So the rice will always be fresh.”
She brightened immediately. “That’s true!” She ate another roll, secure in the knowledge that racism would keep her food safe.
Then she said, “I could be a health inspector!” and I nearly choked.
the european mind cannot comprehend the 48 oz dunkin bucket
fwuaty-ate ounceza cawffee
not to be insensitive but some of the salem witch trials were so funny bitches like “i saw her at the devils sacrament!!!” girl... what were YOU doing at the devils sacrament 👀
happy birthday devils sacrament. i wish you were never born
#Happy Labor Day to Shrek I guess
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Best customer I’ve ever had was when some rich white cape cod lady in a floor length fur coat came into my store and asked her daughters what sweated pants were and how to wear them and her daughters kept trying to explain what sweat pants were to her and she was completely and utterly flummoxed by them
She asked if sweat pants are bisexual and her daughter was like “unisex?” and she was like “sure”
Do I actually want to write this fanfic or do I just want to wallow in the delicious daydream like a pig in the mud?
Unfortunately I wish for others to wallow in my magnificent mud pit
thank you for the magnificent mud pits, fanfic writers
Alright this is going to be a very controversial thing to say but.
I really and truly believe that the "treat yourself" culture and people living well above their means and going into a ton of debt just to have fun and live lives of luxury with no regard for the future is a form of passive suicidal ideation. I am only now dragging myself out of a hole of suicidal ideation after being in it since my very early teens and the idea that what you do now doesn't matter because you don't have a future is like. Classic passive suicidal ideation. You aren't actively planning to hurt yourself, you don't actively want to die, but subconsciously or not, you are envisioning a future where you do not exist.
"It doesn't matter if I max out a dozen credit cards because I don't have a future anyway." Okay, why? Why don't you have a future? Where are you in this mystery future where none of your actions now can touch you? I am not trying to be mean, but I need people to really think about this and realize that they are setting up a future for themselves where they are not present and there's only one way that can happen.
Talk to a therapist. Get help. Build a support system. Reach out to your friends and loved ones living like this and express your concern. If they aren't willing to listen, fine. Lots of people living with passive suicidal ideation don't want to listen or acknowledge they have a problem. But maybe they will listen. At least you've tried either way.
It's so scary and horrifying to see this become so common among younger generations and so much of it is because our economy is in the fucking trash. People see how difficult it is to buy a house, get a job they can survive off, get a job that makes going to college worth it, start a family, pay off loans and debts, buy groceries, etc and it's filling them with a horrific and deep existential dread. It's so easy to overspend and get into debt when you can't see a future where saving will ever be worth it, where you will ever face any consequences for spending recklessly now.
And again, that is a form of suicidal ideation. A future where you face no consequences and where you can't benefit from savings is a future where you are dead. Full stop. End of statement. Get help.
gordon ramsey: is the food good here?
underpaid server:
My favourite thing about that show is how he treats servers. It was also the source of some very intense fantasies when I was a barista of him busting into my cafe, calling my boss a fucking idiot, then taking me against the broken dishwasher.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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jamr0ll:
This never stops being hilarious
Do you love the color of the–
HONK
English added by me :)
