Zephy

(Minor Spoilers for 2.4) (also, I’m no expert in… anything, really, but these are just my ramblings).

So, this has probably been mentioned before, but I have a teeny-tiny theory about Sampo’s true identity, and it relates to Finnish mythology.

So, “Sampo” in and of itself doesn’t have a set meaning, but it has its roots in Finnish mythology, particularly the “Kalevala” which is a 19th-century compilation of epic poetry. In it, a blacksmith god by the name of Seppo Ilmari(nen) forges the mythical device known as “The Sampo”. It’s never quite explained what The Sampo really is; some versions depict it as a mill, others as a cornucopia from which bountiful creations flow from, and some even have it as being a world tree/world pillar, so what The Sampo really is, isn’t entirely known. But, what is known, is that it brought riches and good fortune to its holder (again, the same as the cornucopia from Greek mythology).

But why am I mentioning all of this? Why bring up the Kalevala? It could be that Hoyo just chose the name “Sampo” for some flavour—befitting of a character who magics up relics from seemingly thin air and is trying to create riches—and yeah, it’s a possibility…

Until I saw these two screenshots from the 2.4 story:

You know what this means, right? 

Kalevala is a real planet in Hoyo’s Star Rail universe, and I find it awfully coincidental that they would use this name for a planet and not have it related to a certain blue haired conman, especially since The Sampo is such a pivotal element in the plot of the Kalevala—there is no way this is a coincidence (I refuse to believe it).

This leads me to believe that Kalevala is Sampo’s real home world, and is where he originates from.

Now, this is all well and good, knowing where “The Sampo” hails from, but I want to focus on its creator—Seppo Ilmari(nen)—and his parallels to a certain blue haired conman. For one, Ilmari(nen)’s name is quite interesting as the ‘Ilma’ part is Finnish for ‘air’ or ‘weather’, and as we know, Sampo’s element is that of ‘wind’ (And also the fact that Ilmari(nen) is credited as “Godlike smith-hero and creator of the sky”. I could go into a whole spiel about Ilmari(nen) and Qlipoth swinging their giant hammers in tandem together for all eternity (Go Sampard! Geppie is Qlipoth's true heir, you can't convince me otherwise!), but that’s for another conspiracy theory lol).

So, ‘Ilma’ means ‘air’, and Sampo wields ‘wind’.

Cool.

If the parallels ended there, I’d just say I was being crazy… but there’s more.

Sampo’s 4th (and arguably best) eidolon is called “The Deeper the Love, the Stronger the Hate”. Two out of his six eidolons refer to 'love', whilst the other 4 are to do with wealth and riches. The wealth and richest aspect leans towards The Sampo of mythology, whilst the ‘love’ aspect, well…

According to the story, Seppo Ilmari(nen) is the unluckiest bastard alive when it comes to love. Like, seriously. His whole storyline is that he can’t find a woman. For one, Seppo Ilmari(nen) is double crossed by his so called buddy, Väinämöinen, into creating The Sampo for the evil witch Louhi of Pohjola in exchange for her daughter’s hand in marriage (which, Ilmari didn’t even want in the beginning), but when the poor guy actually sees the daughter and falls in love with her (and subsequently creates the Sampo—after failing miserably a number of times, mind you—he creates a crossbow, a boat, a cow(wtf?) and a plough, all which are somehow either evil or flawed), she ups and just leaves him hanging! (in the original runes, however, he is successful in gaining a wife, as his ‘unlucky in love’ spiel was later added by Lönnrot in compiling the Kalevala).

As with any mythology and re-telling of it, there’s so many different versions of the same event. In “The Maiden of the North”, a 1898 opera written by Oskar Merikanto, both Ilmarinen and Väinämöinen compete for the chance to marry Louhi’s daughter, who is mentioned as being “Ilmari(nen)’s first wife” who later dies to Kullervo’s curse (apparently she was a bit of a bitch to Kullervo by taunting and tormenting the poor boy—who was a child slave mind you!). Distraught, Ilmari(nen) forges himself a wife of gold and silver, but he finds her to be too cold and callous—he forges her out of love but only finds hate—so he tries to gift her to Väinämöinen (who doesn’t want her, lol), and suggests he cast her back into the furnace and to “forge from her a thousand trinkets”.

Here’s the accompanying poem:

Never, youths, however wretched,

Nor in future, upgrown heroes,

Whether you have large possessions,

Or are poor in your possessions,

In the course of all your lifetime,

While the golden moon is shining,

May you woo a golden woman,

Or distress yourselves for silver,

For the gleam of gold is freezing,

Only frost is breathed by silver.

It is apparently your standard Aesop’s fable of “money can’t buy happiness”, which is something else I see in our dear old Sampo Koski. During our time in Belobog, we see how different he acts with the Underworld and Overworlders. To the poor, he actually seems approachable (albeit a bit of a nuisance), going so far as to help the Underworlders (an example being the questline “Survival Wisdom” in which he and Peak set up a business together renting out his tools to help the miners make a decent wage to support their families). In contrast, we actively see Sampo being very hostile towards the Overworlders, scamming them and putting the nobles in their place or setting up (an example being during the museum questline where you discover his identity as “Mr Cold Feet”. Sampo clearly states to who he thinks is his mark that ‘we are not friends’ in a very hostile manner, something which we’ve not seen from Sampo before as he is usually quite amicable). 

For all Sampo’s showboating and flashing his money around, he helps where it counts.

Anyway, back to him being unlucky in love…

In another rune entitled “Kosinta”, Ilmari(nen) goes on a journey to compete for Hiisi’s daughter, and wins by completing various feats, one of them being “ploughing a field full of snakes”:

And as we know, Sampo is very heavy on the snake motifs (the head of the snake on his shoulders, the spine wrapped around him, the daggers are its fangs…etc.)

So that’s another interesting link between Seppo Ilmari(nen) and Sampo Koski.

So, why have I gone on this long winded tangent about Seppo Ilmari(nen) when I’m supposed to be talking about Sampo Koski?

Well, that’s because I think Sampo Koski’s real name is (or a variant of) Ilmarinen.

In the Hoyo universe, I believe Ilmarinen came from the planet Kalevala and ‘created’ the persona of Sampo Koski, much like how in the Kalevala, Seppo Ilmari(nen) forged The Sampo.

As I’ve listed above, there’s so many links between the two:

“Air” as a name and “Wind” as an element.

Seppo Ilmari(nen) ploughed a field of snakes to win Hiisi’s daughter’s hand in marriage, whilst Sampo Koski relies heavily on snake motifs for his attire.

Sampo’s two eidolon names that relate to love (which are completely different from the other 4 eidolon names), whilst Seppo Ilmari(nen) is known to be unlucky in love.

I’m pretty damn sure Sampo creates his own bombs and tinkers with the old relics to bring them back to life, whereas Seppo Ilmari(nen) is a smith who created the dome of the sky! They’re both artificers!

And now the revelation that a planet by the name of “Kalevala” exists is no mere coincidence.

So, either Sampo is Ilmari(nen) - or! - Sampo is a puppet (like Herta) created by someone called Ilmari(nen). 

(I would love if his 5* version is him with this name).

Improved Au Ra Tail [DT]

But yes this is very accurate. On one hand he would always make sure Will was comfortable talking to him about anything, no matter what, and lets him know that his emotions regarding his father's death are not and will never be a sign of weakness.

Like, what is grief if not love preserving? The sheer Love Nelson had to abandon everything he ever knew and run off to the deep end of parenthood to make sure this traumatized little boy had at least Someone in his corner, like That is Love.

- Biggest Fear (Aside from losing anything else he cares about) is Ghosts. His reasoning for it? “Dude, you can shoot zombies, you can fight against Jason…you’d LOSE against Jason but you can still fight him. You can’t fight ghosts! Everything just goes right through them if you can even see them!”

- “The Impossible is Possible when you’re Wonderful Baby!” Is Absolutely his catchphrase as Wonder Blue and everyone either Loves It or Hates It there is No In Between.

- The man Screams being a 3OH!3 fan and has on at least one occasion, rolled up his car window on someone who was talking while “Blah Blah Blah” by them and Kesha blared off his speakers.

- I mentioned it in my analysis but Blue is Not Good with Tech. Like, he’s Fine with his phone he can make calls, text, and play music. However…the moment he tries anything more complex It Gets A Bit Wild…the amount of laptops he has accidentally broken is Up There. Thing is he doesn’t even know How he keeps breaking things he’ll like press a button and just gets a Blue Screen lol

- Because of this he’s honestly not much of a gamer lol, his nerdiness is more aligned with stuff like movies/comics/tv shows…you want him to go on a rant for an hour? Ask him his thoughts on the Sequel Trilogy

- Certified Coffee Addict, will drink anything so long as it has caffeine (even with sugar)

- I feel like he def had a delinquent phase in the time after his brother’s death, regularly getting into fights and failing in school. It served to only enhance his self-isolation as very few people wanted anything to do with him because of his attitude and prickly nature. Oh Goodness he’s a bit of the Hedgehog’s Dilemma isn’t he? *chucks them in with peacocks and wolves to describe him*

I can see him litterally, some how, setting his laptops on fire and his office pc if he attempts it...

And omg him being a comic nerd and just having secret hidden figureines... he probs has a super big stash of movies and comics

Luka rolls up for Halloween in like those sheet ghosts costumes and pops up behind him…The scream could be heard for Miles.

- Biggest Fear (Aside from losing anything else he cares about) is Ghosts. His reasoning for it? “Dude, you can shoot zombies, you can fight against Jason…you’d LOSE against Jason but you can still fight him. You can’t fight ghosts! Everything just goes right through them if you can even see them!”

- “The Impossible is Possible when you’re Wonderful Baby!” Is Absolutely his catchphrase as Wonder Blue and everyone either Loves It or Hates It there is No In Between.

- The man Screams being a 3OH!3 fan and has on at least one occasion, rolled up his car window on someone who was talking while “Blah Blah Blah” by them and Kesha blared off his speakers.

- I mentioned it in my analysis but Blue is Not Good with Tech. Like, he’s Fine with his phone he can make calls, text, and play music. However…the moment he tries anything more complex It Gets A Bit Wild…the amount of laptops he has accidentally broken is Up There. Thing is he doesn’t even know How he keeps breaking things he’ll like press a button and just gets a Blue Screen lol

- Because of this he’s honestly not much of a gamer lol, his nerdiness is more aligned with stuff like movies/comics/tv shows…you want him to go on a rant for an hour? Ask him his thoughts on the Sequel Trilogy

- Certified Coffee Addict, will drink anything so long as it has caffeine (even with sugar)

- I feel like he def had a delinquent phase in the time after his brother’s death, regularly getting into fights and failing in school. It served to only enhance his self-isolation as very few people wanted anything to do with him because of his attitude and prickly nature. Oh Goodness he’s a bit of the Hedgehog’s Dilemma isn’t he? *chucks them in with peacocks and wolves to describe him*

I can see him litterally, some how, setting his laptops on fire and his office pc if he attempts it...

And omg him being a comic nerd and just having secret hidden figureines... he probs has a super big stash of movies and comics

"Why dont women like me?"

A small collection of my favorite Reds from the official comic. I erased anything that could be kinda spoilery because the comic came out today (kinda, it depends on where you live. I got the email at around 8pm, 6-24-24. It was probably during the day in Japan). They clearly had too many artists working on it and the art styles are very inconsistent. I liked the art of the last chapter the most.

Some things we learn as well as some special highlights that occur in the comic, mild spoilers:

There are doughnuts, and it's funny as hell.

Blue gets strangled in a "kinky" kinda way and it's adorable. I use "kinky" very loosely here.

Meanwhile, the doughnut scenario is incredibly kinky if you're into the same stuff I'm into (if only Red was in that scene).

Blue is rude to a dog, surprisingly and also unsurprisingly.

A dog also gets strangled. It's disgusting and disturbing.

Blue flirts with some random woman during a high speed chase.

Apparently the Wonder-Liner works on animals. It's a shame that never happened in the game.

Luka definitely has a crush on Sue. That was pretty clear in his spin-off title, too.

Red does not decorate his classroom at all. It's very sterile.

White and Yellow just hang out sometimes? They appear to enjoy training together.

Wonder-Black gives a thumbs-up, specifically to a dog, and it's adorable.

Commander Nelson's eyes are only seen in the game once, and in shadow. They appear clearly in the comic in the first panel you see him in and it kinda diminishes the weight of their exposure.

Vorkken eats a cherry, and makes a cute full-cheeks face that is absolutely precious.