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Estinien: There must be a mistake!

Me: No mistake. I can afford to cut back a little. Have a wonderful day.

Estinien: (tearing up)

Suddenly, a shrieky little voice rang out. A lalafell wearing a stupid mask and a oversized moustache barrelled toward me.

Lolorito: The fuck are you doing??!!!

He yanked the 20 gil from the Estinien’s grip, making the Azure Dragoon cut himself with his Augmented Drachen Gauntlets. He stuffed the bloody coins in my face.

Lolorito: No. NO. You worked for this money while he sat on his ass and jerked off. YOU KEEP IT.

He threw the metal in my face, which hurt.

Me: What the fuck is your problem, asshole??

Lolorito: Listen to me, you fucking useless Miqo'te. I’m from Ul'dah, where the dragoons have the decency to try and work for money, whether it’s ERPing at the quicksand, cleaning your chocobo stables, or just doing a little dance on the Sapphire Avenue Exchange. I once saw a Roegadyn with one leg hop in a circle for hours to make 6 Grand Company seals! That’s the difference between a classy dragoon... and a BUM.

Me: Well this is my gil. I earned it in Aurum Vale. I’ll use it any way I like. How do you get your gil if you’re so important?

Lolorito: I don’t need a job because my businesses gives me money!

A crowd had formed. Everyone was glaring at this scumbag and a few were even cheering me on.

Estinien: You want a dance, you little prick?

Everyone turned to see Estinien rising to his feet. To our amazement, he began to perform a pitch-perfect, Far Eastern style dance.

Estinien: Oppa Estinien style!

The crowd erupted. We all began to join in the dance, save for Lolorito, who turned bright purple.

Everyone: Op! Op! Op! Oppa Estinien style!

I HAVE THE SHINIEST MEAT BICYCLE!!

(eorzeacollection link below cut)