ceo of elvis

Fuck I’m at a fencing tournament and literally a minute after I reblogged this my dad told me that he talked to the point people and I’m probably going to win a medal.

BURN BAGEL BURN

OH WHY NOT?

I GOT A JOB THE DAY AFTER MY QUEUE POSTED THIS THE FIRST TIME AND I JUST REALIZED IT WHEN I SAW IT AGAIN HOLY GOD

The bagel hasn’t let me down yet!

Let’s see what you can do bagel

Also messed up in that they should have been called quackarons.

She was so busy keeping an eye on the Maillard Reaction that she lost track of the Mallard Direction.

personally I'm annoyed by the socioeconomic conditions that made words like "unalive" necessary but simultaneously impressed by the linguistic adaptations young people have made to continue talking about important things while subject to those conditions and I think if you can't hold both of those thoughts in your head you might just be old man yelling at cloud

Two of my niblings (10 and 7) self-censor like this in real life during actual conversations. I tried briefly to explain to the 10-year-old that they didn't have to do that in real life after they said "unalive" out loud in casual conversation, and they just said they preferred to. On the one hand, I'm sad to see them unconsciously and fully without awareness succumbing to the panopticon. On the other... this post.

die has actually already undergone this process. die originally meant "flow" (i guess it's like you're flowing out of life or something? or maybe your life is flowing out of you idk). it was (probably) loaned from old norse to displace the now obsolete "swelt". and yes, that is the root word of "sweltering"

THIS IS THE HARDEST I HAVE LAUGHED IN SO LONG YOU HAVE CURED MY DEPRESSION

This is one of the greatest posts I’ve ever witnessed. The payoff was amazing.

My roommate heard it going and went “OH MY GOD is it EVER going to resolve?” then the payoff hit and she busted up laughing

I will always care more about the supportive cishet boyfriend at pride than i will about the wannabe cop queer person interrogating every “straight looking” couple to make sure they’re “queer enough” to be there btw. Don’t worry about your cishet boyfriend, he’s sitting with me eating an ice cream wearing a homemade little pride bracelet around his arm and he is the happiest he’s ever been in his life :]

Can you swap their heads ?

>#I love how this gag would be funny at any point since the third century BCE

Is it socially acceptable to use opaque watercolors, or is that considered gouache?

Soup

Hot hot soup

fuck if it’s this easy why do they close the goddamn road for like five months shit

all outta soub :(

Leave the soup men alone.

Leave the soup men alone, and go vote for people who will pay for more soup and more soup people

also be careful in workzones and obey speed signs and other directions. Soup men deserve respect and deserve to go home safe ;o;

It's actually so fucking weird that your identity is absolute these days. like, it's been normalized to the point we don't think of it much, but until a hundred years ago, hell even less, you could just kinda. go somewhere else, and be a new person. and that's not a thing anymore.

Yk this is fully untrue right? You can fully still do this if you're willing to change and let go of everything at literally any moment you want

since a good few people now have said this i want to be clear: you can move to a new town still and change socially, but like. the government still knows who you are. so do tons of corporations. your identity follows you.

13 hours later and the parade of stupid comments like this has not stopped =_=

a guy named Rusty cage did a video on how it's impossible to leave your identity behind unless you become a eunuch

fuck hermit I meant hermit

Identity is stored in the balls.