The Dragon's Hoard

Potion of Extreme Stamina by thecoffeecoyote

Aura Whisper by thecoffeecoyote

Become Ethereal by thecoffeecoyote

Animal Allegiance by thecoffeecoyote

Ash Rune by candywarlock

Fade Other by candywarlock

Greater Ward by candywarlock

Fire Salts by pomegranateandivy

Sweet Roll v2

Sweet Roll v3

Sweet Roll v4

Snowberry Crostata

Snowberry Pie

Jazbay Crostata

Boiled Creme Treat

Honey Nut Treat

Tomato Soup

Apple Cabbage Stew

Potato Soup

Vegetable Soup

Elsweyr Fondue

Potato Bread and Nirn Root Salad

Chicken Breast and Garlic Bread

Salmon Steak

Cooked Beef

“Dog” Meat

Sunlight Souffle

Creme Brulee

Sausage Filled Braided Bread

Apple Pie

Moon Sugar

Skooma

Argonian Bloodwine

"I'm pretty sure that fella ain't here legally."

"Well, that ain't your business Chip, it's his."

They hate being preached to. If you pull out words like 'gender wage gap' they'll tell you you're brainwashed by the far left media.

"He's one of them transgenders."

Instead say, "The government shouldn't be able to tell you what to do with your body. You want some bureaucrat getting between you and your doctor? Making it take twice as long to get treatment? If someone wants breast implants, hormones, or to not get pregnant, that's between them and their doctor. You know they got surgeries where they can break your leg bones and stretch them to make you taller? I watched a thing about a woman who did that; it was her dream to be a fight attendant, but she was too short (you gotta be able to reach the overhead compartments), so she got the surgery to be tall enough. Living her dream. I think people should be able to do what they want with their bodies. If you don't want to change genders or get taller or take hormones, that's your choice, but that's no reason to tell other people what they can't do. Mind your business."

"All I want the government to do is make sure companies can't rip us off by selling us do-nothing pills, poison us, or overcharge for stuff we need to live. Greedy corporate bastards. Police the greedy CEOs and insurance companies who are scamming us, who would shoot your granny if it increased profits, and leave the end users alone."

"People worry too much about other people's genitals. Bunch of weirdos, wanting to check kids genitals before they can use the bathroom or play a sport. Sick freaks if you ask me. Leave the kids alone. When I was a kid, I was the only girl on my t-ball team, and I was just fine. Let kids play sports, doesn't matter what gender they are, what matters is what skill level they are in the sport."

Princess Irena Vasilisa Caroline - Irene - is my only child. When she turns sixteen, in just over a month’s time, she will be confirmed as my heir. It is traditional that the parents of a newly confirmed heir give a gift at the conclusion of the ceremony. This gift is considered an omen of the heir’s rule to come, and is planned and considered for years in advance.  

“Darling, the ship is almost finished. It’s a lovely ship.” 

Iren’s scowl deepens. “I don’t want a ship, Mother. I don’t want the omen of my rule to be a stupid ship.” 

“But it signifies trade, and - “ 

“I know what it signifies. Everyone knows what it signifies. But I don’t want it to!” Irene stamps her foot. “Mother, this is my omen! My rule! I should get some say in this!” 

I open my mouth to repeat the platitudes, and then I stop. All my life, I have been trained to say what is appropriate. What is suitable. What is expected. 

Irene hasn’t. Oh, she was at first, when my parents were alive. But since I became queen, I have been more… lenient. I learned music, and dancing, and history, and poetry. Irene loves music, and sings like a lark, but she also uses a bow and a sword with skill, rides like a centaur and is an astute student of politics as well as history. 

I wanted to protest, when my parents told me what my omen would be - a fabulously rare and precious tree from some faraway land, whose yellow apples were sweet and plentiful. The tree still grows in the palace garden, and I’ve always liked the apples, but… 

I never protested. Fruitful and peaceful. It was a good omen for a regnant queen, they said. 

And now my daughter stands before me and demands a dragon. 

darcy doesn’t sing a single note even during conversations where everyone else is singing at him that is until the argument following his first attempt at proposing to lizzy where you can see his restraint fall away

his first big solo is the letter he writes her

gelsey bell is mary and the unofficial narrator and she sits down at her piano to describe whats going on but before she can ever reveal her feelings on the matter, starting with that gelsey bell scream, mr bennet comes over and does the whole ‘that’s nice dear but give someone else a turn’

mr wickham has this huge ballad about how darcy ruined his life and its super melodramatic and touching

mr collins proposal to lizzy is an absolute bop that he gets so into he forgets for a moment what he’s doing he’s just owning the stage

wickham has a song where he’s trying to seduce lydia but she’s not even listening she’s just monologuing about how excited she is to get laid

during darcy’s second proposal he keeps hesitating waiting for lizzy to interrupt him like she has done every time before but she doesn’t say anything until he’s finished

at the end mary sits down at the piano and right where she’d usually be interrupted, kitty joins her and harmonises

 jane and bingley have the adorable upbeat romantic duet which is just them being super polite like ‘oh so nice to have you here’ ‘so nice to be here’ interspersed with their inner monologue which is just them being like fucking jesus I’m so in love

the bingley sisters probably have a really cool mean solo

lady catherine has this terrifying disney villain song in the garden

“Well, congrats on that.”

They both looked at each other. They’d both spoken at the same time.

“I thought you did this?”

“Me? I thought you did.”

Aziraphale’s brow furrowed. “But this is people breaking the rules!”

Crowley just Looked at him from behind his sunglasses.

Aziraphale cleared his throat. Point made. “Well, why would I…?”

“You’re a Principality.”

“Former,” he murmured, still sort of uneasy with the whole thing. The system had all made sense before: you were an Angel, you were a Demon, you were Human. He still had all his angelic abilities, but it was hard to say he was really one of the Heavenly Host any longer, and that left the question of what, precisely, he was. Most of the time, he didn’t really think on it, because quite often he could say that he was, in fact, happy. And that was more than good enough. But bringing up formal titles was still a bit dodgy.

“Protecting places and the people in them!” Crowley finished, ignoring the caveat.

“Well, I’m certainly not protecting the statue.”

“No, and I wouldn’t expect you to. But it’s good for the people here, right?”

“Well, yes, but it’s also…”

“Breaking the rules, yes, yes, I know. Trust me, I wish I could take credit for this but I can’t. It’s just… them.”

Aziraphale nodded and, after a moment, asked, “Do you ever get the feeling they’re so much better at this than we are? That they sort of make… well, made our jobs irrelevant?”

“Maybe we weren’t put here to do the jobs we thought we were supposed to. She’s funny that way.”

Aziraphale agreed entirely but wasn’t about to say so. For some reason, God hadn’t yet seen fit to smite him and/or Crowley from existence, and he wasn’t about to push his luck.

“So.” He stopped briefly as there was a SPLASH! “Well, that’s that, I suppose.”

“About time. Absolute wanker.” He looked back to his angel. “Shall we?”

“Oh, of course.” They turned and started walking, heading away from the roaring crowds. “You know, I’m quite proud of them.”

well look at this you tory fuck