The council will decide your fate

tumblr is an amazing site. you can get your posts scrutinized by a gimmick blog who employs “biological feasibility of an mpreg situation” as a rationale

*Sprays u with a can of "Serious String"* [you are gently covered by a loose, aerisolized tangle of high-tensile polymer weave]

I am pleased by people messaging me telling me that after adding a carb or protein to their snacks or meals they feel more satisfied all day. Yes, my plan is working. People are getting through their days with less hangry.

The amount of slavery in Ancient Rome was legitimately terrifying tbh

Y’all know that I’m into ancient Roman history and I do a lot of research on it but even though I should be used to it by now sometimes I read an anecdote about how an individual slave was treated and I’m hit with the realization that like a third of the population was living like that and I just need to put my head in my hands for a second

When you study ancient history you’re reminded that slavery has never once been kind or justified. It just takes on different forms of evil in every time and place that it infects.

the bitchy hyperfeminine mean girl archetype of the 2000s and 2010s was a misogynistic attempt to cast intentional “overdone” femininity as inherently vain, stupid, duplicitous and evil but all they did was give an entire generation of dykes a thing for mean femmes

the one great thing about dogs with necks is that you can put beautiful collars on them

red mackerel tabby with moderate white spotting

red mackerel GAMER with moderate white PWNING

Someone will say "as a queer person in the heart of empire, my life is in danger every day" and you'll find out they're a developer for Amazon and live in San Francisco or Seattle or some shit, and then you'll meet a trans girl from Alva, OK who's like "Yeah, things are pretty good. AutoZone moved me to full-time."

Someone in a queer group in my current blue city said that they didn't like expressions of solidarity because it "diluted their oppression".

damn they ain't lying, it is like talking to a fucking genie with you people.

Resteraunt servers have the funniest and most surreal workplace stories of any profession. They have the job that mean nurses think they have. The entire world is working against them the entire shift. And then you feel terrible for laughing. It’s not funny that you tripped and spilled an entire ice tea all over a toddler and the kid started screaming at the top of his lungs. Nobody was having a good day, thank God it wasn’t a hot coffee. That’s not funny. I did laugh so hard tears started rolling down my face when you recounted this mortifying ordeal though.

having a headache while hydrated is so unfair. you were supposed to protect me.

It's a lot healthier to go for a daily walk than to sign up for a gym membership you won't be using because you hate that kind of exercise. It's a lot healthier to eat a frozen meal than to skip a meal because you were too tired to cook something healthy. It's a lot healthier to take a quick shower than to procrastinate an elaborate routine for days. Don't aim so high that you won't be hitting anything!

this is actually really helpful and affirming thanks

*in tears* Thanks kitty, I needed this...